stuck :/

[cb161]

hey guys!

I’m not really sure what to do and I’m hoping that some more experienced horse people would have some advice for me. I’ve been riding for a very long time (I think around 15 years), but I feel so stuck where I am in my riding. I feel like I haven’t improved since I was 14, and it didn’t really bother me because I wasn’t riding that often up until recently. But now it’s starting to become really frustrating. I can’t imagine my life without horses but I’m just not getting better, even after months of being in the saddle consistently, and it’s so frustrating to watch myself make the same mistakes over and over again. I’m just wondering what I should do, because whatever’s going on now is not working.

I grew up riding during the summers at a really serious HJ barn, but I was shunted off to the side for years after my first trainer left and was replaced with someone who I couldn’t afford to ride with. I didn’t have the money to lease a horse, and was told in so many words that I couldn’t progress beyond jumping 2’ without a horse and I wasn’t good enough or consistent enough to be able to catch ride, or to be lent a horse. I was given up on, not intentionally, but because I didn’t have the money to be serious. I kept riding, even if I didn’t really jump all that much and I didn’t let it bother me because I felt like I was a good rider.

I’m lucky enough to live somewhere now where riding is much more affordable, so it’s in the realm of possibility for me to lease or even buy my own horse, go to shows, whatever. I really like my trainer right now (particularly because she’s so consistent and actually cares about me, which is not something I got as a kid), but I still feel like I’m not improving. I’ve been riding consistently for two years, and have been riding 2x a week for about 2 months, but I feel worse off than I was at 14 - I used to be able to really get a connection with the horse, and do leg yields and all sorts of stuff on crazy green horses and now I can’t sit the canter or fix my turned out toes. Part of this is transitioning from riding ponies to horses, but without any sort of improvement or working towards anything, all my lessons feel like I’m just riding in circles (literally). The horse I’m riding now can’t jump, but I don’t even know if my flatwork is good enough for it to matter.

I don’t really know what to do, or what the options are for me. I want to ride more, and spend more time at the barn, but it sucks to feel like nothing is improving and you’re not getting stronger or better. If any of you have some suggestions, I would love to hear them. Thanks so much for reading.

[danacat]

@cb161

I’ve been riding consistently for two years, and have been riding 2x a week for about 2 months.

Look at it this way: Riding 2X a week, say for an hour each time = 48 hrs in the saddle in a six month period.

Compare this to someone who rides 5 times a week = 120 hrs in the saddle.

Who do you think will improve?

You say you want to ride more and that you now live somewhere where riding is more affordable. You’re kind of answering your own question.

[LilRanger]

Have you asked your trainer these questions? She is seeing you and training you. Is she frustrated with your progress, or lack thereof?

Your comment about your toes turning out concerns me a bit. Why is this a problem? Some people just have turned out toes. I should think that is a non issue, and I have seen good riders with toes out.

Also, why are you riding a horse that can’t jump if you want to jump? What is the reasoning here? Do you work over cavaletti or poles to help you position for jumping? Do you work in two point?

If you feel you aren’t progressing, you need to change something. ONly you or your trainer will really know what needs changing. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve got.

[merrygoround]

Turning out your toes, and inability to canter indicate that there are holes in you basic position. You are using the wrong muscles and focusing on the wrong thing.

Your trainer may care about you, but even at two lessons a week you should see some progress. Not everyone is capable of explaining the mechanics of riding, AND a lot depends on the rideability of the lesson horse.

[SweetMutt]

It sounds like you’ve changed some things recently - you say you’ve been doing 2x/week for 2 months, so I assume it was once a week or less before that? That is actually not very long, though I know it can feel like eternity. You’ve only got 8 rides in this new system, which at least involves a new frequency and might also involve a new horse and a new trainer. That is not a lot, and changes like this take everyone time to adjust to. I definitely have had moments of “omg I can’t ride” amidst making big changes, and it sounds to me like you might be having one of those.

If you’re looking to lease or buy, that will also likely speed up your progress. Riding lesson horses is tough - they all have certain limitations, and we as riders consequently have limitations in what we can learn on them. Getting to pick a horse who can do what you want to do and then getting to connect with that one horse will go a long way in helping your progress.

[anotherera]

You need to RIDE! Right now, you’re just “lessoning.” Are there trails where you ride? Can you lease a horse that you’re able to take lessons on and hack out on non lesson days? There’s no substitute for saddle time, and being in that saddle 6 or 7 days a week.

[cb161]

Thanks everyone for your speedy responses :).

To answer a few questions: I was riding a LOT more over the summer (like 3-4x a week) and have actually gone down to 2 lessons per week, but I’m riding much more consistently than I did as a kid, which is probably where my frustrations come from. It used to be that I would backslide a lot over the winter but improve almost immediately when I got back in the saddle, whereas now it feels like I’m still stuck at the same level.

I’m not actually sure if I’m not getting better or if I’m just not advancing up the ‘levels’ per se: I think it’s probably a combination of both (or of what @SweetMutt said). I just transitioned into riding a 17’1" horse after a lifetime of ponies so my position problems may be coming from that, but my biggest concern is that there are fundamental muscle things that I’ve trained incorrectly and now don’t really know how to fix.

I would love to lease a horse but I think it doesn’t make sense for me to do so unless I’m riding 3+ times a week (especially if I’d be bringing one to my barn) - I’m going to definitely talk to my trainer about this and see if I can ride more.

[173north]

Think about your goals and your budget. Where would you like your riding to be in 6 months - riding 4x a week, and jumping? In a year - maybe jumping courses of a certain height, or horse showing? Then have an honest conversation with your trainer. Find a quiet time or set up a phone call and say “I’d really like to commit more to riding and improve my skills. Do you think (jumping a 2’6 course/doing a long stirrup division/going on a hunter pace off property) by (x date) is a realistic goal for me? What do we have to do to make that happen? My budget is x, I am open to a lease.”

Trust me, trainers WANT clients who are willing to emotionally and financially invest in their riding! She should be super excited to come up with a plan that works for your goals and your budget.

Then ride as much as you can! Two lessons a week is great. Would your trainer let you pay to hack/ride on your own once or twice a week as well? Is there a half-lease option so you can ride 3-4 days a week or more? Cross-training will be a big help too - yoga, pilates, Crossfit, etc.

And remember It’s very normal to have plateaus and then breakthroughs in riding, like any other sport or activity.

[AnastasiaBeaverhousen]

OP if you really love riding then dont give up.
Cut yourself some slack. As an older rider bodies just dont respond as quickly as they did when we were younger.

1. Toes out
   a) your toes turn out because that is your natural conformation and all you will do in trying to keep your toes forward is create muscle tension .

b) your toes turn out because you are turning your heels in to give the leg aid.

c) You are gripping with the back of the calf.

If you can, I would arrange a lunge lesson with your trainer and then you can work on getting the correct seat and position into your muscle memory.

That’s what saddle time is all about.

There are also some good workout routines out there for riders to do when they cant ride

How do you feel you arent improving? Is there something specific goal that you havent reached?

It is true that you will ride better if you could take more lessons, but you can still make progress if you can only take 1or 2 lessons a week. It will just be slower.

Of course, you should get with your trainer and discuss your goals and see if the both of you can come up with lesson plans that give you the best opportunity for improvement.

Good luck and happy riding.

[ParadoxFarm]

Do you have anyone that can periodically video record your lessons? Do you have any video of your rides from when you started back? It could be that you ARE improving, but you just can’t feel it, and it becomes a vicious cycle. I use video recording all the time. I can SEE what I need work on and also see what I have improved upon. Get some video!

Good luck! And try not to get too frustrated.

[Willesdon]

Talk to your trainer, explain your problem and try to work out a solution that fits your circumstances. It is perfectly possible to improve your skills with two lessons a week, riding different school horses. Indeed, with a good teacher who knows her stuff you should improve with each lesson.

You can also improve your riding by cross training, getting your body into better shape for riding. Yoga, Pilates, martial arts, running all help.

[greysfordays]

I agree that talking to your trainer and finding ways to get more overall saddle time will help. Ditto videoing. One thing I would note is in order to change the muscle memory, you have to first figure out where the weakness is, work on strength and then be really conscious about making a change.

I used to ride with my fingers really open and had stiff elbows (they’re usually related). First my trainer had me practice holding the reins with just my thumb and index finger to get that set of muscles stronger. Then we practiced driving reins to get the feeling of suppling my elbows. Then I had probably two weeks of rides, where the goal was to mentally check in at the corners and make sure my reins were short and my fingers were closed. That was truly the main goal of the ride, it didn’t really matter how anything else went and if I lost focus, I would walk, and start over. It takes CONSCIOUS thought to fix an unconscious habit and it takes time.

I’m no fan of George’s, but the idea of only perfect practice making perfect rings really true when you’re trying to fix habits.

[Scribbler]

OP, it sounds like you’ve never had a chance to ride every day for say a year, even as a kid.

All physical skills take longer to learn as an adult, and you may not have a solid enough previous foundation.

I rode almost every day from 14 to 20, usually at least 2 hours a day, up to 6 or 8 on weekends, then part time for a few years, then returned to twice weekly lessons for a few years in my 40s and then back into basically every day. I do give my horse days off, she goes best with a day off after each 4 or 5 days under saddle but I’m still at the barn for chores and ground work.

Spring/summer 2019 I rode two horses every day, one of them was an older school master.

Speaking from experience, the more saddle time you get, the faster you improve, all else being equal. Also doing varied things. I’ve spent a lot of trail ride miles locking in muscle memory for correct position, for instance, and find galloping in trails a huge confidence booster.

Anyhow, no, you aren’t going to make much progress as a owner intermediate adult returning rider on two hours a week. Put yourself in a position to ride 4 or 5 times a week, make your rides longer than an hour, do varied things.

Toe angle and many other things about position are a combination of strength and correct muscle memory and they take time to develop.

Also finally be kind to yourself. Obviously you have sadness and resentment about not getting to ride enough as a child.

But now you can. You’ve worked hard as an adult to have the time and money to do the thing you love. It is absolutely fantastic when any of us adults carve out the space to ride again. Let go of the expectations. Just give thanks every day that you have been able to find your way back to horses again.

Also be open to the journey ahead. Children tend to get slotted into whatever lesson program is local. Adults can do anything they want. I rode mostly self taught Western as a child. When I went back to lessons as an adult, it was at a hunter jumper barn. When I started leasing at a barn close to my house, the horse came with dressage lessons. I learned a lot from that, but horse isn’t particularly talented at dressage. She does love back country trail riding. I bought a pickup truck and trailer. I go horse camping. I help my coach with ground work on some of her green horses. I clicker trick trained my horse and we do little performances for kids. I found a suburban self board barn I never knew existed and my horse care is super affordable. Etc etc. This weekend I went to a mountain trail clinic. Last summer I tried cattle penning. Anyhow, my point is you can go in any direction you want, and if jumping isn’t working for you, you can try other things.

The important thing is to be having fun with horses.

I just sense in your post that you are hearing the voices of discouragement from your childhood. You just have to let them go. You are an adult now who can pay your own way. You don’t need to try to cadge catch rides or compete in some tween mean girl world to please a trainer who is doling out approval with his eye on the profit margin.

You will be welcome and a valued client at any barn that caters to adults. Any halfway decent coach will start from where you are and help you improve incrementally.

When I returned to riding as an adult, I reminded myself that I have never been a fast learner of physical skills, but that when I persevere, I can master them. I didn’t give myself any timeline, just the prerequisite that I needed to enjoy what I was doing, I needed to be safe, and I needed to keep it affordable. As long as those things were being met in my riding, I would progress at my own rate and enjoy the journey.
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[NO-CTRL]

It’s harder riding as an adult. It just is.
Our bodies aren’t as supple, we understand our own frailty, we have worries, we’ve been a lawn dart one too many times, we have injuries.

It’s also going to be very hard to progress riding 2x a week, regardless of what you did as a kid. I know if i don’t ride at least 4 times a week i ride like a total potato. You need saddle time.

[Willesdon]

Whilst it is perfectly true that you will make more progress riding more frequently than x2 per week, I repeat again that you can make progress with every lesson if you have a good person teaching you, even only riding twice a week. The mind set is to make incremental progress, setting small, achievable goals. Adults learn differently from kids and teenage peer pressure should nolonger be a concern. As Scribbler said above, there are many different ways to enjoy being on a horse.

[ottbee]

OP, I’m about a decade older than I estimate you to be and have struggled with this same sort of thing - wanted so much to ride as a kid but was a little sidelined due to no horse and no real parental support for riding. I scrabbled what I could by spending a lot of time doing stalls, sweeping, cleaning lesson tack and helping leadline the little beginner kids. But I had zero parental support for extra lessons, going to shows, and all these things that are sort of a ‘normal’ part of the teenage horse kid experience. I found it very frustrating and eventually quit trying until I returned to riding as an adult.

I totally hear what everyone is saying about the value of riding every day etc. but in order to keep the career that pays for the mortgage (and the horse activities), and be present with my family (husband and child), it’s an amazing blessing when I can even fit in 2 rides in a week. I am pretty squarely limited to being a once a week lessoner who from time to time can treat herself with a second ride per week. It is what it is, and to be honest the mentality that it’s “not enough” to progress is something that has held me back in the past. I have learned to refuse to accept that I will not progress at once a week and I choose to be grateful for the time I do get to ride.

And I am progressing!!! Actually, I think I am riding better now than I ever have and here are a few of the things I think contribute:

• I work on my core strength and my cardio endurance at home with yoga and spinning.
• I read and study and learn pretty much every day. I definitely have time to read, watch videos, etc. while I eat lunch at my desk and so I use that time.
• I really listen and pay attention at my lessons. When my trainer taught me a specific exercise he said he likes to use frequently in various situations, I came home and drew a diagram of the ring on an index card and wrote the directions and I studied that through the week! Next lesson, I had the exercise down pat so my lesson time didn’t need to be spent re-explaining it. I make the most of every minute!!!
• I have an awesome trainer who I think the world of who is very focused on building step by step, he’s very technical using dressage basics for our flatwork and he explains things very very well. Makes sure I have the foundation skill down, and then we move to the next step. And I choose in my mindset to be grateful for that rather than think “I want to jump higher I want to do this I want to achieve that!” and I treat those foundation skills as really important and work on them for their own sake and I have to tell you it is REALLY coming together. And those skills support that jumping that I want to confidently enjoy - I can feel the difference versus a year ago before this trainer. I have found so much joy in being a more ‘correct’ rider with a better seat, better hands, horse working from behind, etc.
• So, speaking of which, the trainer who is really nice to you and you have a great relationship still might not be the best trainer to help you progress right now. I do think that having a good vibe with someone is important (as a once per week lessoner, I want to enjoy my lesson ya know??), but I have had fun, nice trainers from whom I learned absolutely nothing and did not progress. I’ve had mean tough-love types who confuse being a jerk with being a good teacher, too, and I didn’t progress with them because screaming at me about missing a distance doesn’t teach me the skills to do better. I feel now that I have found the balance - a professional who teaches me extremely well and who I like as a person.

(I’m not saying failure to progress is generally the trainer’s fault! But for me, having the right person teaching me helped me progress more than the wrong person did! And what’s right for one person can be not the best for another.)

[sname1234]

I’m sorry you’re feeling down about your riding. When you really love doing something and don’t feel like you are succeeding or worse feel like you don’t have the tools or path to succeed, it can be very frustrating. Every rider has felt this way and will feel this way again, in some respect its part of the process.

Some suggestions:

1. talk to trainer about goals and how to achieve them (this is what you are paying them for so they should be willing and accommodating to have this conversation; otherwise find new trainer)
2. without comparing yourself to the others, look objectively at some riders who you admire and are riding at a level that you feel you would like to be at or should be at and ask them or observe what their journey looked like and what they work on to reach and maintain their riding goals (be somewhat reasonable or heck - shoot for the stars, ask McLain)
3. focus on making small improvements one at a time and don’t sweat the everything, it will slowly become muscle memory
4. It’s 90% a mental game (I made that up or maybe it’s true) but so much of what we can achieve can be more simply reached with having a positive mindset; check out some of Tonya Johnson’s and others work

keep at it and have fun! Good luck!