Inspired by Merry’s Hambola Virus, what nicknames do you give your horses that are a far cry from whatever their dignified and elegant real names are?
I’ll start.
Portia, a/k/a Pork, Porky, Porky Pie, Pork Butt, Countess Porcula [think Count Chocula], PQ, Portia Queen, and (of course) Her Highness.
Lucien, a/k/a Lu, Lu-Boy, Loopy Lu, Lu Lu, and (worst of all) Sweetums Baby Boy. 
Collectively, the PWs, short for the PonyWones, short for the Pony Wonies, none of which are actually ponies.
Oh god I am awful for that…I won’t tell you his real name…but I am now calling him chelsea bun which really sounds like his real name…but not very dignified for such a lovely horse. I recently went through a phaze in which I called every animal on our farm bobo…don’t even ask how I came up with that, I have no idea and it is such a horrible word. My husband had to give me a stern talking to in order to break me of that hideous habit. Bobo is just not acceptable.
Baby, snickerdoodles, fatty, Poo, Poop-alot and the mandatory- Who the he*! do you think you are!!
Parfois vous avez a juste lacher prise et mouche
Smart Ass (dubbed by a friend at the barn…used by all)
Alec -his most used knickname
Smarty- given by another friend
Stinky- when he’s been fresh
Boo- when he’s affectionate or good
Funny Face- when he does something silly or is playful
Hand-some- When he does well or is being all around cute
My poor horsies have so many ridiculous nicknames:
Jon- Jon-Jon, Noj (Jon backwards), Saint Jon, Sexy (he even responds to this!! 
)
Liberty- Libs, Berto, Berto Muerto, dumba$$
Red Man- Reddy, Red, Reddy Freddy, pony
Stuffy- Stuffles, stuffalufagus 
Thats about it…haha! one of my friends has a horse named Voo doo, and she calls him satan too! lol
Sarah Beth
Worth the Wait aka Paul, darn yellow horse, Mr Paul (I guess they heard my trainer say it 
lol), Pollywogs (my mom), mellow yellow (his monatana family), and handsome boy (me).
Jess
Hey, Dr. H youre not the only one!! My well, marish mare, Annie gets called that on a regular basis 
, though she seems to think that it means that shes gonna get some food, as opposed to being turned into it Oh well… guess ill just have to stick to big fannie annie
Asheeeeee
Magnum aka Mag, Killer, Ma-ga-num, peanut, Stinky McGee and Magnum the Mirauder! And many others!
“Horses do think. Not very deeply, perhaps, but enough to get you into a lot of trouble.” Unknown
I really like the C and the S for common and sorry. I’ll have to add that to my repitoire.
And I did forget another very well used nickname for T-Bay. That is Pig Pen (he’s really a pig in the stall)!!!
msj
We have this big four year old Holsteiner gelding named Colossus. Daily he makes us laugh with his crazy antics and sheer joie de vivre (joy of life). We have nicknamed him le grande boobage (said with a camp french accent). It started out with us yelling “Colossus you big tit” and just got fancier and fancier.
My big old Holsteiner stallion named Cambridge is now being called “Leroy libido” just cause, well, use your imagination
Roulette, aka Rolaids (as in, I need some because she is being a mareish witch)
Talkalot aka Maggie (being a good girl) aka Maggot (being a bad girl)
“Of course, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.” - Dennis Miller
Of Regal Means aka:
Regal, Regs, Regy, Your Highness (or His Highness), Mr. Inquisitive, Booger, Geldingbums, Arthritic
Sarah * AKA “Regal’s Person”
My paint mare’s barn name is Mackie (from her registered name Fleetwood’s McIntosh). She is called Mackie Moo, Moo, Schmoo, Mackie Schmoo, Mackadoo, Mackadooodle, Mackadoodledoo, Macaroni, etc. I cannot take credit for all of these though – the grooms and working students are responsible for some.
I used to have a mare named Protocol who came with the barn name Phyllis. It had to be changed, since there was already a Phyllis in the barn, so I called her Alice. but the grooms (or there are those dratted grooms, again. Darn…) kept saying, “Move over, you Pig” or “Get out of my way, you Pig”. So her barn name became “AliceYouPig”. I still have a grooming halter with that nameplate on it.
Sophie started out as just Sophie, but she is a 17 hand 3 year old who could not get out of her own way, must less yours. So her official barn name is now “SophieMoose”.
Mikey is Mickey, Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouth (when he is eating the crosstie or your clothes).
And Warren is called “The Big W” when he is good and knows it. When he is bad, it is unprintable.
Weatherford aka Cowboy, aka Cowman, aka Cowface aka just plain cow…
Now, I happen to LIKE cows, but I am not so sure HE appreciates it…
I have called my husband, at least one child and a horse by the loving nickname, “pumpkin poo”.
msj, you gotta admit, GDMFSOB rolls right off the tongue in times of major irritation or panic!
as does GDCMFSSOB (hint: that “C” is for Common, and the first “S” is for “sorry”)
Does anyone else think that “Common” is about a bad an insult a horse can receive? For instance, I will not own a CPOS
Fuzz Face, Dick Nose (you should see the shape of the tip of his blaze), hey you with the spots,…
but of course, also Sweetie, Sweetheart, baby, and other unsuitable names more appropriate to a Significant Other. G
Hmm… SO many to choose from, some not eligible for print
Robbie: Robbie-bob (good boy), RoBERT (horse in trouble), Robert-bob (horse in trouble, but with the potential to improve), Bobbert (if you were a stallion, something would be scheduled for removal), Baby Huey (you are a hunter, fer chrissakes, do you think you could manage to NOT step on at least ONE out of four trot poles?), Richard Cranium (yes, you WILL jump red flowers).
Raven was occassionally referred to as “RavenManiac”
Rebel is referred to as “Pony B” (Princess is Pony A), Ebs, Ebelreb, REBELDAMNIT and of course, “THAT Pony”
All of them are referred to as Sweet Pea when I am feeling particularly nice, and “generic dog food” when I am not (with the promise that if they are real good they may work up to Alpo).
Rivers is too new to have any good nicknames, but he does suffer from the same fate as the others when I am REALLY pissed: RobbieRebelRavenRivers, whoEVER you are STOP IT!!!
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