Talk me out of buying a pony

[Draft1]

My daughter is not “horse crazy” but enjoys being at the barn. More than that, I want to entice her to spend more time with me at the barn.

She lunges on my horse, but she’s too big for her to learn horsemanship on… and frankly, I want my horse back!

The smart side of my brain tells me she’ll quickly outgrow a pony or lose interest, and I’ll be stuck with a pony (Isn’t this what happens to most ponies?). I also fight with the idea that I had to knock on barn doors and beg to clean stalls to be near horses, so I struggle with her being giving something without working for it. Being not yet 5, “work” really would only mean showing some sort of commitment to responsibility.

As I write this, it’s sadly and obviously becoming apparent this pony is for me and fulfilling some deep sadness I clearly need addressed, but boy it’s still tempting to dream of ponying with my daughter on the trail.

**edited because I wrote my own daughter’s age incorrectly!

[Montanas_Girl]

Boy have you come to the wrong place… We’re a bunch of enablers here.

But welcome!

I would try to lease a pony or small horse for your daughter. Maybe something that a 4-H or Pony Club kid has outgrown or is leaving home while they’re off to college. Preferably a “three feet in the grave” type that has no desire to move faster than a slow trot. You can end the lease/send the pony back when your daughter outgrows it or loses interest, and the pony gets an easy semi-retirement job.

[Small_Change]

Part board or lease a pony - lots of fun, maybe able to have one that would otherwise be out of your purchasing budget, and no long term commitment if it doesn’t play out how you intend.

That being said, leasing or reselling good ponies out isn’t terribly difficult if you have a good one and connections to find another rider, if you do buy one and it is either outgrown or not what you imagine for your daughter.

[2DogsFarm]

TALK ME OUT OF BUYING A PONY
Boy! Did you come to the wrong place
I’ll go 1st:
Buy DD a LARGE pony.
13h is big enough to not be too big for her, even if she’s a little kid now, & big enough for you to ride.
I’m 5’2" (shrunk from 5’4" ) ~160# & I wish my 13h Hackney Pony had been broke to ride.
Which brings me to Breed Misinformation & Prejudice.
Yes, Hackneys have a rep (well-earned) of being hot.
But I’ve known at least 2 over the span of some 30yrs that were suitable kids’ mounts.
1st may have been a cross, but looked very typey.
Bought out of a field as ~5yo, as a retraining project by the teen daughter of a riding friend. Broke as a Hunter w/the help of our then-Trainer.
He went on to become quite a winning little Large for the kid he was sold to.
2nd was my Faux Grandson’s Pony. He showed him as both Pleasure & Roadster.
Pony had the Look, not the speed for Roadster, but cleaned up in Halter & Pleasure classes for years.
This pony would stand to be harnessed, untied, facing an open doorway, until cart was brought to him.

I drove him once, in an arena & while he knew it wasn’t his regular Driver, he behaved beautifully for me.
If you can find one of these Unicorns, you’re going to pay a lot less than the pony breeds you generally see in the Hunter or WP classes.
If you’re anywhere near an Amish community, look for a School Pony.
FG’s pony now has this job, after FG changed his focus to Drafts
Amish do ride as well as drive & if you can find a pony broke for both, you & DD can share the fun.

[NancyM]

Well, sure. Why not? You will enjoy the pony, and maybe your kid will too, and the interest will grow. If it doesn’t, you sell the pony.
My mother bought me a pony when I was six. An unbroke shetland/arab cross, 3 year old. A local teenager who was a family friend attempted to break it to ride (she had never done this before). She wasn’t entirely successful. I got dumped multiple times. The pony was sold, and my mother located an OLD pony, semi retired with a history at the horse shows, when I was nine. It worked out better. But he was kinda past doing much jumping. He’d jump at home, but not a shows. Then when 11, I got THE pony, puchased from a family friend, who had just won the pony jumper class at the biggest show in our area, as a 4 year old. Had jumped 5’ at home. Truly. And that was my pony, and she was a superstar. Then, at 12, I had kinda outgrown the pony, and was riding my mother’s QH, so my next horse was a long yearling TB colt, who had gone to the yearling sale but come home “unsold”. Our race trainer friend liked him, so my Dad bought him and we brought him home. Our race trainer friend took a year breaking him, as he had time. And he was a ridgeling (cryptorchid), so that had to be dealt with. And I started riding him at the autumn of his 2 year old year when I was 13. The trainer had ridden him five times when I was legged up. I was just starting grade 8. He went to his first horse shows the following year, he was a bit of a nut. (Surprise!!!). But we perservered. He took me to the Open Jumper Divisions ten years later. This is just to let you know what to expect… it’s not just the purchase of a pony that you are looking at. Good luck! Enjoy the ride.

[KBC]

Buy the pony.

Next question.

[clanter]

@Draft1

Being not yet 6, “work” really would only mean showing some sort of commitment to responsibility.

With access to horses you never really will know just what a child can do

Our youngest daughter grew up with horses at home, one day when she was five I could not find her, all the others were out playing around in the backyard. After checking the pastures there was one of the horses missing. Going to barn to see if missing horse was there, sure enough it was in a stall with five year old “training” the horse, She had created a bitting rig out of a surcingle using a halter and lead ropes. Actually she had constructed a real bitting rig.

Ok dearie what are you going? Foxie (the horse) needed training was the response, OK where did you come up with needing a bitting rig? Response was she had seen a picture of one so she built it from stuff we had. OK. how did you get that on her (horse was actually a 14.1+ H pony) … response was I got the mounting block to use to get into her corner feeder then made her turn around to get everything on both sides… sure enough everything was where it was supposed to be,

That was at five. Today at 38 she is hauling her dressage horse to her trainer in Oklahoma for a before Nationals tune up. This horse is an official pony at 14h that is same Bay and marked just like her pony back in the old days. She really never thought about that until a trainer who knew Foxie asked if this new horse was a close relative. Marked the same down to same snip on the nose.

[Indy]

My logic brain tells me to tell you to find a nice solid citizen for her to lease or part lease for a while. Something that’s a good size for her, that is safe, and that she can learn on until she’s ready and wants to move up.

The part of my brain that currently leases her adult self a pony (she’s my tiny princess and is not at all spoiled thank you very much) tells me to tell you to absolutely buy a pony. If not for your actual child, but for your inner child.

[findeight]

Do you have a Pony in mind? If so, tell us. If not, start by asking around, the best ones are never advertised, they don’t have to be.

[luvmyhackney]

Buy that sweet child a pony!!!

As a pony owner, I’d lease vs buying unless she seems super interested and you want to maintain a pony. My kids did the pony thing for a couple years and interest faded quickly. They were not bit by the bug.

[cayuse]

I’m going to be the sour puss and say find a nice older, safe and sane pony to lease. Kids sometimes can have a short attention span and want to move on to something else in the blink of an eye. However, you can always buy a pony for yourself that she can borrow I mean, it’s an option!

[floppyammy]

I’m also going to be a sourpuss. I’ve seen too many horse crazy moms dragging their semi-interested kids into horses. They buy the pony, and the kid, who was never really that interested to begin with, quickly loses interest. Pony ends up sitting around and is eventually sold.

Honestly, as a kid that had a mom that tried to force me to like the same things she liked, it does kind of bug me a little to see moms try to force their kids into horses. Expose kids to everything, and let them develop their own passions and identities as they go.

[poltroon]

If she isn’t horse crazy, if you’re at boarding barns, and especially since she’s 6, I say no. Be patient.

I know!

But. You don’t want this to be a point of friction for you if she decides she doesn’t want to go. Also, at this age, they frighten easily and also, I think what makes horses fun for kids as much as anything is other kids that also like ponies.

She will probably have stronger interest, if she is going to, at 7 or 8. At that point, find her a lesson stable, ideally one with a nice string of lesson horses and a group of kids her age to ride with. It might have to be summer camp, depending just what is available in your area.

No rides on your horse for now. You need your horse back and way better to have her asking for it.

[Kinda_Kooky]

Buy the pony. Have you bought it already? You should.

Life is an adventure, worst case you have some time into a cute pony another will want. Do you need help finding a pony?

You may see a change in your daughter’s interest if she knows the pony is hers.

What’s the worst thing that could happen? More ponies?

I am not seeing the negatives here.

[cattywampus]

Buy a damn pony. I bought a pony 15 years ago in case I had kids who might like ponies. My kids aren’t actually that into ponies, but now I have 5 ponies* because it turns out that I am really into ponies.

2 of them are retired, so I really only have 3 ponies.*

Or possibly 4, because I inherited the short and saintly dressage pony my mom got when she started getting frail and decided jumping big things on big horses was a bad idea.*

***I did the Pony Math again, and I think I actually only should count it as 2.5 ponies, because one is only 2, so we’ll call her 0.5 ponies for now.

[Draft1]

Each and every enabler and common sense counter thinker has a valid point! Now, if I could find a pony that could carry my 180# husband around, I wouldn’t hesitate.

[Jenerationx]

So you’re looking for a cob type then?

[Draft1]

Funny enough… I’m currently googling Fell ponies and watching Forensic Files!

[Draft1]

I don’t know the first thing about pony breeds, so I think I’ll need to do a bit of research. My daughter’s already 4’2" at four, so I think someone’s suggestion of a 13h pony made a lot of sense.

[luvmyhackney]

If you could find a hony and deal with the 14.3/15 hand range you might be able to find something the whole family can enjoy, especially if built like a brick house.