Title says it all. And earlier in the week I had just been thinking about how much I’ve improved since I started riding again. Apparently today was designed to remove any notions of adequacy I might have been tempted to entertain — even my poor trainer was like, “OK, I think that’s enough for today.”
Sigh.
On Saturday, I had one of those rides that remind you why you love horses. Despite being of senior age and a past suspensory injury, fella was “through” in the places they’re supposed to be “through,” reaching under where they are supposed to reach under, reaching over where they are supposed to reach over, loose, strong, fluid, smoothly powerful … It was wonderful. After our ride, we hung out together in his warm sunny paddock and he stayed close to me, occasionally snuffling my pockets for treats, etc while I admired his handsomeness and shoveled his poop.
On Sunday, I happily loaded him up and off we went to my favorite beloved expensive trainer’s to show off his wonderfulness. He was absolutely dead lame at the trot. Might as well have had a broken leg. Didn’t want to pay attention to any work, head was in the air and jaw/poll were locked tight.
I have been too busy tearfully looking for retirement farms to ride him since then, but just got a message from the trainer who long-lined him for me today. She writes, “Your horse is just awesome. He was very good today. We kept it simple and he looked good trotting.”
I decided to redo some old horse pens.
Yesterday was an awesome day, sunny, cool, not much wind, perfect to get stuff done.
I only have six posts to set, get the auger mounted on the tractor.
Should take an hour or so, right?
Start digging first hole, a hydraulic hose develops a break, now an oil geyser is covering everything.
Get 30+ old hoses out, run to town to get them fixed, they are an odd size they can’t fix.
Luckily neighbor is going to big town for parts, I can’t see well enough to drive in heavy traffic, so he gets hoses fixed there for me, sweet of him.
Guess I can’t complain, auger worked fine for 30+ years and with new hoses, probably for the next 30.
But yes, afternoon little quick job felt like a rehash of Burns “ The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft a-gley.” 
Yes, I have ridden like a drunken monkey myself once or twice 
The good news is that your next rides are likely to be fabulous. At least, that has been my experience.
I had an instructor once who spent entire lessons saying, “There you go, you’ve got it! No, no, you lost it” over and over again for four years. And more than once or twice she would end it early by saying that we weren’t getting anywhere.
Sheilah
About twenty years ago (wow, time flies!), I had the honor of being the only person at the barn to fall off my horse at a walk. Yes, a walk. We were warming up before a lesson, I was busy talking to someone, and my boy tripped. I fell off over his shoulder, grabbing his neck en route and hanging on for a minute before eventually landing on the ground.
Embarrassing! 
Don’t feel bad. I’ve been bucked off at a halt.
But some days are just drunk giraffe days.
I was so excited to have a lesson the other week as my horse had been working well, looking great, etc. A couple friend were at the barn and came to watch my lesson and she was a fire red hot tamale. I mean drunk giraffe would have been an improvement.
But next lesson, we redeemed ourselves, but do you think there was anyone else around? Nope.
Horses have a way of keeping us humble.
I was getting on a short horse from the mounting block and horse moved sideways, slowly.
I kept trying to get on, looked like wily coyote all spread out in the air, finally let go and crashed big time on the ground.
Horse then just stood there like a saint.
I am glad no one was around to see that. 
I’ve had days like that. We just trail ride then. I swim laps for what I call my “water yoga”. Sometimes I feel like a stone. I usually get out of the pool on those days. 
I swear they do it just keep us humble and remind us who’s REALLY in charge.
I have had many of those days. The one where I’m happily posting along and somehow (still not sure how) wound up in front of the saddle and just kept posting my way down the horse’s neck to the ground.
Or the day when both horse and I were day-dreaming and he saw a small black dog thru the slats in the fence, shied violently right, flinging me sideways off him. All I could do was grab the side of his bridle and there we were - me with one leg over the saddle just hanging by my heel and one hand holding his bridle so I was suspended in mid-air and he’s bent like a C. we both just looked at each other like “wtf?” I forget how I got out of that but I’m sure it was not pretty.
Just when we think we are gods we are shown our feet of clay.
Glad it’s not just me! I felt like I was flopping everywhere last time I rode. My athletic little Arab mare has great brakes and knows the word, “Whoa.” She loves to stop (although she isn’t always great at standing for extended periods of time). I started to say “Weird” while I was riding; she heard the “W” sound and slammed on the brakes from the trot while I was in mid-post. Butt sank down and thankfully she kept her head up, which was all that saved me from somersaulting over her head. I was not at all prepared and she popped me straight out of the saddle. I caught myself with both hands on the base of her neck, and she very politely waited until I was reseated in the saddle. She seemed rather proud of herself for responding so quickly to her “cue.” And I learned to be more careful with my word choice!
I fell off my schoolmaster while getting on. Right over the top, face first. I still don’t know what happened. I kind of just dolphin’d right over his back.
Just this Tuesday I achieved the most wonderful right lead canter. It was like an out of body experience. Wednesday my hands felt like soup ladles attached to my arms, and my horse was channeling his inner camel. And there were like 10 people in the ring and stands watching.
It happens to us all.
Geez, now I’m remembering mounting a friend’s horse just before a class. Horse stepped back as I was swinging into friend’s saddle and I wound up in front of her HUGE thigh blocks. I’m quite sure it was not a pretty sight watching me get back behind those things into the seat!
I have just signed up with a new coach at the barn, set out to impress her with my awesome prowess.
“Well I can see what you are trying to do”
Ok, seems like we have a lot of work to do.
You made me laugh so hard. That’s a great description. And OF COURSE people were watching. And then they don’t believe you when it goes right. Because they have SEEN you.
So my OTTB is learning canter transitions (3-beat canter which he apparently never tried before his new life, previously only knew the racehorse gallop), and he’s so terrible at getting his long legs organized underneath him that he usually doesn’t make it to canter for about 30 seconds. Working on it.
A Ride-A-Test dressage thing was offered at my barn. I entered at the ‘walk-trot’ level just to give the horse some at-home experience with things like the judge perched alertly at C. And the unfamiliar trailers & horses & etc. that day. Goal: good experience.
Even though it was on his own place, horse was overwrought at the sight of all the strangers and truck-trailers and people standing where he had never seen people just standing before. In his warm-up trot, he bolted from his first sight of the judge. Got him calm-ish and ready to do his test.
Horse trantered/cantered all the trot sections. Volunteered beautiful prompt canter much of the way around. Test movements were supposed to be mostly trotting, but he did no real trotting in the test. Except for the walk section, there he trotted. Unevenly in a fish-like maneuver across the diagonal.
Judge: “Tense.” Yep. 
Still working on it …
Lol I almost came off just trying to get on one night. I was hopping on bareback from a mounting block that was a bit low. I over jumped to get on and just about went flying over my horse’s shoulder. Poor horse, I think I ripped out a fairly hefty chunk of mane!
They do keep us humble.
At this point, the majority of my rides are no good; if something great happens I am very surprised. My hope is to end a ride without asking, “Why am I doing this to myself/mare?”
Not riding related, really, but today the barn was quiet enough that I ground-tied my mare for grooming, tacking up, untacking, post grooming etc. and she did not move a hoof but once. This included while someone was blowing the aisle about 40 feet away from her, and the blower is normally something she’s nervous about. She just watched it carefully. SUCH a good girl.
Our undoing was after the ride. We’d been in the indoor so I needed to pick her hooves. Got 2 done, was just picking up the third, and she went flying back, and luckily did not take me with her. Over a mop being sploshed around in a bucket. A mop! And then she planted her feet and grew roots; even when the guy who was mopping moved it into the barn office and closed the door, she was NOT going to pass the scary thing which was no longer there.
I (stupidly) did not wait it out with her, and instead got someone to give her a little encouragement from behind (waved a dressage whip near her butt, didn’t touch her with it.) She went forward, but sort of squirted past the door to the barn office. My mare is known as one of the easiest horses to handle in the barn. Sigh.
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