From Horse & Hound, with delightful British humor.
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I think “He’s off,” is an interesting way of saying a horse is lame, darn it!
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I like #6: “You’ve got to get him listening to you!”
Pretty much the same as, *Make him listen to you!"
Rarely an explanation of how to get the horse to listen to you, the rider. Just a command (or plea?) to somehow magically make the horse pay attention to your wishes.
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“Totally Bombproof” 
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In Sales ads:
“To a Show Home only” - generally w/o credentials ftom.Seller to back that up 
“To a Forever Home” - As if that can be guaranteed 
“Potential (insert discipline)” - of anything under 5 
Trainer to Client:
“More rein”
“More leg”
Seller to potential Buyer:
“He’s never done that before”
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What in the world does “Dope on a rope” mean?
That the horse is an idiot in-hand? Or something way funnier and less literal in Brit-speak? 
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Yeah, the home the seller doesn’t want to give it. 
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According to most of my dressage score sheets… “More bend!” 
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Now that I’m more immersed in the western riding and performance world, I see this phrase a lot in sales ads: “For sale through no fault of his own.”
It always makes me feel like there’s a long story that goes with that sales listing.
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Especially if that “No fault” horse has a heart of gold. One of those “barn favorite with a heart of gold”.
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I’ve actually never heard many of the expressions in that article, and I’ve lived in the UK (though didn’t do much, though did some, riding whilst living there).
For me:
- “Through no fault of his own.”
- “Can take a joke.”
- “Sadly outgrown.”
- “Must be gone.” (Usually applied to moldy saddles on FB).
- “No mares or TBs.”
- “Not typical mare/TB.”
- “Needs to be in a program.”
- “Takes up a lot of leg.”
- “Start/finish him your way.” (This horse is seven years old and halter-broke only.)
- “To dressage home only.” (This horse has been jumped to the ground. Never done a dressage test.)
- “Great eventing prospect.” (This horse scares the crap out of every trainer at this h/j barn. No one at this barn knows anything about eventing.)
- “Great first pony.”
There’s nothing WRONG with these phrases, but they often mean very different things to very different people.
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Program. I’m so tired of that word. I might be bitter because I know some very unskilled horsemen who call what they do with their horses a program, and I would not give it any kind of suggestion it is well thought out or a reflection of some highly skilled individuals deep thoughts on training.
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The ‘leg in each corner’ is what comes to my mind when I see a horse that stands up square and looks really balanced.
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I’ve been reading a lot of sales ads lately. If I had $1 for every ad utilizing the following words/phrases, I’d be able to buy a much more expensive horse than my current budget dictates:
- puppy dog personality
- in your pocket
- 10 mover
- upper level potential
- stunning
- wouldn’t sell but I have to make room
- horse is the “real deal”
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I’ve posted this link before, but it seems hilariously relevant here.
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Dope on a rope - super quiet and easy to handle. Dope as in dopey.
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To your number 6, I’d add “Looks like a WB” when it’s a TB ad. It’s funny to me that folks default to that saying, thinking it’ll persuade the person who says your number 5. About 95 percent of the time, the horse still looks like a TB, and that’s PERFECTLY FINE!!
Another favorite of mine that means something different to a lot people is “ammy/junior friendly.” I’ve found that more often than not, at least with the higher price tags, they mean that it’s ammy/junior friendly if it’s in a program where it can get worked every day.
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Own son or daughter
Unicorn
Any ads that are some form of… my horse is not sound and really should be put down or I should retire them myself but I don’t like responsibility so I’m hoping there’s someone else who lives at horsey Shangri-la who wants to take on the responsibility of said lame horse
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omg, all this. “My TB is not emaciated and has some muscle tone, it’s like he’s a warmblood.” Yes, the horse is 12, retired from the track after 2 races, and has had the life of a regular riding horse and the appropriate training/feed for this.
@tabula_rashah, oh yes, the “unicorn” thing. Not sure when that got started, but now it’s literally in every other sale or ISO ad. Usually, it’s just a kind horse, or an obnoxious degree of specifications that the person is looking for on a budget.
@seabreeze–oh yes, ditto on all of those! The “puppy dog” and “in your pocket,” it’s like, why would I even want that? I’ve known plenty of nudgy, needy horses that were not fun to ride.
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I’ve never even gotten a definition of this term! WTH is this supposed to mean??
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