Tell me your funniest Horse Fail

Been having a pretty bad day so I decided to start this thread to make someone laugh a bit! Share about your funniest horse moment, can be a fall, a fail, tack malfunction, your horse being a weirdo, etc. Have some fun! I’ll start.

Once while riding my pony during a 1m course I felt something shift underneath me, I thought maybe since he was sweating a lot the saddle shifted so I ignored it and kept jumping since we were mid competition. Suddenly at a vertical then oxer double my girth just snapped! It ripped and the second my pony jumped the vertical I was sent flying with the saddle between my legs but everything happened so fast that I didn’t even know I had fallen off until I was literally sitting on my saddle on the ground :rofl: To make things even more embarrassing my pony decided he was feeling frisky and ended up jumping the rest of the course all by himself in record time. Yeah, was quite the adventure.

I have so many more stories i am happy to share so lets keep the thread going! I’ll post my next one after 5 people post their silly story.

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Gray horse. Bath on a cool morning before show. Red wool cooler. Pink horse.

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:rofl: Please tell me you got to ride a pink horse through your show. You must have caught a lot of eyes

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My young mustang’s first real trail ride. All went well until we got to the stream crossing. She decided it was time for a bath and laid down with me on her. No warning, just laid down. Unfortunately, it was mid-November so not exactly welcome. It was funny though and got a good laugh out of it. Silly baby!

Another time, different horse. Doing my show jump course and lost my reins just before the two stride in and out at the end. I pulled up, got organized, and debated withdrawing but pointed her at the fence from one stride out, gunned it and she nailed it perfectly. We got ninth place! That mare was a jumping machine.

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I’ve got plenty :smirk:
Two that come to mind:

TB Diva (gelding) refuses to go down a small (5’) sloping bank into a shallow (ankle-deep) creek - maybe 5’ wide.
DH & his Very Brave TWH are already on the other side.

I decide to lead him, dismount & when that fails, detach one rein from the bit to make a long, leading rein.
I go down the bank, into the creek, and cluck encouragement.
Diva takes one bug-eyed look at me - facing certain Death by Drowning - and JUMPS the creek. :scream:
Probably at least a 6’ spread.
I stand, holding the rein, as my TB sails overhead.
So much effort, when walking down the bank, across the creek & up the far bank would have required much less :roll_eyes:

Riding bareback on borrowed pony.
He is so fat & furry in his Fall coat it is like sitting on a sofa.
We go to cross same creek described above.
It is late Fall & Creek is shallower.
Pony has forefeet in the water when - I kid you not! - a HUGE salmon makes a rapid crossing right in front of us. :open_mouth:
Fish is so big about half is out of the water :hushed:
Apparently these salmon spawn upstream of the creek.
Pony takes one step back, then does what felt like a doublequick passage across the creek.
His plush fatness kept me securely seated.
Good Thing as I was :rofl:

I am sure I’ll remember more :smirk:

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I swear that TB geldings are WAY more dramatic than any mare i have ever met :joy: That must have been such a fun ride lol

I have no idea how you sat both of those :rofl: :rofl: You must have killer seat

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not me personally but daughter’s …she was returning from the stadium jumping part of Event, as she was approaching the trailer she saw a picnic table over off the trail. She also used her horse in NATRC rides which has obstacle they must navigate so she thought her horse should look closely at this picnic table. She approached her horse stopped short she cued him forward… he eventually took that as “oh. you want we up there” …as I was watching but never saw the horse move… it was on the ground in front of the table next thing they were on top of the table…it was not a jump or leap it was there they are standing on top of this table looking like a war monumental statue of some general on horse back.

Daughter was asking what did he do? well… I think he thought you wanted him up there so that is what he did, how I am not sure.

Next was how do I get down (she was still mounted)… let him have his head then cue forward again… which she did … horse looks at the concrete seats around the table at first thinking about stepping down on those but instead just stepped off the table (with daughter still mounted) like it was no big deal, what’s the fuss ?

I went back to measure the height of the table it was just over 40 inches …it was a table like this one but was taller

it was a very sad day when that horse passed away, he would do anything for her and did so it ways to protect her …really good guy

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:joy: I mean at least he aimed to please. He sounds like such a sweet guy, it hurts when the good ones leave but he gave you plenty of memories to look back on.

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Many years ago, I went to visit my DH (we were not married yet) out of state. He set up a riding lesson with his then trainer. I think he talked me up to be this great rider, so the trainer put me on a semi-green Argentine TB. Well, we were jumping and I came to this jump that has those wishing-well-type standards. Well, horse stopped, but I didn’t. I landed rear-end-first into the well. My DH said all he could see were my feet and hands sticking out of the well. He and the trainer were of course cracking up with hearty laughter. Admittedly, I was laughing too, but it hurt like heck. How embarrassing. :relaxed:

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:grin: As much as I’d love to take the compliment, in #1 I was standing in the creek, watching TB sail overhead like some (as Brits say) baystard kite.
In #2, pony’s fat rolls & fuzz worked like a car seat :laughing:

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Took horse to a small show to knock the cobwebs off after a layup. He pulled back and ran off, into the show ring where some one was doing a warmup round. At that point he must have figured out he was in bad trouble because we couldn’t catch him. Finally he spotted the kind man who had been handing out carrots earlier and screeched to a halt. Caught horse and did the walk of shame out of the ring while apologizing profusely to the person whose round he’d disrupted.

The judge was a friend and one-time prolific poster here who also wrote a column. We were featured. https://www.horseillustrated.com/life-with-horses-blog-2011-0502-judging-jamboree/amp

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Sure, here’s one for ya…
My little TB mare started jumping training after her race career was over. I gave it a try to sell her as a kid’s hunter prospect for $2500, but no one wanted to even look at her, so I figured I’d keep her and show her myself. We were doing mostly hunter classes at first, she’s just little at 15.2, but cute and a good jumper, always nice style and always brave, and a bit of a perfectionist . I’ve done mostly jumpers previously, some bigger stuff when I was younger, and happy enough to play in the little hunters as I eased back into horse showing again after my stint training racehorses. So, no doubt a bit rusty, and the horse was green. But she was always game, I had jumped her through some grids, and she was happy as they went up a bit, so I figured that maybe we could play a bit in some of the local jumper classes at the local shows. One fall fair offered s “3 bar” competition as one of their specialty classes, with prize money, so I figured we’d give that a try. I jumped her up to 4’ at home, and she was good with that, no problem. So off we went to the horse show. I figured we would be OK up to at least that height, and we would probably roll a rail at some point about then.

So they start this class very low, almost tough to get the two strides in the 36 feet when the jumps are tiny, like 2’6", the two strides are long. But we canter through it, as does most everyone else, no problem. Then they raise it. Each round. No problem for us. As things started to get quite large, and my little mare kept on eating these jumps up… she was keen, focused and happy, the bigger they got, the happier she was. But she was still a green horse, with experience mostly in the hunter divisions, and not big jumps.

As the jumps went up, I was trying to get her to the base of these jumps, so that she could jump UP, rather than OVER like a hunter. The striding gets tighter as the jumps go up, and especially with a horse who is still really just a hunter, so I was searching for the base coming into the first one. The first one was now 4’, the second one was 4’3" and the last one was now a 4’6" oxer (ya, I know, but it’s a fall fair and not subject to “normal” rules). A wide oxer.

We cantered in to the first one, and she flattened just a bit on that last stride. We hit the rail hard. The rail came down (which means elimination at this point), but we landed with that rail on the far side of that first jump, it was kind of stuck between her front legs, tripping her and hampered her landing. Her front end went down, nose on the ground, rail between her front legs. I stayed on through this, don’t know how. I dropped my inside hand, to help to guide her out of the line, we were already to one side of the line and pointed OUT of the line.

But she kept her feet, did not fall. She also failed to turn herself OUT of the line. She said, “It’s OK mom, I can jump this from here”, and took herself back into the line, the one stride to the second jump, and two strides again to the last big oxer. This was NOT my plan at all, I just put the reins on her neck, stayed out of her way, and let her do her thing. She was awesome. We finished in second place, as the other horse jumped clean through this, and there were only two of us left. I was stunned. The amazing talent, the amazing courage, the amazing work ethic of this little horse, who took over and saved the day, and still got her work done with brilliance, even after an error.

We moved on into the jumper divisions after this… the dumb human figured out that that was where we belonged. We competed in this class at several different shows over the next few years, and it was always her favourate, and we won it more often than not. We were never asked to jump higher than 5’ at the last one, which she did successfully on these occasions. She never did flatten in front of the first one again though, never made that mistake again. Always bounce in super slow, get to the base of the first one, and pop through the three of them as easy as pie.

At one of these shows, someone in the audience took a picture with a cell phone, and sent it to me on facebook. I don’t know who this person is, no one I know. But that picture is precious to me. Kindness from a stranger. My little mare is retired now, living out her days with her family herd. She’s a treasure!
I shall try to attach the picture here, I have not done this since the format change here, so I have no idea what I’m doing, don’t know if this is the right one as I can’t preview it.
10516624_804658519566069_8768338804002623411_n|600x489

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What a wonderful story!!And a wonderful mare too! I remember going to a show with my old grouchy trainer in the late 80’s. She had told me to jump around the course during schooling, so I just started catching jumps. Well, I jumped into the line and was about 2 strides out from what I thought was a roll top, but was actually her!!!She stood up, her expression was shocked and she immediately ducked back down and we jumped her. OMG. I was so scared!!!She ripped me a new one, deservedly but I think she was mostly happy we all survived. Also riding a wonderful TB mare, btw.

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Holy moly!! You guys look amazing in that pic! :heart: As one of my daughter’s coaches once pointed out, Touch of Class was only 15.2.

I don’t have anything too dramatic in comparison. Maybe my 3rd ride on my new lease horse, an upper level eventing prospect turned dressage pony (he refused to advance past Prelim) we tried to go for a nice hack with the trainer, who was riding an older Belgian WB hony & ponying an 18+hh Holsteiner “baby”. About a mile out into the fields, what should appear over the horizon but the Hunt. Who were supposed to have gone out the opposite direction. Uh oh. The baby was starting to dance, so trainer suggested trotting in a calm orderly fashion back to the barn, with the warning that leased horse could get very wound up & strong in the field above a walk. Duly noted. The baby was looking like he was about to explode, forward we must go.

Not 4 strides into the trot before my horse decides an orderly 575m a minute CCI**** gallop is a wiser option. Not good, but no problem, I’ll ask for the 2 stride left-right, zig zag! Nothing. Ok, no problem. Look, a nice 5-board fence! We’ll just use that to pull up. We charged towards the fence & everything seemed to be working out to plan until I felt him starting to gather up & lighten his front end. And it dawned on me that I had a problem I’d never had the luxury of having before…OMG, THIS HORSE CAN JUMP THAT FENCE!!!" (And who are these crazy rich maniacs that $&#**& have 5-board fences, anyway??)

I’m not entirely sure how we stopped. I might’ve made a feeble attempt at a race horse pulley rein. But really, I think it just dawned on him that this new human was not a professional rider like his mom & he’d better make a good impression by not killing me our first hack out. We both attempted to take a few deep, cleansing breaths. Right then, the baby decided to voice his appreciation for our s–t show by rearing. Having now regained his cool, older brother composure, my horse went, “No, no son. That’s not how you rear. This is how you rear.” Except he didn’t account for us being stopped on a grade. So this rear became an inadvertent levade as the dressage king realized his mistake. He flexed his PSG-strong abdominal chain & somehow defied gravity to levitate us safely back to earth.

Trainer suggested hoping off. I obliged. We were only a short distance to the gate by now & sort of run-walked for it. Over the crest of the hill came one of the hunt’s out riders. She looked slightly alarmed but managed a polite smile & wave before radioing back to the main group to hang on until we could maneuver through the gate & retreat over the Causeway of Doom back onto our farm before unleashing the hounds & 50 horses over the hill.

Horse seemed a tad embarrassed about the whole thing & ever after was slightly up but good as gold on hacks. Even the day that we came around the bend to find a bald eagle smack dab in our path, trying to hunt fish from the Causeway of Doom. :joy:

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My favorite one went down in barn lore amongst the witnesses. I was lucky enough to get to ride an AMAZING 17.3H (I’m 5’ 2" lol) jump-through-fire horse to finish out a show season of the adult hunters and my trainer & I were trying to get another jump lesson in after work one night before it got dark. As a warmup, we were going to trot a little (tiny!) flower box. George LAUNCHED. Witnesses swear he cleared the 5’ standards and that two of his feet must have clapped together in midair because they saw sparks. I know my feet clapped each other over his butt in midair and that I was Superman-style parallel to his topline at one point. Somehow, some way, I managed to land back in the saddle with a leg on each side and stayed on. No one knows how, not even George, but we decided it was must be too dark to keep jumping if he had that reaction :laughing: :laughing:

My other was when I was rehab riding my TB gelding. We’re trotting along, nice & pleasant, when he suddenly (& uncharacteristically) props and BUCKS HARD. I went so far up in the air I remember looking DOWN at my saddle & horse thinking, “I’m not gonna get back in the tack this time.” I fell like a rag doll and landed completely horizontal on my side. Not knowing where the horse was or what he was doing, I lay perfectly still until my trainer asked if I was ok. I replied, “I’m fine; where’s the horse?” because I knew the gate was open. “He’s right behind you standing like a statue.” She told me she’d never seen anyone (horse or human) go that far up in the air before coming down, and that we both landed at the same time and never moved a muscle (he knew that was naughty & better not make it worse).

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Took an OTTB I had just bought to the park to trail ride with a friend. Hadn’t hauled him before and wasn’t expecting him to fly backwards off the trailer, where he proceeded to get loose and gallop through the park…which would have been okay, however, there was a 5K going on at the same park that day and my loose horse ended up joining the human race. Luckily, plenty of runners were around to catch him. I was mortified as I had to do the walk of shame with him back to the trailer!

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Wow, I love this story so much, wonderful photo too!

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My stomach is hurting from laughing so much. So many greta pictures! Okay, I thought about another horse fail I’ll share as well:

We were at a national show competing at around 1.05m, first 1.05 of my life and I was super excited. I even got my horse all dolled up with his hair braided and knotted. We got onto the course, we finished beautifully, getting 1st in a class of 30, and I was so happy and I was celebrating when I noticed my mom looked horrified as she looked at both me and my horse while my sister was on the ground laughing taking pictures.

Where I live there’s a season where all the birds hang around town, especially near the arena we were competing in, so people hide under umbrellas to avoid them. Now, taking this in mind, there were a ton of birds that day but I hadn’t really noticed them and while my sister laughed I briefly wondered why until my horse turned to scratch himself against my boot and that was when I noticed. I noticed a BIG GREEN AND WHITE GLOB ON HIS FACE.

Apparently, who knows how, but a bird somehow managed to shit right on his face while on the course and while I was giving the course of my life he was looking like the most ridiculous thing ever. So we had to take pictures with the trophy and ribbon with my horses face covered in bird poop. There is literally no picture of that day where my horse does not have it on him :rofl: It was one of the best shows of my life, my first time jumping higher than 1m and the only picture and videos memories I have include my horses face covered in shit, it was an experience

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One that just happened to my teenager, not me:

Arriving at the barn, I went out to ask the trainer if she had time for an impromptu lesson since the rest of the week would be a wash with the snow storm coming. Sure! And did daughter want to switch places with her & canter the sassy old 12.2 pony she was trying to ride down a bit before the littles got on it?

Daughter was game. She headed to the ring. Meanwhile, I figured I’d save us time by tacking up her horse. Returned to the car to grab another jacket & happened to glance in the direction of the arena. Now riderless sassy pony was tearing around the lower half in circles. Having one my typical Mother of the Year moments, it took a few seconds to register: Wait. Where’s child? She’s supposed to be on the pony. Oh no! She’s going to be really upset about her Samshield if she fell :confounded:

Rounding the corner of the barn, I was greeted by the sight of trainer, dirtless child (yay! Maybe she didn’t fall after all!) and two big, chill field hunters & their riders all standing calmly in the center of the ring watching sassy pony gallop the lower half in some sort of deranged courtesy circles. Every couple laps, she cut down the quarter line, popped a counter canter, & then flying changed back to her right lead.

The whole thing had to have lasted 5 minutes. All 7 of us, horse & human watched without comment. The field hunters looked as they were starting to doze off. Finally, pony slide to a halt & allowed herself to be caught. Daughter explained that when trainer had asked her to reverse direction at the trot, she started spinning & buck-rearing & she’d somehow come off & landed neatly on both feet: “I’m not really sure what happened.” And then almost fell on the floor laughing.

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Half a century ago, but it still makes me laugh. We rode on an extensive trail system (rights of way over private land). It was then called PLA (Private Lanes Association) and is now BRLA (Bedford Riding Lanes Association). There was one loop of trail that was always closed off, so we always rode past the blocked turnoff.

One year there was a hunter pace that used that area of the trails. (One at a time, not as pairs) For the hunter pace the normally closed loop was opened up, and was part of the hunter pace course. As we came up to the turn onto THAT loop, I was trying to slow him down and make the turn, Rocket was ignoring me because he KNEW we were going straight.

At the same moment that I decided he WSN’T going to turn, and I needed to pull up and circle back - Rocket figured out that I really DID want to turn, and turned very sharply. The net result was that I went straight (without horse) and Rocket turned into the loop. To make matters worse there was an outrider sited just beyond the turn (presumably to make sure nobody got lost). I caught Rocket, remounted and finished the hunter pace.

I got a ribbon (10th I think) but I also got the “Booby Prize” which was a skunk stuffed toy. I still have it somewhere.

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