[Foxglove]

Oh --it is unclear . . .it’s a psychological “trick” —sometimes people have trouble forgetting something --they keep thinking about the dear dog that died --all they see in their mind is the dog’s last minutes or its suffering at the end --and that makes the person sad. So, you try to “link” two memories. When you see the sad picture of the dog in your mind -you immediately picture the day you got him --or when he won the ribbon for obedience —never picture the bad memory without immediately making yourself think of the good one. Eventually, the memories become linked --instead of remembering the dog’s last day and feeling sad, you remember the wonderful day when he was a puppy or won the class.

My point was that when I look at MIL’s picture or her furniture, instead of feeling sad/hurt/angry about our relationship or the lack of one --I should “link” the hurt to the joy my husband has brought to me over the years. Because --if it wasn’t for MIL --there would be no son for me to have married! As horrible as she was (to me --other people referred to her as saintly) she is the reason he exists and is the man he is. So --I need to think of that when I look at her picture or her things.

[Frosty_M]

Your point is good. Any way of thinking that works to ease your pain is good. I’ve learned over the years that forgiving them works best for me. Ann Landers wrote, “For good mental health forgive everybody everything every night!”

I’m not saying I’m that saintly but forgiving other people and myself works. i think it’s the lesson Jesus gave us on the cross, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” Also, “Forgive me my sins as I forgive those who sin against me.”

I’m sick again with this blasted UTI. I have it pretty constantly for a year but I have a new doc- hopefully she can help me, but she’s already told me she can’t cure me because I’m a post-menopausal woman." Gee, thanks!

You haven’t posted recently. What’s up with you?