Walking alone, at night

[Tosca]

Whew, coincidentally I just got back from another exhausting day at work. It was day shift this time though.

Thank you all so much for the informative replies. I’m definitely going to talk to my employer in the next couple days. I feel much better about expressing my concerns after hearing your input. At first I was afraid I was being paranoid–I had a scary situation with a boyfriend last year and have been much more cautious ever since. It sucks not feeling invincible!-- but the more people I’ve talked to, the more they have been really shocked. It’s especially good to hear from PaulaM (hey, another Edmontonian, yay!) and davidgud who know the city.

It’s not that I’m afraid to be alone at night. It’s being alone on that road in the heart of the city at night. I come from a small town and am used to walking everywhere by myself and I often took my dog for walks in the bush, in bear country. I tell you, people are way more scary than wildlife! I even walk across the campus alone in the dark, although people have been telling me I shouldn’t do that either. (What can you friggin do in this world? )

I’m going to explain the situation in detail to my boss and say I won’t work nights unless I can arrange some sort of ride. If I have to do it occasionally, it wouldn’t be bad and I’d take a cab or call a friend (this guy that lives near me offered rides whenever I needed it, but I don’t want to take him up on the offer unless necessary.) If nothing else, the stress of it is awful–hearing myserious noises in the bushes behind you, seeing someone coming towards you and not knowing who they are…

Nevertheless, if I don’t work nights I think it still might be a good idea to take some self defence classes and maybe get some pepper spray. (There is NO WAY I would ever carry a gun, or any weapon besides the little Swiss Army knife I use for cutting open bales.) There may be times, especially in the winter, where I’ll ride after classes and it’ll be almost dark by the time I leave.

Thanks again for the suggestions and I’ll keep them in mind.

“The question is not can they speak or can they reason, but can they suffer?”

[This message was edited by Tosca on Oct. 20, 2001 at 09:59 PM.]

[RegalBeagle]

Tosca, I understand the discomfort with the situation. I would be as well. I think it is a sad statement of our society that women on their own at night should be so wary, but that is the way it is and you are smart to aware of your surroundings.

The general guidelines for making yourself safe you seem familiar with, appear confident at all times, walk purposely, don’t hunch your shoulders, hold your head up and be very forward with any people you meet. Good idea to pull out the cell phone.

If getting a ride isn’t an option, take up your mother’s offer of taxi fare. Otherwise, you will have this weekly discomfort.

As for your employer, if they need you to work in the evenings, then that is what they need. If it is not part of your arrangement with the employer to provide transportation, then I can’t see how they are responsibile for the discomfort you feel taking public transit. It totally depends on the employer though whether they would adjust your hours or assist with your transportation. You can ask for this consideration.

My thought is though, if you can’t bum a ride to a more public place or accept your Mom’s offer, you have to weigh the weekly discomfort against all the reasons you enjoy the arrangement. After all, you are talking about discomfort and a feeling of vulnerability rather than “a something will happen”.

As I said before, I absolutely understand your feelings.

[Cactuskate]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by coco:
Life is not fair…women can NOT go out alone at night. Let’s not pretend that we can defend ourselves alone…we cannot. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

We most certainly can defend ourselves. And I guess it depends on your definition of alone. I can defend myself just fine with my good friend “Mr. Colt 38 Detective Special”.

I will not be held hostage by our society. But I also will not tempt fate or put myself knowingly in a dangerous situation. And I will do whatever I can to educate and position myself to take control of my own DEFENSE.

I respect the laws of the land, but I never felt as vulnerable as I did when broken down on the side of the road in California. Their laws do not allow for carrying a firearm loaded. So here I am in “illegal alien land” with nothing but my trusty Swiss army knife. Oh well…

Please do not read this as some NRA-gun-waving-pistol-packin’-mama!!! I have major issues with the NRA as well. I just firmly believe in taking control of my own defense. I know my choices and am prepared to exercise my options.

“The older I get, the better I used to be, but who the heck cares!”

[Trixie]

Be careful with pepper spray – a large percentage of the time, people don’t spray their attacker but rather themselves. If you’re going to use it, know how it works – and make sure you actually aim it away from you.