Friend, When you are sad, …I will get you drunk
and help you plot revenge against the sorry jerk
who made you sad.
When you are blue, …I’ll try to dislodge whatever
is choking you.
When you smile, …I’ll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared, …I will rag on you about it
every chance I get.
When you are worried, …I will tell you horrible
stories about how much worse it could be and to quit
whining.
When you are confused, …I will use little words to
explain it to your dumb ass.
When you are sick, …stay the hell away from me
until you’re well again! I don’t want whatever you
have.
When you fall, …I will point and laugh at your
clumsy ass.
This is my oath, …I pledge 'til the end. Why you
may ask? Because you’re my friend! Send this poem
to ten of your closest friends and get depressed
because you realize you only have 2 friends, and one
of them is not speaking to you right now anyway.
REMEMBER: A friend will help you move. A really
good friend will help you move a body.
