Update Post 95 Winter misery: am I expecting too much?

[awaywego]

It’s already been rather wet and cold but I am trying. I really don’t mind the cold, but long strings of gray and damp days are hard. I usually ship in for lessons regularly but the winter slows that down to maybe once a month, so I am on my own outside 99% of the time.

It’s year 86243986123 of struggling through the winter with my mare. She is always sensitive and forward thinking but in the winter it is turned up to 11, to the point where every ride is not fun and quite often explosive. Does not work down, gets progressively worse the more I try to ride through it. Yesterday was ride 3 in 4 days so I would have hoped that we were settling back into a routine but YEEEEEEEEEEESH. Lunging is not a great option for me as I have a bad shoulder and it’s just not worth the risk to me.

I have tried: ’

1. immediately going to “work” so her mind doesn’t have time to wander. This just leads to the meltdown sooner than later.
2. just walking and waiting it out - meltdown is delayed.
3. full lameness evaluation
4. treated for ulcers
5. treated for Lyme

Do I just give up until April? If I could find one thing that is less drama inducing, and we could just do that thing for the winter, that might help, but I can’t figure out what THAT is I’m so tired of this situation that I have really considered sending her to Florida to be sold. She is attractive, easy to handle, knows her job at the shows - I’m sure I would do well selling her. Things would be easier in barn management at home if I had another gelding rather than a mare who requires solo turnout.

All of this being said, in the summer I enjoy her (as much or as often as anyone can enjoy a very mare-ish mare ). She is pretty darn reliable May- August but that is only 3 months of the year!!!

[onlyTBmares]

Maybe you’ve read my other threads, but I recently purchased a teenaged gelding schoolmaster. I have always ridden spicy mares. I am a grown a$$ woman. I am having the best winter I have had probably in my entire life. The winter makes up half the year, the bills don’t go down in the winter. The winter is hard emotionally with the sun going down at what feels like noon. I can now leave my stressful job, drive to the barn in the cold/wet, and leave feeling relaxed. I am soooooo happy to have a horse that behaves in the winter. No advice, but saying my change has been incredibly beneficial to my emotional well being.

[endlessclimb]

Are you able to cut her loose in the area where you ride (does it have decent footing)?

[RanchyHunter]

How does she do lunging or working in hand? Is it possibly a saddle fit issue?

[Rumorhasit93]

My advice is, if you’re otherwise compatible and competitive in the show ring, send her to a rehab facility for the winter. Let her do some non-typical forms of exercise. I don’t know where you live, but we have a phenomenal local facility that has aqua treadmill, pool, eurociser, and turn out. Someone can also ride your horse if you choose.

[DawgLady]

My gelding is like your mare. He’s a different horse in winter.

Is a round pen a possibility? It’s a lifesaver for me (when it’s dry enough to use). Also, letting mine run loose in the ring is super helpful pre-ride when it’s available. Ear plugs are helpful, too.

I am also considering selling mine. My issues are slightly different than yours, but the wintertime drama is a HUGE factor. So, I send you my empathy. Happy to DM if you just want to talk it through!

[Rel6]

@awaywego

All of this being said, in the summer I enjoy her (as much or as often as anyone can enjoy a very mare-ish mare

I say this with compassion, but if the best months you have with her are still described by saying you enjoy her and then undercut with an eye roll after, I don’t think you truly enjoy this horse.

Like one of the above posters, I went from a very difficult time with one horse to enjoying myself immensely with a different one more suited to my goals. I don’t think it has to be mare vs gelding, but if you’re only having fun 3 months out of the year then maybe it is time to reach out to some people you trust about whether selling her is an option.

[Jealoushe]

Can you pay someone to ride or warm her up for you so you can enjoy your ride?

Do some free work in the arena? Try liberty? You can still work on their muscles and training from the ground. That’s my go to when I’m cold and tired and low energy.

Is she moving around enough in the turn out to burn energy during that time?

[fourfillies]

I bought a lovely gelding a few years ago. He just wasn’t fun in the winter (for us mid Dec to April). I swallowed my pride and sold him two winters ago and never looked back. Life is short and gets shorter each year. Move her on and get one that makes your life easier.

[Heinz_57]

@awaywego

I’m so tired of this situation that I have really considered sending her to Florida to be sold. She is attractive, easy to handle, knows her job at the shows - I’m sure I would do well selling her. Things would be easier in barn management at home if I had another gelding rather than a mare who requires solo turnout.

Do it. You will both be 100% happier. Buy a dopey happy mature gelding who is the same every day of the year, and enjoy yourself. My gelding went through a winter crazies phase like this at 5-6, but it was just a phase. Now at 7 going on 8, I don’t feel like I’m taking my life in my hands riding him when it’s cold.

[Night_Flight]

How is she if there’s something to distract her from the tedium of going around and around a boring arena all winter (poles, jumps, things to ride over or around, etc.).

My mare HATED winter for the first few years I had her. People would actually gather to watch our rides because of how exuberantly she objected to arena work. We also checked for pain.

Over time, I figured out that she needed to break the monotony. Flatting over poles, riding around jump standards, trail rides when possible. Over time, she became rideable over the winter.

[Pokerface]

It doesn’t sound to me like this is a great set up for either of you. She is clearly not a winter horse, and you want to be able to ride during the winter (as you should). If you are ok with letting her sit through the winter, that would be a good option, Another idea would be to get a round pen and round pen her before you ride, allow her to warm up without a rider, get herself ready to work, and maybe she will feel better when you go to ride her.

If it was me though, I’d consider selling. It sounds like a round peg in a square hole. Neither of you sounds particularly happy in this set up.

A question that occurred to me: Does she get any hormonal help? She might be one that benefits from year round hormonal support. My mare gets her regumate year round and my mom has found it is much easier to do that rather than to deal with any swings that might occur in the winter if she starts to cycle again, Both horse and mom are happy with this setup.

[Foxglove]

Sort of in your situation --I have a top kotch Dressage (former 3 Day) OTTB gelding that is oh, so lovely to ride April -September --when I have time to work him daily if even for 20 min (my horses are at home, no indoor). However, in the winter, I can only stand the cold for an hour or so + barn chores. That means I have to pick which horse to ride: Choices: “Couch under saddle,” or “Eagar to go but sensible cow pony,” or the OTTB --I don’t ride the OTTB. Not fun. He’s a joy in the ring, extremely well-trained, but huge and needs to be “kept up” with daily work or --well, I don’t know what he’d do --never tried riding him without a week of lunging and ponying before I put a foot into the stirrup (only had him two years --one of the kids dropped him from her 3-Day program --great in dressage but can’t jump). I feel bad looking at him --he is kind, easy to deal with, and generally pleasant. BUT I am not getting on him until April —meanwhile, when I am up for it (surgery is keeping my riding time limited until Jan 10), I ask my DH to put a stock saddle on the “walking couch,” and enjoy my limited time outside. Life is too short --and why don’t I sell Mr. Super Dressage Horse? He won’t vet sound. But with me and 24 7 turnout, old lady riding, he does well enough --in the summer.

[awaywego]

@onlyTBmares I have seen your post - you definitely hit the jackpot! My version of “doing well” to sell this one would never afford me your kind of horse I am lucky enough to already have a pretty great older gelding - who will be 17 this year - and has a fair amount of maintenance needs so I am not looking to get into more of that anyway. If I got another horse, it would be another young-ish green bean.

@Rel6 I should say that may have been a bit of my own dramatics She can be a grumpy mare but mostly at this point I roll my eyes at her when she is like that. I do like the horse - have had her since she was a sweet and innocent 3 year old I trust her quite a bit - which is saying a lot for me as an adult who has had some pretty spectular wrecks - and is part of why it is hard to consider parting with her. I know if I find a huge flyer or a terrible chip, she won’t land with a huge buck or hold a grudge. My trainer has said the same about her too - that even when she is “naughty” she is never unsafe, just varying levels of annoying I guess one might say

@Pokerface, yes, she lives on Regumate year round as I am afraid to take her off!

@ everyone who suggested a roud pen I don’t have one so that’s not an option. While I do have good footing, I really truly believe she is the type who would jump out of my ring if I let her loose. She is ok to lunge until she decides she’s done and then it turns into a rodeo and I just cannot handle another shoulder surgery

@Night_Flight - yep, trotting over rails yesterday was part of my many attempts at sanity. In the summer, she is the kind of horse who actually tends to settle when we start jumping as she finally focuses. In the winter, it tends to have the opposite effect of adding to the drama.

I forgot to add that a few years ago i did move her to a barn with an indoor for the winter. It went so badly that we all agreed no notice was necessary to just move her home again. In fairness, it was a HORRIBLY wet year so she had extremely limited turnout and I blame most of the situation on that but it made me think that sending her to my trainer - who does have an indoor but the turnout situation can be tough in the winter - would be an exercise in futility. Currently the princess has a probably 4+ acre field to herself so if that’s not enough, I don’t know what is!

In the moment on days like yesterday when it is about as good as it gets for the winter here - no wind, sunny and close to 40 degrees, it is much easier for me to say “Miss Thing, you are going to Ocala, I am not doing this!” than when I sit here on my couch and think about how nice she can be and how terrible I might feel about selling her. But then I read threads on here about people just riding their horses bareback in the snow and I’m like HOW?? I just want to trot a few circles 15-20 min a few times a week in my perfectly groomed ring, maybe canter if it’s warm and we’re feeling confident

Anyway, this is why I ask a bunch of internet strangers for thoughts: because everyone I know already has some opinions about the mare, and we all know it’s a lot easer to say “sell” when you don’t have a vested interest.

[endlessclimb]

I know you don’t want to lunge, but getting bucked off onto that shoulder is no better.

Do you think she might be getting cold? My horses act like idiots if they’re too cold.

Assuming you’re confident this isn’t a health issue -

I’d ride her until she’s on the verge of a melt down. I’d get off, and put her on a lunge line with the rope as an overcheck, or with a chain, or a lunging cavesson - get as much control as you need. Lunge her with the stirrups down, even if it makes her more squirrely - she has got to relax and get focused, even with tickly touchies, even if she’s pissed off. I’d lunge her for focus. Don’t tolerate ANY shenanigans. LOTS of transitions, and prompt.

Lunge until the meltdown is over.

Get back on, and ride until you feel like it’s a good place to stop.

The meltdown got her nothing, but more structured work.

[NancyM]

A touch of acepromazine will make everyone safe and happy, and no one will get hurt. It’s not illegal, or immoral, it’s cheap and easy. She won’t stumble or fall down, just chill out a bit. Is it “cheating”? Not if you are not at a horse show. If you are alone, at home, and want to ride but can’t lunge, and don’t have access to a lil buckaroo who thinks this sort of thing is fun and challenging, 1/4 cc in the vein (or so, depending on your horse’s susceptibility) when you start to groom and tack up can make everyone have a happy and relaxed ride. And you don’t have to sell your horse or send her away.

[endlessclimb]

I’d maybe be more tolerant to this idea if the problem wasn’t 9 months out of the year.

[NancyM]

But perhaps the tension of the winter months carries on longer than it should due to it happening in the first place. If things are not explosive during these problem months, perhaps everyone relaxes, and the relationship improves overall.

[endlessclimb]

That may be true. It might be worth a try, OP, if the horse is otherwise ok.

But it doesn’t sound like a match made in heaven to start with.

[awaywego]

@NancyM definitely something I have considered (usually mid-ride) many times

@endlessclimb I’m honestly not super worried about getting bucked-off - nothing is truly nefarious as much as annoying. ’

We showed in late October and she was fine - literally the day after she was clipped and the temps dropped 20 degrees overnight. It’s kind off/on starting in August and by now we are in full I AM WILD mode til…I don’t know? whatever is setting her off sorts itself out again…