1
Move to another barn. This situation is unlikely to work out for you. If you give 30 days notice on 5/1, then be prepared to be very firm about wanting NO TRAINING in May. Nothing, nada, zip. I would drop the lessons because she is not going to provide them; she has already shown you that.
You need to sit down and have a face to face meeting with trainer and outline exactly what you will pay, and exactly what you will get. It sounds like each of you has expectations and ideals about what service is being, or should be, provided, and they don’t match up (e.g. trainer may realize that you are not not getting as many lesson so is riding horse more to make it up in good faith - you want more lessons and don’t care about the rides).
Have the conversation sooner rather than later. It really should have happened in February when things didn’t happen as you expected them too.
I think you need to drop some issues that piss you off and stick to your guns on what’s important.
Look, if you got discount board or more rides merely because, as you imply, the trainer was dumb enough to give you those things…. accept those graciously. And you didn’t instantly put the kibosh on those extra rides and insist they get converted into lessons, did you? If so, you had a part in it.
To do otherwise is to rub salt in the wounds of someone from whom you want something…. right before you ask. That strategy makes no sense to me.
And FWIW, I left a local pro who was probably the best game in town over her inability to schedule lessons. She still rolls that way and now teaches another gal at the barn where I board… with or without notice which becomes a PITA for me scheduling ring time with my super green mare. LOL-- no escape! But I do want professionalism from horse trainers, and I feel your pain OP.
Sometimes when it is a pissing match, it is best to walk away. The relationship gets broken.
Actually, it is a trainer’s lot to have people come and go, sometimes without warning, leaving her high and dry…unless a BNT or under a boarding contract.
6
OP, I think piss-poor communication is a constitutional problem in your trainer. You won’t fix it. Know who she is and plan your own work-arounds-- like calling her to confirm one hour before your lesson-- and/or fire her.
And now your remark about her insisting on “notice” is funny. If I were in a pissy mood and wanted to burn that bridge, I’d tee up a fine rant about the hypocrisy of her wanting notice from me…when she’s being fired precisely because she can’t communicate or otherwise make word and deed match to save her job.
I, personally, wouldn’t put up with that kind of crap.
But that’s just me.
For some reason people seem to put up with unprofessionalism on the part of trainers that they’d never put up with from a hair dresser of a college professor or a boyfriend. I have no idea why.
" I’m very, very unhappy with the lack of professionalism here and I’m seriously considering finding another barn and handing in my 30 days notice on May 1st."
You already have your answer.
[QUOTE=mvp;8115691]
OP, I think piss-poor communication is a constitutional problem in your trainer. You won’t fix it. Know who she is and plan your own work-arounds-- like calling her to confirm one hour before your lesson-- and/or fire her.
And now your remark about her insisting on “notice” is funny. If I were in a pissy mood and wanted to burn that bridge, I’d tee up a fine rant about the hypocrisy of her wanting notice from me…when she’s being fired precisely because she can’t communicate or otherwise make word and deed match to save her job.[/QUOTE]
^^^ This, in spades.
[QUOTE=Red Barn;8115693]
For some reason people seem to put up with unprofessionalism on the part of trainers that they’d never put up with from a hair dresser of a college professor or a boyfriend. I have no idea why.[/QUOTE]
Because your horse’s well being is in their hands without your presence 22 out of 24 hours/day?
[QUOTE=Synthesis;8115962]
Because your horse’s well being is in their hands without your presence 22 out of 24 hours/day?[/QUOTE]
But surely if you thought a person was so unscrupulous and/or unhinged that she’d actually harm your horse you’d MOVE, wouldn’t you?
Yowser. I certainly would.
Don’t sit down, don’t have a meeting, a chit chat, a pow wow, whatever.
Do give your notice.
Do move to a barn with a trainer who will better suit your needs.
Do so today.
[QUOTE=Red Barn;8116016]
But surely if you thought a person was so unscrupulous and/or unhinged that she’d actually harm your horse you’d MOVE, wouldn’t you?
Yowser. I certainly would.[/QUOTE]
Come on now, tales abound of barns where the care was perfectly fine until notice was given that the horse(s) would be leaving. How many threads have advocated paying out the 30 days but moving before “Just in case”?
Once the professional starts demonstrating unprofessionalism, the horse is already firmly in their care.
Not everywhere has a multitude of options, sometimes the pickings are pretty darn slim.
[QUOTE=Synthesis;8116039]
Come on now, tales abound of barns where the care was perfectly fine until notice was given that the horse(s) would be leaving. How many threads have advocated paying out the 30 days but moving before “Just in case”?
Once the professional starts demonstrating unprofessionalism, the horse is already firmly in their care.
Not everywhere has a multitude of options, sometimes the pickings are pretty darn slim.[/QUOTE]
Sure.
But my original comment was just a general observation - namely, that people seem oddly tolerant of ordinary, non-threatening rudeness/slackness/thoughtlessness on the part of trainers, where they wouldn’t be nearly so tolerant in other circumstances.
Of course, if you’re already on bad terms with someone and exiting the situation, then that’s something else again.
[QUOTE=Red Barn;8116082]
Sure.
But my original comment was just a general observation - namely, that people seem oddly tolerant of ordinary, non-threatening rudeness/slackness/thoughtlessness on the part of trainers, where they wouldn’t be nearly so tolerant in other circumstances.
Of course, if you’re already on bad terms with someone and exiting the situation, then that’s something else again.[/QUOTE]
Right, but here’s the thing. Things start off good, there’s a honeymoon period then the unprofessionalism creeps in. Horse is cared for well aside from the training/time management/that really only affects you and your goals. Rock the boat and create bad feelings? Move somewhere and find different and potentially worse issues?
She must be an absolutely phenomenal trainer for you to be willing to put up with this nonsense since February.
18
[QUOTE=Synthesis;8116127]
Right, but here’s the thing. Things start off good, there’s a honeymoon period then the unprofessionalism creeps in. Horse is cared for well aside from the training/time management/that really only affects you and your goals. Rock the boat and create bad feelings? Move somewhere and find different and potentially worse issues?[/QUOTE]
I understand your point.
But, as has just been pointed out, this trainer has apparently been slacking off for three whole months, while charging full price for training.
That’s not a trivial amount of money.
Do you really think the OP should keep on paying fees for nonexistent lessons, just to avoid “bad feelings”?
:eek:
That sounds a lot like extortion to me.
[QUOTE=dontskipthecafe;8115602]
As I’ve mentioned recently, my mare has been an absolute dream. We’ve been doing great, she’s been learning new things and going around like a nice horse.
With very little help from the person I’m paying for training.
I let Trainer know at the beginning of April that I could not afford training this month. She said she needed notice for that, I said fine, that makes sense, but I can’t do May. Note that we never signed a contract requiring notice for training discontinuation.
As I’ve also mentioned on COTH, the entire point of my training board was for me to get three lessons per week on my horse. I want to learn to ride and school my horse, I don’t want Trainer to just fix my mare for me. And she agreed to this arrangement three months ago.
In said three months, I’ve had maybe six lessons. Total. And each one of them was a maximum of 15-20 minutes. This month? One lesson. 20 days into the month. For 10 minutes. When I reached out to Trainer and said I am unhappy with this arrangement and I would like to either have training roll over into May or reduce May’s board, I got a very pissy message. Mostly about how she’s been riding my horse more times than what I pay for anyway, and I already have discounted board (note that discounted board is something that she offered because I brought in two horses when we moved here). I never asked her to ride/work my horse more than three times per week; if she’s been doing that, it’s of her own accord. I would have preferred my three agreed-upon lessons even if she was riding my horse every single day.
I’m sure as hell not paying for training in May that I already said I couldn’t afford. I’m kind of pissed that I’ve wasted quite a lot of money already on training that didn’t happen. The first month (January) was all pro rides because I was having trouble with my mare, but regular lessons were supposed to start in February and they still haven’t. I’m very, very unhappy with the lack of professionalism here and I’m seriously considering finding another barn and handing in my 30 days notice on May 1st.
Thoughts? Suggestions?[/QUOTE]
Change barns. And this time make sure up front that you and Trainer are on the same page–preferably in writing.
Barns and trainers are no different than hairdressers or repair garages for your car; if one isn’t working out for you, vote with your checkbook and find another.
I wouldn’t necessarily honor the 30 days’ notice, either, since she has not kept up her end of the bargain. Virtually no one finds it worth suing for a month’s board money.
Move on with lesson learned!
