Want to take lessons and jump again but anxiety holding me back

[saitou_amaya]

Hoping others might have experienced this before or have words of wisdom. A bit of background on me: I starting riding about 20 years ago as a kid at a hunter/jumper lesson barn. Throughout middle and high school I showed local hunter/jumper shows, in 2’ 6"/ 3’ divisions. Then in college I showed IHSA for 5 years. Graduated college, moved to a new city with my horse, found a new trainer and showed in the jumpers for a couple years locally on my horse. About two years ago, my horse developed some soundness issues and retired from jumping. During this time I also decided I wanted to pursue my master’s degree, focus more on my career, and finances and saving up for a house.

Now my own horse is 22 years old and I’m 29 (where did time go??). I do still ride 5-6 days a week, but just casually to keep my old guy in shape. I haven’t actually jumped except small jumps here or there on my old guy in over 2 years. But I miss jumping terribly. Now I have the money I can pursue riding however I’d like and was thinking about finding a trainer and taking jumping lessons to start. But the biggest thing holding me back is my own fear and anxiety! Even thinking about jumping again makes my stomach do nervous flips.

At this point, I’m not looking to compete or anything too exciting. Just have some fun and cruise around some small courses on a safe schoolie. Ideally, I’d love to find a trainer who is patient with nervous riders and has some safe school horses. In college, I was very lucky to have access to some of the kindest school horses that didn’t care if I got a little nervous and missed a distance or jumped up their neck sometimes. I’d love to find something like that again. Honestly, I’ve always been a nervous rider. Fearful, talent-less amateur should be my middle name.

I’ve been pondering this for months, have a potential trainer and barn picked out and have gone to their Facebook page multiple times trying to get the nerve to send a message but just can’t. There’s two problems holding me back. One is the realization I’m older than I was and I’m really afraid of falling off or getting hurt! I haven’t fallen of a horse in probably 6-7 years. My old guy is a saint. The thought of a horse stopping, bucking, or other such behavior makes me want to barf. I was also diagnosed with cancer last year and went through 4 months of chemo. I am not as physically strong as I was and am honestly pretty out of shape. The second thing is I am worried about failing and embarrassing myself. There was a time when I could competently pilot most horses around a 2’6" course and I don’t think I’m that rider anymore. Any suggestions? Should I just pull the trigger and message the trainer?

[OnDeck]

It sounds like you need safe school horses and a good group of adults. if you are in any sort of horsey area you should absolutely be able to find that. You say you’re nervous because you’re not the rider who can pilot most horses around a 2’6" course anymore. Well, most lesson programs max out at about 2’6" so you will likely be right at the level of everyone else, but probably more experienced.

Message the trainer and ask about her program. She may have a perfect group of adult riders at your level who would help build your confidence. You may even end up being the young, bouncy strong one of the group! If not, ask if you can take private lessons. Explain that you want safe safe safe lesson horses and that you are not up to the task of sitting any kind of naughty behavior. You can always ask to ride a horse below your level the first few times, ask if they have a go-to horse for teaching new riders to canter.

[Scribbler]

I quit riding in college and returned in my 40s. The number one thing about being a returning rider is you have to check your ego at the door. Well, you aren’t really returning, so actually you probably haven’t lost that much ground.

But you still need to let go of expectations. It sounds like you’re making this all up into something bigger than it needs to be.

Rephrase it as an exploration.

I am getting bored with just hacking around on my Old Guy. I want to find out if I still enjoy jumping. I’m going to find a barn with safe lesson horses and do lessons for 6 months and see how I feel at the end of it.

A good coach will keep you safe. A good coach will evaluate you by looking at what you do in the saddle, not what you say about your past experience.

Also you will discover that lessons as a fee paying adult are way different from the way kids or even college kids get treated. You are not going to (hopefully) be pushed or shamed into going faster than you feel comfortable, and if you fall off no one will laugh. There will be no peer pressure and no competition and no mean girls. Just you, coach, and horse.

[four2farm]

Just started riding again after a long break, I still owned horses, just did not ride.
The step from casually surfing barns to to making the phone call was hard. I just made the decision to do it on a certain day. I had three barns on mind, called the one who most interested me Monday am. Left a message and got a call back that afternoon. Liked what she had to say so scheduled a test lesson. I planned to go and see how I felt there, then make a test lesson at barn #2.

Well the second phone call never happened. I actually stood at the mounting block for 5 minutes hyperventilating on the first lesson.

My lessons are all about what I feel comfortable doing. She pushes me to do things longer for strength. She requires what I do to be precise. I may only be trotting over poles right now but I spend time working on impulsion over those cavelletti.

For three months I did not want to canter but I did spend a lot of time perfecting bending lines and trot/ halt transitions.

Finally she asked me if I wanted to canter at my last lesson and I said okay. So my first pass I rode in “beetle” pose, locked up, hunched forward and scared to death and realized I was fine. The second pass, I could breath and from then on it was just another gait.

You have such an advantage, you are still riding. Take a test lesson. You might be surprised with the right trainer/schoolie you might find that you go from ground pole to crossrail and never look back.

If the test lesson does not feel good, move on to the next or the next until you find the right situation. I found mine, she is the ideal trainer for me and with my new horse still at home, I find I miss her when I am riding him. She never makes me feel like I am being an idiot for my anxiety, she just finds another exercise to work on until I am ready for the next step. Good Luck!

[ilovetheadd27]

I am a trainer with a few of these types of riders in my program. I believe a big consideration is the trainer/student fit, their level of patience and understanding, and also a wonderful school horse to start you out on. I really enjoy having a few adult low-key riders to balance out my very competitive clients.

I personally enjoy helping higher anxiety riders progress towards whatever goals they’re working towards, and creating plans and fun/engaging lessons that help my riders see the baby steps to making progress. I also think it takes a high level of emotional intelligence/intuition on my part, as well as strong communication and trust, and enjoy that part of my relationship with my higher anxiety adults. Definitely don’t be afraid to reach out to multiple trainers, do a few lessons, and be really honest with them to see which one can be the best for you.

Best of luck, and I just encourage you to get back in there and see every step forward as progress!! Also, don’t forget this is supposed to be fun, so find a trainer/horse fit that leaves you with more smiles on your face than not