I think it’s great to go meet some potential horses. Don’t take your trailer and don’t agree to buy on the spot. You might have a personality in mind, but chances are, you’ll find something different. They make us and we make them. I bought a horse that hated grooming, but that’s the first way I bond with a horse. She loves it now. I suspect the previous owner hated grooming or just wasn’t good at it.
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Oh, boy. I went through this just this past summer, OP, so I understand your worries completely.
I myself was very much afraid of making an impulsive, overly emotional choice after the trauma of suddenly losing a horse I loved so dearly, so I leased the new candidate, at the old barn, for a month before making a commitment. This meant a three hour drive each way (!) but now I’m very glad I took this route, massive pain in the ass though it was.
Any new horse will be full of surprises, but in this case I felt much more prepared and confident than I might otherwise have been, and the leasing period also helped me see the new horse as an individual in her own right, with hilarious quirks and weird peculiarities all her own, rather than just a stand-in for the horse that had died.
This is absolutely, positively, 100% true. Print it out and stick it to your fridge with Crazy Glue.
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I unfortunately will probably be grieving for years to come - it would’ve been hard any way he went, but with him being so young (in my opinion) and his death being so sudden, it’s definitely taken some time. Saying that, I think another horse will help me heal. 
Continuing to ride certainly has helped!
All of these replies are helping me change my perspective that this really is a new adventure. Something to be excited about rather than nervous!
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Was your new horse already at your old barn? I have tried to find a lesson barn where a similar situation could happen, but I really think I want a younger horse that most likely wouldn’t be at a riding school. A lease to own would absolutely be the preferred way!!
I most likely will start looking in the spring seriously, so that’s good news! Thank you!
I’d say my budget is definitely more OTTB these days - the market has made horses I wouldn’t even take for free WAY over my budget, and after my last horse passed so suddenly, I will admit I have developed somewhat of a fear (if you could call it that) of my next horse being unhealthy - I can’t justify spending more than $10k on such a fragile creature that could die or be lame for the rest of its life the next day. So, of course, shopping for OTTBs seems to have a plethora of its own issues… I’m thankful @widge has already asked all those questions for me in another topic that I lurked, though! 
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Oh, sorry, no - I must have phrased that badly.
My new horse was being sold by a trainer I’d never met, in a neighboring state. I went to see the horse, rode her and liked her, but didn’t want to rush in wildly. The trainer turned out to be a lovely person who really wanted the right home for this mare, so she let me lease the horse, at her barn, for a month. She even threw in a couple of lessons, just to be sure we’d be compatible.
I don’t know how many private sellers would do this, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask. It’s certainly safer for the seller than a trial at the buyer’s barn would be (do people even do that any more?) and it’s not disruptive to the horse. The buyer gets a much better sense of what the animal is like in various domestic situations, and, if you offer a good sum - I wouldn’t skimp in a tight market! - it’s kind of a win/win for everybody.
The only drawback here is money. You can’t do this a dozen times over if you have a limited budget, as it does add up faster than you’d think: the lease fee, lessons if you want them, farriery for the month - not to mention all the time and gas it takes to go back and forth to the seller’s barn. You don’t want to blow your budget and end up with nothing!
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