Hi Kira, hope you don’t mind but I wanted to write to you privately. I had a major jumping accident 3 years ago and had a TBI which I recovered from, except it did impact my vision. I have oculomotor nerve palsy in one eye. I am wondering how your vision was impacted? Also, did your ground accident involve your horse? Would you mind sharing what happened?
I have my two OTTBs in a farm across the street. It’s a super quiet farm with only one other boarder. I must admit that the bond I’ve developed with my horses is very strong now and I do ride out in the fields and love it. But I am always afraid of falling again and definitely understand your trauma. Take baby steps. Wear your helmet all the time, even on the ground. Challenge yourself to get confident on the ground again and spend and enjoy time brushing, cleaning tack, pulling manes, and letting them graze on a nice long lead line. Maybe do some lunging and other types of ground work. What about bringing in a local rider that would love some time in the saddle and letting them ride your horses with you there?
I ride a couple times a week and really enjoy it, but I always think about the possibility of falling. I’m just REALLY careful. I lunge a little under tack first to make sure I see what he has “in the tank” that day before I ride. Then I let it be a nice boring and happy ride. If I get “boring and happy” in 20 minutes, we stop there and take our time untacking. These “baby steps” have really helped my confidence.
Wishing you the very best, I promise it will get easier and better,
Martha (I live in Maryland)
Hi Martha, thank you for taking the time to write to me. What happened was, I was tacking up my trainer’s WB gelding in preparation for a lesson when he spooked, reared in the cross ties, broke them and fell sideways on me, pinning my head between his jaw and a stall door. I had right and left brain damage, nerve and muscle damage to the left side of my face, the TBI, etc. My eyes were not injured themselves but the neural connections between my eyes and my brain were, so I have imperfect vision that can’t be corrected with glasses or contacts. The neck situation affects the blood flow to my brain, causing an aura migraine that has lasted for years, non-stop. That means I see things in front of my eyes that aren’t there, clear circles in daylight and bright flashes of light when it’s dark. Using my arms at all worsens this, so riding and driving a car intensify the visual disturbances a lot. I have been to several physical therapists for it and none have been able to fix the neck issue that is causing the migraine and blood flow issues. I also have vertigo but can’t do the exercises to fix it due to my neck. The whole thing is frustrating because I still look visually the same but internally I’m suffering so much.
I came back to riding as soon as I was allowed by my neurologist, only to break my arm the second ride back (my fault that time). When I recovered from my broken arm my horse bucked me into a fence and reinjured the same arm. I retired him early and rode a lesson horse, who bucked me off head-first on my 3rd ride on him. Thank god my helmet absorbed the fall. Before my head injury I hadn’t fallen in years. I bought a new mare is who is great in some ways but a challenging ride. Moved, got a new trainer who was amazing at helping me get results but then she stormed out one day after I had had to break for seizures too many times and she followed up with a nasty email telling me to stop seizing or quit! So now I’m on my own. I think a huge part of me loved the lessons/competition aspect of it and without structure I’m terrible at staying focused, plus I will allow myself any excuse not to ride when I don’t have scheduled appointments (weather too windy/hot/cold, I’m too tired, the arena may still be slightly damp…). If someone were there to tack up for me I would definitely ride more but my husband works long hours now that I can’t work.
The groundwork thought is a good one, I have been thinking of doing the Straightness Training program and training my mare out of a ground driving book I got last Christmas. It would definitely help work on my relationship with her (which is complex, because she’s a complex mare and it’s not as easy to bond with her as it is with my past geldings). I really really love her though, and she’s the only reason I haven’t completely given up on riding at this point in my life. I’m really glad that you have found a way to enjoy riding again. I would like to hear about your TBI and vision experience, too, if you have time. Everyone’s experience is different but it’s such a life-altering thing when you’re a healthy person to start.
Thanks, Caitlin (Kira is my dog, and I live in Oklahoma)
