UPDATE Page 10 (I know you're all waiting by your keyboards to respond!) (I jest.) (Kind of.) Barn worker taking things - what would your expectation be of the Barn regarding consequences?

[Nickelodian]

Long background:

I (and others in my barn) will sometimes accidentally leave things out. Gloves, stick, fly spray, whatever. Mostly we put each others’ stuff on the appropriate trunk and move on.

Back in December I left my gloves out and they went missing. After a little research, it was made known to me that one of the barn workers, and younger lady (early 20s) had lifted them and started to use them as her own. I found my gloves in her trunk. I texted her to let her know not to take others’ things, and if she found something she was to place it in the lost and found. I also let her employer (barn owner) know of the situation. The BO said she would have a discussion with her.

Fast forward to yesterday. A vest of mine has been missing since I fell off and fractured my shoulder and several ribs 6 weeks ago. I arrived at the barn to find the same barn worker wearing my vest. I confronted her, and she immediately gave it back. I asked her if she found it, she said ‘maybe.’ She then said it was left out there for two weeks. I said to her “I don’t care if its two weeks or two months, you don’t take others’ things.” I told her that this was the same thing as the gloves. She said that was another barn worker just messing with me (IE she didn’t take them). I said this current situation points to the contrary.

Quite frankly I was furious. Not about the vest necessarily but about the lack of respect for others’ possessions and about the concern I have that I’m not sure where she draws the line on stealing. I’m also missing a martingale and a stick, did she take them? Will I ever know? Will more of my tack disappear? What about my saddles? I have thousands of dollars worth of stuff at the barn, how can I trust that it is safe?

So, I am wondering what others would do in this situation. I have tack and groom quite a bit because I have limited barn time, so I can’t lock my things away (or take them home). What consequences would you expect the BO to take?

I’m at a loss.

[APirateLooksAtForty]

So I am feeling very blunt today and have to say, having some albeit limited contact with you in real life and on social media, I find you a bit reactionary and wonder if the barn owner is not taking you super seriously due to that? Sorry I am not grousing around today and just getting to the point. I do not mean it in an insulting way but I have been there before; when folks consider a person with a grievance to be somewhat reactive, they take their complaints less seriously. I suspect that is what is happening here.

[trubandloki]

@Nickelodian

Long background:

I (and others in my barn) will sometimes accidentally leave things out. Gloves, stick, fly spray, whatever. Mostly we put each others’ stuff on the appropriate trunk and move on.

Back in December I left my gloves out and they went missing. After a little research, it was made known to me that one of the barn workers, and younger lady (early 20s) had lifted them and started to use them as her own. I found my gloves in her trunk. I texted her to let her know not to take others’ things, and if she found something she was to place it in the lost and found. I also let her employer (barn owner) know of the situation. The BO said she would have a discussion with her.

Fast forward to yesterday. A vest of mine has been missing since I fell off and fractured my shoulder and several ribs 6 weeks ago. I arrived at the barn to find the same barn worker wearing my vest. I confronted her, and she immediately gave it back. I asked her if she found it, she said ‘maybe.’ She then said it was left out there for two weeks. I said to her “I don’t care if its two weeks or two months, you don’t take others’ things.” I told her that this was the same thing as the gloves. She said that was another barn worker just messing with me (IE she didn’t take them). I said this current situation points to the contrary.

Quite frankly I was furious. Not about the vest necessarily but about the lack of respect for others’ possessions and about the concern I have that I’m not sure where she draws the line on stealing. I’m also missing a martingale and a stick, did she take them? Will I ever know? Will more of my tack disappear? What about my saddles? I have thousands of dollars worth of stuff at the barn, how can I trust that it is safe?

So, I am wondering what others would do in this situation. I have tack and groom quite a bit because I have limited barn time, so I can’t lock my things away (or take them home). What consequences would you expect the BO to take?

I’m at a loss.

I am confused - you got broken while at the barn and your barn friends let your vest sit around unclaimed for two weeks?
Not one of them said “oh, this is Nickelodian’s. I will put it on their trunk.”?

I am 100% against stealing. I am 100% taking things that are not yours with out asking the owner if you can use them. (No assuming that since they said yes last time it will be yes again today.)
But something sitting around unclaimed for two weeks is very different than something left out over night.

[lenapesadie]

My barn would throw your gloves and vest away if they were left out for any extended period of time. Barn is immaculately tidy though

[Redlei44]

I don’t think there is a magic solution here. You can talk to her employer again with this new info, but if they are not willing or able to control (or fire) this employee, then you’re stuck. You can keep confronting the employee when she lifts your stuff, but obviously that isn’t working.

Is your stuff clearly labeled? If I leave stuff laying out, and it’s not clearly labeled, I don’t expect that it will find its way back to me. Locking up your equipment won’t help if you don’t put it away.

Is there a lost and found box at the barn that she should be putting stuff in instead, labeled or not?

[Nickelodian]

@trubandloki

I am confused - you got broken while at the barn and your barn friends let your vest sit around unclaimed for two weeks?
Not one of them said “oh, this is Nickelodian’s. I will put it on their trunk.”?

I am 100% against stealing. I am 100% taking things that are not yours with out asking the owner if you can use them. (No assuming that since they said yes last time it will be yes again today.)
But something sitting around unclaimed for two weeks is very different than something left out over night.

I don’t know. I wasn’t there since I was hurt. I broke my shoulder and ribs and left in haste. I didn’t return for about 7-10 days and the vest wasn’t there. I could safely assume she snagged it the same day for all I know.

[Nickelodian]

@lenapesadie

My barn would throw your gloves and vest away if they were left out for any extended period of time. Barn is immaculately tidy though

Gloves were taken the day they were left out. I rode the next day and they were gone.

[Nickelodian]

@Redlei44

I don’t think there is a magic solution here. You can talk to her employer again with this new info, but if they are not willing or able to control (or fire) this employee, then you’re stuck. You can keep confronting the employee when she lifts your stuff, but obviously that isn’t working.

Is your stuff clearly labeled? If I leave stuff laying out, and it’s not clearly labeled, I don’t expect that it will find its way back to me. Locking up your equipment won’t help if you don’t put it away.

Is there a lost and found box at the barn that she should be putting stuff in instead, labeled or not?

My riding stuff is all labeled. The martingale has a plate, and went missing off of my hook. The stick went missing when my kiddo was playing with it and it was left in the aisle. Gloves and vest are harder to label, but could be done and good idea

Yes there is a lost and found. And when this happened with the gloves I specifically asked her to place things in the lost and found when she found them. She responded back “I’m sorry, next time when I find something I will place it in the lost and found.”

[GleesBid]

I am similar to OP about people ‘borrowing’ things from other riders/boarders. One spoiled teenager who thought the world was hers for the taking really burned me. She would blatantly borrow things, even though I was fanatical about having everything labeled clearly. She’d leave someone’s sweaty girth or bridle in a heap on the tack room floor or barely hanging on a hook.

I ended up having to lock up everything in my trunk, and I started taking my saddle home after every ride. If I did leave it there (from Saturday evening to Sunday morning only), I made it very difficult to borrow…I put it in the carrier bag and locked the handles together under the saddle rack. (Yes, she could have gotten my saddle out of the bag with a lot effort)

I work hard for all my tack and I can’t afford to replace things at will, but I’ll let people borrow things as long as they ask me.

I think it is the BO’s responsibility to address this with staff and I’d have another discussion about it.

[enjoytheride]

I am not sure why others are blaming you. People are on occasion forgetful. If you were a repeat offender I’d expect someone to speak to you about being more tidy.

As far as the worker I’d expect her to get fired. What she’s doing is stealing. The only exception would be putting your things in lost and found and then claiming them after a set period of time.

Stealing a vest someone left after a riding accident is pretty low.

[Nickelodian]

@APirateLooksAtForty

So I am feeling very blunt today and have to say, having some albeit limited contact with you in real life and on social media, I find you a bit reactionary and wonder if the barn owner is not taking you super seriously due to that? Sorry I am not grousing around today and just getting to the point. I do not mean it in an insulting way but I have been there before; when folks consider a person with a grievance to be somewhat reactive, they take their complaints less seriously. I suspect that is what is happening here.

I’m curious that if someone is reactionary does that mean they deserve to have their stuff stolen? I will honestly say, that in the horse world there are a lot of reactionary people, and in comparison most of the time I’m not that bad. However having something stolen (twice) from by an employee who works for a service company that I pay a lot of money to, that doesn’t sit well with me.

[Redlei44]

@enjoytheride

I am not sure why others are blaming you. People are on occasion forgetful. If you were a repeat offender I’d expect someone to speak to you about being more tidy.

As far as the worker I’d expect her to get fired. What she’s doing is stealing. The only exception would be putting your things in lost and found and then claiming them after a set period of time.

Stealing a vest someone left after a riding accident is pretty low.

I’m not blaming OP, but I do think that options are limited. OP should speak to the manager again, but cannot force the manager to fire the employee. OP can lock up their stuff, but if the employee is only stealing stuff that’s left out, then that won’t help.

As with many boarding barn issues, the only thing you can ultimately control is whether you stay or go when something’s not working for you.

[Scribbler]

Are you willing to move or threaten to move if this happens again? If so you can try this on barn owner.

Realize that employee will glibly lie to barn owner and say it was a misunderstanding that got sorted out ok.

”‹”‹”‹”‹”‹”‹

[APirateLooksAtForty]

@Nickelodian

I’m curious that if someone is reactionary does that mean they deserve to have their stuff stolen? I will honestly say, that in the horse world there are a lot of reactionary people, and in comparison most of the time I’m not that bad. However having something stolen (twice) from by an employee who works for a service company that I pay a lot of money to, that doesn’t sit well with me.

Absolutely not. I just feel that is why the BO is not acting on your complaint. I have seen it so many times. I am certainly not excusing the thief’s behavior. I do agree with the others though that if I left things out for days and days I am not certain I would not expect to find them where I placed them weeks later.

[Nickelodian]

@Scribbler

Are you willing to move or threaten to move if this happens again? If so you can try this on barn owner.

Realize that employee will glibly lie to barn owner and say it was a misunderstanding that got sorted out ok.

”‹”‹”‹”‹”‹”‹

No I’m not. Well I guess I should say, I’m not willing to move (or threaten to do so) over gloves or a vest. That would seem to be inordinate to the offense. But I do feel upset and threatened by the way the two things just grew legs and found their way to the employee’s hands.

[Nickelodian]

@APirateLooksAtForty

Absolutely not. I just feel that is why the BO is not acting on your complaint. I have seen it so many times. I am certainly not excusing the thief’s behavior. I do agree with the others though that if I left things out for days and days I am not certain I would not expect to find them where I placed them weeks later.

The gloves were left out overnight (I came and rode the next day). The martingale disappeared off of my bridle hook in the tack room. The stick did get left out Saturday ->Tuesday, and that’s my own fault. The vest I have no idea. I didn’t return to the barn for over a week given the severity of my injuries (busted helmet, shoulder, multiple ribs). I don’t expect stuff to sit out forever, nor am I a particularly messy person. But accidents do happen.

[trubandloki]

@Nickelodian

No I’m not. Well I guess I should say, I’m not willing to move (or threaten to do so) over gloves or a vest. That would seem to be inordinate to the offense. But I do feel upset and threatened by the way the two things just grew legs and found their way to the employee’s hands.

Again, I think it is 100% wrong to take things that do not belong to you. I am not disagreeing with that point. But I think you have to realize how your post(s) come across and I wonder if that is how you sound to the barn owner and that, like was said above, is why this did not get dealt with differently the first time.

You left these things out. No one went into your trunk/locker and dug around and took your stuff.

In my world they would have found their way back to you, for sure. But you keep saying it like this person plots to take your things.

[Nickelodian]

@trubandloki

Again, I think it is 100% wrong to take things that do not belong to you. I am not disagreeing with that point. But I think you have to realize how your post(s) come across and I wonder if that is how you sound to the barn owner and that, like was said above, is why this did not get dealt with differently the first time.

You left these things out. No one went into your trunk/locker and dug around and took your stuff.

In my world they would have found their way back to you, for sure. But you keep saying it like this person plots to take your things.

Valid feedback. The first time I just simply notified the BO. Annoying and wrong, but just that. The second time really didn’t go over well with me. Especially since I was hurt when it happened. It could be the fact that I had such a bad fall tied to the incident that is making me feel this way as well. It does seem odd to me that two of my things have ended up with her, and it does make me feel threatened that other things might disappear as well. I think those are valid feelings. however, I appreciate your thoughts and recommendation on approach.

[inca]

My two cents:

1. I would be upset for sure. But, I would also make a concerted effort to put my things up before I leave. As in, before I left the barn, I would walk through the barn and/or check my tack area and make sure all my stuff is where it belongs. (This obviously doesn’t apply to the vest but a text to BO or friend letting them know you had left your vest out could have helped in that situation.)

   I have my own place but am bad about not securing my second “safety” mechanism on the stall doors. (One horse knows how to open her stall door. So I have rigged another method of securing the doors in case the main latch is undone by a clever horse.) Since I know this is an issue, last thing I do every time I leave my barn is check each stall to make sure that is done. It’s a routine now.

2. If I were the BO I would be extremely displeased about this being posted on the internet. There are plenty of people that know exactly which barn this is. Getting random internet opinions is not a productive way to resolve this issue, imho.

[Farosh]

The vest is understandable since you were hurt and someone should have been helpful and put that away for you. The gloves, meh. At most barns I’ve been to, you leave stuff out, it either gets thrown in the trash or becomes part of the lesson stuff. You are free to try to go find it.

Put your stuff away! When you’re a barn worker you don’t have time to hunt down the owner of every little thing that gets left out and it makes the barn messy. And frankly it’s not their job. I teach 8 year olds that can pick up after themselves without being hassled about it, everyone else can too.