Struggling With Career Choice

Horses have always been my passion. I grew up riding and have been working in barns since I was 14yo in order to be able to afford lessons. Because of financial reasons, I was only ever able to go to a handful of shows in my junior years and have a pretty much non-existent show record. Despite that, I’ve ridden (at least) hundreds of horses and do think I have some pretty solid experience. All throughout high school and college I worked at multiple barns doing freelance training rides, teaching lessons, and doing barn chores. I have been set on doing horses as a career for as long as I can remember.

After I graduated from college, I went and worked full-time at a barn as an Assistant Trainer/Rider at a high level FEI barn. It was my dream position, but the people I worked for were some of the meanest people I have ever encountered. A toxic work environment paired with not treating their horses great, and I ended up quitting after six months there. I then went on to work as an Assistant Trainer/Barn Manager for 2 years for a wonderful lower level barn where I thoroughly enjoyed my time and didn’t have to work nearly as many hours, had great pay, wonderful clients, etc. However, I felt like my huge career dreams and goals were never going to be accomplished there due to the nature of the program. I moved on from there and am now here…feeling stressed about what I should do.

Obviously I want to try and continue working on someday achieving my goals, but it seems like the only way to do that is to work my way up, which I’ve been trying to do for the past 10+ years. I am burntout and feeling like the only way I’ll ever be competing and riding at the top levels is if I’d started there years ago, or if I win the lottery.

Do I just need to accept that I will have to work endless hours, make no money, have no free time to spend with my husband, family, and friends, but may have a slight chance of someday making it? Or is there another route in the equestrian industry that I should think about? (Eg. flipping horses, clipping, braiding, etc.) Or do I try and find a full-time job using my college degree that may give me the flexibility and financial freedom to enjoy horses on the side? Even though the thought of a typical 9-5 sounds excruciating.

Any advice is welcome and much appreciated! I am at a crossroads and have no idea what direction to go in.

What matters to you?

  1. Being around horses

  2. Being paid to be around horses

  3. Maxing out saddle time vs ground work and chores

  4. Thinking of yourself as a horse professional not an amateur

  5. Not working in an office

  6. Staying true to your inner 11 year old

  7. Competing at a very high level

You aren’t going to get all of these. Some are in absolute contradiction as well (like 6 and 7).

You need to prioritize what you want from horses and then think through in an adult, non-magical way, how you can get those things.

As I’m sure you’ve figured out no one gets to the top without a truckload of personal money and clearly you don’t have that.

So you need to start adulting. The world is not split into “fun with horses” and “horrible grinding job that eats me alive.” That’s your inner 11 year old talking.

Most of us on here have found professional niches that let us earn a decent income doing something we enjoy and are good at.

As you’ve also no doubt noticed people give all kinds of opportunities to juniors that they don’t give to broke 29 year olds. At this point you need to pay your own way.

I don’t think you are going to get to be a high end coach without competing high end, which you can’t afford. You can be a low level coach but that means focusing on the kiddie clients not chasing your own ribbons.

“Follow your dreams” is kind of meaningless advice unless you understand what you want and need specifically and how realistic that is.

Being a competent one horse ammie with a modest show schedule and a career you like is not the worst thing in the world. The low end horse pros I know don’t have happy lives in later life

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Definitely at a crossroads! I know two people who do high level showing: my trainer’s boss and my DD. each took one of the paths you are considering.

Trainer [actually I work with his assistant, a young woman, who suits me better --he can be draconian and forgets that I am 70+ and ride for fun --never going to the Olympics) anyway, the trainer went to Findley college for horse stuff, then took himself to AZ for 20 years where he worked with some of the biggest names in many disciplines --both English and Western. Today he supports himself (at age mid to late 50s) by judging, boarding, and training. Judging is his major source of $$ (he judged WEG a few years ago and has yearly month long judging jobs in Scottsdale and Amarillo. BUT his parents (I’ve heard) set him up in his 80 stall boarding facility after his 20 years in AZ learning the trade. In return, they continue to live in the family home and he (or his employees) take them where they need to go (80+ years old).

DD would have loved to have won the lottery and shown professionally. She didn’t. Instead she trained an upper level horse, then sold him to pay for law school. Lots of parental encouragement and facilitation there: she “got serious” at 15 and we parents did a lot of hauling to trainers and making sure she was correctly entered in the 10-15 HT she did each year. We bought her the first 3-Day horse when she was 15, then she bought the second one that she made $$ with. She is now a very successful, and very busy, lawyer --but she can afford a beautiful mare, training, lessons, and full boarding, and 5-6 HT a year on what she makes. At this time, she has no children --but she does have a supportive husband who has his own expensive hobby --clay shooting. She is supportive of his hobby too.

Who enjoys life more? I can’t say --personally, I never wanted to train or instruct or even show that much —I have a small farm, 4 horses and absolutely love every minute of my life with them --I enjoy the care as much as I do the riding --but I do ride almost every day. I take lessons to improve --just this year decided to give up fox hunting after 58 years and see what the Western world was all about. I’ve learned to rope, work cows, and am planning on showing in a Ranch Horse show May 8-12.

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Yes—but there are other routes, including those that you’ve mentioned as well as some other avenues. I became a saddle fitter for a brand and I’m very well compensated for extremely reasonable hours. I still get to spend my time with horses and feel deeply involved with the community. I love what I do and am much happier than I would be at a 9-5 or breaking my back as a trainer.

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IME very few people ‘work their way up’ the ranks. Most people I know either have a separate job or they teach and through teaching ride students’ horses. I teach (not a ton, just a few clients) and I have been offered and turned down horses to show because I just don’t have the time. If you listen to GP’s when they announce the owner of the horse most of the time the rider is not the owner.

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Working 9-5 doesn’t have to be excruciating. It can be fantastic, or pretty good, or acceptable, or meh, but tolerable. What are your other life goals? To have a family, to buy a house, to have a yard for your pets, to live next to aging parents? Those are huge things that might impact your choice. Also, this isn’t a “final choice”: you can change your path if you make a mistake. I know a woman who has been successful flipping horses, 1.10 type. But it has cost her, living on the circuit away from her young child, save weekend visits, getting up at 4:30 every day, dealing with less than friendly folks, to me this looks ridiculous. Find your not ridiculous!

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There are a lot of compromises one has to make to compete at the upper levels, e.g. FEI.

The reality to do that pretty much dictates giving up almost everything to focus on that. Every friend I have who made the team or tried to make the team had to give up their training programs, their family time, etc. to focus on competition, being seen, keeping qualifications. Their families had to accept that they were not going to be around in order to support that choice.

I can tell you of 3 friends and their trips to the top of the sport (One represented the US at the World Cup; was gunning for the Australian team; one is currently gunning for the LA 2028 team). They all did/are doing that by the grace of wealthy owners/family giving them the chance while they gave/are giving up their training businesses so they could be on the road in the US and in Europe. They all came/are coming home broke with choices to be made.

This is no different than any other athletic endeavor. If you want to be at the top, you have to commit the time and money to get there. No half answers.

Once I tried for the team and when I saw what it was going to take and how it conflicted with my ethics concerning horsemanship, I walked away. I am happy focusing on my path with my horse as an amateur who competes at the upper levels in eventing. I have no desire to be a professional. Life is too short. I love my work in medical research so it all is working.

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I agree with everything @Scribbler said.

To expand on this a bit, the variety of careers/jobs that are NOT a 9-5 grind is nearly infinite. I’ve had many different jobs over my lifetime and none of them were “typical 9-5.”

I have found throughout my life that I meet people who have jobs that make me say, “That’s a real job? I didn’t know that was a job that even existed. Why didn’t I know I could have gotten a job doing that?”

I’ll also tell you why I did not pursue a career in the horse industry despite having a resume that would have allowed me to do so and living in an area where I could easily have done so. It was because while I was in college and working in horse industry jobs, I looked around at all the women I was working with and saw my future: 30-something years old, driving an old truck, living with roommates, nursing old horse-related injuries, and with no significant savings. The only ones doing well were the ones who were married to men with “real” jobs who paid all the bills. I decided I was way better off pursuing a career and doing horses as a hobby and I have never regretted that decision.

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The odds of being able to do this sort of job successfully as the head trainer are much, much better than ever reaching a high level show career, especially without a high level showing background.

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FWIW, “making it” in the horse industry is not generally a fair reward for hard work, merit, or talent. Such a big part of achieving success and making a name for yourself in the industry involves having money to start with. Money to be able to ride competitive horses at recognized competitions, money to own to rent a facility to work out of, and money to live off of while you are working on making your name.

I can’t tell you what to do, but riding and training horses is not a great career path. It’s badly paid, requires long hours, and also is dangerous. The trainers I know that are successful and happy long term have other sources of income that allow them to pursue riding and training as a business while the other source of income actually pays the bills and allows them not to work ridiculously long hours at the barn.

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Thank you everyone for your input! I am definitely not closed off to going down a different career path and doing horses as a hobby, but I guess I am also not sure how to do so. Since horses has been all I’ve ever known, I don’t have any experience doing anything else. The only saving grace is that I have a business degree, but other than that, my resume is 100% horse related.

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Yes. I did something similar to you after college. Started as a working student, ended up as a barn manager/rider for a GP rider. A month or so in we hired a new assistant trainer who had been in the industry for years, and the first night we went out to dinner she asked me to spot her because she hadn’t gotten her paycheck yet. That was a wake up call to me - I needed that to not be me in 20 years.

Another was a fall I had. It wasn’t bad, and I was fine. But what if I hadn’t been? My job wasn’t giving me insurance. They wouldn’t pay me disability. What would I have done? I was 21-22 at the time and it was really eye opening. And these were good jobs. I had housing, I was treated well, I was paid well for someone just starting out and with my level of experience.

I left, went to law school, and a few years into my career bought myself a lovely jumper. Going to the barn is fun and relaxing and riding isn’t a job requirement. I have job security, insurance, a 401k, and paid time off. I sit in air conditioning the summer and heat in the winter. I don’t work 16+ hour days or have to stay up all night trying to keep a colicking horse alive. I get two whole days off a week!

And I keep the good parts. I get to ride, I get to compete, I get to be in the barn 4-5 times a week. I can sit in my horse’s stall for an hour if I want to and no one else at the barn needs my attention. There are absolutely days where I miss having 5+ horses to rides. Where I miss being at the barn every single day, all day. Where I miss living and breathing horses. Where I miss the community and the connections I made. But I know I made the right decision for me.

No one can say what the right decision is for you. I will say, there are a lot of non-horse jobs out there that aren’t a typical 9-5. Especially post COVID there is so much more flexibility. So if you’re looking at it as the only other alternative being a 9-5, I think you’re limiting yourself. I’ve seen a lot of people in similar situations end up in corporate (or corporate adjacent) jobs that are still connected to the equine industry. Someone I used to work with now is a real estate agent, using her connections to focus on equine properties. Another works for Marshall & Sterling. Or writes for the Chronicle. Or works for USEF. Or works for Farmvet as a brand rep. Or works for a saddle brand and is a certified fitter. The list goes on.

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Don’t dismiss your horse experience. Instead, look at your transferable skills: great work ethic, excellent observation skills, willing to take on responsibility, solid time management, good communication skills… The historic origin of the word “management” is training and riding a horse with skill in the manage.

It might be worth finding a Life Coach, a neutral outsider, who can help you identify and define what you want to do and what you can bring to any future employment.

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since you are new here I will simply add that you have received advice from solid, board members who are well versed in the horse journey.

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One part of life dedicated to be trainer or rider at the top that is rarely mentioned is that your life will also be, on your free time from the horses, to cater to your clients and sponsors.
They expect you to entertain them, talk about “their” horses, is why they have them and put them with you, for the lifestyle of the higher end horse owner.
They hope to get a deserved VIP first in line from you at the shows, etc.
All those evening social hours, parties, enjoyable if you are into it to unwind and like it, is a nice perk of the job, not so much if you like some time for yourself, maybe your family.
You are managing the horses AND their connections at the top of the game, is a lifestyle.

I too was aiming for that elusive top, riding with top trainers, when I quickly realized I was not interested in that life at the top and changed my goals, the lower levels looked interesting enough for what I wanted from horses.

With horses, you can’t ever know enough, while you are debating with yourself, once you decide maybe striding for that particular top is not where you want to go, why not also try other venues if you have not yet?
Look into breeding farms, racing, western, some of that may have a side line to other life paths that appeal to you, you never know if you don’t know what is out there.

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I started out post high school with my own training business (that I actually started while in HS). I had decided that was what I was going to do. It was lower level, schooling shows and starting young horses, but I was my own boss and I loved it. I worked part time as a vet tech for the experience (and the discount :rofl:) and spent a season at WEF grooming and riding for a private owner with her own barn in Grand Prix Village, all for furthering my goal of training/riding at the upper levels.

One day I tacked her horse up, rode it to the showgrounds, warmed it up, and she showed up on her golf cart. She hopped on, I cleaned off her boots, she jumped 3 fences, and went in the ring. That was the day I realized that I wanted to have enough money to train for fun and not have to work 6 days a week, despite that being the best job I’ve ever had (well paid, treated well, excellent boss and even better horses).

I came back home and started a job as a paralegal, and eventually started college at night and online with the goal of going to law school. Halfway through undergrad I moved across the country and found out that I could make more money in tech without the law school debt so I switched to that. It was a grind for sure, but in a different, exciting way compared to the 12 hour days of training.

When I was laid off from my tech job, I decided to “ride a little bit” while I was interviewing for another tech job. A month later I had 3 riding/teaching jobs at 3 different barns and was working 7 days a week. Since getting back to training was always the goal, I decided to put tech on the back burner and invest my time back into horses. Six years later and I have two training facilities and I’m still growing. I just turned 40.

My point with this long winded post is that you can change your mind as many times as you want. If you need to take a step back from the horses now, that’s ok, they will be there when you get back. What else do you enjoy doing? I love law so being a paralegal was an easy choice. I also loved my time in tech and in film production. The more things you can add you your resume, the more choices you have to “fall back on” if you need them.

Am I showing at FEI now? Absolutely not. But I have incredible clients that are bringing me super nice horses and I’ve created a business that is thriving in my area because of my expertise. If you can figure out what you’re really good at (flipping horses, bringing young ones up the ranks, starting young horses, rehab/fitness), the grind isn’t that bad, and the quicker you can work for yourself (maybe with your husband pulling some extra weight while you get your business off the ground), the easier the job becomes. I’m incredibly envious of friends of mine that work at big barns and are given endless 1.20m+ horses to show every week, but they still have someone else calling the shots. For me, building my own program and developing horses the way I want to is more important than the show experience.

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I’ve had a very similar trajectory to Rel6, am now a lawyer after working for a few years at a barn after college. While yes, it’s hard walking into the office on a beautiful sunny day, I also never panic about having to pay my horses’ expenses the way I did then. At one point, I broke my leg and couldn’t work at either at the barn or the bartending gig I also had for approximately three months, and had no money in reserve to cover the time off. I remember crying in the barn aisle because I didn’t know how I was going to pay for my horse’s teeth to be done. I couldn’t afford to show at all, let alone at the level I wanted.

I am now in a situation where I am unfortunately paying $$$ in vet bills and fancy diagnostics for my lovely young horse with a probable neck issue. It sucks sooooo much (I worked ages to save up for him, he was supposed to finally be my first “real” horse) but my lawyer job allows me to afford appropriate care for him without having to eat ramen at every meal - and will allow me to put him back in full training when he is hopefully sound again.

I will also say there is a definite hierarchy in the horse world and a marked difference in how you get treated as a client with a bit of money as opposed to barn staff. The industry is full of hardworking young women that don’t come from money that are treated as fungible - there’s always another one to hire. The people whose lives I envy in the horse world all have financial backing and grew up riding at a high level - their parents typically own their farms and nice horses.

I had an interesting moment at the barn a few weeks ago when someone asked me if I was working for my trainer. When I said, no I’m a client and this is my horse, she apologized to me repeatedly, and then separately told my trainer how embarrassed and sorry she was for the mistake, like she thought it was an insult to suggest I was the help. I thought it was a bit sad but telling, and am glad to be on the client end of things. You have to figure out what your priorities are and what makes sense for you, but I don’t regret the choice I made.

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You have a college degree, use it and get a well paying professional job that affords you the ability to own and compete as an amateur. You can still strive to compete at a higher level. I see so many posts or stories of professionals in middle age or older with no savings/401K/medical insurance/PTO, its really sad. When you are just starting out everything seems possible but as you age you will become more realistic about your future. In fact COTH just recently had an article about helping pros plan for their future.

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Seconding this. Getting to the highest level of anything requires some pretty intense sacrifices, horses are no different. That doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of fulfilling options in the middle.

@hunterjumper100 - setting aside the feeling that you “should” have been working your way to the top, were you otherwise happy working at the lower-level barn? If you enjoyed the work and the lifestyle, I’d try to find something like that again before you call it quits on the industry entirely. There’s a lot of good stuff happening in the middle tiers of the horse world, that’s where the vast majority of us live.

If you were unhappy for other reasons or aren’t sure if it’s sustainable long-term then yeah, finding a non-horsey job that can support horses as a hobby is also a great plan. 9-5’s don’t have to be painful, there’s a lot of variety depending on what type of work suits you. It probably won’t come with the same sense of passion that horses do but honestly that can be a perk. I love that when my job is driving me nuts I can go to the barn and completely disconnect, and similarly a bad ride won’t follow me into work the next day.

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Just because your resume is “100% horse related” doesn’t mean that you can’t get a job in a different field. I have a bachelors degree in animal science because I wanted to go to vet school, but decided my senior year that vet school was too much debt. So I got a job as a barn manager directly out of college, and hated my life for the 6 months I was there. I started applying for any job that paid better than what I was making at the barn and got hired as a student loan rep making $15/hr. I worked there for a few months, then had a friend refer me at her company. I am still at that same company working as a mortgage underwriter making triple the salary, keep my horses at home and ride as an amateur.
You just have to figure out how your skills learned in the horse world can transfer and tailor your resume to match the job description you are applying for. Like @Willesdon stated, there are transferable skills that you can list that most employers are looking for. There are a lot of resume builders out there that could help you get started.
Returning to school is also always an option, there are so many online degrees now that you can do around a full time job.

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