It has been a long and arduous process to be able to finally make the decision to put down my very old horse. He is truly struggling and feel it is his time as his bad days exceed his good days. Anyone who has had to make the decision knows how difficult it truly is and compassion, understanding and support can truly be helpful.
When calling the vets office to make the appointment I felt like i was immediately put on the defensive by the receptionist. I was asked continually why was I choosing to do this and she kept asking for more and more reasons. She didnt sound like the reasons I gave her were acceptable. Age, arthritis, weight and heat issues were not appeasing her for justifying the euth’ing of my horse.
I have been a client of this vet for almost 20 years so it is not like I am a new client and asking for this. This has been a tough decision and then feeling like I am being unjustly put on the defensive is not right.
As anyone else experienced this apparent lack of sympathy from their vet’s office and could this have been handled better? Or am I being over sensitive?
I would say something to the vet. You should not be quizzed in this manner by the receptionist. And I am sorry for your impending loss. I went through something similar last fall and it really helps to plan these things if you can. Fortunately my vet’s office staff was very good with such things. Say something because your vet needs to know about this kind of customer service issue.
[QUOTE=andylover;8217480]
anyone else experienced this apparent lack of sympathy from their vet’s office ? [/QUOTE]
No, thank goodness; my vet was truly kind and sympathetic when we made the decision. Then again, I dealt directly with the vet --who knew my horse – not his receptionist.
So sorry you’re going thru this.
Not with a horse but I had a terrible experience with my dog a couple years ago. I have never been back to the practice it was so difficult for me, I felt like I had to beg them to euth my dog who had cancer for the third time and had lost six pounds, 1/3 of his body weight in a month and was snapping and sleeping 22 hours a day. It was awful. They kept pushing more $3,000 surgeries on him. He was 14 and just wanted to go.
I am so sorry the receptionist made you feel that way. ((hugs)) to you, I think they could definitely handle it better. even an “I am so sorry your horse is not doing well, I need a little information about her health for the vet, please accept my condolences…” would go a long way.
Definitely say something to the vet.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s hard enough to make that decision, bu to have to be quizzed and second-guessed as though you had not been doing that to yourself already - that’s not right. It isn’t her place to second-guess you or question your decision. All she needs to say is “when can I schedule this for you.” And if she was really human, she could say “I’m so sorry.”
Please talk to your vet about this. They might be losing clients over issues like this and not be aware. Plus, if this young lady wants to continue in this field she needs to realize there is more than one way to look at things - you can’t fix or save everything. She’s lucky she didn’t get me - I would probably have torn her head off.
Again - I’m so sorry - I love the oldies. ((((Hugs to you.))))
The receptionist is definitely in the wrong. There are a lot of ignorant do-gooder/animal lover types in the world, sounds like she is one of them. There’s no need to be sensitive about it, but I would let your vet know what happened because her behavior–counseling a client she doesn’t know about a veterinary decision on a horse she has never seen–is completely inappropriate. Next time something like this happens you really don’t need to give the details to the receptionist, just ask her to make the appointment and you will discuss it with the vet himself/herself. Sorry this happened to you, it’s hard enough to lose an old friend without being made to feel bad about making a tough decision.
I am sorry you are having to go through this, this is the worst part of pet ownership.
I have never had to fight a vet to have a pet put to sleep but I did have to fight my mother because I was a minor at the time. My parents never go to the vet soon enough.
I hope the actual vet is more sympathetic for you. Maybe talk to him about his receptionist.
I am a receptionist at a vet office. If someone calls to say they would like to put down their animal, we do not probe why. Usually the owner’s offer up the information but I do not ask for specific details or try to talk them out of it.
I would definitely bring this up with the vet. She/he might be horrified at her/his receptionist’s behavior and want to make sure something like this never happens to anyone again.
I have never experienced this with a large animal vet. Mine have always been very supportive of my decisions regarding treatment or euthanasia.
I have experienced it with one small animal vet. I hadn’t been going there long (I had recently moved to a new area), but had already had a couple of interactions with them that I hadn’t been thrilled with, so that was the last straw. After that, I changed vets.
You are not being overly sensitive. It is not the receptionist’s job to give their opinion on what you called in for nor is it their job to tell you what diagnostics you should have run. Please talk to the vet about the poor manners and boundary overstepping of the receptionist. “Hey Vet, Did you know your receptionist thinks I shouldn’t put my horse down? None of her business? I agree.”
I am so sorry you are having to let your old guy go. It sure sounds like you have done everything you could for him and letting him go is the final kindness.
I agree you should say something to the vet, or whoever manages the office. That is deeply unprofessional.
I would definitely say something to the vet. The number one reason a customer leave a vet/dentist/people doctor/other medical practice is problems with the ‘gatekeepers’-the office staff.
My previous vet was not my favorite person (a good vet, but we had differences in philosophy over how far to go with care in hopeless cases). However, when it was time to put my boy down, everyone in the office couldn’t have been nicer and more understanding. That is the one time everyone should try to be understanding, and care for the owner and the patient.
I’m sending hugs for you, and thank you for sparing your horse further anguish and struggle.
I would suggest your vet needs to know this is happening- it may very well be without their knowledge/consent. Please- for the sake of other clients in the future.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
[QUOTE=IronwoodFarm;8217489]
I would say something to the vet.[/QUOTE]
Another vote for this, for sure.
The vet needs to know what their staff is doing. How the vet reacts will tell you if the quizzing is coming from the top down or just the receptionist over stepping some.
I am very sorry that you are having to make this decision.
Yep - please talk to your vet. Years ago I was also a receptionist at a vet’s office. At times I was a sounding board for all kinds of emotion, troubles and conditions but it was not my place to offer an opinion or, unless the doctor has requested that I ask certain questions, ask them. When in doubt I would state that I would talk to the doctor and get back to the client.
My equine practice just got a new large animal receptionist and I know she’s new, so I may give her a bit more information to help her relay it to the doctors. The old hand there already knows me and my pets and what to relay.
I think your vet would welcome the input from you, and if I were the receptionist I’d want to know too.
Your vet needs to know. I don’t deal with the receptionist, I call the vet directly on his cell phone unless it’s an emergency and after hours. I’ve never had an equine vet receptionist question me about anything to do with care. Even my small animal vet clinic doesn’t ask inappropriate questions…if I call with a question or asking for advice, the answer is always, “Let me ask Doc.”
When I first opened this thread I imagined you being asked to prolong things by the vets, or tech/s or similar. Sometimes they have a hard time honestly evaluating an animal that will ‘rebound’ when strangers are handling them or if they’re under duress.
However, the fact that a peon receptionist gave you lip is absolutely out of line. I agree with others that your vet needs to know you had to go through the n-th degree with receptionist in order to get that appointment. Not her place at all and I’m offended FOR you, that she put you through that.
Having worked in a practice I can echo what another here has said that there are those that are ‘animal lovers’ and fancy themselves working toward ‘the greater good’ by answering phones and doing noggins paperwork in a vet office. They are a dime a dozen and have no clue what it means to be a horse owner and all its’ challenges.
OP, I’m so sorry your’e going through this. The kindest gift is to take their pain away and make it your own. hug
tell the vet.
And tell the receptionist it’s non of her GD business.
[QUOTE=Alagirl;8217737]
And tell the receptionist it’s non of her GD business.[/QUOTE]
Yup. And be direct about it.
I don’t like to make folks feel like just another cog in the machine, so to speak, but this is one situation where I would have said, probably pretty snark-ily, “Since when did it become YOUR business why I make the decisions I do for MY animals? Make the appointment, or go page Dr. XYZ so I can speak to them directly and explain why you’re having trouble doing your job.”
Seriously. Her job is to answer phones, fill appointment books and keep track of records. Not play 20 questions and decide whether you’re making the right decisions for your horses.
Hugs I’m so sorry for your loss. And it sucks you had to deal with a lousy receptionist on top of it.
Definitely bring it up to the vet. Is the receptionist new? Being a veterinary receptionist can sometimes be pretty thankless, as it is frequently a low-paying job that often doesn’t come with much education or training. “Compassion” is not a skill everybody has, nor is it one that can always be taught. If she’s new, maybe she did not even realize her mistake and just needs to be given a little guidance on how to handle euthanasia appointments in the future. Or maybe her manner is going to be a continuing problem that the vet needs to address before business suffers.
