Struggling with contact / connection

[SuzieQNutter]

You are doing well.

You used the word pull. The hands must never pull back. They only hold and give only.

In the scenario below of not looking while someone is moving the reins have them suddenly pull and give. You should hold and give, your hands should not move back.

The horse should be wearing sidereins when you are lunged. You can not put the reins to the bit as the horse is then getting directions from two different sources.

The horse should be wearing a lunging cavesson. You attach the reins to the rings on the side of the cavesson.

[Foxtrot_s]

Where did I just recently read an article by Laura Graves addressing just this question - Dressage Today (I don’t think it was Dressage Daily), dated about 2015. Internet sleuths?

I thought it was very explanatory.

[Angela_Freda]

@BigMama1

Super proud of myself in my lunge lesson today. Forced myself to let go at the walk and just walked around with my hands on my hips while chatting with my coach. Moved on to trot and was able to do arm circles (both at once), hands on hips, hands pretending to juggle, arms out to the side and arms straight up overhead. I didn’t feel fearful or nervous at all - just amazed at how hard it is not to close my hip and tip forward without my hands!

One good old session won’t solve the problem but it’s a good start. Am going to do this a couple times a week for a few weeks until I’m really secure WTC with arms up and, ideally without stirrups at the same time either.

My horse is a super lunge horse - very safe and reliable and super easy trot to sit if you keep it on the small side. Only problem is his “emergency brake” - if you do something that feels unbalanced innth saddle like posting “up up down” or you lean forward he worries that you’re going to fall and comes to a dead stop. It’s very sweet.

on a sort of related note, what do you think of the usefulness / safety of riding with sidereins off the lunge but under supervision? 20 years ago we always taught novice riders this way. It gave them more control of the horse while teaching them to have quiet, subtle hands and make changes through their seat and legs. I never see this done anymore but think it might help be get that feeling I’m looking for where I can forget about the front end and focus on what’s happening behind the saddle:

Do you have Jane Savoies book, That Winning Feeling?
Back in the day when I was still riding Yo, I was having trouble with canter departs… I kept leaning forward as I asked… now how can a horse do an uphill canter depart with me leaning over his withers like that?!
I just could not give it up!

So I read Janes book, and started to practice the canter departs in my head… as many times a day as I could. I imagined each step… sitting up and tall, hands over pommel, few steps of haunches in, outside leg slips back as I look up and through his ears, and lift into canter. Practice every step fof whatever you are doing… leave nothing out.
I am serious, it helped. Your brain does not know the difference between doing it and imagining doing it… if you want more good sessions like the lunge lesson you had, have them in your head, focusing on all the details…

Also what about a bucking/grab strap on your saddle?

[BigMama1]

I do have a grab strap on my saddle which solves the problem of me not using my horse’s mouth to balance, but not my desire to cling on for dear life and balance with my hands. The first lunge lesson I was a nervous wreck but the second one was a great success and really boosted my confidence. Trotting with both arms straight in the air over my head really made me sit and feel where and how deeply my seat bones should be connected with the saddle. I was able to really focus on that feeling this weekend and both rides were the best I’ve had since my fall.

It didn’t come quickly - patience is often the other roadblock to my success. I think my horse anticipates the grabbing or fidgeting and I get frustrated and want to make the connection happens quickly with my hands, rather than focusing on what his body is doing to allow it to happen.

This weekend I took my time and resisted the urge to fiddle. It took 30 minutes in the walk both days of just patiently doing circles, half halts, halt transitions, turns on the forehand and leg yields but once he settled into the contact he was solidly there and I was able to easily maintain it through walk trot and canter as long as I focused on how I was sitting and going to my leg first to make adjustments / corrections. Felt fantastic and back to where we were last summer.

Doing two more lunge lessons this week so looking forward to feeling more confident.

[Groom_amp_Taxi]

Great update, BigMama1! Keep up the good work!

[MissAriel]

Super! It sounds like you have a plan that is working - stay with it.

I was taking periodic longe lessons for a while but my trainer no longer has a good horse to use for that, and mine is too young to be a good candidate. I am hoping she finds another suitable horse so I can get back at it. They were killer lessons, but SO useful.

[BigMama1]

They are a killer! My abs are pretty strong now but sitting correctly is really showing me how tight (and sore) my hips are!

[right_horse_at_the_right_time]

Ride a different horse. Trust me. It will make a world of difference. You have to feel what the connection should be, especially after not feeling it.

[czgm7r]

Do I have a suggestion for you — last Nov. I was injured and really couldn’t sit the trot or canter --I rode in 2 point. The Chiropractor got me straighten out in July. I went to a big name trainer shortly after that knowing that I wasn’t 100% but needing a place to start. I learned a lot during that lesson. I was very frustrated at myself as things that were easy were now difficult. I was to the point of giving up with this horse and letting her just go to someone who wanted to jump. That week a webinar for Mary Wanless showed up in my Facebook feed. I took that Webinar and joined Dressage TV and it has changed the way I ride 100%. They tell you the how and why or riding. If you are on Facebook search ‘dressagetv’ – Peter Dove is the site creator( I think). I had to go completely back to the beginning but now that I understand we are gaining ground in leaps and bounds.

[BigMama1]

@czgm7r

Do I have a suggestion for you — last Nov. I was injured and really couldn’t sit the trot or canter --I rode in 2 point. The Chiropractor got me straighten out in July. I went to a big name trainer shortly after that knowing that I wasn’t 100% but needing a place to start. I learned a lot during that lesson. I was very frustrated at myself as things that were easy were now difficult. I was to the point of giving up with this horse and letting her just go to someone who wanted to jump. That week a webinar for Mary Wanless showed up in my Facebook feed. I took that Webinar and joined Dressage TV and it has changed the way I ride 100%. They tell you the how and why or riding. If you are on Facebook search ‘dressagetv’ – Peter Dove is the site creator( I think). I had to go completely back to the beginning but now that I understand we are gaining ground in leaps and bounds.

I love Mary Wanless! Going back to the beginning is often the answer, in my experience.