Hey there! I am having trouble staying calm. I’m getting very frustrated and angry.
First of all he won’t do a figure 8 anymore. Not like he doesn’t do a lead change. When I try to cross in the middle he completely goes off course. Let’s say I’m turning right to go through the middle, he will take a hard left no matter how much leg I put on. I have had trouble with this for a few weeks and I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong or how to fix it. So I have had some trouble keeping calm when he does that.
Then yesterday at a show he saw minis pulling a cart and he was terrified. I wasn’t upset about that. I was upset because I tried to take him for a walk to settle him down and he was running circles and pushing me around. I put a chain on him and I still couldn’t get control. Then I tied him to the trailer where he couldn’t see the minis. I used the door to block them from his sight. Then he was pawing the trailer and swinging his butt at me. I think he just wanted a friend. So then my friend brought her horse over because he was freaking at the minis too. So they were a little bit more calm.
Alright so ‘how was I Acting?’ well I was yelling at him and I pulled on his face more than I should’ve. I knew I wasn’t acting right but I just didn’t know what else to do and I felt like I had no way to get a break and calm myself. So that was making me panic a bit too. I felt so out of control and I felt so stupid. Everyone was probably watching me act like a fool. I have some anxiety too so that didn’t help.
So we were waiting for the ‘ok’ to warm up and he had to go past the minis to get to the ring. And he was sidepassing and backing up and trying to rear. I was scared he was going to hurt someone or damage a vehicle. So I tried to get him past the minis and he trotted which wasn’t a big deal. So then we went into the warm up ring and the minis were in a ring right beside us. So we go into the ring and he was so worked up he wouldn’t slow down so we trotted around the ring but when he got to the side beside the minis he was side passing and backing up which was ok. I handled that ok. I just tried to keep him calm and walking past them. We passed the minis a few times and then he got out of control. He was backing into the fence which wasn’t a very sturdy fence not to mention the fact that there was people standing by the fence. So I was just trying to get him to calm down and my dad is yelling at me to ‘get him outta there’. So I tried to walk him out the gate but he was just backing up and trying to rear. One of my friends had to walk beside me to get him out. At that point i just cried of frustration and embarrassment. My dad was telling me to ‘stay calm’ and I felt so out of control and I felt trapped. I couldn’t get a break. I had to handle him. So I got off and walked him back to the trailer where he couldn’t see the minis.
I think I handled that ok. But I just got too overwhelmed. I felt like my dad didn’t understand. He was just telling me to do all this stuff but he didn’t know I was trying my best. I felt so out of control and angry at my horse. He is never like that. He is calm as can be. I get that he was scared but I need to have control even when he’s scared. I just felt stupid.
Then when we did our barrel run he wouldn’t go around the barrel closest to the minis. I was a little upset but I kept calm. I just kept asking him forward until he listened. He was ok with his runs for the rest of the day but when I tied him at the trailer alone he was pawing it. Which pissed me off.
I yelled at him to stop and he wouldn’t listen. I tapped him on his shoulder when he kicked but he didn’t stop. I took his saddle off and started loading him right away.
When I tried to load him he wouldn’t get In the trailer. My dad pushed his butt and he got on. But I was really upset with him. After his behaviour all day that was the last straw for me. I stayed fairly calm on the outside but on the inside I was so angry. I did everything I normally do but I just didn’t use a kind tone or kind words which probably didn’t help but I couldn’t stop it.
Anyways. I think my problem was that I felt out of control. I am looking for tips on how to stay calm. I am not good at it. I think my problem is, i feel like I can’t have a break to calm down. Like I’m trapped. Like There’s no choice but to keep handling the situation.
Thank you in advance and sorry for the long read! I just thought I needed to explain things well.
