I have not read the entire thread but the best thing I can come up with is maybe you are trying to pull him into a frame. My daughter was at a clinic recently with BNT dressage and she said you need power to have good connection. The head does not get pulled down. The energy comes from behind and circles over the poll. I would read and watch Mary Wanless videos. She is very good for the amateur or even Jane Savoie. My trainer sits on my horse and his head goes to the ground, with no contact at all. It is about how she sits which I am learning. SlowlyâŠalbeit
OP where are you located?