Stop it with the "heart horse" thing. No, really. Stop it.

[Snowflake]

My old mare is my “heart horse”. I have a fancy, lovely and valuable gelding who is everything I could have put down on paper for my “dream horse” but that deeper connection rests with the crippled old pasture pet. If the barn were on fire, I’d save the old mare first - then him. From a logical standpoint it doesn’t make sense. Why save the unrideable old mare who isn’t worth anything and risk losing the high-end show horse worth $$$? Because, in that moment, logic gets thrown out the window and I think with my heart.

If my mare were sick and in pain, “heart horse” status doesn’t mean I let her suffer while I’m trying foolishly to save her. It doesn’t mean I drain bank accounts and go into financial ruin with her status as my justification. She will be given the same degree of compassion I would give any other horse. I will just be sadder to let her go and I will grieve her loss for quite a long time. She will take a piece of my heart with her when she goes.

If only every horse could find their heart person - to know love and be loved in this way. Then, we would never have to see another picture of a starving, skinny horse again and all horses would want for nothing.

[Pennywell_Bay]

meh. You don’t have to like it, but who cares if people use it? I’m not a great fan of the term, but I certainly “get it”. I have horses, dogs, cats. I certainly love them all and I certainly LIKE a few better than the others. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them all, there is just that something. If you haven’t had it, it is hard to describe. Does that make me horrible that a few have been more special than others? Nope, and I can tell you the animals don’t give a damn either. They are all cared for and have attention.

If this is the worst thing that bugs you (forget people who write their novel posts with no paragraphs or punctuation, don’t know the difference between confirmation or conformation, etc) consider yourself lucky.

[511]

FF- If you are of the mindset that horses do not have souls or that they perform in X way to Y stimulus then you may gain more ribbons if you sculpt your body to the currently expected ‘rider’ silhouette and train yourself to pose ‘just so’ in the saddle while people are watching. You may garner ribbons and accolades but you will not ever be a horseman/woman.

I am sure you are an excellent rider. However without the ability to reach into a horses heart and soul you are cheating yourself of one of the best parts of horse ownership.

[TBROCKS]

[QUOTE=HungarianHippo;7764484]
DINGDINGDINGDING! And there it is: “heart horse” is not about you distinguishing internally your own love among your own horses. It’s about you judging that you love yours more than I love mine. That said, I do sincerely appreciate your prayers and hope for my salvation.
Gotta run, I have some puppies to kick.[/QUOTE]

Do people really think this way? Why would it be about you in any way at all?
We shouldn’t profess to care deeply about an animal because YOU might take it that it means we think you don’t care about yours?
Pretty sad way to view the world. Yeah, go kick your puppies, hon.

[french_fry]

[QUOTE=5;7764864]
FF- If you are of the mindset that horses do not have souls or that they perform in X way to Y stimulus then you may gain more ribbons if you sculpt your body to the currently expected ‘rider’ silhouette and train yourself to pose ‘just so’ in the saddle while people are watching. You may garner ribbons and accolades but you will not ever be a horseman/woman.

I am sure you are an excellent rider. However without the ability to reach into a horses heart and soul you are cheating yourself of one of the best parts of horse ownership.[/QUOTE]

I am a pretty mediocre rider, actually! I am definitely in it for the love of horses (or I’d be a lot further along in my riding.) And, with very few exceptions, I’ve loved every horse I’ve ridden or worked with. My original vent was more about the fact that “heart horse” is used to justify ridiculous actions or as an excuse for extra attention or sympathy, but I do feel sorry for people who think they can only have a special bond with one “heart” horse.

I understand that the subject of my OP was pretty divisive, but I don’t think anyone who is arguing against the term “heart horse” is only in it for the ribbons. In fact, I think the opposite is true - most of us are saying that you can have a deep bond with just about any horse if you are open to it. That bond, however, shouldn’t justify terrible (and often selfish) decisions.

[merrygoround]

[QUOTE=Laurierace;7764310]
I feel sorry for those of you who have never had one. I have been blessed to have two in my lifetime. No need to be bitter just because you are sitting on the outside however, there is still hope for you.[/QUOTE]

After a lifetime of horses, some very good horses at what they did, I too have had two heart horses. They were years apart, and totally unexpected intruders into my heart and still missed.

[2DogsFarm]

Coanteen beat me to it.
I’ll take <3 Horse, or any of its warm&fuzzy equivalents over furbaby anyday.
The latter makes me retch.

[french_fry]

[QUOTE=2DogsFarm;7764881]
Coanteen beat me to it.
I’ll take <3 Horse, or any of its warm&fuzzy equivalents over furbaby anyday.
The latter makes me retch.[/QUOTE]

Well, if we’re adding “furkid” to the mix I choose heart horse as well!

When I called to check on my cat who was at the vet’s for her spay the tech asked me, “What’s your baby’s name?” I truly didn’t mean to be rude but, “I don’t have a baby. My CAT’S name is so-and-so,” leapt from my mouth before I could stop myself! :lol:

[Pennywell_Bay]

[QUOTE=french fry;7764886]
Well, if we’re adding “furkid” to the mix I choose heart horse as well!

When I called to check on my cat who was at the vet’s for her spay the tech asked me, “What’s your baby’s name?” I truly didn’t mean to be rude but, “I don’t have a baby. My CAT’S name is so-and-so,” leapt from my mouth before I could stop myself! :lol:[/QUOTE]

seriously are you certain you even like animals? geez. The tech was just being nice. Ug.

[Alagirl]

[QUOTE=Pennywell Bay;7764902]
seriously are you certain you even like animals? geez. The tech was just being nice. Ug.[/QUOTE]

Gonna rip me a new one while you are at it, because I HATE the term ‘pet parent’?!

[french_fry]

[QUOTE=Pennywell Bay;7764902]
seriously are you certain you even like animals? geez. The tech was just being nice. Ug.[/QUOTE]

Right, which is why I prefaced my comment by acknowledging that I was rude. I was. I apologized, FWIW.

I do, however, find it extremely off-putting that the clinic has a sign that says, “Dogs are people too!” and refers to my cat as my baby. I’m allowed to be bugged by that. I keep going there because their vets are kind and competent but not the, “How’s your baby Snookums?” type. I guess their staff makes up for that!

[2DogsFarm]

“pet parent”? :disgust:

That & furkid give me oogy visions of some poor woman birthing an animal.
A la Rosemary’s Baby.

[PrimoAmor]

I’ve used the term heart horse for my late gelding. I’ve owned three horses in my short 23 years. I don’t figure there is only one ‘heart horse’ out there and I don’t feel the need to ruin my life or eat animal food to care for him or her. I was lucky to have my heart horse till the day he died and some sacrifices did come from that but nothing that left me on the street or missing meals. I also wouldn’t justify keeping a horse that were going to kill me or anyone else just because of it. I do still make decisions with my brain. However said heart horse holds a place in my heart that no other horse will. He is the main theme in many items. I have a painting that looks like him but not of either of my other boys. I have far more photos and such hung of him than either of the other two. I have a horse hair bracelet made from him but not of the other two and even though those two are still alive, if given the chance I’d rather get 5 more minutes with my heart horse than five hours with the other boys. He has been gone a year and a half and I still feel this way.

That to me is a heart horse.

[Blugal]

Thank you OP, I wholeheartedly (:lol:) agree!

[Trevelyan96]

We are arguing about the terms that people use to efficiently or colorfully describe an emotional concept? Really?

When people ask me why my 26 year old DD still lives at home, I tell them she has a 1,100 lb child that is expensive to keep. Time to get out the flamesuit. I’ve lost all credibility as an intelligent life form.

People actually get worked up about the terms furbaby, furkid, and hearthorse? Really?

I have dogs, cats, and horses. Rico is ‘the love of my life’. The oldest and only male cat has been promoted from ‘the prince’ to ‘the king’ since his mother, ‘the queen’ passed away. I’m the dog’s ‘mom’. I allocate financial and time resources with the pets needs fairly high on the priority list. Yup, I’m an irrelevant moron with no judgement.

[UlysMom]

I, honest to God, have no idea why this is even a thing. I guess in my world there are just more important things to worry about. All y’all can feel however you want. How about instead of ripping each other apart for something so incredibly asinine, we just all go out and ride our horses, both the heart and heartless ones. Peace.

[right_horse_at_the_right_time]

duplicate sorry

[netg]

I certainly can agree with the farting rainbows and butterflies type of overwrought ridiculous being no excuse for not behaving like an intelligent being. I chalk that up to stupidity and not being an intelligent being when people do the really stupid things.

I’m an engineer. More artsy/emotional than most, but definitely an engineer. I got my first horse 29 years ago. I admit thinking “heart horse” was made up by people as a reason to be dramatic before I saw someone else with one.

I explain it to my non-horsey friends (including why horse people are willing to buy/sell) as horses are herd animals, not pack animals - so their bonds tend to go as far as the situation where they feel safe and comfortable. I have loved every horse I’ve had and been very attached, just not in the way I am attached to my dogs who I do believe love me. However, every once in a while you get that same kind of bond with a horse.

I didn’t expect that when I got my TB. He’s a total pain in the butt, yet hilarious and brings me joy constantly. The other day he was in full on bronc mode, and all I could do is laugh at what a goober he was being just because a hurricane was headed our way. With other horses, it’s more annoying. If he weren’t my heart horse, I wouldn’t have grown as much as a rider as I have, and probably would have sold him instead. I have three other horses I also love. He’s just… different. The idea of anything happening to him makes me cry, the idea of anyone else losing their horse makes me cry because I relate to how I would feel if I lost him, and I bought horse property and designed facilities to ensure I could keep him into his retirement.

I can’t explain what a true heart horse is, but it’s not “I just love him so much!” It’s something different. I think I’ve referred to him as my horsey soulmate because there’s something which stirs me to the depths of my being, beyond what any other horse ever has.

Interestingly, my 4 year old is actually on the verge of joining him there. Which shocks me a bit, as I didn’t expect another horse to matter THAT MUCH for many years, no matter that I love her and think she’s awesome.

With both my horses who are or are close to being heart horses there’s that aspect of choosing me, too, as others have mentioned. I had people tell me they didn’t recognize my gelding just because of the change in his facial expression and demeanor which was almost instantaneous. He’d had other people try him out who were FAR more skilled than I am as a rider and after some period of time made it clear each one was NOT someone he wanted to deal with regularly. He did enjoy working with my former trainer, but even with her there was just a difference in his attitude. It is hard to put into words, and something which is just different if you really have it.

[right_horse_at_the_right_time]

Let me share how my heart horse and finances did cross paths and I had to make a decision.

I leased him “just for the summer” a couple of years ago. I had leased before and when the lease ended, it ended. I’m also a huge animal lover but I know my limitations - I don’t have a farm and I can’t do rescue any more because they would never leave.

I didn’t even want to try him - I was fine with the other horses they had put me on to try. She made me try him. I rode him…and I thought he would be a fun match for me. Kind to me, well above my level but seemed to be a kind horse who didn’t take advantage that day or the next day that I tried him. Really, really adorable, too. So everyone agreed he was the one for me to lease. Fast forward two weeks and I found myself completely enamored, smitten, whatever you want to say. I groomed him for hours and found myself hanging out with him whenever I had a free moment.

My friends quickly picked up on this and tried to bring me back to the typically practical person that I am, asking me how I was going to end this and if not, how I was going to keep him. The summer was coming to an end and I, a huge planner, was refusing to plan anything. I wanted to enjoy every single moment with him without worrying about saying goodbye, because I knew I could not afford to buy him, and besides, I wasn’t looking for a horse. I was living in the moment for sure.

A few key people in my life quietly made the suggestion that not only was I not planning, which wasn’t very smart, but that I was not in a position NOT to have him. My sister even offered me her incredible, fancy, young, etc. horse who was worth, financially, far more than my horse, and whom I never could have afforded either. But she said that she knew it wasn’t just having “a horse,” but THIS horse, my horse.

So I borrowed some from myself from long term investments, wiped out my readily available savings, and here I sit, a couple of years later, having not regretted that decision for even one MOMENT.

So call me stupid for turning down a free, expensive, extremely talented horse, for one who was not free at all, and I’m sure they laughed all the way to the bank, but he’s worth far more to me than I paid for him.

So that’s how money made me make a decision (that I will not label stupid) because he is my heart horse. There’s no question - absolutely NO question - that I’m his person and he’s my heart horse. I wasn’t looking for A Horse, or for ANY horse, but when This Horse and I found each other, well, that was it.

It doesn’t mean that I look down on anyone else. It just means that I know how incredibly lucky I am. He came along for me and I for him at the exact time we needed each other. It’s pretty cool that my COTH name is RHRT: not just right horse at the right time, but “our heart.” I didn’t plan the “our heart” part of it.

[sascha]

[QUOTE=Epona142;7764761]
Aren’t there more important things to get worked up over besides what someone uses to describe a bond between themselves and an animal?[/QUOTE]

Yup, and if we did them all the time and never allowed ourselves to enjoy petty frivolities like the nuances of language to describe a special relationship with a horse, maybe the world would change for the better quicker … or maybe we’d just all wear ourselves out prematurely and become bitter, wizened up lumps of dung, just soggy enough to be useless to keep a fire burning.

Think of this discussion as the panties versus underwear discussion of the horse world.