i don’t think that’s gonna happen…
look, I understood what you were/are saying and where you’re coming from. I also think people are being overly harsh on you, on purpose. Deliberately twisting your words to suit their level of offense… Whatever. I would just quietly back away from the keyboard…
This has been a super interesting discussion and I for one have found myself more open to certain definitions of the term “heart horse.”
I see no reason to shut it all down because a few posters are getting their panties in a bunch and trying to make me (and the people who have voiced agreement with me) feel as personally offended as they were by my OP (which, for the record, did not go as far as to tell anyone that their SO should leave them :eek::lol:)
There are definitely quite a few on here that are taking this personally… I have seen it pop up on my Facebook already. As long as you don’t mind, 
let the good times roll!
I currently have one of these “heart” horses. Likewise, I have HAD a “heart” dog. Here is the perspective I have on the difference between a “heart” horse/dog vs. a “non-heart” horse/dog…If God said to me right this moment “if you could only have one dog that would live and be by your side until you draw your last breath - which one would you choose?” I would answer that with my beloved, deceased Labrador “Parker”. Even though I dearly love my current dog, I would trade him in a heartbeat for dear old Parker. THAT is a heart dog. Likewise, if God only allowed me one horse for the rest of my life, it would be one of my current ones (Bogey).
[QUOTE=Laurierace;7764310]
I feel sorry for those of you who have never had one. I have been blessed to have two in my lifetime. No need to be bitter just because you are sitting on the outside however, there is still hope for you.[/QUOTE]
Agreed. If you’ve never had one, you’ll never understand. I have owned horses for 35 years. I’ve had two “heart horses”…a mare and her son. I love all of my horses (and I have several) but those two will always be special.
The mare and I had a bond from the moment she was born. I had her for 33 years, long after her show career was over.
I’ve never put myself in financial straits for any of my animals (at least no more so than most people).
It’s similar to how you can love people; you can love them all, but in different ways.
I’m still with you OP… I was thinking about the same things the other day while I was riding. “I like this horse, I enjoy him, I like the new one, I enjoy him, I could see myself really bonding with any of these, wonder how things will look in a few years. Wow it’s been 10 years since that other horse, he was great too. It’s cool that I’m able to enjoy all these horses but I’ll always be outgrowing/outliving them.” And the ones I didn’t enjoy I moved on from. Another COTHer that I know IRL gave me great advice on that once, that I wasn’t obligated to stick with a horse that wasn’t working out - it was incredibly freeing.
(I’d find another SO too… eventually! In the meantime I’ll start with “I like this one, I enjoy him” ;))
I’ve managed to stay out of this thread so far - but it is interesting what some people’s comments tell about that person, and a review of the ‘thumbs ups’ tells almost as much.
Laurierace has said most of what I was thinking way better than I could, and taken the flack for it too!
While I think the term “heart horse” is a bit juvenile, if you have ever had that connection with a horse, not just one that wins the ribbons, you WILL know what it means. A horse who seems to read your mind, who will go through fire if you ask.
No, one does not get that more than once or twice in a lifetime. You have to have experienced it to understand.
I’ve seen it in others, and in kids and their ponies, too…
I think discussions like this are good for opening people’s eyes on both sides. Maybe those who over use it will think twice before doing so again, and maybe those who hate it will, like you, be more open to the term if used correctly.
Also, I agree with your post that those saying if your SO died that it’s okay to move on and that no one is saying that makes them replaceable. You don’t rewrite old chapters, it just means you are free to write new ones. The book doesn’t end.
[QUOTE=french fry;7765154]
This has been a super interesting discussion and I for one have found myself more open to certain definitions of the term “heart horse.”
I see no reason to shut it all down because a few posters are getting their panties in a bunch and trying to make me (and the people who have voiced agreement with me) feel as personally offended as they were by my OP (which, for the record, did not go as far as to tell anyone that their SO should leave them :eek::lol:)[/QUOTE]
I should maybe add a little. It’s mostly the term “heart horse” that bothers me, followed by its overuse, then inappropriate behaviour based on the term. Not the actual fact of whether a horse & human have an extraordinary relationship.
[QUOTE=Alagirl;7764908]
Gonna rip me a new one while you are at it, because I HATE the term ‘pet parent’?![/QUOTE]
I HATE that!! Those commercials drive me bonkers. I also dislike furkid, furbaby, etc. Humans do not beget animals.
While I would never use the term “heart horse” in a sentence as it pertains to me and mine, (mostly because I’m not one to talk about my “feelers” lol) I truly understand the feeling.
I think the best description of the trigger for this thread was the poster who likened “heart horse” to “rescue”. Or why not roll “he was abused” in with rescue. I could probably think of others if I tried. All those things that are frequently coupled with excuses, rationalizations and extravagances.
Put another way, if the only time we ever saw “heart horse” was in sentences like “I had to put my heart horse down today” I bet this thread never would’ve been started.
That could be an interesting thread because there are many that want to tell you all about how they “rescued” their animal from dire situations, whether they did or not. My favorite (not) is “I rescued him from the track”.
Back to your regularly scheduled thread…
[QUOTE=LauraKY;7765124]
Maybe she’s never lost anyone she really loves. That’s what it takes to really get it.[/QUOTE]
Not so. My son died in a car accident and my Dad died just a few months ago. But I’m one of those who agrees with the OP.
Are you going to suggest now that I must not have really loved my son or my father? Because that’s the way this crazy discussion seems to be going.
[QUOTE=NoSuchPerson;7765244]
Not so. My son died in a car accident and my Dad died just a few months ago. But I’m one of those who agrees with the OP.
Are you going to suggest now that I must not have really loved my son or my father? Because that’s the way this crazy discussion seems to be going.[/QUOTE]
No, not at all. Losing a loved one changes us all, in one way or another. That’s all. There’s no right way to live or love or grieve. We all do it in our own way.
[QUOTE=french fry;7764227]
I can’t even articulate how many face palms the phrase “heart horse” inspires in me. Particularly since it’s almost always used to imbue extra emphasis on the specialness of your situation or lend credence to a terrible decision, i.e. “I’m eating cat food and racking up credit card debt to pay for my heart horse, but it’s all worth it because (rainbow sparkly heart emojis) HEART HORSE.” Or, “My trainer said he’s going to kill me one day but I won’t give up on him because (insert Black Stallion fantasy emoji here) HE’S MY HEART HORSE.”
“Well, that (terrible decision I made) was different because he was my heart horse.”
Just stop it. We humans have a pretty unlimited capacity for love. There will be another one and you will love him/her. Otherwise, what’s the point of being in horses at all?
Mean old hag of COTH, over and out![/QUOTE]
Seconded. Makes my leathery Puritan skin crawl, too.
There is much on COTH (not to mention Yahoo) I find cloyingly sentimental, juvenile, or just plain over the top. But the thing to remember is that you are seeing representative samples of at least 5 regional “cultures” here; with various degrees of emoting considered the norm.
I once had a horse with whom I shared the adventures, tribulations, and changes of 21 years; we fought, bled, and got scared together over the event courses of three states for much of that time. We were each the missing half of the other’s soul, but had I ever referred to him as “heart horse,” he would have bitten me in the ass and dumped me into the water trough. Quite properly! :lol:
[QUOTE=Windsor1;7764496]
For what it’s worth, I’ve never interpreted “heart horse” that way. Just “this horse is especially dear to me, more so than most/all of the others I’ve known.”
I really don’t see the BFD with using a short form of that very long sentence.[/QUOTE]
This exactly. Times a million.
It’s a real thing. I’ve been lucky enough to have one… and unlucky enough to lose one WAY before his time…
Mine was not the best horse I’ve owned. Quality wise, or “fit” wise… That is the horse I own now, hands down. And I like this boy a whole lot, too. But there was something about that ornery SOB that just spoke to a part of my soul. He was cranky, ornery, TOUGH, and had the most wicked sense of humor. outright LOST me way more classes than he won. But that sucker was under my skin in a big way, and I’m pretty sure it was the same with him as he much preferred my company to that of other horses…
It doesn’t have anything at all to do with your relationship anybody else’s horse- the person suggesting this just has a bug up their behind and maybe needs some larger challenges in their life if they have time to be that annoyed by this.
It is an odd term. But I guess if you didn’t really like your other horse and the next one made you fall in love, then I sort of get it. I have been fortunate to own numerous horses, dogs, cats and various other species during my long life. They were all special, kept them and loved them all till they were in the ground, cried when I had to let them go and still miss them every day. They were all magical to me. I guess you can feel sorry for me that I didn’t have a heart horse, but then again don’t. I loved them all equally and wouldn’t have traded one for another. Now I have a new horse and I’m madly in love with her. She’s just as great as the others in her own way. Guess I’m just lucky that way.
I used to think this ’ heart horse’ thing was ridiculous. Then after decades of owning and dealing with many, many horses I have one. I’ve always been attached to my horses to a greater or lesser degree but I am filled with happiness every morning when I see his face. It’s ridiculous and a totally novel experience.
It has nothing to do with possession either. I have this same reaction to one of the weanlings. I didn’t breed her. I don’t own her. I have nothing to do with her. I love to see her little face each day and am attached to her in a way that is out of the ordinary.
Having said all that, I really dislike the term.
Why? I haven’t got a clue. It does make me think of the whole ‘black stallion syndrome’ thing.
I think it’s a figure of speach. Nothing more and nothing less. Someone else’s choice that’s different then mine.
The world is made up of different ways to express ourselves. As it should be.
[QUOTE=NoSuchPerson;7765244]
Not so. My son died in a car accident and my Dad died just a few months ago. But I’m one of those who agrees with the OP.
Are you going to suggest now that I must not have really loved my son or my father? Because that’s the way this crazy discussion seems to be going.[/QUOTE]
My condolences, if required.
Live long and prosper. \//
As we here on Earth are Humans’ and do have emotions why do your flaunt you ability to move on without regret or a sense of loss? Illogical though it may be.
[QUOTE=Mali;7765184]
If God said to me right this moment “if you could only have one dog that would live and be by your side until you draw your last breath - which one would you choose?” [/QUOTE]
I find this a bit sad. Yes, it’s a hypothetical situation, especially to those of us who are non-believers, but I find it kind of distasteful to think of exchanging a current life for a life lived and passed. For me, memories are enough, the importance of taking care of the current life would always outweigh the choice of being able to back pedal and have the previous animal back in my life.
That said, if I could clone my first horse (not at the expense of any current horses, lifestyle, etc.), would I? You betchya!
Someone else said something about appropriate grieving/mourning times for pets. That’s very, very personal. I just lost a cat of 17 years, and a year ago another 17 year old and a 6 year old. (heart, spine cancer, and spine cancer) If I could comfortably afford (hullo horse? you are expensive! lol) I’d now bring another 1-3 into my home. Thankfully, the remaining 8 year old is adjusting really well so I don’t have to break the bank at the moment, but I’d get him a new sibling in a heart beat if he were lonely.
I also would have ‘replaced’ the 2 spine cancer boys immediately if Olde Cat hadn’t had a lifelong dream of being an only cat.
Even horse wise, I hadn’t owned a horse for many years and finally bought one a couple of years ago. 4 or 5 months later I was putting him down due to Wobblers. I was very, very upset. He was a lovely, lovely horse. And you know, as soon as he was gone, I went looking for cheap or free because a) I didn’t want to spend time without a horse of my own again, and b) there are way too many horses that need loving homes and jobs to occupy their minds.
Mourning and grieving don’t have to shut down your love. Love can overlap the mourning period. Judging someone for not taking what in your mind is an acceptable period to grieve is unfair and a bit narrow minded.
And yes, to answer the question that will likely come up from my callous opinions, I have had what some might refer to as ‘heart’ animals. I would never ask for either of them back at the expense of my current pets.
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