Hi! This is my first post here, and I’m looking for some advice. I bought my first horse last Spring, and at the time I thought he was everything I wanted. He needed a bit of work, but nothing I couldn’t handle. As time has gone on, I’ve been getting more and more frustrated with him. He’s fine to catch, stands nicely in cross-ties to be groomed and saddled, but then as soon as I get the bridle out he throws his head and is fighting me. It’s like a game to him, and he can be very dominant (coming into my space, stepping on feet, etc). I’ve worked with him on standing to mount, but then when I ride I feel like that’s a constant fight - half the time I can’t even get him to stop on Whoa (deep seat, pulling back on reins…when I do a one-rein stop he ends up walking in circles). I feel like I’ve tried so many things to make this relationship work, but I just think that he will always want to be dominant and I hate the constant correcting and fighting with him. I just want a kind, calm horse that I can take out on the trail and enjoy relaxing with. I decided recently to sell him, and then of course I went out to the barn and he was a perfect angel. We’ve had some lessons and training, and have made some progress, but I just don’t know if he’ll ever be the horse I want. He throws tantrums when I try to get him into the trailer, and he would run me over without a second thought. The thought of selling him makes me so emotional and sad, but I feel like it’s what’s best for both of us. The other thing is that I want to make sure he has a good home. People at the barn are guilting me about it, but others say it’s time and I need to do what’s best for me…but I feel like I don’t even know what that is anymore. I’m sorry this post is so all over the place, I just have been an emotional wreck over this and would really appreciate some guidance!
This is supposed to be fun! Fun, and safe. It sounds like you’re miserable.
There’s no shame in moving on from a partnership that’s not working. I sold a horse that I didn’t enjoy or trust (after I ended up in the ER when he dumped me in the mountains) and will never forget the relief I felt. I bought another horse much better suited to my personality and preferences, and it was the best decision. The man who bought him says he’s the best horse he’s ever owned, confirming my decision because I thought he was the worst horse I’d ever owned.
You’re unhappy. He’s unhappy. Make a change.
Sell. Ask your most trusted trainer for advice how to market him.
Honestly I’ve seen enough good enough horses sold to beginners and develop bad habits that are related to the gaps in the new owners skill set.
Horse may well be perfectly fine for other people. Find that person. It isn’t you.
Yes, newbies can vastly improve their skill sets over time but the problem is that it’s hard to develop skills with a horse that is really too much for you. Plus the horse has your number and knows what works.
I would hand him over to a trainer to put a bit of saddle time on him and then sell him for a consignment fee.
If you want another horse put yourself in a more closely supervised lesson and training program for the first year.
Are you working with a trainer regularly? I would start there to see if these problems can be resolved with the help of a trainer. Many times it is worth the investment in not just training for the horse, but also lessons for the owner.
Yes, riding and owning a horse are supposed to be enjoyable and fun. BUT, there is work involved with any horse and getting that relationship where it needs to be. It sounds like this horse is taking advantage of you, and any horse is susceptible to trying that. My fear would be it would happen with your next horse as well.
It will happen with the next horse unless OP is in a training program for at least the first year.
My suggestion was sell horse that has been taught bad behavior by the OP. Let a trainer sort it out and sell it.
Then start fresh in a supported situation where you won’t be getting into as much trouble with the basics.
Sell the horse and stick with lessons until you can afford a horse AND a lesson program. Don’t let people guilt you out of selling.
Well, just think how many out there sell their horses, even their well loved horses, when their situation changes?
That is how you could buy your horse, someone else decided to let him go to the next rider.
There are few people that raise, train and ride a horse all their lives and the horse dies at their place.
Is realistic to think that most horses will have several different homes, owners and riders over their lifetime.
Only you know if now is time for your horse, well loved, to go on with it’s life with someone else to love.
If you still want to have a horse, look for a more suitable one you can enjoy than one with the problems that one, well loved and all, is bringing to your situation.
Once you find a horse that you really click with, more than just love it, you may decide to keep that one for as long as that works for both of you.
Just think, if no one moved on to a more suitable horse and let others have a chance at their horse, there would not be horses to buy for those that are looking for one.
Don’t let anyone quilt trip you about this. If it’s not the right fit, it’s not the right fit. You’ve given it a solid shot and if it’s still not feeling right, there is no shame in finding your horse a new home and finding one that clicks with you. It’s not always about ability either, no matter what anyone says.
Sometimes it’s a personality thing. I’ve seen horses that are a pain with one experienced rider and then a perfect gentleman with another. It just depends, but we ride and have horses to have fun and love it. Please don’t feel bad about following your gut and doing what feels right for you. It’s probably in the best interest of you and the horse if you find it a new loving home with someone who is a better fit with that specific horse. Good luck!
