Him knowing you and you spending as much time with him as possible will help him settle. Once he gets into the new barn routine (not sure from your posts but if it’s like most barns when new horses are brought in, they wait a couple of weeks before putting the newby in the herd) and into ‘his’ herd (or use to the horse(s) next door), he’ll be fine. You are his comfort right now, the one thing that hasn’t changed in his world. It will make your relationship that much stronger. Don’t be worried and he won’t be as worried. (I know, easier said than done when it’s your baby being anxious)
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OP it is so fantastic that he relaxes when you are there. In earlier comments you worried that he still “belonged” to the trainer. The next few weeks are your opportunity to make him “belong” to you. Spend a lot of time with him including grooming and hand walks. You can longe for obedience with lots of transitions or see if he will free longe with voice or body cues in a round pen. Make sure he gets a chance to move out freely every day. Make sure he gets to explore the whole property. Walk him through all the barns arenas etc. If you have easy trail access hand walk him on trails. If he likes baths, hose him off every day if the weather is nice.
I would keep rides simple and basic until he is settled. Don’t school anything new or challenge him.
I too would give him up to a month to settle in, and would be alert to ulcers. Does he have an overnight hay bag? Food is very very soothing to horses. I tend to ration my air fern mares but feeding too much short term is OK in stressful situations.
There are various instructions from ground work and natural horsemanship about how to manage anxiety in horses. One thing is not to reward anxious behavior. Even something like feeding grain. Horses lose their minds when they see the bucket and then get rewarded with dinner. Asking them to back up and wait a minute before you let them eat really helps. They learn they get rewarded for being quiet.
Working on simple things like standing ground tied in a round pen then coming when you whistle are low key exercises that use their brains but encourage quiet behavior.
It’s great he has found a pony friend. Encourage that.
Also it’s now fall, depending where you are. All our horses have been fresher this week since the heat wave ended. That may not apply in your area though.
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Did I jump on her? No. So chill out.
That was from OP’s words. Not mine.
Absolutely the OP is fine. Ya’ll jumped all over me, clutching pearls over me saying that “I personally would let my horse chill a bit”.
I didn’t criticize nor did I say anything negative. Go find a more worthy cause to defend.
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Thanks, all!
Yes he does relax when he has me. Today I went into his stall for a snuggle before I started anything with him and was just petting him as he was munching hay and he immediately dropped his junk lol.
We are 100% on top of his tummy. A month of ulcerguard at the full dose was started a few days before he shipped, and he’s on a med for his hindgut too. This barn gives hay 24/7, and he’s still eating some hay that I brought with us. The management really is fantastic and they want him to settle too—they figured out what he tolerates and doesn’t in turnout.
He’s trying so so hard to be good. I rode him today and we’re in the northeast where it is WINDY today and cooler than it has been, after the storm. The outdoor is huge and open, and we did a lot of walking, petting, trotting, walking, petting, rinse and repeat. I do need trainer to ride him because I tend to clamp up and pull too much when he’s fresh but I think the very chill ride with me today did him good.
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He has a lot of new things to process in his environment as well as adjusting to new feed and hay. He will eventually settle in his own time frame ( when he is good and ready). Is he adjusting to a new turnout group or still in his own paddock? That will be another major stressor.
I would just ride as you always did . No reason not to.
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You are a great mom. He will be ok. It will just take time and the continued great care he is getting.
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It takes as long as it takes 
Horses by nature don’t like change. Makes sense, in the wild change is bad and there could be predators lurking about and they haven’t learned where the scary things are. I think some get accustomed to constant changes if they show a ton etc, but that’s also when they get super stressed so I think it becomes a bit of a learned helplessness situation.
I have one that just becomes SUPER alert and snorty (super dominant, not a long show record but is head horse wherever he goes), and one that is fine to ride in a new location (has a very long show record), but a basket case in turnout in a new location (is very naturally insecure bottom of the totem pole kind of guy).
I think it took them around 3 weeks to get comfy this last move. I wouldn’t worry.
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Horses are wary about change, but feral horses cover vast territories and go exploring. However they tend to do this as a herd and they are very alert not just to predators but to the presence of other horses that might challenge them.
I was caretaking an unbroke pony that had shared a field as companion to a colt that grew up to be a young stallion and started trying to run him off. We brought the pony into my barn. I took him for handwalks into the park. He was on crazy high alert looking out through the trees across a major road into grasslands on the other side. He knew horses traversed the park trails (lots of poop) but didn’t know they all lived in the stables. He’d spent his life on a field. He was crazy alert looking for the swamp horses he knew had to be out there and especially for any stallions charging out at him. He was otherwise a sweet cuddly fellow.
I’ve also done groundwork on a couple of mares that came off a field, and they were much more anxious about getting out of sight of other horses until we’d done lots of grass walks.
So horses can adapt better to change and movement than say cats, or other very territorial predators especially. But they do need to learn the horsey social world as well as the physical layout of the new place.
I think eventually they accept that horses in stalls in new barns are just none of their business and they aren’t expected to interact with them. But default is they need to have everyone sorted out into a herd and know their place in it (maybe this is a boss mare kind of thing).
The normal way for horses to cover territory is to walk and remember the way home. Trail horses are just fine about doing multi day rides in the back country. However, I often wonder what they make of getting in a trailer and getting out 250 miles away in an entirely different climate belt. My mare likes traveling and pops off the trailer with a bright eyed “where are we now?” look. But I wonder how she processes this. I also wonder how dogs understand elevators…
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He took a deep breath today. Mom on his back, kept it simple. We’re going to start some magnesium, too. Given that it was a chilly morning, I’ll take the improvement!
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Potentially a while. Like a few months. I believe author Jane Smiley is 100% spot on in her assertion that for a horse, the social aspect of changing barns is akin to moving middle schools. He hasn’t changed barns in a long time, right?
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Perfect. Best thing to do is pay out your 30 days but leave ASAP. Not healthy to stick around for anyone.
He is! It’s still a work in progress, but we’re getting there. A combination of exercise, magnesium, and ear plugs have been instrumental too 
I think he does like the change overall though. He’s perked up in general (aside from being nervous and fresh) and loves that we can walk around the farm and thru fields. He’s very very good with a buddy; I think he’s still wary of being alone and all the rings at new place are a walk away from the barn. It helps that the care is fantastic and the staff likes him a lot (he is Mr. Personality).
One big change too, is that previous trainer would very quickly resort to drugs (like ace) whenever horses in her program were taken out or were overly fresh (even in her school horses) and I absolutely loathed that approach. Mine didn’t get it often, but I suspect that before I owned him that was her way of managing him when she took him off property. So here I am, moving him, and not resorting to that and I am left wondering how much he learned from previous off-property trips because he was medicated. I don’t want to turn this into a rant about ace, but I don’t believe it to be a good approach when used non-selectively. New trainer only uses it for rehab and in for real safety issues, which is beyond refreshing.
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That doesn’t sound even remotely legal. I take it that these terms ("We’ll lock the horse in a stall and day-rate you despite being paid through the month) were not in the boarding contract?
Is that to me? Of course it wasn’t 
Eck, looks like I accidentally also quoted you when I tried to quoted DBYC. I blame my phone for that one!
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I wonder if you are seeing the real horse now? I have no experience with ace but she may have been using it on him all the time?
Could have also been the reason she reacted so poorly to the OP giving notice; some degree of panic that her use of drugs on their horse might be found out.
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