Vets' staff could be more sympathic.

[Gloria]

[QUOTE=andylover;8217480]
It has been a long and arduous process to be able to finally make the decision to put down my very old horse. He is truly struggling and feel it is his time as his bad days exceed his good days. Anyone who has had to make the decision knows how difficult it truly is and compassion, understanding and support can truly be helpful.
When calling the vets office to make the appointment I felt like i was immediately put on the defensive by the receptionist. I was asked continually why was I choosing to do this and she kept asking for more and more reasons. She didnt sound like the reasons I gave her were acceptable. Age, arthritis, weight and heat issues were not appeasing her for justifying the euth’ing of my horse.
I have been a client of this vet for almost 20 years so it is not like I am a new client and asking for this. This has been a tough decision and then feeling like I am being unjustly put on the defensive is not right.
As anyone else experienced this apparent lack of sympathy from their vet’s office and could this have been handled better? Or am I being over sensitive?[/QUOTE]

No. I have used the same vet for the last decade, and have worked with the same receptionist, and none has ever questioned our decision to put down any horse.

If I were questioned by the receptionist, I would tell her, “none of your business.”

You do not ow her a reason.

I will also tell the vet. This receptionist needs to be disciplined.

[SMF11]

That’s a stressful phone call to make, it is hard to think fast on your feet, I’d imagine. Of course I’m with everyone else saying tell the vet.

If it makes you feel better, every single time I’ve made that call, I think I’m fine, I dial the phone, and as soon as the receptionist answers, I burst into tears.

[maunder]

[QUOTE=SMF11;8217784]
That’s a stressful phone call to make, it is hard to think fast on your feet, I’d imagine. Of course I’m with everyone else saying tell the vet.

If it makes you feel better, every single time I’ve made that call, I think I’m fine, I dial the phone, and as soon as the receptionist answers, I burst into tears.[/QUOTE]

Me too.

[bathsheba8542]

Sorry you have to face this, and for the challenges the receptionist is giving you on your decision. I agree with the others … call the vet and tell her/him what you want. I know this happens, and it happened to us with one of our dogs, so I feel your pain. <<<hugs>>>

[roseymare]

I agree that she needs to know how it made you feel and you need to speak with the veterinarian or office manager. But maybe she was asking to determine if someone needed to come out to the farm immediately.
Training is sometimes by fire at vet offices…

[atlatl]

So sorry you were treated like this, especially at such a difficult time.

Please do speak to your vet about this.

One of my dogs died at home years ago on the Friday afternoon before a 3 day weekend. I wanted to have him cremated, but the crematory was closing for the weekend so I couldn’t take his body there. I made arrangements with the vet to hold his body until the next week when the crematory could pick him up. After my DH gently put Scooter in the freezer on the “hold” side, we asked the vet how much we owed for the service. She said “don’t worry about it, it’s not like we have to feed him.” When we both stood there with our jaws on the ground, she apologized for the insensitive comment. I can almost laugh about it 30 years later.

[HappyTalk]

[QUOTE=WillardsMom;8217530]
I am a receptionist at a vet office. If someone calls to say they would like to put down their animal, we do not probe why. Usually the owner’s offer up the information but I do not ask for specific details or try to talk them out of it.[/QUOTE]

Yes^^^^. I will answer any questions that they have about the process and body care. If the client is not sure it is time, I will list appt as euthanasia consult.

[Alagirl]

[QUOTE=atlatl;8217818]
She said “don’t worry about it, it’s not like we have to feed him.” When we both stood there with our jaws on the ground, she apologized for the insensitive comment. I can almost laugh about it 30 years later.[/QUOTE]

Crass, but funny in a morbid kind of way (yeah, I got a pitch black sense of humor)

[Ruth0552]

Has euthanizing this horse been something you have discussed with the vet?

I agree that you should tell the vet what happened. BUT… keep in mind that this might be how the vet trained his staff. Might not be too- it might have been completely inappropriate. Actually it was inappropriate regardless. However… the vet I used to work for, whom I will never work for nor bring any of my pets to again, was basically an a$$hole. He trained his staff to be “gatekeepers” whether you were a tech or a receptionist. And you had to know which clients were “special” and got different treatment from the rest of the clients. There were literally multiple times where I would put someone on hold, ask him a question standing next to me, then pick up the phone, then repeat. All the staff were required to do both tech and front desk duties, so I definitely talked to more than one owner about euthanasia. Certainly I always used a lot of compassion, and if I thought the situation was sketchy, or if it wasn’t someone who was already a client, I would give the doc a head’s up. In MA, there aren’t a lot of vets that will euthanize unless it is necessary, or won’t euthanize for convenience.

You might talk to the vet, and he acts appalled and shocked, blah blah blah. Then tells the receptionist nothing because that’s what he wants her to do.

I’m not saying this is ok- it’s not- but before I vilify the receptionist, having been a “peon” myself working for a tiny little man of a vet, this might not be her fault. He might have been standing next to her!!

And I am sorry for your loss.

[AKB]

Some people lack interpersonal skills. The receptionist is supposed to screen calls to be sure there is nothing urgent. If you want a euthanasia because Fluffy has a broken leg or is down in the field, the receptionist needs to send a vet out tonight you pretty quickly. If you are one of the people who is considering euthanasia, but might want an x Ray to help make the decision, the receptionist needs to send the x Ray machine with the vet.
Tell the vet about your experience. She needs to give the receptionist a short list of euthanasia questions so the receptionist does not ramble on with offensive and irrelevant questions. In some practices, clients text the vet directly to avoid dealing through th receptionist.

[cayuse]

Your not being oversensitive at all. The decision you are making is probably the hardest thing that we as horse owners have to make. You should be receiving some empathy from the receptionist. If not that, at least neutrality. I would speak to the Vet about it.
I am sorry that you are having to go through this. My thoughts are with you

[Zu_Zu]

((hugs)) for your heart ~ wrap your gelding up in love & ignore the world ~

[B]
((hugs)) for your heart ~

wrap your gelding up in love & ignore the world ~
[/B]

Jingles your remaining days together are filled with sunshine and treats and quality time together ~ AO ~

* simply the toughest part of loving our horses and respecting their lives ~ :sadsmile:

[danceronice]

[QUOTE=Alagirl;8217876]
Crass, but funny in a morbid kind of way (yeah, I got a pitch black sense of humor)[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I probably would have just laughed a bit.

And in the OP it doesn’t actually say the receptionist said anything disagreeing, just asked for reasons, and honestly I don’t think any of my vets I’ve used would just okay a receptionist booking a euthanasia without knowing if the vet had seen the animal, knew why the owner wanted it put down, etc. Did she actually express an overt, real opinion (“Well, you shouldn’t put a horse down for THAT!”) rather than ask “Have you spoken with Dr. Vet about X, Y, and Z?” and you INTERPRETED it as judgement? She might have dubious phone skills/tone rather than being deliberately harsh or having any opinion at all about it.

[SnicklefritzG]

The receptionist’s job is to answer the phone, help make appointments and nothing else. She shouldn’t be questioning you about this sort of thing.

Just deal with the vet only from now on. Ask for the vet to give you a call back.

[glitterless]

The receptionist should have caught on that her behavior was upsetting you. However, I work as a receptionist in a vet clinic and often we do need to ask these questions. It doesn’t really apply to our equine clients, but for general small animal euthanasias I am obligated to ensure that the dog or cat is being euthanized for a justifiable reason. So many pet owners euthanize because they are basically tired of the pet and are not interested in re homing for whatever reason. If I book a euthanasia, we believe that it’s only fair for the vet to follow through and not tell the client during the appointment that she is unable to euthanize. This has happened in the past where euthanasias were scheduled - no questions asked and the vet felt that euthanasia was not in animal’s best interest.

I realize that many people believe that as pet owners we have the final say. Unfortunately some owners should not be able to make that call and it is up to the vet to advocate for that animal.

With that said, I usually fight back tears during every horse euth phone call and would never drill someone on whether or not particular treatments had been tried. Tell me that you’re moving and need to euthanize your 5 year old cat? That’s another story.

And I can’t imagine how vets keep up with texts and calls to book appointments. Our vets usually only give out their cell numbers in emergency situations and ask clients to please contact the office to schedule an appointment.

[roseymare]

[QUOTE=SnicklefritzG;8218117]
The receptionist’s job is to answer the phone, help make appointments and nothing else. She shouldn’t be questioning you about this sort of thing.

Just deal with the vet only from now on. Ask for the vet to give you a call back.[/QUOTE]

Not always. As stated a couple of times in this thread she could have been trying to determine if the appointment needed to be seen as an emergency or if it could be scheduled. Albeit she seemed to have an odd way of communicating this to the OP or maybe the OP just took it the wrong way.

[Dewey]

[QUOTE=SMF11;8217784]
That’s a stressful phone call to make, it is hard to think fast on your feet, I’d imagine. Of course I’m with everyone else saying tell the vet.

If it makes you feel better, every single time I’ve made that call, I think I’m fine, I dial the phone, and as soon as the receptionist answers, I burst into tears.[/QUOTE]

Me, too.

[Mango20]

[QUOTE=SMF11;8217784]
That’s a stressful phone call to make, it is hard to think fast on your feet, I’d imagine. Of course I’m with everyone else saying tell the vet.

If it makes you feel better, every single time I’ve made that call, I think I’m fine, I dial the phone, and as soon as the receptionist answers, I burst into tears.[/QUOTE]

Me too. I think gathering up your courage and actually making that call is the hardest part of euthanasia. My horse vet’s office is great with checking their email (sometimes better than getting through on the phone). I made my last euthanasia appointment by email. It was still hard, but at least I didn’t have to try to hold it together with another person on the line. I could hover the mouse above the “send” button as long as I needed to before sealing the pony’s fate.

[showmanship]

[QUOTE=HappyTalk;8217865]
Yes^^^^. I will answer any questions that they have about the process and body care. If the client is not sure it is time, I will list appt as euthanasia consult.[/QUOTE]

@WillardsMom;8217530

I am a receptionist at a vet office. If someone calls to say they would like to put down their animal, we do not probe why. Usually the owner’s offer up the information but I do not ask for specific details or try to talk them out of it.

Ditto the above. It was never any of my business why someone was calling to make that appointment unless they were directly asking me what they should do, in which case, I would either schedule a consult or have one of the vets personally call them. My job was to make it as easy on the owner as possible by being kind and efficient.

That being said, I did work with a few women who couldn’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that they should speak a little kinder/gentler and not aggressive like what happened with the OP… Hopefully OP your vet does something about it. Unfortunately where I worked, they did not, and I couldn’t handle the insensitivity some of my fellow receptionists had.

I’m sorry about your old friend. Hugs to you.

[showmanship]

glitterless - I’m sure it’s all in location. I was at a small animal practice as well, and without directly asking, I could usually pick up on the reason for the euth appt. Especially if it was a long term client like the OP - I could pull up their med history right away. I would ask those probing questions for a brand new client wanting to euthanize a young animal though.