Spinoff: What Kind of Instructor Did/Do You Have?

[skipollo]

I’ve only ridden with a screaming instructor one time, and I’ll never do it again. It’s fine to be stern or tough, but yelling rude comments and saying things just to belittle the rider don’t benefit anyone. For me, anyway, that ride was spent scrambling to do something, ANYTHING, to please the clinician. Whatever it took to make her stop screaming. It didn’t matter if it was the right or wrong thing to do, I was in a panic to just make her stop screaming at me that my horse “hates me” because I lifted my hands too high.

All the other instructors I’ve ridden with are much kinder and would never dream of yelling so harshly at me. I guess I’m a delicate flower, but I have no interest in riding with someone who makes me feel badly about me or my horse. I’m paying them money to help me–the least they can do is be polite.

Call me a wimp, but I like to ride with someone who will push me to do better without screaming across the arena about how terrible I am. I grew up with an instructor who was very kind and really wanted to help me improve, and that’s the type of instruction I seek out now from others.

[PNWjumper]

Count me as another who grew up with a GM type trainer. He was a real bastard sometimes too, but boy did he know his stuff. Heaven help you if you showed up to a lesson with shavings in a horse’s tail or talked back or made excuses or complained. I credit him for just about everything I know about horsemanship. I don’t think that man EVER missed a detail about anything. And watching him ride was magical. Like GM, he could sit on literally anything and make it perform for him like it would for no other.

The best part about riding with such a hard ass was that when you got one of those rare compliments you knew that you had REALLY done good

Now I count Greg Best as the trainer I ride with the most. He’s extremely direct and to the point. I certainly wouldn’t put him in the same category as my old trainer, because he’s just so darn even keeled, but in a similar manner, you know that if you get a compliment it’s because you’ve really earned it.

My regular dressage trainer, on the other hand, is a super sunny happy and sweet woman who is constantly saying, “beeeeeyooootiful!” and other nice things. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about that early on since I always equated brilliant training with that total hard ass edge, but I respect her as much as anyone.

Turns out that my primary factor when I find someone I’m willing to come back to is that they really know what they’re talking about and they’re able to convey it in a way that makes sense to me. They can be jerks about it (though I doubt I would put up with getting screamed at like I did when I was a kid), they can be direct, they can be flowery…doesn’t really matter. As long as they’re always right the delivery method doesn’t matter much :lol:

[alternate_universe]

First trainer I rode with for about 12 years (eventing): Thought she was the classic “tough love but a great person” for the first 10ish years. Then I realized all her trash talking of other trainers, micromanaging me while riding, and always finding a way to remind me that I was not a fully competent rider (despite all those years of her wonderful, correct training [sarcasm]) was not how a nice person, let alone a good trainer, acted. Had me in tears at a horse show… at the age of 20. Oh yeah, and most of the horses in the barn lived in conditions that are likely illegal.

Current trainer of about 2 1/2 years (H/J): Never raised her voice to me once, but always tells me when something needs to improve. She doesn’t make it a habit of trash talking other trainers or riders and she definitely doesn’t insult others on a personal level. She can explain things different ways, which I really need. Her horses are very well cared for. Not surprisingly, I’ve learned more in my time with her than I probably did in my final 5 years with the last trainer.

[Luseride]

I did not have the first lesson, learned by falling off.

[TSWJB]

I rode with a screamer for many years. I thought it was a tough approach to training and I put up with it because I didn’t think softies could get the job done. I wish I had not ridden with a screamer. She ruined my confidence and she was not effective with what she taught. She would say stupid things like “I am going to cut your fingers off with a dull butter knife” but she never gave me the tools to fix it properly with proper flatwork.
I am with PNWJumper. I like riding with someone who knows their stuff! That is the most important to me. I have learned from someone who was very nice and encouraging. Never raised her voice. But she also knew her stuff.
My current trainer is extremely knowledgeable! She used to be a lot sweeter. Would get on my horse when I was having trouble and wouldn’t get after me. Now it’s a bit different. I think she is a lot tougher. If I say I am not confident to do that, she doesn’t care. Do it! But she is the person I have learned the most from! And she doesn’t yell. I wish I had not wasted my time with a screamer all those years. I find that very unproductive.
I have watched the George Morris clinics, and while he may be a bit harsh at times, (he said to Shawn, you’re a big boy, you need to run 10 miles a day!) he really knows his stuff! So I would ride with him in a heartbeat.
I don’t need a friend, but I am pretty picky now in that I lose interest in training with you, even if your nice, if you don’t know your stuff!

[ivy62]

I had a nice trainer when I was a kid and I had a lot of fun but I did not learn the very basics. Now as an adult re-rider with a daughter learning, I am making sure she gets what did not have.
I have learned more in the last year with our trainer then I did ever. She is kind but knowledgeable. You do not get a compliment unless you do it right. She explains how to get the job done and that way I can practice.
Now, with my daughter, she has been riding with her for about one year and is doing fabulous. She is starting in dressage and is learning the basics of contact and precision. ie: a dressage show. Most of all the horses well being comes first.
I had a really bad lesson about 2 weeks ago and it really upset me. I just could not get it together, just an off day I suppose. For the most part our lessons are always productive somehow…
Our horse is a gentleman but still not the easiest. He is sensitive and responsive so you have to learn finesse while you ride him. She is helping us both.
Now, her counterpart, her husband can be a yeller but he is magnificent at training a young horse… People I am not so sure. Watching him with the young horses is amazing.
A good trainer is one who can teach horse or rider how to get the job done properly and with enjoyment. So different personalities for different people.

[wcporter]

@Lady Eboshi;7357195

Mostly, they were trying to keep us safe.

THIS for sure. I know she was tough on me, on all of us, but it was to keep us safe. All the rules she had that I thought were over the top when I was a kid, I now know were there for a reason. Because I’ve seen what can happen when you cut corners.

And honestly, for the 15 years I rode and worked with her, I can count on less than one hand the number of horse-related “accidents” I ever saw. I dont think that was a coincidence.

[Kat]

my first instructor started out super nice, but reached the end of rope by the end of my time with her. She really cared for the horse, but wasn’t the best teacher/ rider.
my second trainer was really tough. She was no-nonsense and made me the rider I am today. Her AT was very soft spoken and needed perfection on the flat.
My current trainers are all very different but require me to be trying my hardest, being consistent and fixing or at least changing my mistakes. They push me but only because they know I want to be better

[PaintPony]

I don’t mind someone who is tough and makes you work hard, but if you scream or make things personally insulting, I will shut down. I’ve always been that way.

In college we had a major hard ass for a coach. So I preferred to mostly ride with his assistant trainer - she was more my style, (which is positive reinforcement.) My best friend however loved the hard ass guy because that’s what worked for her.

We both rode well and had a great experience. By my senior year I stopped being intimidated by the head coach, and he was much more complimentary of my riding. Everyone is different in how they learn best, so I think it’s a good thing that there are a variety of teaching styles out there.

[RLastInstallment]

My very first instructor was (is) a very kind woman. She trains MO Foxtrotters, and does quite well with them. She’s a western rider by heart, and that woman has a seat made of super glue! She took HJ instruction from my mentor, and puts a solid base on her young riders. Unfortunately, her niece actively tried to ruin my relationship with the instructor, and our parting of ways was a bit rough, though we are still very friendly.

My mentor is a lot like GM. No nonsense, tends to be very brash. Not very nice. She called me an idiot on a daily basis (literally). But she was open to sharing all of her knowledge with me. I was the bottom rung rider, as I was her employee first, a rider second. So, I was kind of her punching bag. But she did compliment me often, and loved my dumpy paint cross that I trained myself. She put me on pretty much all of her horses, save the ponies. She must have seen SOMETHING in me if she kept me around as long as she did.

Currently, I have three (yes, 3!) instructors.

#1, is my boss more so than my instructor, but I’ll take lessons time-to-time, and I ride her horses often. She’s a nice woman, but doesn’t know a lot. She can get little riders started very well, but does a poor job with more experienced riders. I get fits watching her teach. When I ride with her, I hear a lot of “GOOD!” “PICK HIS HEAD UP!” “Sorry, you were right” :lol:

#2, a dressage instructor who drives in once a month (so, it’s more like a clinic, but I’ve been riding with her for quite a while now). She’s a lovely, lovely woman. My horse adores her (versus current instructor #1, whom he HATES and actively tries to kick… that’s a whole other story), and I adore her, too. She’s unfailingly kind. She gives us a lot of praise in the form of “yes” when we’re doing something right. When we’re wrong, she very gently corrects us. A nice change from my mentor.

#3, a young eventer - I think she’s a year younger than I am. She competes Prelim, and is a very talented instructor. She gives me a lot to work on and think about during a lesson, which is essential for me. My horse likes her quite a lot, though she does make him work very, very hard! For a lazy bum like him, it’s torture! She’s the one who help put his canter together.

[snowedunder]

Count me among those who grew up with the screamers. As a kid, I sort of relished the challenge of getting their approval, but I can see how that could spin into a vicious cycle for someone else. Both of the trainers I had during my junior years did a good job of instilling confidence without hand-holding or coddling.

Fast forward 19 years later and my first trainer back was a warm, fuzzy type who was more of a trainer than an instructor. I’m not opposed to warm, fuzzy types but I never felt like I was getting any meaningful instruction.

My current trainer is very good and focuses a lot on building a solid base and riding correctly. He’s been very good at getting me out of my own head. He can be a screamer but only when he feels you aren’t listening or trying. Sadly, he kind of sucks at customer service, but that is another thread entirely :lol:

[Lil_Nibs]

LOL. My instructor growing up was a woman named Katherine Russell from North Fork School of Equitation in Purcellville, VA. Previous to that was Jane Marshall Dillon. Both were tough. The toughness did not bother me, but looking back, I think it would bother many people in this day and age. I was called weak, fat, stupid, unteachable, rough and untalented. But on the other hand, I sure did learn some great things. And I still ride today! This does not mean that I am better than anyone or that I condone this type of training. Just offering my experience!

[Mukluk]

As an adult I took one lesson from a “screamer” and it was a deal breaker. If you can’t treat me with respect don’t bother. What I value in an instructor.

1. Honest feedback.
2. Genuine interest in me, my horse, and our progress
3. The ability to discern a student’s learning style and adapt to that versus expect all students to be one size fits all.
4. A sense of humor.
5. Patience.

A secure person does not need to belittle others to feel “good.”

I ended up with a trainer who was further away but was very knowledgeable, encouraging, and treated me with respect!

I learned a great deal from her and had fun in the process!

[Lil_Nibs]

A most interesting thread, in my opinion!

[Covergirl15]

I have found I tend to work better with encouraging trainers (: I don’t think one type is better than another, but I think it depends on the person. While I have toughened up a lot, and don’t take things as personally as I used to, I still need someone positive. My current trainer is the best of both worlds–she corrects me when I am wrong or need to change something, but she is also encouraging and tells me when I do something right as well. I have ridden with “tougher” trainers before and I am so afraid to make a mistake that I end up riding horribly That being said, my trainer always expects us to put our horses first and will end a lesson early if you have an attitude problem (whiny, complaining, blaming your mistakes on the horse, etc). For me, this is just how I learn the best (:

[Ponyplusaninch]

I had a screamer when I started–and she didn’t just scream when she wasn’t happy with how you were riding, she screamed at you when you did something right!

It was a little much for me. Had it been the occasional yelling, I could have probably managed, but at age 9, it was overwhelming. I could never tell when I’d done something right or wrong haha.

I had one trainer that was extremely quiet; I’d say a little too quiet, but he was a great rider to watch and learn that way, and after four years with him I finally got some nerve and started asking more questions (I was super shy. I preferred to read lots of books on training methods and guess and check).

The trainer I was riding with before I had all these cervical (back) issues was an extremely prophetic trainer and person. I swear I left each lesson with something new to think about in my non-horse life. Lessons were like a meditation state because he taught so simply and efficiently; the lesson would feel like it was short but it would be a full hour . I actually quite liked it. It was a different experience for me from traditional teaching, and I rode a heck of a ton better the way he explained things. He also had an extreme amount of patience for my questions (which I’m full of on a daily basis).

Example of something he said at the end of my lesson: “You never hesitate to reprimand a 1200 pound animal that disrespects you, and yet you let mere man walk all over you. Why is that?”

I was dumbfounded for a week at least.

[AdultAmmy]

[QUOTE=wcporter;7356381]
I grew up riding with an instructor very similar to GM from the tender age of 8 until my early 20’s. She was tough as nails, allowed no BS, and the horse’s well being always (with the rare exception, of course) came before the rider. And she expected 100% every time.

No crying on horseback allowed. If you fell off and could stand back up, you got back on. Always. If it was 90 degrees and you were hot, dehydrated, and exhausted, your horse got cooled off, untacked and offered water before you could even consider taking your water bottle and sitting in the air conditioned viewing room.

Sometimes she was not nice and she did, more than once, hurt my feelings. Like GM, she has mellowed with age, but through all of that grit she was and still is a trainer who knows her sh*t. And I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world.

As an adult rider, I soley credit my horsemanship to her. You will never see me riding sans helmet, with incorrect tack, or on a dirty, unkempt horse. And these days, I mostly putz around the back 40 or hack out in the field

As a professional (in the non-horse industry), I have zero problem accepting criticism and have learned to take almost nothing personally. My last boss was a major hardass but impeccable at her job. She would tear you a new one if you did not produce what she asked the first time and she expected perfection. Others hated her for it. I admired her, and because I didn’t take it personally, learned a tremendous amount from her.

These GM love/hate, he’s a god/he’s an ass/sexist/bigot threads pop up every year and opinions always fall right down the middle. I would cut off my left titty to ride with GM for only 15 mins. But his style does not intimidate me. And I assume this is because of the trainer I grew up with.

I think I may be a masochist :lol:[/QUOTE]

Sounds like my old trainer to-a- Tee. I’m very appreciative to have had this type of instruction during my youth, and also feel as though it made me the horsewoman I am today. Some days you cried, some days you laughed. (Seriously, one show she made each and every one of us cry, but that only happened one time :P) but at the end of the day we were all family. My trainer was like my 2nd mother. I ended up selling my last horse in 2005, moved out of the area in 2008 and FINALLY found a barn in my new location this year. While I respect the horse community here, I just couldn’t find someone who compared to my previous trainer. I want the ugly truth, I don’t want to beat around the bush.

Oh, and I also found that riders who say, don’t clean up after their horse bugged the crap out of me. I can’t leave my current barn without putting away the tack (the bridles must be hung in a figure-8), sweeping the isles and organizing before I leave. It’s not because I’m OCD, it’s because my previous trainer wouldn’t have it any other way.

[RugBug]

Growing up, I only remember being yelled at when I deserved it. Trainer was tough and must have had some sort of perfectionist in her because I learned to be one, but I don’t ever recall her being mean or hurting my feelings.

@NoSuchPerson;7356759

See, I just don’t get the belief that a tough, demanding trainer is essential to learning to ride well.

It may not be essential for you, but many of us prefer it.

I quickly lose respect for the “encouraging” type trainers. Truthfully, I feel they often have little integrity and are dishonest to spare my feelings. Tell me that I @#$'d up and not to do it again (and how to fix it) and I’m good. You don’t have to shout it, but don’t sugar coat it. I’m not fragile, I have enough self-esteem that if you tell me I suck it won’t destroy me, so do it. Get on my case when I’m riding like a monkey. I will appreciate you more for it.

[foursocks]

I still remember the first time I rode with the trainer I was with until I went off to college. I was so excited I was posting really high off the saddle as we all trotted around the ring. I was nine, had been with the up-downer trainer for nearly a year, had shown in my first schooling show, and now I was deemed good enough to move up to the “real” trainer. My ridiculous posting did not go unnoticed.

“Ms FourrrrrrrSOCKS! Why are you throwing yourself out of your saddle? Your pony does NOT appreciate it, and neither do I!” I should add that he had a bellow that one could hear across a football field or two.

I loved it. I learned so much from him over the years- from how to wrap to how to win a hunter U/S class to how to vault onto my horse’s back- and I credit my good horsemanship almost entirely to him. One of his favorite nicknames for me was Space Cadet, but as he always said we only tease those we love. I’ll take sarcasm and a well-earned bellow any day over someone telling me I’m doing great when I know I’m not. What is the use in that?