Thought I would never change barns

[AnastasiaBeaverhousen]

Glad your boy is doing so well.
From the OP I get the impression that what is sticking in your craw is the fact that you used to be friends and that you helped her out when she was just starting out.

I totally understand your desire to get back at her for the way she treated your horse and what you perceive to be a lack of gratitude.

Take the high road on this one and dont look back.

You can write her and express your dissatisfaction about her lack of care and let it go at that.

Getting the legal system involved will just create more tension and you probably wont win very much when you consider the time and emotional effort you will have to invest into a legal case.

It is very difficult to prove to a legal standard that the BO is responsible for your horse’s lameness.

For your own sake you should pay what you owe and be done with it.

You are most likely never going get what you are really looking for, which is an admission of responsibility from your old BO and an apology.

Hope this helps

[quietann]

I agree with everyone else. Pay the old BO, walk away.

I have been in a barn where the BO was burned out and wanting to sell. It was very sad, because that was a happy barn. It was a contributing factor in my decision to leave.

What I worry about is that sooner or later, all the BO’s will burn out. Not being able to get good staff seems to be a major contributor.

[WildGooseChase]

I would just pay her to get her off your back and out of your life. It’s always better to flood people like this with kindness as most of them get flustered LOL

If you’re willing to sink money into it and can prove that she violated her own contract in some way, then small claims court is always an option, but you’ll end up paying far more in fees than the original bill.

[candyappy]

@walktrot

This is the way life should be. I wish every horse could have such a caring BO. Their elderly mare is in her mid-20s. He is 26. His day will come, the mare’s also, but I know he is getting the best care I could ask for.

I was so blessed to have this type of BO my whole boarding life ( at my 1st and only barn) I am glad you were able to find it for your guy ( and you). When a barn is good you don’t mind paying.

[peedin]

$383 is a small price to pay for peace of mind. Pay her, write her a hate filled letter, and burn the letter.

[walktrot]

@peedin

$383 is a small price to pay for peace of mind. Pay her, write her a hate filled letter, and burn the letter.

You’re invited! It will be a bonfire. I have about 45 drafts in the Outlook folder. She is among the targets. Put your own name on the “To” line and her name in the subject. That way if you accidentally hit Send it goes to your inbox.

[ayrabz]

Peace of Mind I’ve decided is something you receive.
Piece of Mind: something you give someone.
She is STILL literally robbing you of the first, with all this focus on HER. Give up on wanting something to matter to her that just doesn’t.

[NSC_Los_Angeles]

Good for you and your horse, so thrilled for your new situation. I would let her take it to court and then just be impossible to serve. It’s sooooooo hard to serve summons! I’ve tried several times over the last 20 years. If anyone ever tries to sue me, good luck.

[walktrot]

ayrabz, you are correct. My peace of mind is pretty much back and intact. My horse is in heaven. It’s the piece of my mind

I knew he wasn’t doing well when I decided to move him. He was in worse shape than I realized. When I put his little signals together he was genuinely depressed. This was a done deal in 3 days - my only option with a possible backup barn. Three weeks later he has packed on the pounds with a gigantic pile of Canadian hay and 3 meals a day. The twinkle in his eye has returned. Everyone talks about his personality emerging. They love him and he loves them back.

I have a ton of her emails that document just about everything. I think I’ll create some subtle but snide comments to add to my Drafts folder in Outlook. There are a couple of things she owes me money for. DH owes me $35 for an extension cord. Maybe I’ll deduct it.

[sdlbredfan]

If you have not already found an Attorney, I think you should. Old BO will continue to find a way to be an annoyance otherwise.
I am not an attorney, but the obvious things that occur to me are:
Breach of contract. You were paying for services not received.

Dangerous conditions, and a known to be nasty horse attacked and injured yours.

Claim for Veterinary bills that were caused by the preceding 2 issues.

Barn owner was out of town unknown to you - constitutes negligence,

Please keep us posted on what happens next. Old BO
seems like a classic case of sociopathic NPD.

[OverandOnward]

@walktrot

Her behaviors and attitude have shifted so drastically that she doesn’t seem like the same person. Maybe that’s why this hurts and our friendship is gone.

@walktrot , this is just an idea to consider … but perhaps if you knew more about her personal life, you might see this differently.

If you moved to this barn in 1999 and have just left, then you and BO have been barn associates, as it were, for over 20 years. So I’ll speculate that a lot of life has gone by for her.

It is possible that some mental processes may be shifting beyond her control, due to the passing of many years. It is very sad, but some people experience a decline in their personal relationships, along with a decline in other mental activity. They do seem to emotionally forget some or all of their past relationships. This can even happen to family members, and even to a member of a married couple.

" … she doesn’t seem like the same person … " is a signal that perhaps she isn’t, due to no fault of her own.

There is a good chance that she needs empathy rather than punishment. You’ve managed to fix things for your horse. Unfortunately, it may be that no one can fix things for your former friend. All you could do is remember the good parts of the past relationship, and move on gracefully and sympathetically. And with gratitude that your horse is now where he needs to be.

[CindyCRNA]

The barn owner will win this in court. I have never seen anyone post here that skated on last months rent. Vet bills are what they are. If I could charge my barn owner for every vet bill for a nick or cut. It won’t happen. OP, you just need to pay her with a note that says maybe “Well worth the money to not be there anymore” or something but I see no breech of contract.

[sdlbredfan]

How horrible. Do you know what part of the country this happened in? Heaven forbid it is in Kansas City area (where I am, and am currently I hope only temporarily horseless), but if it is KCMO area, I would really hope someone would give ,me a warning via message about which barn and barn owner it is, so I would be forewarned. I have known and heard of some crazy barn owners, but it is scary that one usually only learns only through hard experience who they are.
Edited to add…Never mind, I just found out OP is in Maine. If anyone does know who/which barns in KC area should be avoided, and which ones are recommended, I would appreciate knowing.

[sascha]

Now you do. I hope to never have to do it again, but I left with no notice, no payment for my required 30 days notice, and an angry letter in regards to breach of contract and negligence and never heard from that barn owner again. Mind you, that was about 30 years ago. Things change.

[BigMama1]

Is one month’s board really worth the space you are renting this BO in your head? I don’t understand why anyone would choose to inflict this much stress and pain upon themselves for the sake of a few hundred dollars. Your horse is safe and in good hands. The chapter is over, so close the book. Pay the board. Walk away and stop devoting so much of your precious energy to what’s now the past. What’s the benefit to you? Life is too short.