I second this.
@Rackonteur and @Mango20. It’s a great suggestion, but here’s my worry. Where he is now, they have eyes on him all the time. If he loses a shoe, gets scratches, has hives, tears a blanket, cuts a leg, gets a shoulder rub, etc…they spot it immediately and act or notify me. If I board him somewhere more casual, will they pay the same sort of attention? I’ll only be out on weekends, so 5 days a week, I won’t have my own eyes on him.
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I’ve turned into a bit of a weekend warrior. I work shift work (12 hours, rotating days and nights). I don’t ride when I work. My job can be both mentally and physically draining and most days post shift I’m exhausted.
That leaves me with 3 days a week to ride. I have a young horse that needs the consistent work, and an older citizen that does better regarding soundness when he’s consistently ridden.
I very recently bit the bullet and moved barns. Board price went up, but I was able to offset it with a coboarder for the young one (the tb, when back in shape, will hopefully do the same). She rides 3x a week, I ride three times. My horse is also green but not dirty or dangerous.
Hands down the best choice I made. My commute to the barn is killer (an hour), but every time I get on my baby she’s better then she was before. My co-boarder is a young adult who also thinks she won the jackpot - she gets to ride with nice tack, a fun horse, and has none of the worry that comes with ownership.
I live in a part of southern Ontario that has a pretty dry horse community… so by moving the horses I am now able to truly enjoy every ride instead of feeling like I’m at square one every week.
My suggestion is to reach out to other barns if anyone has a client looking for a lease type situation.
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This post makes me feel less alone. Horse is currently out on full lease while I’m pregnant with #2 but comes back in a few months and I’m already stressy about how I’m going to juggle it all.
The last few months before she went on lease I felt horrible that I spend SO much money on her and get, at best, ~4-6 hrs a week with her. And that was with a 2x a week leasee who made at least some financial contribution (but highly subsidized as mare NEEDS 5 days a week and I was willing to compromise money for reliability and quality of rider).
I work a demanding job, hubby has time-consuming hobbies, and we’ll soon have a toddler and a newborn. I’m giving myself a year post baby #2 to see if I can make it work, then making a decision on whether to sell or not.
It feels like post-COVID there are so many people looking for leasees, that it would be pretty easy to find ride time without the expense of ownership – but leasing comes with it’s own drawbacks that I’d been hoping to avoid ever dealing with again (as the non-owner)
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I get that. It’s certainly a concern.
I was fortunate to board at two barns that were reasonable in price and also offered good, reliable care.
Neither was a training barn, though.
It’s rough, I know. 
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I think with how brutal the horse market is right now, there are tons of people looking for leases!
I don’t even have kids but I don’t think I’ll be able to own a horse again for quite awhile, just due to the cost and how difficult it is where I live.
I am currently part leasing a horse with three other women, who all have children so they can only ride once a week each. It sounds kind of crazy to be sharing a horse between this many people but they needed a fourth because between the three of them, the mare was only being worked 3 days a week or less!
If you can’t find anyone who wants to pay for a lease, you might be able to at least find a good riding, broke young person who would happily hop on for free - I know you said your barn mates aren’t really up for it, but they definitely exist maybe outside of your barn. Nearly all of my 20s I spent riding horses for free for people who didn’t have time, and it’s how I got saddle time! maybe your trainer knows people or has students without horses of their own who might work out well. My trainer helped facilitate a lot of those riding arrangements so she would vouch for my riding ability to the owners / supervise to make sure I wasn’t ruining anyones horse lol.
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Oh OP, I feel you! while I don’t have quite the family obligations you do, I have work and life obligations that put me in a similar situation. My horse is also green and is just starting to hit that groove where he’s really getting good. BUT, he does best in 5-6 days a week work, and I just can’t do that. I have had barn kids ride him, but it can be inconsistent. I am lucky in that my barn is more of a lesson barn (an excellent lesson barn, but not many people here own), and so the opportunity to share board is available. I just spoke to my trainer about it last night in fact, because my work travel is increasing this year, and to be quite honest, it would be nice to share board expenses with someone.
I agree that the possibility of moving to a less expensive barn might be a good option. In my experience, price and quality of care do not have a direct correlation. That said, if there is no one there who can help keep your horse going, that might not be the option you need. If I was in your shoes, I would strongly consider a full lease for a year to give yourself a break. Just be picky more about the rider and the care than the lease $$, make sure he’s in a great program that will continue his education.
Best of luck, I know how tough it can be!
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