I need to tell my trainer I’m moving (out of state). She was once a good friend but the relationship has soured and I’m miserable at current barn. Even our barn manager told me in confidence not to trust the people I thought I were my friends because they talk about me behind my back—trainer included. We’re grown ups and I don’t need this. I found a new barn/trainer and am excited about the change. I will move horse mid-August. I’m afraid of her reaction. She has always had very tight control over me and horse (I purchased horse from her) and it was her way or the highway in her program. I have even been told what I can and cannot do outside of lessons (won’t get into details but it’s ridiculous and does not involve jumping).
I somehow feel like a huge jerk if I tell her and then immediately move horse a few days later. I risk being ostracized and treated poorly if I tell her with some time left (I’ll pay the last 30-days of board). She’s already not treating me especially well. I’m not worried about care of horse, however. I am certain she will not treat horse poorly. Ideally, help with the move would be useful (e.g., getting him shod with advice from farrier right beforehand, if she could suggest a shipper, help if he balks getting on different trailer), but I’m not expecting it.
What’s the best approach?