I would ride with both a few more times –
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On the positive side, looks like you have two great options!
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I will speak up for my fellow introverts - don’t assume we’re not friendly just because we didn’t say hi right away. We might just be thinking about something or we might have tried say two things at once that canceled each other out or it might just take us a little bit to work up to it or maybe we need a little help from you to kick things off. 
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Exactly! (This was non-horsey husband’s take).
If riding in the hunters or jumpers is your goal, I would take at least one lesson in which you jump (even if it’s just crossrails) with Trainer B, since she didn’t have you do any jumping. Was that because it was an evaluation lesson? Some trainers don’t have prospective new clients jump during an evaluation lesson. Obviously, flatwork lessons are very important, but I think it would be helpful to get a sense of her approach and style to fences. If you’re interested on showing or jumping a specific height, it might also be useful to ask how often Trainer B’s barn shows, and how high or how often the school horses are allowed to jump. (If it’s an older school horse, too, another reason for the lack of jumping might have been he is limited to a certain number of over fences lessons per week.)
It sounded like Trainer A wanted to see if you’d fit into a certain slot in her program, and matched well with a particular horse. Based on your description, for me personally, I prefer more flatwork and a warmup, but again, since it was an evaluation lesson, she may have wanted to put you through your paces to see what you could do.
Personality and riding instructors can be a funny thing. Some people just have a great deal to do and are always rushed and busy, but are basically good eggs. Some people seem very nice the first times you meet them, and then the crazy starts to seep out. I agree with posters who say that the upside is you seem to have two sane, competent people’s programs to choose from, which can be a rare thing.
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I would love trainer B They sound more holistic. Fixing the foundation of your riding is key for a successful jumping program. I would devote my energy to working with this trainer to get back in to riding. You may find the perfect horse situation comes along .
I think trainer B sounds like they have a good grasp on the way forward. Love that they recognize the value of a lunge lesson. Love that they really sound like they devoted effort to truly being present with you.
give them 6 months and re-address the lease situation. It may not be a horse inside the barn but if Trainer B sees your commitment it may turn into something. Trainers often know what is available through the grapevine
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This is an excellent point. I have ridden with several trainers who I liked quite well for flat instruction, but who I decidedly did not click with when the jumping started. I am both a nervous rider and I have a few more instruction style/philosophy preferences when it comes to jump instruction. Definitely worth sorting out before committing either way.
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one issue, however, is the path to developing a full assessment and program plan. If Trainer B sees you again next week and you can focus on your take away, show the improvement it will aid the assessment of your jumping skills. If your basic weakness is translating into the jumping, you might not gain a fair assessment. I think I would stick with B let them get a full feel for you skill and needs and then you can talk about a program.
Just wanted to thank you all again for your excellent advice/ input. For now, I’m continuing to lesson with both and getting more information about both programs/barns. As is often the case in life, I’ve realized that I’m struggling to make a decision because it’s premature - I need more information. And changes to my commute/work schedule post-Covid may be the deciding factor. But both trainers continue to seem great and to operate excellent (just different) programs.
Again, thank you for your input!
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Really good advice here all around. For me, I’d go with Trainer A—while I love horses and think they’re a social activity, I don’t go to the barn to makes friends, per se, with my barn mates or trainers (having said that, they’ve all ended up being friends!). I want someone who is willing to push me in my lessons, even if that means being abrupt or aggressive when I’m being a wimp, but I also recognize that that’s not what every amateur wants. I definitely think you need to get a jumping lesson under your belt with Trainer B before deciding, but given that Trainer A has a horse available right now that meets your specs, I’d jump on that.
