The Cult of Horse Girls?

[Grassstainknees]

I listen to a comedy podcast called “Sounds Like a Cult” that analyzes the modern day cults we all follow.

Its all for fun, they have covered Peloton, Medical School, Boy Scouts…everything is fair game. They crowd source topics so I put “Horse Girls” out there.

Knowing they likely won’t make the episode, what would they discuss? Some of the major themes that came to mind were:

• Shared common language. Good luck trying to understand all the breeds, health and anatomy, tack, disciplines if you’re an outsider.
• High exit costs. Horses creep in and take over every facet of life: your time, finances, social life, emotional well being, and most of us make major life decisions to accommodate our horsey lifestyles.
• BNTs/Programs. Are some borderline charismatic cult leaders? Do some create followers that religiously follow their “teachings”?
• Do different disciplines create an us vs them mentality?

What are some good soundbites that will sound wild to an outsider? Part of their format is taking call-ins from the audience with the prompt, “The cultiest thing about Horse Girls is”…

I hope others find this as amusing as I do

[Scribbler]

Hmm. I think niche interests and obsessions are a really good thing when they are self directed and generated. That’s the only way any thing gets created in arts or sciences or even top athletes.

Real cults are top down and controlling and I’m not that interested in dulling the cult concept as an analytical tool. MLM has aspects of cults.

Life without niche obsessions would be boring and meaningless.

[BlueDrifter]

While I agree with @Scribbler about real cults – I gather this podcast is using “cults” rather loosely.

Thus, I contribute “horse husbands” both as “widows” (like golf widows) and as a type of horse breed (husband horse).

[Janet]

@Grassstainknees

good soundbites that will sound wild to an outsider?

“It was mostly a good test, but the mediums were not really through.”

[OverandOnward]

@Grassstainknees

Shared common language.

This is so huge. When horse people are in a ‘big conversation’, others complain that they have no idea what they are talking about. Actually others leave in disgust.

Also the problem that horse peeps don’t really talk about anything but horses. Even to non-horse people. Wouldn’t that be one of the red flags?

[Rallycairn]

Favorite laments of horse cult members:

I’d love to go to Paris/the Bahamas/you-name it, but who would farm sit?

Or, even more cult-ish - I can’t leave the farm for more than a day trip, cause who would care for the horses?

What about – Imagine the Ferrari I could drive if I didn’t also need a truck, trailer, and 5-7 horses?

[2bayboys]

Horse Girl math:

I can’t have just one horse, because Dobbin can’t live alone.
I can’t have just two horses, because when I take Dobbin to a horse show, Trigger can’t be left alone.
I can’t have just three horses, because when I’m riding Dobbin and my friend comes over to ride Trigger, Blaze can’t be left alone.
I can’t just have four horses, because…

[equinelibrium]

This is exactly why you need Henry’s brother!

[Paint_Party]

Common language in the horse world is legendary.

“The line was a five, but I held too long and he chipped out.”

And let’s not even get into the verbal minefield of discussing sheath cleaning, especially with geldings that have been christened with human first names.

[OverandOnward]

Took my horse to a small schooling show. Not to do anything much but just school. Did a 3’ division. On return to the barn …

BO (backyard horseperson type, does not jump, does not know showing): “How did the show go?”

Me: “He was fast but consistent and hit all his spots. He ended up 1 and 2 over fences. The flat was good except he missed a lead because he got distracted. So he was reserve, just missed champ.”

BO: “I have no idea what you just said.”

[FjordBCRF]

SO always comments on how much horse talk is about hay

[2bayboys]

Lol I’ve had similar conversations with DH.

Took a baby horse to his first show.

DH: “How did it go?”

Me: “Good! A little looky and under the pace in our first trip so we did the adds and opted for simple changes. Second trip was better, got the numbers, he was a little deep to the single diagonal and had a swap at the base into the judge’s line but the jumps were really full and he was so brave! A little low in his frame in the hack - we’ve been working on that - but ended up winning it! I’m so glad I didn’t break his green yet, he’s going to be so nice!”

DH: “Umm, good job?”

[Noelle]

@Paint_Party

And let’s not even get into the verbal minefield of discussing sheath cleaning, especially with geldings that have been christened with human first names.

Some things are just best not discussed among outsiders.

[OverandOnward]

Me: “I’d like to get Rex out on the trails, there are some nice ones in a couple of state parks not far away.”

Friend who doesn’t know me well: “Oh you want to look at a walker or a Rocky Mountain horse for a husband horse for Rex.”

Me: “Rex is my horse.”

[Fiesta01]

@FjordBCRF

SO always comments on how much horse talk is about hay

Or poop!

[OverandOnward]

Had a horse nearly die of impaction colic. He spent several days in the ICU.

I was thrilled and relieved the morning he was released and came home. My friends, who had been following the saga from a distance, not all of them horsey, were kindly asking how he was.

I was excitedly sending out pictures of horse poop. Every time he pooped for that first day. With comments on the size, consistency and regularity of the poop.

My non- horsey friends were asking the horsey friends “why do we have to look at pictures of horse poop?”

[chestnutmarebeware]

Don’t forget the whole crops-spurs-chaps thing that seems to titillate the non-horsey public so much!

[jvanrens]

Then there are the sub-cults! Depending on discipline. I can understand most of the hunter and jumper lingo due to years of hanging out here, since I’ve ridden western and some hunter, I’m good with most of that, if you ride pleasure, horsemanship etc., there’s a whole separate language for cutting, roping etc. Then let’s discuss the track, especially Standardbreds! OMG! It’s taken me years to understand half of it, learned the hard way on the backstretch. Sometimes DD and DH get talking and I’m just going WTF with my inside voice. English please. LOL

[FjordBCRF]

I think the lifestyle has to be an element as well. Especially if you have horses on your own property that you also have to maintain.

Unless you come from money money, horse girls generally have trade offs to support the hobby. People don’t really get that. SO and I are high earners in a LCOL area. He is frugal and I’m as frugal as I can be while supporting my horse habit. We both drive 10 year old vehicles and our shared house payment is what we were each spending individually before we bought a place together. No kids either, that’s a big thing.

Obviously, I have to keep my work schedule reasonable, but my horse is the priority after work and on the weekends. I’d rather be doing horse things than going to a ball game or out to bar. I really don’t know any other people that are into “hobbies” to that degree.

[Annie10]

This is a great thread