I’ve already chimed in a few times with encouragement and ideas (OTTBs!) and I have one more thing that you might want to think about.
As someone with a handful of autoimmune diseases I know that one day I will probably no longer physically be able to ride. It could be 6 months from now or it could be 40 years from now. I’ve found a way to do it NOW while I’m still able to.
Wishing you health, happiness and horses!
But her stipulation was that I couldn’t jump at the 4’ level until I took two lessons a week for two months so she could “fix the holes in my riding.” I know that every rider can always improve, but jumping cross-rails and 2’, something which I had done when I first started jumping, for that amount of money, was still too much, especially since when the six-month lease was over, my riding career would have been over as well.
Ok, This part of the posting made me want to comment. You may very well be extremely talented but if you are going to step up to 4’ and above on someone else’s sale horse and their trainer is willing to free lease in exchange for lessons sounds like a great gift frankly. You may think that you can ride as well as Beezie Madden but the horse’s owner and trainer may see some “holes” and want those fixed before they send you out in the ring under their name on their nice horse. If you want to be a rider for someone else, you have to ride as well as Meredith or Beezie and make your own rules, or you have to ride by their rules. By the way, 24 is not old but it can sure make a person seem young; which is how your entire post sounds: arrogant and entitled. Go get the chance back and do your best and you will find that opportunities come to you.
[QUOTE=huntr_eq_blonde;7549835]
One instructor told me I have holes…not many. But it was her way of getting more lessons out of me. Trust me, I know I have holes to fill, but I don’t like to be used. [/QUOTE]
Op , I hope you speak to a health professional about your feelings. Your thought process here seems unhealthy.
After removing this thread temporarily for review, we’ve removed some inappropriate content and addressed it accordingly. We’re reinstating it as a lot of users have given thoughtful, valuable insight that may be of value to others.
We’ll check back later to see if it would be better off closed.
Thanks!
Mod 1
[QUOTE=huntr_eq_blonde;7550793]
It’s like arguing with a Democrat. I can explain until I’m blue in the face, but for the majority, it doesn’t sink in.
Just want to clear up a few things, and I’m done with this. (Another reason why I quit is because horse people are so hypocritical.)
I didn’t ask to ride that one naughty pony…I was perfectly fine riding the less-than-stellar school horses. I was brand new to jumping, and my parents and I were beyond naïve. The trainer took advantage of that and put me on a bad, out-of-shape pony to make it better for the other little girl who owned it, as apparently she didn’t want to put in the time or effort herself. We were paying for lessons…paying customers. These owners got the benefit of me riding that horse. If that isn’t being used, I don’t know what is.
As for the first of the two horses I leased, again, my parents and I were totally naïve to leasing and what it all entailed. Horse people, at least the ones I’ve dealt with, are business people who take advantage of you to get your money. This horse was totally unsuitable for me and what I could handle health-wise at the time (as I had been still suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.) Yet, that didn’t stop the barn owners or the trainer (their son) from encouraging the lease. We later learned that the trainer had never thought it was a good idea for me to lease this horse and that he hated it. It had also been in training with him and his brother, who was short-listed for the 2002 WEG, years ago and was an impossible training prospect for either of them. If that isn’t being used, I don’t know what is.
As far as the volunteering, the director and I were friends. However, that is a personal issue that I am not going to explain.
And lastly, as I’ve said before, I can’t get a job. I’ve tried. My medical problems and constant doctor’s appointments are too much of a hindrance. People are going to hire workers who can show up consistently, not ask for any time off if a doctor’s appointment or if a medical issues flares up, etc. You know how the economy is right now and how older, more experienced people hang on to jobs that are beneath their skill set. Be realistic.[/QUOTE]
I have copied your entire reply because it’s just so good. I’m a democrat because? I don’t agree with your attitude? Hmm.
I’m a hypocrite? No explanation given, so I can’t argue with your (complete lack of) logic.
Many of us learned the most on bad ponies. Of course, your other option was “less than stellar” lesson horses, so obviously you couldn’t learn anything from them, either.
Your lease situation sounds pretty convoluted. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you may have been with an unscrupulous trainer who put you with an unsuitable horse.
I rode backyard horses until college. I had saints and poor horses I didn’t do right by. Actually, I didn’t know crap and didn’t do much for any of them, but some thrived on a lot of love anyway.
Believe it or not, my first pony was named “Flip.” Do not buy your child a pony whose name is a forewarning! I lead that pony around for a year and only sat on her when she was tied to the fence. I learned quite a bit before I outgrew that evil pony 
I got a job with a (now) BNT at the start of her career. The money was minimal, the hours exhausting, the knowledge priceless. In all honesty, I didn’t take advantage of riding opportunities because I was too dead tired at the end of the day. Also, I’d realized that I liked being on the support staff
At a good college with an equestrian program, you will jump 4’. If you’re rock solid in the basics. They won’t waste those jumps on people with “holes” in their education, although they’ll do their best to get you ready.
If your health problems are so severe that you can’t attend class or work, then I’m terribly sorry for you but you shouldn’t have a horse anyway.
As for flexible jobs in a bad economy? I’m an experienced, educated, professional. I’ve been waiting tables for 18 months because I moved with my fiancé when he was promoted and I haven’t found a job in my field. However, I’ve completed a new certification, taken some classes, AND paid the bills with my horrific but better-than-nothing waitress job. Which, BTW, has very flexible hours.
Wow, OP, you sure are setting more people off you than you are drawing them to you.
Those crossrails and 2’ jumps the trainer was taking you back to are called gymnastics, excellent for improving riders at every level. When my child gets a lesson, though she is jumping higher than crossrails and 2 foot, she almost always has those thrown in there to work on all the things you can help change through gymnastics. Balance, eye, body position, release, etc…it would take a book (and there are some good ones already) to go over all the holes you can work on doing simple gymnastics. My daughter is 10 years younger than you and knows that going back to the basics always makes the higher jumps come together better. So don’t be knocking someone for taking you down a few holes in height to help you ride better when the sticks get bigger.
You don’t sound like you got used growing up either. We all have stories exactly like yours of being given the less nice lesson horse because we are the less important client in the barn, etc. But even the rich people with 3 or 4 nice horses letting someone else catch a ride on them get taken advantage of too…see the story about Ben Maher, or the lawsuit filed against Heritage farm over a pony, or the lawsuit filed against that Mandarino woman who allegedly imported several horses with a partner and then allegedly padded the bills so her kid basically rode and showed three nice horses for free while the partner actually paid all the expenses. Allegedly, mind you. Being wealthy with nice horses makes you more likely to get taken advantage of, IMO.
There doesn’t seem to be a reason you have mentioned that you can’t follow the advice of other posters and find a nice TB off the track to bring along from the start. Then you get to have the say on your very nice horse always.
Also, don’t knock those school horses. DD just showed right before Easter at a crowded A show on the back of a school horse (and by the grace of a fellow horse person) and was 4th out of more than 40 one class. That same schoolie turned around and did the eq with another rider and was 3rd I think. Before that he was champion 2 weeks in a row at another A show in our area with a different rider in the hunters. School horses can be the most versatile, useful, treasured animals in the barn. Three good rides by three different riders and ribbons in all different areas. Who would feel slighted riding a horse like that? Not my kid, she had tears in her eyes to find out she was going to get to show him. 2 years ago, a different schoolie taught her the ropes in the jumpers. You should be grateful to have a good, solid schoolie to ride. Save the lease money and put it aside to build up so you can buy a nice prospect, and keep taking lessons on the schoolies in the mean time. Appreciate what you learn from maybe riding different schoolies each lesson if you are in a barn with more than one or two. Your riding will only improve sitting on different or even “difficult” animals.
The only thing that will really kill your chances is your own attitude. If you are willing to ride anything put in front of you, even the dirty ones, you will gain a reputation to help you. If you move from barn to barn trashing each along the way, well, you may get a reputation of another kind. Sure I would love it if my kid could be riding for Dr. Parker or the Gochmans, etc, etc, etc…but that isn’t reality. Reality is being ready to work hard even if you don’t get to ride, being willing to school them in the wee hours for their real rider to take in the ring, or being willing to step down a level or two if that is what is available to you. If you really want to be part of this sport we love, then go out there and work hard for it like the majority of those who are at the top have done. I promise you, no one is waltzing around the 4 foot plus level without putting in thousands of hours of work. Guarantee it.
Right now you sound like you are intentionally creating your own stumbling blocks.
OP, you are getting good advice. LISTEN.
Just a disclaimer: I’ve only read the first page of this thread. I know there are about 9 more pages to read, but I wanted to say my part.
OP, I am about the same age as you and I have never, ever had the finances to show the rated shows without my trainers networking for me, catch riding the ‘less than ideal’ horses or becoming a working student for the trainer I wanted to ride with. I WORKED for my success because I had the determination that money was not going to limit my opportunity. Now, that means catch riding, that means riding the sale horses that are gone the next week, because like you said, this is a business. However, a good horse person would be HAPPY to ride anything with 4 legs. I jumped OTTBs that were worth 5,000 over 3"-3’3" fences because that’s all my trainer had. In college I rode anything they threw at me. All of that made me a better rider. Made me a better all around horse person. I never had anything handed to me. I’ve never had a groom tack or untack my horse for me. I’ve never had anyone braid my horse for me. I did all of it. So if you were that dedicated and determined, you wouldn’t be making a half arsed excuse about why you’re quitting.
I’m not sugar coating this for you. You’re not a 15 year old kid. You’re almost 24. You can handle someone being hard on you. Remember, success is not given, it’s earned. If you really want it, go and get it. Don’t wait for the right horse to fall into your lap because that’s not going to happen, but don’t give up because things aren’t going your way at the moment. You’ve come too far to give up now.
OP I suggest you forget about riding and take up tennis.
OP, I think that, at the very least, you should take a break from it all. Maybe not quit, but clearly you need a break.
You need to sit down and figure out what it truly is that you love about the sport. Right now, with some of what you’ve said, I’m concerned that you’d take out your frustration on whatever animal you did sit on.
Take a break for a few months, or even a year, and when you miss the horses to the point that you would truly do anything to be back with them, then start up.
The fixation with height is something that teenagers do, which is why people are saying you come across young. Stop worrying about that. Guess what - the people who show at the bigger heights almost never jump it at home. They do flatwork. So master that.
FWIW, I’m a few years younger than you, and I think that you’ve gotten some very good advice and stories from people who have “made it” in the sense of their personal successes, rather than worrying about the height of the jump cup on the standards.
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
OP: It sounds like you are burned out and need a break. Take some time to get your college plans in order - you’re still young and won’t want to go back to school if you wait too long! I don’t know the extent of your health problem, but I can imagine taking a break would only help your health. When you are ready to get back into riding, try a different barn. Do you research (asking on COTH may turn up a bunch of great options that you didn’t even know about) and look for a barn where you can take lessons on a “nice” horse. Don’t get hung up on fence height. Don’t try to fix whatever problem horses they have, just work on you. If you love the sport itself enough to come back, appreciate the horses for what each has to offer and make the most of your current situation. Look at taking a break as a chance to reorganize and prioritize your life.
I never post, but Supershorty said I should, so here goes:
OP, I think you need to take a break. From reading other threads, most people on this board have taken a break at one point or another.
If you decide to come back, my first piece of advice is to read. Read as much as you can about the sport, veterinary/lameness, horse show results (and what the winners say), articles about people who maybe aren’t the winners but do something unique, Read Read Read anything you can get your hands on. There is a ton for free on the internet and then you can subscribe to several magazines and buy used books off Amazon (or go to your library) and read them cover to cover. Learn the names, faces, trainers, LEARN the sport through and through.
Next, watch as much as you can. Watch live feeds and compare rounds, youtube videos of classes of all sizes and shapes, and since you are in a great horsey location, go to shows! Go to Lamplight and sit at the Grand Prix ring for an entire day and watch every. single. round. See what the winners do, see what takes a rail down, see where horses spook, stop, react, are slow, are fast, lose time, make-up time.
Now we haven’t spent any money (or very little) and are well on our way to an education.
Then, armed with all of this knowledge, then look up everything you possibly can about getting fit for riding outside of the saddle. There are great resources on the internet about eating better to ride better and working out specific ways to ride better. DO all of those things. Fitness and energy and health (I’m talking in general, not your specific situation) are a problem for ALL riders, especially the ones jumping in the bigger classes.
Then, when you have all of this done, start looking for a situation. I have an extra bedroom and have had people in her periodically staying for free and riding (and usually showing). The only rule is that you have to work as hard as I do every day. People usually walk away pretty quickly. I started with a non-horsey family with not a lot of money to support me- I have what I have because I have earned it and also been lucky- I am happy to share that luck with others as much as I possibly can and give opportunities wherever I am able.
So, decide what you want. Is this the life for you? Is grad school and a career in another field? There is nothing wrong with deciding that this is not the life for you. An example I use a lot is that when I was at WIHS this past year, I saw Tori Colvin and Syd Shulman school ponies for people at 3:30 AM and then go on and ride all day long and in night classes. If you think that it gets any easier, it doesn’t- before 4:00 AM, John French and Peter Pletcher were schooling ponies for clients and then went on to ride and teach all day. It is a tough industry and not for everyone. But, if it is what you want, I hope you will review the great advice you have gotten from so many people on these pages. Laurieacres and Claudius base their judgements on many successful years in this sport.
I was in a somewhat similar situation to you last summer. I’d been working hard for not a lot of return for a long time, and I was totally burnt out. I took a break, from June to August, and it really helped me see where I wanted to go in the sport and what I needed to do to get there. I can’t afford to have a string of imported warmbloods either, and I’m okay with that. I ride at the best barn that I can afford, and I ride any horses my trainer wants me to. Sometimes it’s being the crash test dummy on half broke ponies, but other times it’s hacking AO hunters that win at Devon and indoors. I get those opportunities because I’m willing to take the time with less-polished horses. I know you said that you feel you’ve put in your time with the greener horses and are now looking for a horse that will allow you to focus on yourself for a change, and I get that. The main reason I ride at the barn I do now is because they have some very high-quality school horses that allow me to focus on myself.
As other posters have said, I think your definition of progressing is based in jumping higher. This is a common issue for a lot of people, because the height of the jumps is an easy visual marker for progress. However, jumping 4’+ is not the be all and end all of being a good rider. I know quite a few local level trainers that wouldn’t know what to do with a 4’ jumper, but can take anything around a 2’6-3’ hunter course at a local show. There is a lot more to being successful than just fence height.
I don’t really have anything to say that hasn’t been said before, but I wanted to add my two cents. You’ve gotten a lot of great advice here, and I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to pursue.
[QUOTE=kenyarider;7551038]
Ok, This part of the posting made me want to comment. You may very well be extremely talented but if you are going to step up to 4’ and above on someone else’s sale horse and their trainer is willing to free lease in exchange for lessons sounds like a great gift frankly. You may think that you can ride as well as Beezie Madden but the horse’s owner and trainer may see some “holes” and want those fixed before they send you out in the ring under their name on their nice horse. If you want to be a rider for someone else, you have to ride as well as Meredith or Beezie and make your own rules, or you have to ride by their rules. By the way, 24 is not old but it can sure make a person seem young; which is how your entire post sounds: arrogant and entitled. Go get the chance back and do your best and you will find that opportunities come to you.[/QUOTE]
That part grabbed me too. Op said that
Finding a 4’+ jumper to lease without spending the GNI of a small nation is akin to finding a unicorn
…and then she found just that! Not only a free lease on a horse she says “was IT”, but when she said she couldn’t afford to show it as the owners wanted, that requirement got dropped to merely 2 months of lessons with their trainer - and OP herself admits she wasn’t used to the “technical ride” this horse was, that she has holes in her training, and that she doesn’t claim that she’s a stellar rider.
So…a free lease on her unicorn, and lessons to patch up the holes in her training so she can further progress. The owners were even giving up the showing requirement (which would be to their financial advantage if horse was seen to do well in the show ring). What in the world was wrong with that scenario???
edit add-on: Also don’t undersdtand the “dressage costs as much as Hunters at high leve so why bother” sentiment. Ok sure, but if OP is new to proper dressage learning and showing, she’s not at the 4’ Hunter equivalent here. She’s at the ground pole equavalent, which is pretty cheap. It might well take years to get to get her to a level high enough where leasing/showing in dressage will be costing as much as leasing/showing a made 4’+ hunter, and in that time who knows what OP’s financial situation will be.
[QUOTE=huntr_eq_blonde;7550737]
Unfortunately, BNT have professional grooms, professional riders, and assistant trainers. I would love to teach little kids, but that goes to the trainers who already work at the barn. Cleaning tack (which I weirdly happen to love), grooming horses, or assisting at shows is done by the paid, hired grooms of the barns. Any barn work, like painting poles/fences, etc. is done by people already on the books at a place a BNT would operate. And quite frankly, I would expect nothing less if I was a person who boarded and paid $$ to be in a program like that.
It’s all great advice, and I’d be more than happy to do it, but in the wealthy area that I ride in, it’s not a reality…everything is full-service.
And again, I don’t care about showing. I just want to progress to a higher level.[/QUOTE]
I am in a very wealthy area with some very big name riders and trainers (a few Olympian eventers and hunter riders that are usually in the top of the pack in the big derbies and pro divisions). And yes, many barns are full service/full training. But not all. You might have to look for smaller names/ operations. Just because their clientele list doesn’t read like a who’s who of the show world doesn’t mean there are not quality rides and opportunities to be had. I’ve had the opportunity to sit on some VERY nice horses as a result of making myself willing and available to do anything my trainer might need (and usually these tasks have nothing to do with actual riding. In fact, it has included everything you list above with the exception of teaching lessons).
There are some bad/unethical barns, but not all are like this. You just need to look, make sure it seems to be above the line in terms of motive, and then work your butt off without complaining.
On the other hand, maybe a break to gain some perspective is in order.
So where would one apply for this opportunity? I definitely will ride and not expect payment. I mean, I’m no pro, but a girl’s gotta ask!! 
Can someone explain something to me? I feel like I’m missing a link or something.
One of the things that the OP said is that she can’t afford the upkeep on a prospect… but how is that any different than the upkeep on a made horse? I must have missed something because that makes no sense at all.
I must say, if the OP got as far as she did-- competent 4’ rider-- without owning one and paying for the training and yada, yada, she got farther than most on no money.
I read about people who strongly believe that if you want to jump bigger than 2’6" you have to buy your own horse (to use up). So good on the OP for finding so many opportunities to ride bigger and better! That’s hard to do.
[QUOTE=supershorty628;7552885]
Can someone explain something to me? I feel like I’m missing a link or something.
One of the things that the OP said is that she can’t afford the upkeep on a prospect… but how is that any different than the upkeep on a made horse? I must have missed something because that makes no sense at all.[/QUOTE]
She wants someone else to pay for the upkeep of the 4’ horse, and not require she take lessons. Just ride the horse and jump big fences. Presumably, if the horse goes lame, the owner would get the lame horse handed back to them to foot all of the vet bills, because the OP couldn’t.
I also don’t understand how the OP is healthy enough to do the 4’ jumpers but not healthy enough to go to school or work. Frankly, I don’t think I’m healthy enough for the 4’ jumpers - my back gives me too many problems as it is - but I’m still healthy enough to work full time, volunteer, clean stalls every morning and ride.
That to me seems to be a giant flaw in any plan - even if she was so talented that someone would give her a fully paid ride on a nice jumper, if she’s too sick to work or go to school, she’s presumably too sick to ride at that level consistently.
In which case, quitting riding to focus on her health might be the right thing for her right now.
After re-reading your posts, I’m wondering if the trainer who wanted to ‘fix the holes in your riding’ was trying to say in a nice way that you’re not riding as well as you think you are.
There’s a big difference between ‘riding’ well and jumping a certain height. You may very well be good at getting a horse over a 4’ jump. But there’s much more to ‘riding well’ than ‘jumping well’. Good trainers understand the importance of good flatwork and solid basics. This would be a good point in your development as a rider to turn your attention away from jumping big toward riding well.
I think, for you, taking a break from riding is a great idea. Sometimes time away from something you love is the best way to develop perspective.
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