Truthfully, a lot of corgis are kind of jerks. So yes, I think your expectations are unreasonable. The phrase “bull headed” obviously originated with cows, and the dogs (corgis, ACDs) that are bred to herd them needed to be just as bull headed.
To phrase it differently: the same stubborn, hardheaded qualities that make a corgi great for staring down an angry 1200lb cow also can make it a maddening pet for the wrong owner.
I joke that corgis are a special kind of bad. A husky might run off and ignore you when you call his name, but in my experience a naughty corgi will turn, acknowledge you have said something to him, and make a clear decision to continue running. For whatever reason, this is 10000x more infuriating to me than if the dog were to ignore me completely (although… still hilarious when it happens to someone else :lol: ).
Corgis do well with the kind of people who can laugh at this sort of thing and make a mental note to work on it. Someone who wants a very biddable dog might find the same behavior infuriating.
I’m in the latter camp. Although I love playing my friends’ corgis (and squee! those stubby little legs and corgi butts!!)… personally I could not own one. I prefer a dog who is my shadow, and who will tolerate sometimes being told to do something rather than always preferring it to be a “discussion.” This is why I have two velcro dog breeds from strong obedience lines (a sheltie and a Briard).
So… to me it sounds like maybe you’re in the same camp as me, and picked the wrong breed this go-round. Your options from here are to (1) suck it up and amp up your training and management efforts through his adolescence and hope he mellows with age, or (2) rehome him to someone who can have a good belly laugh when he acts like a corgi, and get a new dog more suitable to your preferences and living situation.
Honestly, it sounds like #2 might be your best option. It doesn’t sound like you’ve been a bad owner–nor has he had a bad life–but living with an animal that creates so much resentment is very difficult and stressful for humans and the dog.
Different breeds of dogs aren’t just all blank slate puppies ready to be molded into the temperament of your choice with different furry coats for different breeds. There are personality traits that characterize many breeds that can be tremendous to try and overcome… beagles follow their noses, huskies climb/jump fences, greyhounds chase small animals, and corgis are little punks. It doesn’t make any of these dogs BAD, it just means people need to carefully consider their deal-breakers before bringing a new breed home.
Your corgi will never have the temperament of a golden, he may always need a secure boundary fence, and you may never be able to laugh at some of his ridiculous displays of corgi-ness. There is no shame in admitting a personality mismatch, provided you put in your due diligence to return him to his breeder or find a more suitable home.
I would recommend another golden, or golden mix, ideally a 2-4 year old adult who is starting to mellow a little bit. Many breeders have retired show dogs around that age that they are looking to place, or know of others who have something that fits the bill.
(Either way, you’re probably going to have to gate off the cat box. Eating dirty litter seems to be fairly standard dog behavior, regardless of how well they’re otherwise behaved. :lol: )