I’m so sorry for your loss. There was nothing more you could do. My best friend lost her horse to EPM and he was neurologic but not the way you describe. Hopefully they can find some answers for you. It is always harder to make a decision on euthanasia when you “don’t know” what is wrong, and sometimes you never get those answers or the answers you do get just don’t paint a complete picture.
Ugh I am so so sorry for your loss. I had to make the call for my big goofy 5-year-old (also bought as a yearling) two years ago. It sounds like you did everything right by him, up to letting him go. So sorry!
{{{{{Critter}}}}}
Susan
So, so sorry. It is hard when the kind natured youngsters go.
It was good he had you to make sure he went out as easily as possible.
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I am so very sorry for your loss.
I am just heartbroken for you 
Unfair is such an understatement
As to why? It might take a long time to figure how this will serve you. Maybe the only reason is because the next person in line if you hadn’t gotten him, would have been someone who saw “bad behavior” and dealt with it ways that got someone seriously hurt.
You have my deepest sympathies 
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful horse.
So sorry for your loss.
Have been following your journey and am so sorry at this heartbreaking resolution.
I went through something similar many years ago. Histology showed rare axon malformations in the cervical spine. Ideopathic. He had been in and out of Tufts and we did all the things you have gone through. Dr. Paradis found him so interesting that she asked me to donate him to the school.
Im so sorry at this loss.
Thank you for being an amazing horse person, knowing and respecting what your horse was trying to “tell you” and making the very hardest decision for him.
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I’m very sad to hear this.
When you’re ready to have a good, cleansing cry, look up the COTH forum classic video “This It Be Right.” And thank you for doing right for your buddy.
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I’m so sorry 
I am so sorry to hear this, and my heart aches for you, OP. Your boy was lucky to have you, even if your time together was brief. He sure was a lovely fellow, and he had the best mama. It sucks so bad when we have to make that toughest decision of all, but being able to do it for our dear horses is a show of strength. Without you, there is no telling what could have happened to him in someone else’s hands. You did literally everything anyone could do, and then had the courage to say goodbye to him, which is an act of incredible kindness and selflessness. Hugs to you during this time. I know it hurts. I’ve been there. I lost the equine love of my life in 2019. I’d owned him since he was born, was there when he took his first breath, and then found him in the pasture with his leg horribly broken in several places. He was 22 years old. He was the center of my world, and I was absolutely devastated. I think I was in shock for about a week, and then one night, out of the blue, it’s like it all hit me at once and I collapsed on my bedroom floor and sobbed until I nearly vomited. It was a horrible moment, but one I had to go through in order to start moving on. That horse was a 22-year chapter of my life that came to a close much too abruptly and I was lost.
I’m sending you cyber hugs and lots of love from a fellow horse-lover.
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I’m so sorry. Your story sounds so similar to my horse, who I had to put down 4 years ago. Same tests of myelogram, bone scan, epm, Lyme, spine xrays. Same with out of character behavior, suddenly unable to be shod (had to be sedated to even pull shoes from previous shoeing) despite always being perfect for farrier before. Dangerous rearing undersaddle, unable to steer, bolting out of his mind lunging and leading… and we were schooling all the GP. Eventually diagnosed with idiopathic trigeminal neuralgia after a nerve block and a 3 day stint at a specialist state vet hospital, with no good outcome but some closure.
I have no reason for the why, I still have trouble moving on, even though I’ve lost horses before. The old horse I have now is probably the only reason I kept riding after all that, and the idea of finding another young one to bring up the levels again makes me so anxious, after going through that. I hope you find peace.
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Oh, crud! I am so, so sorry.
I’m so so sorry.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Thank you everyone for the support. You always question - why didn’t I see this earlier…why couldn’t I do more…am I making the right choice. It’s never easy…the worst time is doing night check…he was one that had the freedom to put his head out the door and we always spent some time just hanging out at night check.
I do take comfort that I did listen to him. When he first started the extra spookiness I thought about sending him to a trainer (who had done some despooking work with him a year ago)…but that would have meant shipping to FL for the winter. Then I thought to myself, I shouldn’t need to be sending him out…he’s had plenty of good time under saddle and lots of good experiences that it didn’t make sense that I would need to send him out.
I think when he struggled so much with the farrier…something he has always been absolutely excellent for, I really knew there was something serious going on. At least I have peace that I always listened to him and didn’t label him as being naughty or take out his odd behavior on him. Even the days where he had blow ups, I would just go back a step and regroup. It never felt like it was bad behavior directed at working…I don’t know how to explain how I knew that, but I knew it wasn’t “him”. I am still not sure how I managed to stay on the second explosion…I remember a moment where my bum was no where near my saddle. I should have come off just from the shear size of the blow up. And when I pulled him up, I remember thinking, he didn’t even know what happened…none of it was directed at me, the rider.
I am not allowed to check out and skip the barn…I have two other boys. I am sure they will help me get through this time. One is 16 and I’ve owned since he was 3…he’s actually been more chatty with me this week than he usually is. I also have a coming 3yo that I also bought as a late yearling. He is going to need a lot of time this year and I think I am going to start him at home instead of sending him out (he’s a pretty laid back guy). Of course, now I am absolutely panicked about this potentially happening to the young guy. I’ve already started him on an antioxidant supplement.
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One of my favorite passages from the Bhagavad Gita is when Krishna tells Arjuna, " Never was there a time when I did not exist, nor you, nor all these kings; nor in the future shall any of us cease to be."
I believe it true of animals as well. A couple I know took in two broad breasted turkeys – meat birds. They don’t live more than a year or 2 no matter what you do. When the male turkey passed, the wife told me she felt him floating above their farm exclaiming, “I’m free! I’m flying!” over & over. I was given an 19yo OTTB who’d been a stellar racer in his youth. He was with me for only one year before having to be put down for DSLD. Shortly thereafter, I saw him in a dream. He was galloping at a speed I’d never seen him attain in life. I feel that he had come to tell me all was well. That I’d made the right decision. And he was free of his clunky bar shoes & mobility issues & back to running with the speed & power of his youth. Two years later, I was bartending in the next county over. Started chatting with a customer. Turns out he was the jockey who had trained the horse to timber race nearly 20 years ago.
I hope the horrible knife edge of grief passes soon & you find peace knowing he knows you loved him & did the best you could for him.
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