Curious what goes through other’s head when trying new horses. My first horse, I knew after trotting around one lap that he was it. Mainly I just LOVED riding him - smooth gaits and my kind of ride. I’ve never had that feeling again as I’ve tried multiple horses. I also know that development of the relationship over time is both necessary and part of the reward of this whole sport so don’t want to discount that. Currently on the hunt for my next partner and wondering if looking for that immediate “knowing” is too high of a standard. So tell me forums: how did you know you’d found the one?
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I think sometimes you know, and sometimes you don’t - but above all, trust your gut. Go into each test ride with open eyes and assume that the ride that horse gave you TODAY is the best they will ever go – and ask yourself if you’d be happy with that daily. I’ve had good luck tricking my more emotional brain (which can sometimes do things irrespective of logic) that way.
My most recent project, I knew when I watched him jog. His handler was 3-legged lame and that big young horse took the tiniest steps to accommodate him.
On the other hand, my late gelding didn’t impress me too much when I first met him. Decades ago a COTHer gave my mom (also into horses/OTTBs) a tip there was a free 3 y/o in upstate NY that had been disbarred from the track after flipping in the gate; his future wasn’t too good. He was this scrawny little thing with the expression of a soaked cat. 
I wasn’t wild about him but something in his expression moved me enough that I loaded him in the trailer. I figured if I didn’t like him I could flip him easily enough – he was a cute mover and small enough to be a kid’s hunter. He had other plans and lived with me the rest of his life - a very special, but challenging at times horse that got me started on the path of true horsemanship and listening to the horse. 
Good luck in your search. Above all else listen to your intuition.
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I get a certain little tingling feeling when I see the right one. Then can’t even consider any other horse at all.
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That’s very similar to the advice I remember from an article in Practical Horseman from years and years and years ago on the subject of buying horses.
You might be able to get them fatter, fitter, shinier, shod differently, whatever.
But if they never go any differently from the day you tried them, can they do the job you have in mind?
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50/50 for me but the very best ones were when I was not really looking for one and sort of dropped into my lap. Those were the best across the board. Some of the others I was not looking to keep anyway and all I needed was sound and able to do the job for eventual resale (not flip just not keep for years)
One of the most disappointing was one I was shopping for, that made me tingle with anticipation before every ride…for about 6 months. Then dreaded going to the barn to work with.
You never know but if you stick to serviceably sound, attractive and proven able to do the job at least they can move on and light somebody else’s life up.
ETA. The horse I got to replace the one I dreaded going to the barn for was just a nice sale horse passing through trainers barn. We used her for a couple of my lessons with good results. Trainer says…hey, why not let me find current horse a new home and we think about this one for you? Seller does not get along with her and needs to move her, what do you think? So we Did just that. There was a…period of adjustment…and she needed a good program for a while and blew abscesses that first year. Not only grew to trust her, showed her for 11 years and sent her over the bridge after 7 years of retirement. My best show horse ever and great hacking out or galloping all over the KHP.
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I have had horses where I just swung my leg over and they immediately felt like home.
I think you still have to engage your rational brain, and horses can work out that didn’t feel like that. But if I’m not at least happy and satisfied from that first ride, no matter how well anyone else thought it went, it’s a no-go.
IME as soon as you get the horse home there will be backsliding - after all, the horse is uncertain in a new environment, they start to react to your weaknesses and buttons, etc. So often the best ride is the first one (or first few) and then there will be a couple of months of What Have I Done before it’s good again.
Ideally ride the horse 2-3 times before you commit, if possible. If nothing else, it’s confidence for the What Have I Done stage.
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I picked my current one out from a still photo.
But most often, you know if they aren’t right. It’s pretty rare to know immediately that they are, generally you have to weigh some pros and cons. Even if they feel right, you still have to do that. The perfect horse doesn’t exist.
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I do think that’s too high a standard. IME, sometimes you know immediately, but sometimes you don’t—and both can work out fine. Or sometimes people fall in love with terrible matches. Two examples from my own shopping:
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When I was 15 my trainer and I went horse shopping and they brought out a 4-year-old stallion—obviously not what I was looking for, right? We watched him WTC on the longe and I was still meh. But the minute I sat on him and picked up the reins I felt at home, and that was it. My goal for him was GP dressage and, after a lot of soundness setbacks, we finally made it there 13 years later! He just turned 29 this week.
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By contrast, when I went shopping for an eventer a few years ago I tried a TB who was great on paper (successful at Prelim, always clear XC, single owner, not a great mover but accordingly priced) and genuinely couldn’t tell if I could even ride him. We made it over all the jumps but I was just so uncomfortable in the (very tall male) trainer’s saddle that I couldn’t judge the horse’s feel. I tried another horse but kept thinking this one was a better match. I returned with my own saddle, did a XC school, jumped my first Prelim fence ever, felt perfectly comfortable, and bought the horse. I still wouldn’t say I fell in love with him, but it was a great match on paper and I felt safe and comfortable. Within a few years he’d taken me from Novice to Prelim, so I’d say that purchase was also a success! (And of course I love him now.)
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I think you generally know when it is NOT a match, but that sunshine and rainbows instant connection is too high a bar. You get that feeling more often when you’re coming off school horses or something unsuitable and sit on something nice for the first time.
If the horse NEVER goes better than it does that first ride, are you happy with that? You can install all the buttons but if the horse is never more cooperative, never has a better attitude, never moves better, is never “more sound”, will you be happy? That’s a good metric to consider.
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Don’t do what I do, but I don’t need to ride them if decent video. I can tell which ones my trainer can improve on or not via video.
I buy the horse who I’m ok paying the bills on even if I can’t ride them. I trust my gut and adjust goals based on that particular horse.
It’s definitely not the smartest way to purchase expensive things, but has worked for me.
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My late ottb, I kinda knew right away. I mean, the owner brought him out of the stall and just how he walked out, carried himself and had such presence I was smitten. I did go through the whole process etc, watched him go but honestly, just watching him under saddle I knew he was the one. Lol to me getting on was a mere formality. After getting on and going over few jumps I was thinking in my head “SOLD!” He was the first horse I looked at and was going to be my first horse, they say to buy the first one you see so I did try to be practical and look at a couple of other horses. He wasn’t easy but he taught me so much and we were together for more than 20 years.
The ottb I have now, it wasn’t the instant “this is it” like my first guy. I saw his video and liked how he went. I can’t buy off video, I’m not good enough and I like to see them in person. After getting on and checking him out, he felt like a great fit and even though he wasn’t long off the track (he did some rehab after coming off the track so only had a few post track rides), I felt really comfortable on him and thought we’d have a lot of fun together.
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I can pretty quickly tell if I like a horse or not. As a child I would ride just about anything. Now I have a long list of requirements. I don’t want a rough moving horse. If after 2 circles I’m already thinking of getting off, it isn’t the horse for me. The horse has to be able to move well and with comfortable gaits and self carriage.
If the horse is choppy, leaning on the forehand, or downhill that is an automatic pass.
I like to test ride a second time before making a decision.
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Well…
Aside from my very green Hunter - 6,yo TB, never raced, ponied for trainers at the track after he showed zero speed as a 2,yo ,he’d won one Pre-Green class before I bought him - all my horses have been Science Experiments.
*TWH for DH to Event - I did a test ride, gears were wonky, not much gait. But he gave me a true jump effort over a landscape timber in the owner’s uber-deep round pen.
DH loved him from Go & he proved a brave XC horse, schooling to Training. Also trotted & had natural suspension for Dressage.
*Ginormous - 17h+ - TWH for myself. Never did trot, even in pasture. But he was a pleasure to ride from the first time I sat on him.
*COTH Giveaway WB - another 17h+ - former GP Jumper, so canter departs were shotfromagun & any attempt to hold him back resulted in a very light front end 
Working with my trainer (who got on once, then declined the ride) I got a lovely soft depart.
Felt like I just thought canter.
*Current alleged TWH (no registration) gifted to me as a 13yo by a friend who’d used him for trails exclusively. Working with same trainer (again: from the ground) he now trots. Canter was a work in progress when I had to let biweekly lessons go due to finances. That was 2yrs ago, he’s now 23 & we just restarted lessons. Had one, then heatwave hit. But he’s still pretty much where we left off.
DH & his Walker:
Me & TWH#3 on trails last Summer:
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I feel like I can tell if they have the attitude I like pretty quickly. I’ve had a couple leases where I rode them the first few times and felt safe and happy, but felt like they might not have the forward ride I want so might just be temporary. Then, after leasing them for a month or so, found the buttons I wanted and ended up loving them.
But I also agree that it’s very easy to determine if I don’t like the horse. Back when I was younger and more willing to ride anything, I sat on lots that I disliked from the first trot and never really enjoyed.
I get pretty nervous trying new horses, so I always view the first ride as telling me whether I want to ride that one again. Plenty I know in the first 5 minutes that it is not the right match for me, and I stop the trial at that point. I’m not going to magically suddenly feel a match if I’m completely uncomfortable at the start. My current horse I bought after being out of the tack for 5 or 6 months and having PTSD from the wrong horse and wrong trainer. It was not love at first sight from the video, it was I see the potential and I trust the new trainer, who was good at matches. First ride I was super nervous, and my horse couldn’t have cared less. I was encouraged and looked forward to coming back the next day. In the second ride, I absolutely knew he was the right one. Horse shopping is hard but if you truly listen to your gut, and are willing to walk away if you have significant doubts, you’ll find the right one! Totally agree with everyone who said - assume that ride is the horse at its best, never assume you can learn to ride it, you can teach it to go the way you want, etc . . ., base it on what you feel and need right now. Good luck!
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I think knowing your horse and knowing your type comes more with age and experience. The kind of ride I look for now in middle age is definitely not what I would have wanted as a teenager!
As someone who hasn’t sat on multiple horses daily or weekly since my early 20s, horse shopping at this stage of life—when you’re used to having one equine dance partner—is a lot harder. It’s not always easy to immediately pick up the steps with another.
I echo what others have said: you need to evaluate what the horse shows you on the day of the trial and ask yourself if you’d be happy with that ride every day. It’s also worth thinking about your goals and whether they’re achievable with this horse.
For me, my current ride is probably a little too nice and a bit more athletic than I technically need, but it pushes me to ride better. The horse is safe, responsive, and absolutely lovely on the ground. Since a big part of my enjoyment is grooming and doting on my horse, that checked a huge box for me.
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As others have said, I can tell more if I don’t like the horse. I always buy green, so perfection isn’t on my list, regardless, but I don’t want to feel “meh” on a horse I’m thinking about buying. In my horse-buying history there were two in particular that I REALLY wanted to like- one when I was a junior, and one about ten years ago. I was lucky enough that in both cases I was able to ride each one a few times- I kept hoping I would feel better about it, but it just wasn’t there.
That is more valuable to me than some sort of magical connection- the “nope, not the horse for me” feeling. What I look for is the right feel in the jump (which is just a: I know it when I feel it thing), and no obvious red flags (rank behavior that isn’t just put down to being green and things like that). I have other preferences, such as that I don’t like super-hot, I hate being dragged around (although this can often be fixed with good flatwork), and so on.
I think you need to listen to your gut and weigh it with the more tangible evidence to bring in some objectivity, but if you really don’t like riding a horse when you try it, and the dislike isn’t due to reasonably correctable training issues or whatever, then I would say keep looking.
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This I find cool. I remember when I was selling my pony, it was usually evident in a few minutes (or even less) if there was some potential there or not. Watching my pony go around for 30 minutes with a ride that really didn’t match was painful!
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This will sound strange.
I had a new horse every year or two when I was learning to ride. I look back and am not sure why that was. At least in one case I think a new trainer (went to high school and new riding program at that school) didn’t approve of the horse I had from previous trainer. So we were talked into donating her and they reportedly sold her at New Holland. (I learned this MANY years after the fact) Then I leased a pair of school horses for maybe a year or so.
I wrote out a list just now and of my lifetime 22 horses (Most bought, 2 leased from my school) I only tried 8 of them. I have not “tried” a horse in a long time since those years since now I know what I am doing and the horses I bought last were either OTTB’s coming off the track or in England.
So the last horse I “tried” was in 2013. Now the ironic part is when I tried him he was lame but his feet were in horrible shape. I got him to come on trial and was given permission to have his feet done. We did all that, I rode him once and he was great. Then the next day he punctured his stifle joint wide open in a field by himself. So, we bought him that day and it took 3 months of stall rest to heal him up. And he was always difficult. We had to stop riding him. Found him a few companion jobs and then ultimately donated him to work. Then he was put down for a leg injury. We did the neuro necropsy and he had some related to EDM findings. It explained a lot of what I saw with him.
But all the rest since then… Never tried. The 4 most recent ones.
Gin - Bought at track based on his pedigree and jog video coming back after race - Won the RRP Field Hunter Division with me in '15
Cudo - Bought from England as experienced 1.20 horse for $13k USD + $7800 airfare. BEST horse of my life. MANY wins, championships etc.
Chad - Bought from England. Same price as Cudo. Lovely young horse sold him to a dear friend last year.
Lad - Bought off track, lovely type but he’s physically unable to be a riding horse so he’s a companion now.
Em
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I know. I just do (can’t rationally explain that.) Twice I’ve been sure I was looking at my new horse when I walked in the barn and saw her (both mares) standing in crossties.
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