sport psychology help needed

[mimiwenk]

First a little background: I am a 66 year old lady who has been riding for many years. I used to event, but after a bad fall that put me in the hospital, I promised my family I wouldn’t jump anymore. At that time I had young children who depended on me, which I obviously don’t have now. I switched to dressage, and more lately, I have a wonderful horse that I also drive.

In December, he very uncharacteristically bucked me off. I sustained a very severe broken vertebrae, and now my family is once again giving me grief about riding: "you’re not as young as you used to be, horse back riding is the most dangerous think you can do, etc. I have done some sole searching, and honestly don’t think I can quit horses; however, my mind is playing with me, in that I am seeing in my head scenarios where I am more severely injured (paralyzed ?) when I resume riding. I know I need to get over this, as I believe in the theory of what you perceive, you create (if that makes sense).

Does anyone have any advice, books to read, etc.? Thanks.

[2DogsFarm]

I’m a bit older (68) and have no family aside from a brother who thinks I’m crazy to do anything with horses at all (he’s a musician).

Since your horse drives, could you consider concentrating on that?
I know - as a pretty new Driver myself (~5yrs) - it can be just as dangerous, but you can judge if you are safer in a vehicle than in the saddle.
I have found I enjoy the Cones/Obstacles just as much as when I Evented (@ lower levels) & Driven Dressage gives me much the same Zen as ridden.
FWIW, I also ride Dressage - retraining a TWH, now working at Training edging to 1st.

I am also no stranger to the What Ifs of riding or driving.
Worst riding injury a dislocated shoulder many, many years ago, cracked rib from Driving just last Summer.
But I choose to do what my heart tells me I want, acknowledging input from Brain cautioning doing it conservatively.

[mimiwenk]

I have considered just driving, but keep reading about how dangerous that is. Curious, how did you crack your rib?

[juliep]

I have some fears as well after returning to riding last year after a 14 year break. I’m about 3/4 through this book and have found it to be really helpful, especially the mantras! I like focusing on the positives…ie thinking (“calm and balanced” - instead of desperately trying to avoid thinking about the negatives (“don’t get nervous!”). I got mine on amazon. https://horseandriderbooks.wordpress.com/2016/09/30/hey-riders-its-time-to-tame-your-lizard-brain/

[Scribbler]

I think it is easy to feel nervous while you are still convalescing from a fall. Don’t make any decisions until you are fully healed and fit again.

There is one decision you need to make for yourself, and another discussion you need to have with your famly if they don’t support your decision.

[costco_muffins]

Lynda Lahman, The Winner’s Mind. You can talk to @tidy rabbit about her too if you want.

She also has a book you can work through. https://www.amazon.com/Winners-Mind-Strengthening-Mental-Athletes-ebook/dp/B00MU76MS0

She’s awesome… and full disclosure she’s also my mother.

[2DogsFarm]

@mimiwenk

I have considered just driving, but keep reading about how dangerous that is. Curious, how did you crack your rib?

:rolleyes: Came out the cart when my usually bombproof (for his age & experience) 4yo mini spooked & bolted.
Crappy arena footing tipped the cart & launched me.
So, Yes, driving can be as dangerous as riding.
But you know that already.

FWIW: I drove mini the next day at the same venue & he was fine.
Put in two more 5mi+ trail drives with my Club & a demo 12/8 (after not hitching him for over a month) in a ginormous indoor with noisy heater fans running, PA blaring, 9 other Drivers with horses & Drafts - most wearing jingle bells, AND one gal driving her sleigh on the sand.
So a stew of various noises & he never put a foot wrong.

{Shrugs}
You makes your choices & lives with the results.

[RMJacobs]

I am 61 and I’ve had rheumatoid arthritis for over 20 years. I went back to riding after my RA diagnosis. I decided I would rather do what I love, and deal with the consequences. I had some bad injuries and changed my approach when I realized my balance was totally shot. I took up driving, knowing that it’s more dangerous than riding. Driving eliminated my biggest risk riding.

I drove until two years ago, and then had a pretty bad crash. Ironically, it wasn’t my fault and wasn’t the horse’s fault–my husband had been driving my car (a stick shift) and I guess didn’t park it correctly. It rolled down the driveway and hit the cart when I was driving the pony. Luckily the horse wasn’t hurt, but I was, and it was a long recovery. I hung it up then and there, as my pony had been telling me it was time to retire him. He was pretty old and had the start of cataracts, and was spooking at routine stuff. That had nothing to do with our crash, but it was just a matter of time until a spook caused a problem. So I retired him, which he didn’t mind at all.

Even thought I am still dealing with injuries from that crash, I was never sorry that I kept driving until then. I had a lot of wonderful years, wonderful experiences, and those memories are still with me (at least until senility takes over).

I recently had a bad crash doing my other passion, bicycling. I knew my balance problems were getting too bad to continue, but I’m stubborn. I have now accepted the reality that I shouldn’t be riding a two wheeler, and bought myself an adult trike instead.

My point is that we need to live life to the fullest. Maybe I’ve pushed it too far, but I’m not sorry.

Rebecca

[BAC]

Have you considered speaking with a sports psychologist? Maybe that would help allay your fears since it seems as though you do want to continue riding and driving. I’m your age and I think it’s natural to become more fearful as we age but it doesn’t mean you can’t continue riding for as long as you want to. You could just as easily get hurt in a fall at home or a car crash so I think it’s important to live life to the fullest while you are able. And if you decide it’s time for you to step down there is nothing wrong with doing that either.

[stressgirl37]

Check out Confident Rider on Facebook. Jane Pike has programs to subscribe to and works sometimes with Warwick Schiller.

[ecileh]

In 2016, I had a horse go over backwards and land on me (and kick me in the gut on the way back to his feet, the jerk) and I remember that the moment I realized we were going over backwards I thought oh shit, I’m going to be paralyzed!. Funny how we worry more about that than being killed, isn’t it?

I actually went to therapy after the accident and something my counselor told me has really helped with that recovery and with other things (like breaking my leg a year later in another riding accident).

Basically, she drew a line on a piece of paper and starting making dots on the line. She had me give her some memories of good things that happened while riding and each was a dot. This is my first blue ribbon as a kid, this is that time we took the horses swimming in the river, this is the time that I wandered into a herd of deer while trail riding alone, etc. And then she made another dot and said “This is the time that horse went over backwards on you”. And another and said “this is the time you got back on your horse after that” and this is the first time you jumped a course after that" etc, etc.

Then she asked if there was anything noticeably different about the dot that was the accident. No. Just another dot on the line. Another moment in time that is flanked on either side by normal, happy, riding things.

That exercise helped me step out of the moment in time that was that one dot and see the perspective of the long long line of dots stretching backwards into my history in the saddle. It’s easy for us to focus on the dots, too–especially when we are physically hurt and in recovery mode.

Accidents are blips on a long line of events–most of which are good. Life long riders know that they are inevitable, even if our loved ones worry when they happen. Remember that, for them, those two particular dots where you got hurt don’t have the context of a lifetime of other dots. They’re big and black and scary. Only you have the context of the whole line.

[Magicboy]

Please investigate EMDR therapy. It’s very helpful in reprogramming your brain/neural response after trauma. A counselor or MSW therapist can help you with this
after a very bad crash, I was throwing up before I mounted because my fear was so bad. eMDR is very simple but really can help you

[sfw]

I switched to a very quiet horse after similar experiences as what’s posted above, and still enjoy riding, it’s just different! He’s very agile and athletic QH; we’re not going to the Olympics but he has a lot of get up and go just a quieter amygdala. I realized that’s what I needed- a horse with a lower fight or flight reflex. They’re out there!