Starting to wonder if I should sell my riding horse

[Lauruffian]

My health is a big blaahhhhh mess right now–I’m dealing with progressing neurological issues related to Chiari malformation (as well as fibromyalgia and thyroid disease) and recently made the difficult decision not to ride until, well, until. My boy is a sweetie and isn’t one to buck or anything, but my balance is wonky, my right leg is partially numb, my vision randomly blurs, my muscles spasm randomly with use (sometimes I couldn’t tighten the girth), my hands tremor, and so on…so, my concern isn’t that I would be thrown off, but that I’d lose my balance and come off. Hitting my head, helmet or not, would be nightmarish, and jarring my neck or spine would also be Bad. I have two young sons and a husband to consider.

I’ve started driving our miniature horse instead for my horsey fix and am trying to keep my sweet boy busy with toys, lunging, turn out, and in-hand work, but I feel bad that he isn’t being worked the same. I’ve considered having him trained to drive, but I also have a local trainer interested in buying or leasing him. He’s a A-circuit veteran that her daughter rode in college when he was 3; I bought him when he was 10. Part of me thinks he has already earned his stripes as a show and lesson horse in his previous life at the university; let him be retired from that life (he’s 12 now, so nice middle age). He has soundness issues (sore back, wind puffs) that are fine now that I’m not pushing him, but will likely come to the surface when pushed to perform, even if just as a lesson horse.

I sometimes feel I’m being selfish; let this busy, curious, active boy go somewhere where he works regularly. But then, he also is very selective and standoffish with people, and he has definitely developed a bond with me and my sons (he still prefers to ignore/avoid the guy who feeds and cleans in the morning, and walks away from the other boarders saying hello). I dunno.

I’m just struggling in a lot of ways right now, and I find myself questioning this whole thing.

Who has reached the point with their health issues that they sold their horse? When did you realize it was time? How did you know? Or, if you reached that crossroad and decided not to, what influenced that decision that way?

[Bristol_Bay]

I don’t have an answer for you. I just want to give you a hug.

I have also seriously considered selling my horse due to physical issues. I get very sore and have trouble sleeping at times because of inflammation. But it’s really nothing like what you are going through.

The only thing I will say in favor of selling is that you will no longer have to feel bad about not riding if you let go of him. The people who want him sound like they love him and will give him a great home. Could you just lease him out for a few months and see how it goes? Could you afford to support him in retirement if he didn’t stay sound?

It’s so much to think about. I hope you find peace with your decision. Again, hugs!

[Lauruffian]

Thank you. I know I’m getting ahead of myself, but my life is changing so much and I find myself questioning a lot of things. I found out this week that my claim for a medical retirement was approved, which is both a tremendous relief and a grave reality. My career, my identity, as a teacher has ended. I’ve found comfort in fostering corn snakes (we breed them–another hobby of mine); I can’t help an emaciated horse neglected by ignorant owners, but I can help an emaciated corn snake neglected by ignorant owners.

I do love my mini and she is going NOWHERE, so my identity as horsewoman is secure. And I adore my goofy riding horse, but I look at my young sons and see their lack of interest in horses (much as I try), look at my health, look at my new life, and begin to wonder if some more changes are needed.

[DancingArabian]

Is keeping him causing a financial burden? If not…I would not sell the horse. Not only because of emotional attachment, but his soundness issues can cause him a hard landing elsewhere if someone starts showing him and goes too far with it.

I would absolutely get him trained to drive and give him a new career. There’s even different types of competitions you can get into if you ever wanted to get back into showing.

Are you fairly mobile on foot? You can do showmanship type things with him (the in hand patterns, I think it’s called showmanship) or try things like obstacle courses, liberty/trick training with him.

[Lauruffian]

DancingArabian (and BTW my boy is an Arabian)–that’s been my thinking to this point. I fear he’d be used up when, as the chiropractor said, he’s already a “high mileage vehicle.” He’s done Santa Barbara and Scottsdale and all that–he never, ever was ridden out of an arena. With his new life with me, he loves getting out and about in the world. He has the BEST mind–what would spook my beloved former mare and send her to the opposite end of the ring has him trotting right on up to investigate (and usually, smash, if it’s smashable).

On foot is tricky with me. Somedays I’m able to walk a few blocks, other days walking just to the car causes my calf muscles to spasm in very painful ways (they get like two big bags of marbles, ugh). Jogging can trigger the spasms so doing things on the ground is tricky. Heh, that said I had him out the other day teaching him to go over a small fence while in hand–he had a blast, then later I was like…wow, my calves hurt…oh, DUH.

I think my life changes right now are hitting me harder than I thought they would, even though they aren’t unexpected. And man, I miss riding. The idea of not riding again…ugh.

I have a major test tomorrow at UCLA that will tell me a lot more about what’s going on, and what may (or may not) be needed. Maybe it’s anxiety about that, too, causing me to fret.

[kdow]

I would say don’t rush any decisions right now. It is normal to kind of question everything when you first start having major problems, but after a while typically you figure out what your new ‘normal’ is and can then make better informed decisions than the ones you make in the first panic.

If finances are a concern, then I would consider talking to the trainer about a short term lease just to give you that time. Otherwise the horse probably doesn’t care much if you ride him, so just do what you can. (If your kids like him, they may also be more interested in working with him now that you can’t do as much and are wondering about keeping him. Sometimes kids are weird like that with appreciating the things they have. )

[Jackie_Cochran]

My case is sort of similar, I have MS.

I did not give up my horses, but I did not have enough energy to ride after getting ready to ride. Since they were all aged to elderly at that time they got to loaf around until veterinary emergencies required me to put them down.

BUT my riding horses were somewhat more challenging than your guy. I had a Paso Fino mare that often felt like a fire-cracker ready to go off (no she did not go off, I broke and trained her myself, but some rides were exercises in subtle diplomacy.) I had just started two Arabs under saddle before my undiagnosed MS got really bad, one a stallion. My main problem was that my horses were just used to me being able to ride, to ride out the occasional crow-hopping, to be able to keep my seat during a shy, and to be able to handle the occasional bolt from high spirits.

I now ride other people’s horses (2 Arabs, one Arab-Welsh). I got myself an RS-tor riding aid (www.rstor.co.uk) that I hold in my hand when I ride, if I fall I have a good chance of not landing on my head! I ride in a ring with someone nearby that I can steer the horse too if things get hairy. I only have enough energy to ride 30 minutes at a time, after that I get too exhausted to ride safely. I need help with the catching, grooming, and tacking up of the horse because doing these things can make me so tired that I can only ride at a walk. My balance is bad, sometimes my legs/hands move involuntarily, I do not have much of a proprioceptive sense, and hand tremors. If I am having a particularly bad day physically I TELL THE HORSE and also tell the horse that we are just going to walk today (before I get up in the saddle.) Sometimes I even get out on the trail with someone walking ahead of me—exciting!!!

But if I had had a horse like your angel I might have been able to work something out and still be able to ride my own horse on my land. Take care, and look into getting a RS-tor, mine has brought me great peace of mind and increased my limited physical courage a little bit, I am still cautious but I am now a little bit bolder.

[RMJacobs]

I agree with everything Dancing Arabian said–very wise and well put.

As I think I’ve mentioned to you before, OP, I gave up riding due to disability, and it was heartbreaking, but I felt much better about it once I took up driving. Further, when my driving pony got too old to go out, I converted my daughter’s riding pony to a driving pony, and it was the best thing I could have done for both that pony and for me. He didn’t like to be ridden but really found his niche driving. Maybe your horse will, too.

Something else to consider with driving your full size horse–minis and small ponies are fun, but driving a bigger horse is pretty darned cool and to me it was a very different experience. When I took over my daughter’s pony, I’d been driving my Hackney, who was small hadn’t been very forward for a while. My daughter’s pony is much larger and was always far more powerful–what fun!

Unfortunately now he’s getting up there in age too, so we go out less often than we used to, but we still go out and he can still thrill me to pieces when he really moves out into a lovely canter.

Best of luck with whatever you decide, and hugs to you.

Rebecca

[Crash_Helmet]

Lauruffian, you are so awesome. I’m following your thread with great interest and am so thankful this little girl found her way to you! :yes:

[Jingo-ace]

Give yourself a couple months to adjust to your new normal first. Then, if you still feel the need…call “your local trainer who wants him” because I know she will take good care of him & find hm his own little girl to cherish. These decisions are tough right now, but if you look at it as a big burden being lifted from your shoulders, then it is the right decision. imho, J

[Lauruffian]

Thanks JA. I think the big issue for me right now is I still don’t know what my new normal is going to be. It keeps changing, and we still don’t have a clear picture of what’s going on. The test I had yesterday likely revealed a lot, so we’ll see what I learn when I get the results this week.

As it isn’t a financial issue, I’ll hang on to him and cry in his mane when I need to. I think he’d enjoy learning tricks, too.

[arapaloosa_lady]

I’d follow your gut - a horse who has definite people preferences isn’t a great candidate for a lesson program. There are certainly private owners who could take great care of him, but I wouldn’t sell him to a trainer who wants to use him for lessons. 12 is very young to retire him, and there are many show horses who need some maintenance.

I wouldn’t make any decisions right now when your life is in turmoil, but I’d consider staying open to finding a new home for him in the future.

[Lauruffian]

Thank you everyone, again, for your input. There is so much change swirling around me; I find myself questioning so much. You all have been very insightful and encouraging.

For now, I’n going to hold on to him. I’m turning him out, lunging him, taking him on hand-walks by the goats and things. I may do a little clicker training, too. Once some dust settles physically, I may send him out to a professional to be trained to drive–I think he’d be good at it.

I blogged about my medical ACK last night (link is in my signature, if you curious), and included a few pics of driving the mini toward the end. It’s how I stay sane–and it’s what I’m doing this morning after I take my kids to school.

[AmarachAcres]

Have you thought of having someone train him for driving? He sounds like he has a good mind.

You could ride on good days and drive on not so good ones.

If financially you have no need to sell him, keep him. Don’t feel guilty he isn’t ridden, he doesn’t care. You groom him, give him snacks, scratch the itchy spots.

My back comes and goes and I know the day will come where I can’t ride anymore. They will learn to drive at that point or be pasture puffs.

He makes you happy, you make him happy. What more is there?

My best wishes to you in your journey. Hugs.

[gjp]

I fractured my humerus in January and haven’t been able to do more than look at horse for these past months. I too, am so on the fence about selling him. I love him like I would a child. He is a dominant, clown of a horse, but may not be bombproof enough for me to start back on. Horses are a very expensive hobby, and I feel selfish by reminding myself of how much more money I would have if I didn’t have him. I have someone coming to ride him tomorrow to see if they get along to compete in a judged pleaseure ride. This man and his wife could give my horse a life time home and have the means to take care of him. It is painful in all respects to think that I may need to let him go. Everytime I make up my mind, I change it. Broken bones in senior years just don’t heal like they did in younger days. You are not alone. Hugs.

[2enduraceriders]

[QUOTE=AmarachAcres;7817576]
Have you thought of having someone train him for driving? He sounds like he has a good mind.

You could ride on good days and drive on not so good ones.

If financially you have no need to sell him, keep him. Don’t feel guilty he isn’t ridden, he doesn’t care. You groom him, give him snacks, scratch the itchy spots.

My back comes and goes and I know the day will come where I can’t ride anymore. They will learn to drive at that point or be pasture puffs.

He makes you happy, you make him happy. What more is there?

My best wishes to you in your journey. Hugs.[/QUOTE]I fully agree!!!
Not only will you be able to keep and enjoy him if you ever do decide to find him a new home that fact that he rides and drives will insure a good placement! You might find your sons will enjoy driving with you.

[RMJacobs]

Lauruffian, I am wondering what your thoughts on this subject are now. I’ve been thinking about you lately and wondering how you are doing.

Rebecca

[Lauruffian]

Oh how funny the timing of this. I sort of reached the conclusion yesterday, moreso today, that it may be time to let him move on to a better-suited home. He’s a nice horse and I’ve barely sat on him in the last year, and done little more than walk when I do. He likes work, and though he’s been turned out and lunged and such regularly, it’s not the same. I like him, and he me, but it’s not the same connection I’ve had with others. I honestly think he’ll be fine, perhaps happier, somewhere else.

I find post-brain surgery–with two back surgeries also in my recent past–that I am hesitant to get on him, and even hesitant to be in a big cart behind him. I feel a bit fragile, and with two young children at home, I don’t want to risk anything. I reached the tentative conclusion today that it may be best for our family for us to have mini(s) and goat(s) rather than full sized horses, at least for now. Even if we have full sized horses in the future, this boy is too talented, fit, and eager to really be the type that may better suit us–a mellow retiree or pasture puff, not a polished, trained, talented hot blood who needs to be kept busy or he turns destructive, heh.

I put out a call to a local trainer who knows this horse well and she has a couple of clients who may be very interested. Of course, I will write a right of first refusal into any contract.

So, we’ll see. I’m not 100% decided, but it really seems like this is the direction that is best for us. I don’t have anxiety or heartbreak over it, either, which perhaps is a sign it’s right and it’s time…but again, nothing is decided.

[Toadie_s_mom]

Are you leasing, or selling? I leased my horse to a fellow Cother after my surgery last year. Not suggesting anything, just curious. My lease has turned out very well, but after a year we need to revisit, and I’m still torn about selling. Lessor cannot afford to buy, and I don’t want to lose track of him, but if he comes back he’ll be standing here again doing nothing.

[RMJacobs]

Lauruffian, best of luck with whatever you decide.

Rebecca