The Ultimate List to Rationalize Our Cleaning Habits vs Time Spent Riding

[Cactuskate]

[B]You are now free to enjoy your weekend!!![/B]

Things to say which can be used when entertaining to explain the state of one’s house.

1.Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

2.Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed.
Rename the area under the couch “The Galapagos Islands” and claim an ecological exemption.

3.Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.

4.Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, “What? And spoil the mood?”

5.In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.

6.Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing handsewn play animals for underprivileged children.

7.If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, “I’d love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”

8.If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that “THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes…”

9.Don’t bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, “Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident… I haven’t had the heart to clean it…”

10.Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh,

“I clean and I clean and I still don’t get anywhere…” I think I’ll take a break and check my E-mail

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

[Cactuskate]

[B]You are now free to enjoy your weekend!!![/B]

Things to say which can be used when entertaining to explain the state of one’s house.

1.Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

2.Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed.
Rename the area under the couch “The Galapagos Islands” and claim an ecological exemption.

3.Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.

4.Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, “What? And spoil the mood?”

5.In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.

6.Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing handsewn play animals for underprivileged children.

7.If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, “I’d love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”

8.If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that “THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes…”

9.Don’t bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, “Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident… I haven’t had the heart to clean it…”

10.Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh,

“I clean and I clean and I still don’t get anywhere…” I think I’ll take a break and check my E-mail

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

[Everythingbutwings]

That’s great

[Kaori]

LOL!

[Miniwelsh]

Another one for my fridge. does anyone have an excuse for the huge pile of clean laundry (and the huge pile of dirty laundry) that just never seems to get folded and put away?

Behind every good woman lies a trail of men

[RedEqHunter]

Hilarious! I immediately forwarded it to my mom, she can definitely relate to those.

~ Laura ~

[Cactuskate]

miniwelsh, re:folding of clean clothes

I have a basket that contains “Tshirts” for my husband. You know the kind that have name brand stuff on them, nothing with any class mind you. I never seem to get them out of the dryer fast enough to prevent god awful wrinkles. I didn’t think that was too much of a problem, they are just junking around T shirts, right? WRONG, he shows up one day to take me to lunch wearing this god awful thing that looked as if he slept in it. I about died.

I’m sorry, I have a very BIG obsession about wrinkles. Pitiful I know.

So this time I have just left them in the basket…maybe I will wash them again and guard the dryer. Boy do I make my life difficult or what???

To answer your initial question:
Why bother folding the clothes, they are just going to get dirty and wrinkled again.

“The older I get, the better I used to be.”

[poltroon]

The latest study on asthma suggests that there is a higher incidence of asthma among children raised in really clean homes, without animals.

And this is TRUE! Really!

So, see, I’m just doing my best to be a good mom.

[rusty]

I saw this on a refrdigerator magnet in some store. I wish I had bought it. “It is OK to write in the dust, Pleasre don’t dated it.”