[QUOTE=foursocks;7556234]
I feel like the luckiest person in the world most of the time, and when I want to feel sorry for myself I do it and move on. You can live there, but it’s a waiting room, and I hate those.[/QUOTE]
I love this so much. 
[QUOTE=huntr_eq_blonde;7556008]
Yeah. I definitely won’t be losing sleep about ever running into you at the barn.
Despite my debilitating health problems, I went to a private school that let me go half days, which allowed me to sleep, do homework, and sleep again. (I was sleeping 14 hrs a day. Lost all my “friends.”) Graduated in the top 5 of a very competitive college prep school. Got into Auburn (top SEC school) my Freshman year but had to decline. Already accepted to the University of Wisconsin twice, but had to defer.
Thanks for the luck, but I obviously don’t need it when it comes to top colleges.[/QUOTE]
:no:
Serious question: was there actually a point to this thread? Did you really think that people were going to fall all over themselves offering you apparently fully-funded Very Nice Horses for you to ride while patting you on the back and telling you how wonderful you are?
Honestly? It’s the people with your attitude who give my generation a bad rap as being entitled, narcissistic, and self-centered.
I looked back through some of your other threads and I see that this attitude is nothing new. I’m going to be blunt with you, OP. Get a clue. Everyone has problems, some worse than others, and you don’t know anyone else’s situation. You have gotten a TON of great advice on this thread from people with a variety of experience. Did you notice that all of them, regardless of whether they show in the Grand Prixs, the 2’6" hunters, or don’t show at all, were finding happiness in their successes?
You need to learn to focus on what you have, instead of what you don’t. And rather than posting a whiny rant on a public forum and stomping your feet like a child when people tell you to buck up, figure out your life, figure out what you’re going to do, and DO IT. You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
If you sit there waiting for someone to hand you a unicorn, you’re going to continue to be as miserable as you seem now.
I hope you find peace and happiness.
How does someone with debilitating health issues ride 4’ jumpers? I have debilitating health issues and I’m thankful I can just get on my horse and walk around. I also see lots of talk of “progression”, but there seems to be little of it happening - in life or in horses. Lots of excuses though…
A common aphorism that works on a couple of levels here - “Attitude determines altitude.”
A person’s attitude pervades their entire life and is visible to everyone. People tend to be much kinder to those who are positive and upbeat, are inclined to encourage and support them awhile avoiding the entitled, whiny, sad ones. Just reading through this thread proves that point over and over. Those who are upbeat and willing have been “given” so many opportunities that others may not have gotten. But they actually earned those opportunities with their can-do attitudes and willingness to deal cheerfully with bad as well as the good.
Your attitude is helping to keep you from flying, and if you are not careful, it will do so for the rest of your life. It is a choice that each of us makes - every day. How about making a different choice today?
Three words:
Attention. Seeking. Behavior.
[QUOTE=GotGait;7556355]
How does someone with debilitating health issues ride 4’ jumpers? I have debilitating health issues and I’m thankful I can just get on my horse and walk around. I also see lots of talk of “progression”, but there seems to be little of it happening - in life or in horses. Lots of excuses though…[/QUOTE]
This has been asked several times in this thread…OP has yet to provide a response. I don’t understand it either.
[QUOTE=huntr_eq_blonde;7550830]
Where I leased two horses for 3.5 years, I wasn’t allowed to go over ground poles outside of a lesson. Barn owner’s rule. Practically unheard of, I know. It’s part of the reason I stopped riding there. And I would ride 5-6 times a week when I was leasing. The days I wasn’t lessoning, I was hacking and practicing what I learned in lessons on the flat.
I know other people have problems. I definitely get that. There are many so much worse off than I am. And I can’t keep up with the Jonses’ which is why I quit.
You are one of the only people on here whose advice I appreciate. Thank you. :)[/QUOTE]
Bolding mine. Really? You’re really quitting because you “can’t keep up with the Joneses’?” Honey, if you spend your life trying to keep up with the Joneses you’re going to be one unhappy person! NOTHING will ever be good enough for you. :no:
I hate to be the one to say it, especially because I also battle with my own health problems, but she’s either exaggerating her riding abilities or her level of disability. Or both. It’s sad, but we all know how easy it would be to use our personal circumstances as excuses for our shortcomings. Some people are victims and some aren’t. OP has a baaad case of “poor me” and, perhaps, an even worse case of “lazy” with a dash of “entitlement” thrown in. I stand by my belief that you can’t possibly jump a course of 4’ jumps (or even half that height) if you’re incapable of even sitting in a classroom and paying attention to a lecture.
OP, do you really LOVE riding? Reading your posts, I feel that you just enjoy the thrill of saying that you jump big jumps. I am close to your age. I have been showing at 2’6" for 8 YEARS on and off due to the fact that I could never afford my own horse. I never threw a pity party for myself. I was a working student in high school, because my parents couldn’t pay for me to ride. I am now a college student that also works, and I can afford to 1/2 lease a nice 2’6"-3’ horse and to keep my baby horse at the same barn where she will eventually go into training. Nobody handed that stuff to me… I worked hard for it! I still enjoy every opportunity I have to hang out at the barn and watch other people ride, or to hack around a school pony. Every time I ride a different horse, I learn something new, even if it is just jumping a school horse over crossrails. I’m still progressing even if I haven’t jumped 4’6". Jump height is not a measure of progress.
[QUOTE=The Fault In Our Stars;7556058]
THIS is why you do not have the 4ft+ horses’ owners lined up at your door. THIS is why you don’t have your trainer bending over backwards to help you out. Your attitude REEKS. You are so used to having a damn silver spoon in your mouth that you don’t even know what hard work is. Honestly, I feel sorry for you. I may not have the money to show much at all, let alone 4ft jumpers, but I have worked for every ride I’ve gotten and I’m HAPPY and PROUD of my accomplishments. You HAVE a lot and all you can do is be ungrateful and whine about not having those horses/trainers line up at your door? I have absolutely no sympathy for you.
And bragging about the colleges you got into… :rolleyes: cool. You aren’t in college because you want to go to an Ivy League school and you haven’t gotten in. Please. Get over yourself. Have you watched the show Gossip Girl? You my friend are Blair Waldorf. You don’t know the character I’m talking about? You’re 24, I’m sure you’ve seen the show.
Finally, you have gotten WONDERFUL advice throughout this thread, and instead of graciously accepting the advice and saying thank you, you’ve come up with every. excuse. in. the. book. about why it can’t work. If you came on here to have a pity party, maybe you should have said that in the first place.[/QUOTE]
I agree completely. A lot of us in the horse world are perfectionists in other aspects of our lives. A lot of us have gone to top schools. Yet, your posts just continue to scream, “I’m better than you!”
A lot of us have hacked someone’s schoolies or done walk/trot rehab rides and spent years, maybe even decades in the 3’ and under world (on the occasions we do get to jump). As many have said, that can be a fantastic learning experience, and those rides can really teach you how to be an effective rider which can only help you if you do make it back to the big jumps. Sometimes putting in all that “lower level” work leads to opportunities to do bigger jumps, some shows, etc. on others’ horses. If you act like you are too good for the other rides, though, you won’t ever get the opportunities at the higher levels. And before long, you won’t get the “lower level” rides either.
I’m one of those kids people got jealous of. At one point I had a string of 3’6+ horses. And I was not keeping up with the joneses. As my trainer once told me, she wakes up in the morning and puts her pants on just like you do. I went to college and riding was on the back burner, as it is for most everyone. I don’t think anyone should give up college to ride. Currently there is what, one younger international rider, not in a top college. I now have one horse, who I’ve had since he was 7 years old. He’s in his early twenties now and I can still ride him around bigger jumps and show. I lease him out to a 3ft rider because work necessitates I travel. I’m in a hotel as many as 17 days a month. Somehow I still manage to have friends, and a life.
Here is my advice get your butt into college ASAP. Every college I know of has offices of disabilities. If you have the energy to jump 4ft you’ve got the energy to be in school. I had classmates that were under full time RN care (full paralysis from a car accident) that could go to class. He died while in law school, but at least he didn’t let his condition prevent him from living his life. I had friends get major brain surgery and not fall behind in school. Get accepted into somewhere, even if you need to be a part time student. If you had been enrolled even part time 9-12 credits, is no more than 3 hours a day. You said you’re 22 years old. Had you taken summer classes all four years you’d either be graduated or very close to it, and there is no excuse to not have tried. If someone who has a feeding tube, needs oxygen, a wheelchair, and full time care givers can graduate in five years, and get into a top law school, can do it, what is your excuse?
All I can think of as how depressing it has got to be for you. You need to go speak to someone about that, and you need to go get your butt out of the barn and out of the house. Being in college means you can join groups, connect to people, and further your life. Even the local university or community college is better than nothing. Riding horses does none of those things, or get a part time job, doctors office receptionist, or volunteer with a non profit and file, or boys and girls club.
GREAT POST, Show Boots.
[QUOTE=GotGait;7556355]
How does someone with debilitating health issues ride 4’ jumpers? I have debilitating health issues and I’m thankful I can just get on my horse and walk around. I also see lots of talk of “progression”, but there seems to be little of it happening - in life or in horses. Lots of excuses though…[/QUOTE]
I stopped believing most of what the OP wrote a long time ago. Way too many inconsistencies. But writing fiction can also be a useful form of therapy.
How 'bout dating N.P.? 
[QUOTE=Show boots;7556600]
Here is my advice get your butt into college ASAP. Every college I know of has offices of disabilities. If you have the energy to jump 4ft you’ve got the energy to be in school. I had classmates that were under full time RN care (full paralysis from a car accident) that could go to class. He died while in law school, but at least he didn’t let his condition prevent him from living his life. I had friends get major brain surgery and not fall behind in school. Get accepted into somewhere, even if you need to be a part time student. If you had been enrolled even part time 9-12 credits, is no more than 3 hours a day. You said you’re 22 years old. Had you taken summer classes all four years you’d either be graduated or very close to it, and there is no excuse to not have tried. If someone who has a feeding tube, needs oxygen, a wheelchair, and full time care givers can graduate in five years, and get into a top law school, can do it, what is your excuse?
All I can think of as how depressing it has got to be for you. You need to go speak to someone about that, and you need to go get your butt out of the barn and out of the house. Being in college means you can join groups, connect to people, and further your life. Even the local university or community college is better than nothing. Riding horses does none of those things, or get a part time job, doctors office receptionist, or volunteer with a non profit and file, or boys and girls club.[/QUOTE]
This is wonderful advice.
I second (third? fourth) show boots.
When I initially posted on this thread it was not my intention to add myself to the list of people who have suffered from debilitating illnesses, particularly since some posters have made it clear that they don’t quite buy the high frequency of posters referencing their medical issues, but since the convo has gone in this direction I’ll share my two cents.
I was literally unable to attend school during my senior year of high school due to a recently diagnosed chronic illness. Through the work of incredible parents who advocated relentlessly for me and an extremely accommodating school administration I was able to do my work from home and only attend class occasionally as the testing schedule and my health dictated.
I did have surgery that year, which improved my symptoms, but I was still struggling on a daily basis when I had to make the decision as to whether I’d defer admission to college or not. I decided that I would rather try and have to pull back than not even try and be essentially homebound doing nothing for a year. (HUGE caveat: I realize this is not even an option for many. I am lucky in that I have flare ups that vary in severity that are typically accompanied with periods of relief.) I went to my out of state university as planned.
It was really tough. I had flare ups and couldn’t leave my dorm for a couple of days at a time. I had to fight with professors who hadn’t known me for the duration of my academic career and were thus much less willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. But through diligence, high grades and doctors notes I was able to take time off and do work from home when needed and make up labs, etc. when I was feeling better.
My senior year of college I went into remission and was able to maintain my independence by taking a full time job when I graduated.
Of course it wasn’t easy and I know that I have had it easier than some others who suffer from a chronic illness, but I cannot put into words how valuable it was for me to keep up academically and graduate on time. School was my first priority - period. If I was out of class I was in bed keeping up with the material. A social life, activities, riding, the part time work study job I had taken to take pressure off of my parents, etc. were all secondary and sometimes didn’t happen at all. It probably goes without saying that I was not able to ride at all during this time.
Anyway. Everyone’s situation is different, but even in the few years since I’ve graduated the possibilities for alternative college education have exploded, online coursework being a huge one. As a poster upthread said, many universities are now offering online courses with the ability to receive the same degree you’d get from attending in person. This is HUGE.
So ultimately, I think I agree with you giving up riding for a bit - but not for the reasons you stated. This is the moment to focus on school, your career, your future. Once you have that in place you may be surprised at the doors that are open for you in your riding life as well as your personal and professional life.
PS: This is neither here nor there, but two things really stand out to me when I think back on the worst period of my illness. I can really only remember my amazingly strong mother crying twice throughout the whole ordeal - once when I was in the midst of a terrible depression I boxed up all of my horse show ribbons and put them away, and a second time over five years later when I finally got back on a horse.
You will get through this. Please PM me if you need any support.
[QUOTE=supershorty628;7552885]
Can someone explain something to me? I feel like I’m missing a link or something.
One of the things that the OP said is that she can’t afford the upkeep on a prospect… but how is that any different than the upkeep on a made horse? I must have missed something because that makes no sense at all.[/QUOTE]
Thank you for asking this as it still does not make any sense to me. Clearly the OP thinks of leasing as someone giving her a free ride, that is the only thing I can think of.
[QUOTE=trubandloki;7556775]
Thank you for asking this as it still does not make any sense to me. Clearly the OP thinks of leasing as someone giving her a free ride, that is the only thing I can think of.[/QUOTE]
It’s pretty clear that OP didn’t actually mean “free lease” when she said “free lease”, as she’s said many times that she can’t afford board/vet/farrier/etc.
She was looking for…a sponsored rider situation? Something like that?
Thing is, I don’t see why anyone wanting to show off their horse at a high level would choose a rider who
- isn’t used to a “technical ride”
- has so many health problems that any school or work is impossible, as is riding a strong/pulling horse - seriously, that’s the last rider you’d want to rely on to campaign your top o’the line beastie.
