Weight Issue II

[satin]

I don’t have the time right now to do this justice, but I wanted to bring up the fact that “fitting your horse well” has little to do with how thin you are- in fact, there’s a great thread about this, started by Glasgow I believe. There are plenty of reasons why a rider will or will not look right on a horse- and 99% of them have nothing to do with weight.

Cosmo- Instead of trying to stand out at Devon by losing weight, why don’t you focus your energy on improving your riding? That’s a much healthier mindset- I’d hate to see you stand out as the rider who was taken away in an ambulance due to dehydration.

[This message has been edited by Lily (edited 04-10-2000).]

[CTT]

Thanks snowbird I think Louise said it all. Its a road that everyone comes to at some point. Lastnight for me was my chance to just let it out and finaly feel like I have nothing to hide. That was the best vent for me to say what i did and Im glad I did it cause I realized threw reading what I did. Wow im realy a grate person and Im glad that Im here. Im glad that I can say what I have done and feel happy about shareing. Im tired of hideing behind a curtin anymore. It was so hard for me to get to this point but with the help of my family, jon, and my friends i have traveld a long road and have found piece within to be able to just say im not going tohide im going to fight. Im sory if for some the post was a bit much but for all this form of therapy is grate cause we all are part of the same ring. For many there are people who know otheres personaly but for me no one knows my face. They know me by my words and my battles. I feel shareing my experiences help others battle what we have in comon. I find that people become more relaxed if they know there is someone in that same boat with them. The abilaty to know you are not alone is the best fealing. Maby one of these days people will be able to put a face with all of this. I know Portia would like to know who this girl is. Maby that will hapen but till then my words are who I am.

[Magical]

CTT- I would love to write articles or sroties about my expireiences…I would just like to stay anonomous…so if it can be done that way I would be more than willing to contribute.

[Heather]

Well, this thread has been really amazing, and very inspiring. The young people who have stated their experiences here have broken my heart many times over–in fact since I read this at work, I thinki my boss must think I’m having a nervous breakdown since he keeps finding me with tears streaming down my face. You are all very brave and my heart goes out to you.

What I did want to briefly comment on however, was the negative response to an individual from the driving community’s response. While I firmly agree that this is an issue that EVERYONE should get behind, I must say that this is not an issue that everyone in the horse world is experienced with. I event, and have little or no interaction with the “big eq” or big hunter world. And, as such, this whole thread has been a shocker for me–and something I had NO idea about. In my sport there is what I would call an “expectation of fitness” but I have never, ever, heard comment about a being a given weight, size or shape. In fact, in years past when the weight rule was still in effect , people of smaller stature would eat like crazy prior to a three day so that they could bulk up as much as possible so their horses wouldn’t have to carry as much lead to meet the 165 lb requirement. Generally, I see lots of fit riders at events–I see very few “skinny” ones–they usually start hanging all over their horse before the end of cross-country because they don’t have the strength to maintain it. (Obviously, there are some people who are now and always will be twigs and do fine). So, based on my experience within my own sport, if you had come to me several weeks ago, prior to my reading this thread, and asked me “Is there a problem with eating disorders in riding?” I would honestly have said no.

What I am trying in a convoluted way to say is that this person may have responded initially this way, because they can’t imagine the depth or seriousness of this problem–as I said I have been shocked by these threads–I really had no idea. I would say the real determination should come after a response to the second message–and the ultimate determination would be someone’s response to this thread and any resulting articles.

Anyway, I hope y’all don’t see this as a flame, its not at all, as I said I have been very moved by all I have seen here. I just wanted you to know its not like this in all horse sports, so it may take some time for people to understand what you guys have been going through and dealing with. For what its worth, I have been telling everyone I can think of to come here and read these threads.

[CTT]

Glad to see you two made up

[AMom]

Diamond,

Go back to page three of the first thread and read CTT’s post!! You are not eating enough food to sustain your system let alone your activity level. And, speaking from experience, any weight you starve off with such a restrictive diet will come back quickly because it will be mostly water weight and wasted muscle mass. If you feel you MUST be a size 4, please at least consider getting there more slowly and not being a calorie counter/crash dieter jeapordizing your health. I just don’t think a size 6 is big!

Parents can be really harsh about weight–mine were. In fact, my mother had me going to the Diet Center at age 9, that’s right, 9 because she thought I should be really slim at that age. Looking back I realize that that is when my battles with food began. As a nine year old I already had a whole list of forbidden foods and I developed a very unhealthy relationship with food.

Diamond, please heed CTT’s cautionary tale…

I just read CTT’s reply to you, Diamond, and I must defer to her! She said it in a much more graceful way than I did. I am rooting for you!

[This message has been edited by CWP (edited 04-07-2000).]

[CTT]

Snowbird you sound like me. Im glad you responded the way you did. You braught up a good point. I thought back to when my mother was young and back in the 50’s when she was a teen ager she had an 18inch waist. No jokeing. I even have the belt to prove it. I just wish More people looked at the larger picture. I hope something good comes of all of this. I realy enjoied what you had to say.
after I read you post for the 4th time It made me realize why is it so important to them if they have no weight problem. Because it has been drilled.i find the nicest riders are the ones that are fit, built, energetic,look healthy and don’t pass out from exaustion. Im sure Snowbird being such a grate trainer you don’t drill people to think this junk. I like to see a healthy apearence. Im sure when this comes in to you barn it is delt with but how can the people who are not lucky to have you get this point across. Any ideas. I realy would like more of your imput

[This message has been edited by CTT (edited 04-08-2000).]

[HunterPonyRider]

I’ve been lurking in the shadows on this thread, but I figured I should speak up.

Any junior knows that the image of the “perfect” rider is thin. I am thin naturally, I’m 5’4" and weigh 92 pounds. I actually lose weight in my sleep and I think I lose it because I get stressed easily. Anyways, my last trainer yelled at me one day for wearing a tank top! She said I was anorexic and that I could no longer wear tanks to the barn, even in the summer! Ever since I have become very aware of my weight. I have recovered so to speak, but not fully.

On the other side of the spectrum, I have had people tell me to watch my weight! They will say things like, “…You’re weight will catch up to you, watch what you’re eating…” So no matter what, you can’t please anyone.

[Duffy]

OMG, Cozmo!!! You’re not really reading or comprehending these posts at all and it’s not only disheartening, it’s extremely SCARY! You can have your whole life in front of you and you may not, because of this path you’ve chosen. And yes, I may get flamed for this, but you have made the choice. Hopefully, you will change your mind in time, but for now, it’s obviously been your own decision to take this route of self-destruction! How can you say that you’re basically perfect and that all you need in life is to win at the indoors!!! Do you really feel that way? PLEASE seek some help NOW!

If anyone knows this girl, please intervene with her trainers/parents, whatever, NOW. This is frightening!

[This message has been edited by Duffy (edited 04-09-2000).]

[Snowbird]

No…No…No…that’s not the way. You started out fine and you finished up fine.

Right, life will not be perfect, it will not change and no one will even remember or notice if you win the big one at the indoors!
They won’t even notice if you die on the way! You’ll just be one less to beat.

The quote:
I was such a spoiled brat before, and I only focused on winning… so much so that I was unable to do it! Being around my horses more and being responsible for them changed me so much… I learned to love the sport for the little things like arriving at the shows at the crack of dawn only to hear the birds and the sound of the horses munching on hay. I stopped going to the shows in hopes of
expereincing the thrill of victory, and instead, I went for dozens of other reasons, like to see my friends and enjoy preparing my horse to show. Winning became secondary and I was so much happier.

That is the real purpose of showing. Life does not change because for one minute you were skinny.

[Amanda]

I am sorry if I offend anyone. Me my self being slightly on the chubby side- it sometimes upsets me when judges pick the thinner ones over the healthily pudgy ones! I mean, the Top 2 Finishers of the Onondarka Medal at The Oaks this past weekend were sticks! Literally! Everyone can be healthier if the judges stop placing all the thin ones first- and IT IS NOT just the Rated judges- I was at a County Show to get my pony used to the grass and show in some medals. I have wonderful equitation- but I’m no stick figure- and I place last with a bunch of people who are totally thin…It is somewhat prejudice…and is definetly a problem among teens these days!

Amanda

[Bascule]

Thank you Snowbird.

[Regalmeans]

Magical - you realy should consider that - it could help so many people! It scares me how invincible people think the are - they don’t seem to realize that losing weight can be an addicition just like drugs or alcohol.

Sarah (who has posted WAY to many times on this thread - and doesn’t plan to stop)

PS _- um… hey guys? Are we going to need a Weight Issue III thread here? B/c we are fast approaching having a page 3 of this thread… .

[Regalmeans]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CTT:
Sarah Ill let you take it to the third if need be. I wish I knew you back when. Weatherford you too. Maby weatherford we can get something going soon and with your posative encuragement we will get all we talked about rolling. Actualy Majic Im talking with erin to remain nameless on what I have been asked to write. send me a note and Ill send you what erin sent me. We have a group thing going at the moment and I would like to include you and sarah on it too so sarah send me a note to. also Snowbird are you interested? I would like to have you on the team.
CTT<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thanks for the invite CTT! - I’ll email you when I get home (I’m at school now and I don’t like using my email here b/c it is impossible to get into - so I’ll email you from my real account or you can drop me a line regalmeans@home.com - I have more to say but I have to get to class - and I was working on my letters to the AHSA last night - but I’m still not quite sure what to say can anyone (Snowbird, CTT, etc…) give me some ideas? Thanks!

~Sarah

[Weatherford]

Moving this one up, too. Please don’t post here, just read and post to Weight III.

[CTT]

Cozmo read my post to Diamond and apy it to yourself. Again remember its your body. I take it you are young. Im not to far ahead of you, yet I have had some more experience. Doing un healthy things to your body will leave an afect on you for when you get older. If you take proper care of yourself with the right foods viatamins and proper exercise other than rideiny you will see a better person yet find that you have more energie and look grate. When you get rid of excess fat that seams not to be important you end up haveing less nutrision for your muscles to grow. Your main concern should not be loosing it it should be developeing it into other forms. Your main concern should be takeing the corect vitamins that your body needs, Calcium, Magneasum, Iorn Vitamin B12, Bata caroteens, ect. Don’t use the stuff along the lines of centrum get each pill in a diffremt bottle so you can take what is neaded. I hate to bring this up but for us feamales doing stuff like this afects one thing that we get once a month. Its called our period. Ok guys laugh at me but for the females when you starve yourself you are also hurting yourself when it comes to this time of month. Your major concern should be to make sure you are eating well and takeing the proper witamins so that when this time roles aroung you have the sustained energy to function. Remember your blood contains many vitamins and especialy iorn. At this time you loose your vitamins so you need to replenis them faster this is doen by adjusting your vitamins. I could go on about more of the problems you do to your body by doing this but Ill wait till my next post to add.

[J_Turner]

Sandstone – that was about the scariest thing I’ve ever heard on any horse bulletin board, bar none.

Why are you encouraging someone to mistreat her body, when you obviously KNOW it’s wrong.

Obviously what got her to a size 4, was good, honest, hard exercise. Diamond, keep doing that!

Sandstone – don’t be a lemming. Be a leader. Why don’t you start a workout group with your friends? Be the fittest and strongest barn on the circuit!

You want a fit horse to ride, right? Not some emaciated thing … the logic should follow.

[Regalmeans]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CTT:
[B]But eating disorders - andthe consitant pressure is a horrible place to be. I have survived - as have those here - but what about those who were lost? Could any of you be next?

Sarah[/B]

Sarah First of all THANK YOU. There are a fue questions i do have and I don’t mean to offend you. Are you saying you are a vegitarian or ar you the type of person who is selective with what you eat. I too from time to time eat junk food but over the years ( especialy since my last sickness) I have not had the desire to eat cirten junk foods. I don’t know why but for some reason I just don’t crave it.

Your last statement hit me hard. What about the ones who were lost? Could any of you be next? These two questions can be interpetid in so many ways. I don’t know what you were feeling when you wrote thoes words but for me I interpeted them as this: What about the people who are lost and don’t realize what they are doing? Are any of us who folow like this next?
Any of us can interpit your post as is cause I see that with some of what you have said we can aply to us in our own life. Thankyou[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

CTT - you’re welcome. As for your question- I’m not offended - I am semi vegetarian - I eat chicken and turkey (mostly white meat only though) I am just a fairly ‘picky’ eater. I really don’t care much for any of the things I mentioned so it’s not a sacrifice really. I am just very careful with what I eat - as I want foods that will give me energy without excess fats or sugars - thus a ‘typical’ day of food for me includes quite a bit of fruit/veggies (apple and carrots at lunch, something before riding then a salad and raw veggies or green beans with dinner), carbohydrates (usually a bagel or something at lunch or else some sort of bread or crackers etc), and protein (via chicken or some white meat - etc). When I’m competing I avoid junk food all together.

As for my statement - I meant sort of what you said - you explained it well. I meant the ones ‘lost’ as in who have died or destroyed their lives b/c of something like anorexia - but also those like you said who are struggling inside and coming closer and closer to letting go. I fear for those who will be next - and I fear some of the faces will be very familiar to us - people in our own lives? How close to home can this come before we are able to end it - must it take our friends, ourselves - what else is there?

And if you are dieting ask yourself - is it for you or someone else? Why are the number so important? why can’t we forget numbers - numbers like on scales, dress sizes - they become consuming.

What is the obession with thinness? IS thin so beautiful when you can see and count every bone? When some one faints from lack of food? When one is in a hospital with tubes down their throat feeding them? Is that beauty - that is where dieting can lead you - and it is not beautiful - it is horrible and tragetic.

The quest to satisfy others and measure up - what does it get you ultimately. If you can’t be happy with yourself the way you arewill losing weight really change that? Why are we so influenced by what others think? When can we judge people by themselves - instead of the measurements of their body?

Sarah

[Black_Market_Radio]

Well cosmo, unfortunatly it’s people like you who are going to drag down the process. Maybe you should really re-think your goals and decide if winning a stupid horse show is really worth risking your life. Horses are dangerous enough as it is, and then to add to the top of it a weak, starved child is truly sickening. Think about those starving children in 3rd world countries who have no choice but to starve. DO you think they care about a dang horse show? No, winning is not everything and I must say that you are not a true horse person if winning is all you can think about. Disgusting. Really disgusting. You are in it to win, not for the love of the horse obviously, and that is what is the saddest part of everything. It’s horrible when people do everything they can to make the horse better, but then it’s also bad that you are doing it to yourself. Well, I guess it’s better than doing it to the horse who doesn’t have a choice. But YOU do have a choice, and it is a life or death one. Think about your future, not just the NOW. THat is the problem with most young people today. Instant gratification. They are willing to risk it all so they can be happy NOW. Who cares what happens in the future right? It doesn’t matter, when the future comes I will deal with it then. So I may have health problems for the rest of my life if I end up living but for heavens sake I won a frickin horse show. If I live to see my children grow and they ask why mom has so many health problems and has a hard time eating hardly anything and still gains twice as much weight as they should because they have no metabolism left, she can tell them that it was all worth it for a freakin blue ribbon that is packed away in a box somewhere and you no longer can ride because of your health struggles. Yeah, it’s worth it isn’t it?

[chief]

COSMO- Knock it off now, or else it will continue to haunt you for the rest of your life! Talk to your parents or an adult that you trust who will LISTEN to how you feel and not just tell you what to do.

I was in a very similar position as you as a junior- I actually walked away from a top EQ. barn right at the height of my “career” and at the verge of being the IT Girl of 15-17 equitation. Why? I was 5’8" and 100 pounds- exhausted, had stomach ulcers and strange abdominal pains. I never took diet pills or drugs- I just didn’t eat and the anxiety of being number 1 was enough to create the ulcers. One day, my dad noticed that I was picking at my favorite salad that he always made- he took me aside and simply said, “I know what you are doing, knock it off, or you’ll lose it all, and I don’t mean your horse… there are more important things in life.” I spent a lot of time after that talking to my dad about perfection, weight, pressures, etc. So, I made the decision to move to a low pressure barn, gained 15 pounds and had a blast. I occassionally won an Eq. class, but never to the level that I probably would have in the other barn. Did I regret the move? A little then, but now? Not at all. Had I stayed at the big barn, yes, I probably would have made finals, but what to show for it later?

The great thing about riding, unlike sports like gymnastics or skating, your career doesn’t end at 18… in fact, it keeps getting better as you get older. You can achieve GREAT things at 20 - 30- 50 and on up. To quote George Morris, “Riding takes a lifetime to learn- and just when you think you’ve got it, another challenge comes along to put you in your place.” Don’t pinpoint your junior years as being the END… it’s just the beginning.

And, furthermore, distinguish yourself with poise and confidence, not thinness. If you’re concerned about setting yourself apart from Sara, Avery and Georgina, then work without stirrups five times as much, work on your transitions until they’re flawless, develop a killer lower leg and put on an air of confidence in the ring- that’s what is noticed! Cozmo, if I could play a record of me at age 16, we would have sounded the same. Don’t go down that road- it’s been a very long and bumpy one for me, and at age 29 just starting to smooth out.