Top Ten Quotable Quotes from the brain dead at small shows.

[findeight]

Need a little set up on the first.

“Trainer” at in 18" course in gate sends an approx 12 year old rider in. Does not wipe boots off. Does not wipe green slobber off ill kept Pony’s mouth and knees. Yells at rider all the way around, run outs, stops, wrong lead. You name it.

When awards are announced points at winner and loudly tells her student…

“She beat you because she does not take care of her own Pony and has a groom”. Just for the record, winner was a tiny 6 year old who handed Pony to her MOTHER.

Second contribution from the truely brain dead.

Another “Trainer” person to client and parents…

“You HAVE to learn to ride in a pelham and use 2 reins. When we go to the AA shows, nobody rides the Hunters in a snaffle, especially in the hack. It is just not done”.

:rolleyes:

Feel free to add to these so we can get at least 10.

[Tilly]

[QUOTE=findeight;3554999]
Need a little set up on the first.

“Trainer” at in 18" course in gate sends an approx 12 year old rider in. Does not wipe boots off. Does not wipe green slobber off ill kept Pony’s mouth and knees. Yells at rider all the way around, run outs, stops, wrong lead. You name it.[/QUOTE]

Being an ex-groom, and my own groom at shows/clinics, I hate it when people do this! It takes 2 seconds, people. Wipe the boots, wipe the pony, and wipe the reins. It’s not that hard.

Amazingly enough, I haven’t encountered any brain-deads at the county shows. 'Course, I haven’t shown since last year [can’t afford it], and maybe they were all in hiding while I was showing. However, I have known many brain-deads at boarding barns. Just let me know if you want some quotes from them. I’ve got an over-abundance.

[tidy_rabbit]

I’m usually the brain dead one, so I could only count up the things that are said TO ME! And I wont bore you with all that…

:lol:

[Tilly]

[QUOTE=tidy rabbit;3555065]
I’m usually the brain dead one, so I could only count up the things that are said TO ME! And I wont bore you with all that…

:lol:[/QUOTE]

Oh, come on TR, we won’t laugh, we promise!

[Moli]

tales too true…

I had a father of a rider from our barn (BNT and BNBarn) approach me after his daughter had a stop. He actually asked if they would “count that stop”…because his daughter had absolutely the best ride if you didn’t count the stop.:no:
Honestly, that is a true story!! Have many others, but to relate them would be fiction in most of your minds…

[Giddy-up]

I find the best gems come from the JAW trainers. They must rationalize for the parents why Pookie didn’t win–without letting on that they are completely incompetent & clueless.

To a pre-teen beg rider going in for the u/s - “stick out your boobies & booty”

If my trainer would ever say (or yell across the ring :eek:) anything remotely like that to me (or if I had a child), I think I would be finding a new trainer on the spot (or after said class). That’s the best training advice you can muster??? :rolleyes:

[tidy_rabbit]

Okay, I have one from the recent past which doesn’t make a monkey out of ME…

I was at a little local show with Aero. There was a warm up class, unjudged. It was the weekend of Hurricane Ike and the wind was really picking up. There was one jump, the out across the diagonal, which had straw bales and pine brush. The brush was really moving around because of the wind. There was probably 20 horses in the warm up. Horse after horse after horse came in and stopped at that jump.

I was probably 12 or 13th in the order to “warm up” and I’m riding a 3 1/2 y.o. who hasn’t seen a whole lot. I go in, walk up to the scarey jump, circle it, let the horse sniff it, and then proceed to ride my course. No stops mind you. So after I come out of the ring, a friend tells me she was standing next to the judge who was about sick at this point from watching people fall off, stop, stop, fall off, and says “wow, the Judge actually said ‘It’s about time someone did the right thing!’”

I mean, come on, how hard is it to predict that your horse might stop after watching EVERY horse before you stop?

Editted to add: and the remaining horses??? stop. stop. stop. fall off. stop.

[Pokey]

this is more of a brain dead rider/owner story…

I was a groom for a very wealthy family - they built a barn for two of their very spoiled adult kids. They bought old campaigners from all over Canada and Europe, for these two kids to learn and show on. One in particular was an 18 year old warmblood gelding that had been everywhere, had done everything, and won tons. He was basically a point and go grand prix horse that went around like an Eq horse doing the medals.

So we go to a show at the Kentucky Horse Park, and the man-boy goes into a high a/o jumper classic in the indoor. Proceeds to wobble his way around the course on the poor old campaigner who’s doing his best to sort out where in the hell the man-boy would like him to go, when man-boy proceeds to run him THROUGH a standard (horse never saw the jump coming). Giant bleeding gash down the poor horses face, and the man-boy pulls him around to reprimand him for not jumping, when he gets buzzed out. So we get the horse back to the barn, there’s blood pouring out the horses face, and we call for the vet. The man-boy is nowhere to be seen (he hopped off outside the ring and walked away without a second glance). Vet gives this poor old horse a healthy dose of rompum (sp?) to do the stitches, and the horse is swaying on the cross ties, feet splayed out, and we are literally trying to hold him up (to much dosage for an old horse I guess). Vet just finishes up, when the man-boy comes ambling in, walks up the the swaying horse (who happens to be a known biter - quite the carnivore), pats him on the face where the stitches are, and says, “Hey - I think he’s starting to like me! Look, he’s not even trying to bite!” And leaves. He never notices the stitches, never notices the swaying horse, never says a word about any of it.

[tidy_rabbit]

Pokey, that might be one of the saddest stories ever.

I did like your use of “man-boy” though!

[Pokey]

Giddy-up - your post reminded me of a similar one…

I was about 14 years old, and I was having difficulty sitting the canter on my little horse. He wasn’t uncomfortable or anything, I was just clueless and a novice. My trainer (at the time) told me, “You sit the canter like you’re having sex. Look: (as he proceeds to thrust his hips) you roll your hips”

My mother was standing there. Mouth. Open. Needless to say, she did not approve. And as I was a very sheltered 14 year old, his description of how to sit a canter did NOT register.

[Pokey]

Tidy - unfortunately, if you knew the details, you’d probably find it even sadder. The horse was ultimately inducted into the hall of fame in the UK after he was retired.

[FlyingSwap]

Don’t know if this fits or not, but I have a funny anecdote from when my NON-HORSEY theatre professors (a married couple with a 14 year old daughter—sort of my “adopted” extra family) came to a horse show. Now, I love these people dearly, and so appreciate them being interested enough in me to come to a show, but it was amusing to say the least…

First of all the thought of being up and at 'em in the great outdoors at 7:45 in the morning was a little bit of a culture shock.

Then we all walk together (me on horse) to the indoor and my sidekick/groom-for-the-day shows them where they can go sit. On the way to the seats, Mrs. Theatre Prof is heard saying, “Ohhhhh myyyyyyy! Is Katie going to jump over all those logs and trees?” (Shades of Horse in the Grey Flannel Suit, y’all!) :lol:

Then, when Elizabeth explains to them about the general goings-on, she tells them that they shouldn’t make any sudden moves or sudden noises if they are going to be right on the rail. They take this to mean that they must sit, totally paralyzed, and speak only when necessary in the barest of whispers. After my trips, while we’re waiting to flat, Elizabeth goes and gets them so they can come talk to me, and they TIPTOE out of their seats and Mr. Theatre Prof whispers, “I didn’t know if we should clap since we were close to the fence but wow, what a cool sport!”

And when they got back to where my horse and I were, they thought that bonking Felix repeatedly between the eyes while cooing at him like he was a newborn was the right way to praise him for a job well done…luckily he’s got a sense of humor.

[shawnee_Acres]

There is this barn in our area, we pretty much only see the riders at our district and state 4-H shows. WE call them the “scary riders”. They ALL ride with protective vests (over their jackets) which is fine, but trust me they are there FOR A REASON. These kids are taught NOT to release and NOT to get in two point over the fence, I mean HONESTLY they sit STRAIGHT UP over top of the fence and the POOR POOR HORSES constantly get hit in the mouth. These aren’t little kids, some of them are 16, 17, 18 years old. THey also GUN their horses at the fences, as fast as they can possibly get them. It is absolutely frightening to see. And all the while in warmup their trainer is gushing praise “Oh that was PEERRFFECT!!! Love on your pony for that” while we are CRINGING! So at the state show this past, one of the kids is on this REALLY adorable pony, that unfortuantely is absolutely close to being ruined by this, AND on top of it he is SUPER green, at district they stated he had been jumping like TWO WEEKS total and is doing the 2’9". Anyways, the kid goes in, pony has a stop or two I think, comes to a fence and jumps it STRAIGHT UP and STRAIGHT down, of course, becuase he gets NO release and rider is sitting perfectly verticle. The kid comes off. So the trainer is walking out of the ring with the kid, leading the pony (kid was fine) and says to the Mom “Well good, she fell off, she ALWAYS rides SO MUCH BETTER after falling off” I KID YOU NOT!! Wouldn’t this be a red flag to a parent (and the fact that another kid of hers wasn’t able to ride and was in a cast at the show)???

[Kementari]

Green horse goes in the ring for western pleasure wearing a mechanical hack. “Trainer” says to someone who inquires about this, “We’re starting him the traditional way, in a hackamore. It’s how all the top horses are trained.” :rolleyes:

Clearly, the word “bosal” was lost in translation somewhere…

ETA: Shawnee’s post reminded me of a favorite (and I use that word in it’s loosest sense…) mom, who thought she knew dressage. She buys her kid entirely too much horse (though thankfully the horse was forgiving), and when the horse is rushing around the ring full tilt at the trot, head stuck up in the air and clearly completely clueless about what he was supposed to be doing (OTTB with little training other than the track), she says, “That’s a beautiful extended trot! Great job!” :eek: And another day, when the poor thing is shuffling around footsore from idiot trimmer, “Wow! Great collected trot!” :dead:

[MissintheSouth]

We were at a little local show recently. I was watching the little 18" jumpers, which is usually pretty cute/funny to watch as it’s pretty much just a challenge in stearing. A little (6 years old or so) girl came in on a small pony. She had HUGE spurs on! Her legs were swinging around like a beginner, and the poor pony was getting skewered every now and then. You could see his little pony patience was being tested. Eventually he landed/walked over one jump, got stuck, and let out one heck of a buck. Kid was catepolted off and landed on her butt, pony just stood there and I swear I saw him roll his little pony eyes. Kid led the pony out of the ring to the “trainer” who said “You just weren’t kicking hard enough!” Right…

Another time, I was watching a clinic that they were holding before a local show. The girl riding I knew - her horse is huge and likes to avoid getting in a frame, so the clinician was working with her to help teach her to use her legs and seat and package his large body properly without just holding his head down. She was talking about all the errors in just avoiding these lessons by using contraptions and mega bits to make their heads go down without ever getting their hind ends engaged. The girls behind me spent the next 5 minutes talking about how if it was their horse, it would be in draw reins immediately - obviously the rider didn’t know what she was doing b/c she hadn’t ridden him in draw reins for 30 minutes before the clinic to “get his head used to being down.” I really really had to resist the urge to whip around and say in my best GM voice “You aren’t a learner, are you?”

[hideyourheart03]

[QUOTE=shawneeAcres;3555205]
There is this barn in our area, we pretty much only see the riders at our district and state 4-H shows. WE call them the “scary riders”. They ALL ride with protective vests (over their jackets) which is fine, but trust me they are there FOR A REASON. These kids are taught NOT to release and NOT to get in two point over the fence, I mean HONESTLY they sit STRAIGHT UP over top of the fence and the POOR POOR HORSES constantly get hit in the mouth. These aren’t little kids, some of them are 16, 17, 18 years old. THey also GUN their horses at the fences, as fast as they can possibly get them. It is absolutely frightening to see. And all the while in warmup their trainer is gushing praise “Oh that was PEERRFFECT!!! Love on your pony for that” while we are CRINGING! So at the state show this past, one of the kids is on this REALLY adorable pony, that unfortuantely is absolutely close to being ruined by this, AND on top of it he is SUPER green, at district they stated he had been jumping like TWO WEEKS total and is doing the 2’9". Anyways, the kid goes in, pony has a stop or two I think, comes to a fence and jumps it STRAIGHT UP and STRAIGHT down, of course, becuase he gets NO release and rider is sitting perfectly verticle. The kid comes off. So the trainer is walking out of the ring with the kid, leading the pony (kid was fine) and says to the Mom “Well good, she fell off, she ALWAYS rides SO MUCH BETTER after falling off” I KID YOU NOT!! Wouldn’t this be a red flag to a parent (and the fact that another kid of hers wasn’t able to ride and was in a cast at the show)???[/QUOTE]

Shawnee, I am somewhat from your area, and I know EXACTLY what farm you are talking about. It seems in the 5 years I’ve been removed from 4H, nothing has changed.

[grandprixjump]

I’ve got a couple here for your laughing pleasure…

This one NOT from a horse show…

A, kind of, friend, who claims to know a lot about horses, wants to come and ride my 12 yo Hanno cross jumper (read can be a handful), or the 6 yo Hanno mare I’m working with right now, was started 2 years ago, for her inspection, and then not had much done in the last 2 years. She proceeds to ask me why I don’t pull my trailer with my Pontiac Grand Am, and wonders why I won’t let her ride the horses…

This one FROM a horse show…

Not exactly a bad thing, but I liked hearing it… I was at a horse show at Foxton Farms in Indiana before I moved to NC. Went around the jump-off course, doing a really tight turn around a jump (think rollback, one stride and jump 3’), as I’m walking out of the ring, the trainer of the next rider says “Don’t even think about trying THAT turn!!”

[shawnee_Acres]

[QUOTE=hideyourheart03;3555239]
Shawnee, I am somewhat from your area, and I know EXACTLY what farm you are talking about. It seems in the 5 years I’ve been removed from 4H, nothing has changed. :([/QUOTE]

LOL glad to see I am not the only one who scratches their head over this barn! Some of their horses could be cute, but they hang their knees and jumpf rom impossibly close spots and its all becuase of the rider, and really not the rider’s fault, it the so called “trainer”!

[ParadiseFound]

My favorite quote EVER was from my father (he’s not brain dead, but this is kind of hilarious) at the first show he came to watch me in. I was doing a medal called the Horse and Hound and went in and jumped a pretty nice round. We were second to last, so I cooled my horse down in the warm up ring while watching the rest go when my dad signaled me over to the rail. His very serious question.

“So…when do you do the part with the hounds?”

I love my dad.

[Everythingbutwings]

Me, at ingate upon hearing my horse pin well:

“BUT HE WAS BAD!” :eek: