Also, to say one feeds hay 4x a day is not much info—how much hay is that? One thin, wobbly see-thru flake 4x a day? (seen that before!!)
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Maybe the horse looks good because of the extra hay. If its wasted sure, but otherwise, barns should be charging for adequate hay. Hay shouldn’t have to be rationed or worried over to ruin ones budget. If every border was wasting bales all the time maybe I could see how a barn meeting might need to take place. Otherwise hay should be available 24/7 unless medical issues present.
Its not subsidizing hay when you are the barn owner. It’s your job to ensure the horses have what they need as the barn owner. Including all the hay necessary.
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Most boarding barns do not allow boarders into the feed room, period.
That said, my preference is to give my horse a small snack before I ride to make sure the stomach acid is all soaked up, no ulcers, and also at the end of the ride. If my ride times don’t sync up with barn feeding times, I’d want to access a little extra.
however, my entire life has been spent in self board 
with only a few months here and there at a boarding barn run by a friend, where I had perhaps some special privileges but was very careful to not dig too deeply into the barn hay supplies. As a lifeline self boarder I know what hay costs, how fast it disappears, and that it’s not just free for the taking. I was also feeding my own mash and vitamin mineral supplement at that barn.
I know lots of horses that “look good” bc they are getting buckets of grain to make up for stingy hay rations.
Basically, I’m agreeing with you that the horse’s condition is moot unless horse is a fatty mcfattykins
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Instead of hypothesizing, the answer is thus
I have been in bleh boarding facilities with fat and shiny horses, gorgeous facilities that fed hay that had been cut from the roadside complete with squashed beer cans and McDonalds wrappers, and every other combination. I have run my own boarding facility. As a boarder, obviously I always thought I knew what’s best; as a BO/BM, I always thought about a quarter of my boarders were sneaky little feed thieves. Can there be a happy medium? Yep, it’s called telling the boarder to buy her own hay. We can guess and hmmm and say we need more info, but OP isn’t obligated to provide it, and even if he/she did, posters may or may not believe the OP’s stated “horse is in good weight” or “horse is a solid 4” because some of us are already playing at “OP says ‘lush’ but maybe not.”
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Amen to that.
Buying my own extra hay was the simplest and most logical course of action for myself as a boarder.
I’ve got room to store and a truck to haul. Not everyone has those advantages though.
Now I keep horses at home again and horses get all the hay 
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threaten her with a hefty surcharge for the wasted hay
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I guess you do not run a barn?
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I must have missed in the OP where it said the hay is wasted?
Obviously OP can make whatever rules she likes in her barn, but it’s entirely possible the extra hay is in the best interest of the horse’s welfare.
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there are different mindsets in horse keeping however modern owners tend to keep their horses too fat for one.
second, there is the economy of hay. If you don’t farm it yourself you pay a premium for it, and if you farm it yourself you still have to pay labor and diesel to get it in (along with field upkeep)
Although feeding extra hay is probably the least annoying thing, you feed a couple of flakes here and there everyday it adds up to a bale fast. And then another and another. That is extra $$$ for which the barn owner has to budget. So, if you are not happy with the feed, you talk with the BO, and then decide if you pay extra or bring your own.
Then of course there is the other problem of overfeeding (which leads me to believe that the horse in question simply does not need that much feed) is founder (as mentioned in the OP) and perhaps colic as well.
Which can in turn lead to an emergency for which the BO will have to set labor aside (calling a vet, handwalking, or what have you)
I think we have agreed that boarding barns run on a slim profit margin. The extra is cutting into that calculation.
And yes, a lot of modern owners think it is ok to bed with hay, the greener the better.
Again, if you grow it or pay for it, more power to you.
The BO has the right to charge you for it.
because it is a business.
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Of course the BO has a right to charge whatever she likes or makes whatever rules she likes.
When I read the OP it seemed downright vague as to what the HO’s motivation for feeding more hay was and what the BO’s objection was.
Many horses are fat. Many are skinny. Many are getting too little hay and too much grain.
Naturally we don’t know the exact situation that the OP is in, but we are discussing the possible scenarios here as expected on a discussion board.
Possibly the HO is clueless and wasting hay Willy nilly. Possibly the BO is dishing out meager portions.
TBH your tirade about hay costs read as pretty condescending. I’d wager the vast majority of posters here are intimately familiar with hay costs.
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the boarders might not be.
and I doubt the ‘vast’ majority knows hay prices as intimately as they think they do.
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I am with Beowulf on the “lush” one acre pastures that are housing multiple horses. Unless you are managing those pastures very carefully and removing manure frequently they may not have as much feed value as you might think. Especially if the horses are out on them 24/7.
Now about the hay. I do feel that horses need roughage in front of them at almost all times. I say that because I limit my one mare’s hay. She COULD go outside and eat grass. But bugs - so she stands there all pitiful like and inhales the hay she gets. She goes out at night and makes up for it.
I can see the wastage issue for the barn owner. Hay is pretty steep these days and it is a pain to deal with. If I was buying it I would not be happy to see it wasted. But 2-3 flakes is about an hours work for the Fatgirl. And the very minimum if the horse is inside with no other source of roughage.
Since I am not there to see what is actually going on I will hold judgement on both sides.
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There are 8 1-acre pastures, and a 6 acre pasture, along with 3 drylots, all for 14 horses.
We have no idea how many hours/day horses are in either of these 3 types of lots.
Are the horses put up at 8 when they close the barn?
Is hay being put out in “lush” pastures 4 times a day and if so, is the hay being eaten?
When exactly are they in those pastures?
So many questions about amount of hay and hours on grass.
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I was at a barn for a short while that had a very nice lush green pasture that the horses were only allowed out on if the weather and ground conditions were perfect. The barn owner liked to talk about how nice and lush it was too which was comical. 90% of the time they were in too small of a dry lot with hay tossed.
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I didn’t say the boarders were, I said the vast majority of posters here on this forum. Perhaps I have a better opinion of the community here.
But to be clear, I do think the majority of horse owners (boarders or not) understand hay costs money. IME it’s the facility and labor costs that boarders are more likely underestimate.
Staying on topic, the OP’s request for thoughts on how to handle her situation. I doubt that approaching her client with a condescending attitude is a professional or productive approach.
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Who said anything about condescending? Other than you?
The OP said she has had the talk with the boarder before, mentioned stuff like laminitis.
So they now have to become clearer in the expression of the rules.
Well sure I mentioned it describing your tirade on hay costs. And as an example of what not to do.
OP says she’s made some comments to HO, none of which were “you can’t do this anymore”. If OP doesn’t want HO to do this anymore then she should say so of course. Seems like OP isn’t sure that’s what she wants though since they started a discussion post.
I think the OP knows what they want to do, but they want to know how to deal with the situation. I would guess the OP is very non-confrontational so they don’t want to just say ‘please stop putting more hay out’, they want to be able to give a good reason why the owner should not be putting more hay out.
Here are my rambling thoughts on so many reasons why owners tossing more hay can be an issue for a barn owner. Before I ramble I will say that I feed unlimited hay, so I have lots of experience with feeding lots of hay.
All the hay they want means they leave a mess. Instead of picking up the pieces they drop or spread around they leave them there because there is other hay to eat so why bother. Hay mess can lead to pasture/paddock mess, which is one more thing for the barn owner to clean up. Now, I suppose if you live in a climate where leaving extra organic matter on the ground to hold moisture will not lead to your grass dying, footing turning to mud or any other various issues then this does not apply.
The crazy cost of boarders randomly tossing extra hay to Dobbin has already been covered.
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