In response to your question re: disrespectful students, I deal with kids with attitude problems all the time. How I deal with it depends on the kid. I usually deal with it with a combination of appropriate horse to correct behavior, and apppropriate situation to make the correct behavior seem like the better idea. For example, I had a six year old that was very defiant and would purposedly do the opposite of what I asked her. I would tell her to not yank on the reins of her pony. She would turn and look at me and purposely jerk as hard as she could on the reins. It was a definat “you can’t tell me what to do”. I solved that problem by taking her off the pony and putting her on a crusty old mare that , while she was safe, would not put up with that behavior–yank on her reins and she would jerk you out of the saddle by slamming her head down. I told her not to jerk on her reins, or she would pull on her. She did the same thing–looked at me and yanked–and that mare jerked her head down so hard and fast she pulled the little six year old up onto her neck–it set that girl back some, let me tell you. I just said “I told you”. I had no more problem with her yanking on reins. She begged to be put back on the pony, but I made her ride that old mare until she was ready to promise not to repeat her behavior.
I had another kid that would decide he wasn’t doing whatever he was supposed to do–one day it was ride at all during summer camp. His statement to me was “I was not his boss and couldn’t tell him what to do” He was seven years old. I made him still tack the pony and go out to the ring for the lesson–he was insisting he wasn’t going to ride (this wasn’t that he didn’t want to, this was just defiance). I said “ok, but you have to participate. You need to lead your pony around the ring with everyone else who is riding”. He marched off leading his pony, and when it was time fo0r the riders to trot, I told him he had to trot his pony, too. This was the middle of the summer, and he was dressed in full riding gear. After about ten minutes I asked him if he wanted to ride. He said no. So I didn’t ask him again. After about twenty minutes of leading the pony around at a trot, he speaks up and says “um, would it be o.k. if I rode?” I never had another problem with the kid.
I have had at least two kids get off their horses, sit on the ground and throw a temper tantrum. I have had kids talk back to me. The most recent one I stopped, brought in the middle of the ring, and gave him a lecture on how he was to treat me. For him, that worked. For another that I had, we came to a truce after she pitched a tantrum and I, in exasperation, said “:just because you look like you are seven, doesn’t mean you need to act like it” It was probably not the right thing to say–she was a teen, and very tiny for her age, and sensitive to it…but even though she was spitting mad at me when I said that to her, it was a turning point and after that she stopped talking back to me, and she went on to become a good rider, winning her eq final.
Many of these kids that talked back to me did not treat their parents well, either. A couple of times I have made the kids apologize to the parents for their behavior toward them–one when he was striking the parent (child was seven), another for back talking so badly. As a rule, all these kids wanted to ride. But the first girl, the one who yanked on the pony’s reins, really didn’t want to but her parents insisted. Again, my solution worked and she came around for me for the time she was there.
If they don’t respect the horse because the horse is too easy, I put them on a harder horse. If they don’t respect the horse because they think whatever issue they are having is the horse’s fault, we will explain/show them it is not–for example, put another rider on the horse that can accomplish whatever is being asked, or video tape the student making the mistake so they can see it.
Hope this helps. If you want to be more specific, I might be able to come up with a suggestion.
