Tale of Two Trainers

[SadieRidingHorses]

Based on some wise advice received here, and some great recommendations received by PM, I’ve just wrapped up a search of area barns to find a program to join that’s beyond what’s offered at lesson barns. I’ve narrowed things down to two programs/ trainers. My goal in 2021 is to lease, improve my position and confidence, and work towards returning to competing. Would also love to find a good barn community. Here’s a novel about the two possible programs.

Trainer A owns and runs a beautiful, mid-sized facility that seems competition-oriented. Clientele seems to be mostly adult ammys with some teenagers mixed in. Horses and riders that I observed there were impressive; riders had solid positions, horses looked fit and healthy. My lesson was on a friendly, game school horse who is available for lease at a price I can easily afford (I’d like to lease/ride outside of lessons). The lesson was good - very jumping focused, and I felt like she pushed me. The trainer was not rude or abrasive, but also not particularly warm - I kind of wondered at the end if I was a good enough rider for her program, though social media indicates I wouldn’t be the only person at my level. I had a nice chat with one of the boarders there; other boarders didn’t say hello, but all appeared fairly focused on their horses. Trainer is reliably responsive and recommended by many here on COTH. About an hour drive from my house.

Trainer B operates another lovely facility that has the same amenities. The vibe seemed slightly less formal/intense, but things generally seemed safe and clean. I watched a couple of riders who shared the arena during my lesson; riders seemed skilled and horses looked well-schooled. Trainer B introduced me to both riders and both happily said hello and volunteered that they liked the barn. I liked the school horse a lot. Lesson was good - trainer met me as soon as I arrived and talked while I tacked up about my prior experience (and to watch me with her horse, I’m sure). We didn’t jump, but she focused a lot on my position and gave me two very specific things to work on when I ride there or at other places (told her I’m still taking lessons, trying various places). Also talked openly about the anxiety I’ve experienced returning to riding. Trainer B said at end of lesson that she thinks I could learn a lot/do a lot on school horse. Trainer B’s program seems to mostly focus on adults who already own, and there is not an immediate opportunity to lease or ride outside of lessons. But Trainer B suggested we set up a regular lesson and suggested a half lease on a boarders horse might be possible down the road. Trainer B seems to take students to some competitions but does not appear as competition focused as A. While both have a seemingly equal amount of experience, Trainer B seems to have a slighlty less-established program than Trainer A, but many loyal clients. Trainer B is very experienced, seems like a natural teacher, and recommended on COTH (many fewer recs than Trainer B fwiw but I’m not reading too much into that). Trainer B is about an hour from my house in the other direction.

I’m going to try to take a few more lessons with both, but thought I would seek advice any case anyone has helpful advice on how to choose one program over another. The truth is, I wish I could ride with both, at least for awhile. I like the idea of combining Trainer A’s more intense, organized program with a weekly, more supportive lesson from Trainer B. But I don’t really know if that’s “done” - training with two people at once. And of course, I’ll only ever lease or keep a horse at one barn.

Again, any advice appreciated. Feel free to PM.

[SadieRidingHorses]

And again, sorry for the novel. Non-horsey husband tired of hearing me talk about this.

[Redlei44]

If your priority is leasing and riding more, then it sounds like Trainer A is the way to go. They have the lease horse available now, not maybe in the future. You might actually try to take another lesson or two at both (group lessons especially) if you’re concerned about the social aspects.

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

In terms of my own personality, I’d probably prefer to ride with Trainer B. It also sounded as though you clicked a bit better on an interpersonal level with Trainer B, which is important.

The big downside is the inability to lease with Trainer B. As someone without her own horse, and currently not leasing one, I understand the issue. Truthfully, the people I’d most like to ride with tend to be smaller trainers who mainly work with clients who own their own horses. The big upside with Trainer A would be to possibly lease the horse you rode in the trial lesson and enter a very structured program with lots of riding time right away, versus Trainer B, where there is no guarantee you’ll get to lease a horse.

One possibility is to ride with Trainer B for a few months, and go back to Trainer A if it looks like the only feasible way to lease a horse is to switch programs. (And explain to Trainer B it’s for that reason.) But based on my own experience, the “maybe a lease horse will turn up someday” promise doesn’t always pan out, unless someone leaves for college/has a change in their employment situation. It doesn’t sound like Trainer B’s barn has a structured lease program, either, which means you’d have to work out an arrangement on your own with the owner.

[four2farm]

I would choose trainer B as a personal preference. It sounds like you might be happier at Trainer A. It seems like you did not feel as welcome as you wanted to, but we all know that we work ourselves into a pecking order. I felt the same at my new barn first lesson but once it was clear I was going to stay, I started getting introduced around. Now I feel very welcome. Good Luck!

[SadieRidingHorses]

Excellent point! The dynamic at either place may feel different after it becomes clear that I’m sticking around.

[suzyq]

I would go with A. Because she has a horse you can lease right now and that is what you want. I have to say, i dont chit chat with every new lesson person, but i do if they stick around for multiple lessons. So I wouldn’t let that bother me if I were you.

[endlessclimb]

Agree with all who said trainer A. To be frank, as long as no one is openly rude, you don’t need warm and fuzzy. You need a horse to ride and a trainer who will get you there. I’m sure you’ll find a couple people to socialize with - it doesn’t have to be one big happy family to be a great place to learn.

[SadieRidingHorses]

Thanks, @suzyq, appreciate that perspective!

[Libby2563]

For myself, I would choose Trainer A and the immediately-available lease on a suitable horse. However, the language you use to describe Trainer B suggests to me that you really preferred her and are trying to talk yourself into A. Since you mention some anxiety, I wonder if you’d be happier starting with the more-supportive B and if no lease becomes available after a few months, you could then switch to A (although that particular lease horse may not still be available).

I also don’t think it would be horrible to take weekly lessons with B while half-leasing and lessoning with A, if you feel like their approaches could complement each other and you have enough time for both.

[S1969]

I’d be interested in knowing more about how you felt about the actual instruction - you say Trainer B gave you two very specific things to work on? Do you agree? Did you get feedback from Trainer A as well?

I personally would choose Trainer B based on what you’ve written. But I wasn’t there.

[outerbanks77]

It might come down to your goals. It sounds like A is the one if you want to be out competing. However, you mentioned talking to B about your anxiety, and overall it sounds like you clicked with her better. Only you know how much of an issue the anxiety is, but if it’s a major concern, it sounds like B might be better suited to helping you with that. If you want to jump right into riding and competing seriously, and feel you can manage the anxiety (not sure if this is riding related fear, or performance anxiety?) when trainer A is pushing you more, then A would be the way to go. However, A is likely to push you more in future lessons, and it won’t be worth it if you think that will impact your confidence.

[trubandloki]

The fact that barn B was chatty and seemed exceptionally welcoming does not mean that barn A is not welcoming.
What I think matters here is not stuff we as readers can tell from just what you wrote.

Does both barns offer showing at the level you are interested in doing? A show oriented barn might not be going to the local, but competitive shows because they like to do rated showing - which is great if your goal is to do rated showing. A barn that rarely goes to rated shows might still show quite a bit at a more local level.

[SadieRidingHorses]

Thank you, good question about the instruction.

In Trainer A’s trial lesson, I definitely felt like I worked harder and was challenged more. She gave me some feedback on my position; I also think she was evaluating my skills/fitness. We did some flat work and then moved fairly quickly to jumping, ending in jumping over a small pattern (five fences, one line). Afterwards I felt tired, relieved to be done (new place, new horse, jumping = anxiety), but exhilarated and ready for more. I appreciated that she was trying to get a good sense of where I’m at in my riding. I can’t imagine how difficult/annoying it must be to be a trainer and field inquiries from random strangers, and try to determine if their riding ability is what they say it is. I felt challenged by the lesson and came away with at least one “tip” that I will keep in mind going forward. I did not feel like I got a TON of instruction, but like she very skillfully put me through the paces - like a personal trainer might.

Trainer B was much more nitty gritty. From the mounting block, observing my position, talking to me about how I should feel in the saddle, identifying things I should fix and how, asking me questions about things. Other than the two tips I mentioned before, she gave me two other suggestions/pieces of information that I’ll probably remember forever. We only did flatwork, with her seemingly letting me decide the intensity/length of the lesson ( so my Type A personality feels like I should have been more challenged/exhausted). At the end, she said it was clear I can ride and make a horse do things but have some things in my position that I need to fix (100 percent agree!). She suggested a lunge line lesson without stirrups or reins (I love the idea of that). She noted at the end that I could probably really do a lot with school horse/her.

Very different lessons. But both good lessons, both good trainers. Honestly, I wish I could ride with them both.

[SadieRidingHorses]

Thank you - both good suggestions. I’m considering what you suggest in the second paragraph. I’ve got time to do it at the moment, and I could communicate that plan to all involved. I just would prefer to pick one place, if that makes sense. But maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.

[SuzieQNutter]

If you can afford to ride at both. Ride at both. If it becomes a problem with being taught different things well then you will know which instructor to pick.

Really as you say both places seem to he training correctly this should not be a problem.

Just do not say things like but trainer A said do this or that. If you have a real question by all means ask but you do not have to say where you got it from.

Most people do not ride in 2 different places because they can not afford to from either not enough money or not enough time.

[SadieRidingHorses]

Thanks, excellent point. Sometimes the “family” vibe can be oppressive.

[Showbizz]

I would stay at both until it becomes clear which is the right fit. I think you can learn from both trainers, as you already are.

[SadieRidingHorses]

Thanks. This is what I’m going to do, at least for now.

Thank you all for your advice!

[SadieRidingHorses]

Thanks @SuzieQNutter, great advice all the way around.