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Tips for Staying "put together"

Off Course
#122

My wardrobe is pretty similar to yours. A low barrier upscaling i am working on is paying more attention to fit and fabric quality. @Mouse_amp_Bay, your approach to fabric care is exactly what i need to see.

I admit i am thinking about this today because i was just at a work function where i was dressed appropriately, but business casual covers a wide range of styles, and i was at the low end of the range. Styling-wise this is fine, but I think i can do a better version of what i currently do.

I want to take a long term view also. Maybe i should start with boots, since i understand them? One black pair and one brown pair of leather boots that are of a quality that will last for 5-10 years, vs. whatever Chelsea boots i can find on clearance every 2 years? But then, will i actually take care of them? TBD…

#123

Boots - I’m partial to Doc Martens but realize they might be a lil’ “edgy” for some folks taste and I see some people complain that they don’t last well (the oldest pair I have is probably 8 years old, black, and it’s only been the last year-ish I’ve started thinking I should get a replacement pair the same color and that’s more b/c the sole is wearing out and I’ve heard you can’t really resole Docs due to how they’re designed/made so). I also take good care of my boots and condition them, etc. so that might be why mine last well for me.

My one pair of dress shoes are black leather Oxfords (Clarks brand, on sale at an outlet mall) that I don’t wear a lot b/c I have a pair of black chelsea style leather boots (Doc Marten brand but don’t look at all like the stereotypical Docs, actually) that work well for pretty much everything and are a little more comfortable if I’m likely to be on my feet more. (I think they might be a smidge narrow - I have kind of weird, wider feet, some brands I’m very much a women’s 9, others I have to size up to a 9 1/2. My mom bought a pair of Pumas online that were supposed to be a women’s 10 1/2, she went up a half size because Pumas can run really narrow in sizing and they still didn’t fit her like she wanted, I took 'em and they fit me juuuust fine and were really comfy so who knows there lol. Usually a 10 1/2 would be way too big.)

Also have a single pair of tall brown Ariat brand country boots that do well with jeans tucked in.

Even my black lace up doc martens that have the more stereotypical combat boot look are pretty versatile, if I throw them on with boot cut khakis so you can’t see the full boot they don’t look drastically different than most shoes I don’t think (side note I also live in a more rural area, county commissioners wearing jeans to meetings is not unheard of. Boots, period, are a common sight.)

I only have a pair of black chelsea style boots (haven’t really seen brown ones I like yet) and they work well with literally everything.

Good boots can last years and frankly I don’t constantly clean most of mine that much these days I think the last I cleaned any of mine was like, 6 months ago, easily. Unless you get them muddy you probably don’t need to do a lot. I’m thinking I should clean the chelsea boots I have sometime soon but that’s because something splashed on them at some point and there’s some faintly visible splotches (nothing damaging looks like I might’ve walked through a puddle or some snow/slush)

EDIT: Doc Martens obviously ain’t barn boots, that said.

#124

Most people in most jobs are not trying for much fashion beyond tidy, clean and respectable.

You need to start by thinking through the parameters of your workday. I teach college. I have to hike all over campus and stand to teach so I don’t just need flat shoes I need flat shoes with comfort and substance. Room temperstures are unpredictable and I have to cross outside to some classrooms so I need to be warm with layers.

I have a collection of woolen mix and match suits, blazers and pants mostly in grey, black, brown, that are now 15 to 20 years old. They get dry cleaned once a year in spring. I fixed some minor covid clothes moth damage and they are all going along fine. I also have a selection of wool or cashmere pullover abd cardigans of the same vintage. As long as you take care of them they last way longer than synthetic blends that pill after a year.

Anyhow, look at what people wear in your workplace, what your tasks are, what your boss wears, and the climate. Also what looks good on your body type. Blazers can camouflage a lot if that’s what you need.

I have never moved to online shopping so my criteria is things that look ok that I can source IRL and try on. But you can look through the websites for big retailers and plan what you are going to try on.

Gap, Old Navy, Uniqlo, maybe Target, Marshall’s, all have work appropriate stuff among the casual wear.

3 Likes
#125

I do the same! I work in a very conservative culture but we do allow business casual. About 5 years ago, I simplified all my work clothes into higher quality suits and tailored button down shirts. I don’t wear the suit jackets unless I really need to dress up. Boring? Absolutely. Never having to wonder whether or not I am dressed appropriately? Wonderful! It’s my work uniform :grinning:

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#126

Target absolutely will have stuff - more so these days than in the past perhaps, the one closest to me redecorated a few years ago and the clothes area looks like something out of like, a mall department store just in a Target. They have a little of everything there and while again it probably is not ultra high quality the one blazer I got there is going strong some 4-5 years later. Also got two short-sleeve what they call “camp shirts” (collared, has buttons) that I’ll wear in the summer months. I did tear a seam on one taking it off not too long after I got it (maybe two months after I got it? IDK I let it sit for a while before mending it) but was able to mend it myself and so far it’s holding - think that was just a fluke though as the other one hasn’t done that.

#127

[quote=“forfeit, post:126, topic:775869, full:true”] the one closest to me redecorated a few years ago and the clothes area looks like something out of like, a mall department store just in a Target.
[/quote]

A brand new Target opened closer to me, and when I went in, this was exactly my impression. All the clothing was right at the entrance, looked like a department store, and pretty much put me off. I go to Target for household goods, and those sections looked awfully small. Probably will not go back to that store.

#128

Again it depends on your workplace, but… I work in tech and the dress code is VERY low-key. However, I’m vain and want to look presentable, I’m still new-ish in this job and want to make a good impression, and there’s a lot of young people in tech and you never know who you’re going to meet :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

I have a couple of cropped black dress pants, a couple of jeans that fit very well (not the skinny jeggings kind from American Eagle or whatever), and a couple of pairs of corduroys in rotation. Conservative color sneakers or loafers. In the winter, I wear a lot of solid colored turtlenecks which are pretty inexpensive and I have a collection of nice sweaters I’ve come across over the years. I have a mix, some tennis sweaters, some chunky sweaters, some patterns. I think the key is to have a lot of basics in different colors, so you can mix and match and feel fresh, but it’s also easy to get dressed in the morning. Savers and the Goodwill are your friends!! Buy quality items used and you will have them a long time. I have pants that are older than I am. Someone else mentioned Uniqlo, I love them too.

I do have a relatively expensive (for me) women’s suit from JCrew I bought when I got my first big girl job. Perfect for interviews or the occasional more formal work event.

Make sure your clothes FIT and you will always look like you thought about what to wear.

@anon15718925 I have a Chelsea boot BY Doc Marten that I love. It has a little heel and black leather, and doesn’t give the “edgy” look IMO. I do have a few other boots of the traditional look. They also have a pair of loafers I’m side eyeing for when mine are no longer presentable.

1 Like
#129

I am struggling with this even. I have trouble finding slacks i like the fit and fabric of, in particular. Usually the fabric is too soft and thin.They don’t go well with boots, often. So i default to jeans. I don’t wear skirts or dresses at all.

After some number of washes, my clothes start to look really sad and worn. Jeans get a pouch at the knee over time. But i don’t want clothes i have to dry clean either.

And i don’t have a good way to “take it up a notch” for special work functions. The blazers and button up shirts i have were fine, but are now starting to show wear and need replacing soon. The slacks have always been the biggest issue though.

2 Likes
#130

Sounds exactly like the pair I have! They’re Doc Martens, I can’t remember exactly what style as I got them around 2018 but they don’t look at all like what people would typically picture if they hear “Doc Martens.”

And frankly I don’t really dress punk/goth/alternative and I find the lace up black and cherry red 8 eye docs to be pretty versatile. The yellow stitching on my black pair is barely noticeable anyway after I don’t know how many years of shoe polish getting on them.

@anon55755751 all my “good” pants for nicer occasions are khakis from Old Navy. Only downside is the pockets aren’t always roomy and they NEVER have back pockets (big deal, I have a large purse. Back pockets would still be nice for carrying my notebook in sometimes but eh I’ve adapted). They’re not flimsy by my standards (I have at least one older pair that I wore patrolling barns on foot when I worked security at a thoroughbred track.) bootcut ones will fit over boots if that’s what you’re after for “goes well with boots” and they do come in colors besides tan/beige - I have a navy pair and a black pair and while the navy maybe isn’t a perfect match for the navy blazer I have just b/c they’re made of different fabrics, it’s close enough.

Blazers showing wear - how much are you washing them, I can count how many times either of my two have been washed on one hand, I don’t wash unless something has spilled and stained them. I’ve had one of them since 2018 and I’m not entirely sure it’s ever been washed, maybe once, and it was bought at Target so not at all a high-end product.

EDIT: I did once upon a time have a pair of dark colored pants branded as women’s dress pants, those were not nearly like khakis, softer silky material, less structured fit, no pockets, I got them online from like Kohl’s or something and frankly HATED them and threw them in to go to goodwill at the first opportunity. I wouldn’t buy something specifically branded as dress pants, I stick to the khaki-style pants I mean like anyone is going to be close enough to know what material they’re made of and black ones are passable as dress pants IMO.

#131

What job you do determines how soon your clothes wear out. My graphic designer friend tended to wear out the elbows in her sweaters because she rested her arms on the arms of her computer chair.

All clothes benefit from care. I hang to dry my riding shirts and breeches as well as my button up shirts and any t shirt I value, also any washable pant unless I’m trying to shrink jeans. I handwash sweaters and dry flat. I only dry clean my woolen blazers and pants once a year if needed. I hang them after wear and they keep their shape.

I bought all my work clothes on deep discount mostly Banana Republic season end sales, and the cost of dry cleaning them annually is much less than buying new crap clothes every few years over 15 or 20 years.

You do have to experiment with different pant styles. If you like how you look in jeans, dress pants, suit pants, or even khakis can feel shlubby and uncool by comparison. You have to get over that.

Fit is really important if you want to look put together.

And yes. Dressing nicely is a skill. Looking after quality clothes is a skill. They aren’t that difficult but they require enthusiasm. If you resent the very idea of dressing nice or spending one iota of time thinking about the concept or have given up in advance, which is not uncommon, you won’t be able to do it.

Even men have to learn these skills as they move into the professional workforce. There is much less complexity in menswear but they still need to know their measurements, find things that fit, press or have pressed their shirts, figure out how to choose and knot a tie, etc.

If you’ve been living a very outdoors horsey life, or an at home life, or a student life, or doing manual labor, or wearing a uniform, or you don’t love your body and looks, it can be very offputting to have to suddenly dress more formally and easy to give up or resent the process and insist it happen with no investment of time or money or thought from yourself.

But that’s not realistic. Developing a wardrobe takes some thought effort and creativity. There are currently fantastic videos on Youtube about dressing for every age group body type occasion. They are worth watching to see what you like, and how the presenters think about putting an outfit together.

2 Likes
#132

Wearing khakis instead of jeans will make anything look a bit more dressy, but still be comfortable. They’re my go-to for my sort of uniform style year round.

1 Like
#133

It is interesting that you are framing your post in terms of resentment and insecurity. If that is a direct response to my phrasing, i apologize for being unclear.

For clarification, i am asking for tips/advice in the spirit of learning things i did not know at all (e.g. dry cleaning is only done once a year) that makes things easier than i assumed they were, and for identifying marginal improvements i can make that compound in time. I find the latter more effective for lasting improvements than e.g.trying to upgrade an entire wardrobe at once without understanding how to care properly for the clothes i am buying. I have been putting in the work you describe and have not been satisfied with the outcome, so asking for “tips” in this thread is a bid to crowdsource best practices others use and to expand my horizons.

1 Like
#134

OK, sorry if I misread you.

I’d say a really important thing to figure out is what colors and cuts suit you personally. There are some very useful YouTube videos on how to figure out your “color season” and your Kibbe body type. These are quite useful for women of Northern European background, but can be more of a stretch to apply to Asian or Black women. The presenters really try to be inclusive but I think someone needs to expand these systems.

You need to figure out what colors next to your face flatter you. Lots of us look awful in white shirts. And if you need a staple blazer, do you look best in black, navy, brown or grey? People rarely look equally good in all of these. Wearing colors that don’t flatter you automatically makes you look not put together. It’s quite striking the difference it makes.

As far as body type, you need to figure out what cuts flatter you. There can be awful blazers that chop off too short and show your butt, or too long and loose so you drown. Obviously the more height weight proportionate you are, the more likely you’ll find basic clothes to suit you. It’s also quite normal to take jackets and pants to a seamstress to shorten sleeves or hems if needed.

The Kibbe body type videos are useful for thinking about the whole line your body creates. And a lot of good fashion advice is about balancing proportions. It’s also true that the line or proportions change over time, usually in about decade cycles. So when pants go narrow or wide, tops and shoes also change. The whole silhouette shifts. Of course this happens with a delay further away from fashion centers.

I’d say right now we are in a moment where pants are getting more relaxed and higher waisted, tops are more likely to be fitted or loose but tucked in, and shoes can be a bit heavier. This is a big silhouette switch from the idea of very skinny jeans or leggings with a longer more tunic type top, and either little flat shoes or knee high boots. These big silhouette shifts are what make things seem dated.

Anyhow, figure out your colors and then your body type, and this will help narrow your shopping. Lots of colors that we like in home decor or just to see around us might not suit us as tops. And even within a color, there are so many types of blue, green, red (and orange and yellow, but almost no one looks good in those). If you get the wrong one you look awful and if you get the right one you glow. You might need to go into a store and just try on a lot of stuff and critically evaluate it. Go in wearing a simple outfit that you think you look good in, and decide if each thing makes you look better or not than what you came in with. If it doesn’t, don’t buy it.

2 Likes
#135

Clothes are expensive, in general. Feel you there.

What works for me is to find what brands typically have clothes that work for me. For me that’s established spending some time trying on clothes. Then I stick to those brands for the most part.

I like having decent pants in basic colors; jean, khaki, grey, and black. Basically the same for shoe colors. I’m into navy and grey tops currently with some seasonal color pops. Gold and burnt orange for fall, wine and dark green for winter etc. A suit or two for formal work events.

Skipping the dryer, washing inside out and in cold water helps clothes wear better longer imo. Wash as little as possible and as often as needed.

Avoid cat hair. Nobody looks put together at the office with a mat of cat hair on their shoulder.

2 Likes
#136

I like the advice to avoid cat hair, and I’ll add that dog hair (or horse hair!) doesn’t look that much better!

The best advice, particularly if you’re new-ish to your job, is to look around you at what other people in your workplace are wearing, and then find some version of what they’re wearing that works for you. After you’ve been in that workplace for a while and people know you and your work, you can then feel freer to express more individuality in how you’re dressed.

You should also re-evaluate your wardrobe from time to time: clothes–including both cut and color–do go in and out of style. Plus, as you age, some types of clothing may no longer suit you or suit your job title.

And there’s no need to dress just in black, gray, and tan colored clothing. You buy a couple of more expensive pieces in these neutral colors and then add color with less expensive (and perhaps more trendy) pieces: So, for example, black pants with a colorful or patterned top or taupe pants with a black sweater and a bright scarf.

1 Like
#137

This is not a “put together” question, but I am throwing it out there anyway.

When I moved my retired mare, I gave up the luxurious heated tackroom, indoor arena, and for G-d’s sake I kid you not, bathroom with radiant floor heating. Mare is out 24/7 and in an open, windy area so… yikes, it gets cold. There is small barn I can bring her to if I need it, but generally I don’t.

So I am looking for a “top layer” – some sort of coat that I can wear over my other layers (longjohn top or mockneck, flannel shirt, and quilted vest, sometimes a hoodie). Wind- and water-proof, hip level, no down fill, but insulated. It does not need heavy insulation, just some. I am short and heavy – 5’1" and a size 14 petite, and wide-hipped. Pockets are good.

Gloves: I have a bad hand which makes glove fitting very hard. I also (probably) have Reynaud’s so my fingers are always icy cold. I have SSG fleece gloves and I tuck handwarmers in the palms, but they are not windproof obviously, and often not warm enough. I have tried on some heated gloves, but anything I can get my fingers into has very long fingers. So I need warm, windproof, stretchy (I cannot straighten two of my fingers), and most important, pull-on. No wrist fasteners, velcro or otherwise. Touch-screen friendly is ideal… I am basically looking for something I won’t have to take off while out at the barn. I usually wear a womens large or extra-large; I have to go up a size to accommodate my fingers.

I am not riding but I do take my mare for walks, if that matters.

#138

There are very nice knee length parkas that are water proof and thinsulite not down. I have one by McKinley, but Columbia is also a good brand. There’s another thread right now about keeping warm that has coat ideas.

1 Like
#139

I know this is not exactly what you asked for, but have you tried thin leather gloves or riding gloves with fleece or leather with flannel lining mittens over them? Warmer than anything I’ve ever tried, and not so hard to get out of them to send a quick text or unsnap something.

#140

The thing that works well for me are neoprene surgical gloves with almost any glove over them. If my gloves get damp, my hands are still warm. I usually just put those brown cotton work gloves that are $1.50 a pair and I’m just fine. I hope this helps. Oh- a pluse is that I can take the cotton gloves off and do something I can’t do easily in a glove, and put the gloves right back on.

2 Likes
#141

I don’t think these are touchscreen friendly for more that pressing a couple buttons, but if you buy a size bigger they are amazingly warm and grippy. Plus waterproof.

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