Weight Issue II

[CTT]

I find that this is a very important topic to be talking about. Because of the lenghth of the other one I find it important to keep this thread going. I recomend reading the 3rd page of that thread cause I finaly realized its time for us to talk about it on the personal leval. I don’t exspect people to tell their story like i did but what is neaded is to find a way to help educate people on what happend when we look to much at the image factor. We need to reach out to people of our industry and let the people know that this needs to stop. I hope people can find it in themselvs and share how all of this has affected you. I know some have already stated but what is needed is for us to get together to stop this and to premote the health and not the image. Ok Ill stop sory but this is a very special topic for me and im tired of waching talented riders thinking they are fat. Its not right.

Other weight threads are:
Weight IV LetÂ’s Act - http://www.chronofhorse.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001738.html
Weight I - http://www.chronofhorse.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001146.html
Weight II - http://www.chronofhorse.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001206.html
Weight III - http://www.chronofhorse.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001245.html
Weight Essay - http://www.chronofhorse.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001457.html

[This message has been edited by Weatherford (edited 06-02-2000).]

[Snowbird]

CTT,
One of the wonderful things about cyberspace is that you get the chance to vent, to put ideas together and think them out. That’s what happened in the old days when we sent the message in the bottle out to sea. Today you get back and that is very reassuring.

I’d like to give you a thought too, after years of trying to solve some of the basic mysteries of “Why” in our lives. I have a conclusion, this is purgatory.

We’ve all been somewhere else, and we’re all going somewhere else. This is inbetween spaces. Those who were very good and had learned what they needed to know got out quicker than those of us that haven’t learned. So in essence that answers why so many beautiful kind and honest young people leave us too soon. It also explains why those who must live to be 125 are still with us.

This idea has given me a lot of peace. You should read a philosopher by the name of Ospensky. The short version is this, if you lose a leg, are you any less you? If you lose both legs and both arms are you still you? So then where is it you reside. His concept is that we just live inside a life support system, just like the men on the moon have to wear a space suit to be alive. So if we take off the suit, does that make us any less ourselves. Think about it, and you will begin to realize that we are all living inside a “life support system”, and when we leave it behind your question to answer is are we still “US”? I think so.

CTT, I know it’s hard but don’t let yourself dwell on all the terrible things that can happen, or might happen or even will happen.
I am a believer in the power of positive thinking. Concentrate your efforts on what is good, what is beautiful and what is healthy and then you will find confidence and courage. There really is a good side to everything, you just need to find it.

[Regalmeans]

Magical - your post brought tears to my eyes - and moved me more than I have words to tell.

Thank you for sharing.

Sarah

[HunterPonyRider]

Hi! My site the Pony Circuit just opened up a section for “junior” riders. I am having trouble coming up with ideas for it, but I think having an article about this entire situation. Can someone e-mail me ( ThePonyCircuit@email.com ) if you are interested in writing an article about this? I think it would benefit a lot of people and help people realize that they need to except who they are.

[Black_Market_Radio]

Ok Heather! Friends?

[CTT]

Diamond first thing to look at is how did you feel about yourself before you went to florida. You probubly felt good right? Only after this change you saw yourself as fat. What you need to look at is how this is afecting you internaly. I am a big hater of diet pills. If you want to be that 4 again quit starveing yourself its in no way healthy. Im sure in your toun they have a weight gym that you can go to. you said with runing and everything it helped you loose weight. Don’t do what you think everyone wants from you. Do what you want. Im going to say this again its your body not someone elses. Your first objective is not to aim for quick dieting. Try going to the gym atleast 2 times a week and whan your not there try a nice light jog. I bet you have a bike somewhere in that garage. If you are like me and hate joging subsadize it with bikeing. The objectiwe is to motavate you motabalism to burn. Your not going to do that if you starve yourself. Actualy when you do that you are stalling it so that it takes longer to burn what is in your system. Along with the daily exercise ride. Don’t do either or cause doing diffrent exrercises cause you to burn in diffrent ways. Another thing is to go to a newtrisionist. I can’t stress them hard enough. They can help you develope a good healthy diet so that you get what you needin order for your system to properly work. If you ever need someone to talk to don’t be shy you can e-mail me trippe@earthlink.net. That goes for anyone else who wants to talk on a more personal leval or is just too skaired to say it publicly. Im not a biest person and actualy ask the ones who know me. im pritty easy to relate to.

[CTT]

Ok Erin this one is for you. I hope you had a nice long weekend I hope you enjoy what we have started here since I know this is along the lines of what you will be writeing about in the JR issue. I actualy have an idea that i would like you to see about posably make happen. I feel it is important to talk about these isues and posably adding a new colum to the cronicle that deals with these things. I think what would make a grat colum would be to talk about heathy eating habits, exercises, disorders in our industry and maby some personal letters from people like us that have made it a part of life. I find this to be contraversial but it neads to be discussed and WE nead to premote not eating disorders but healthy habits. So what do you think?

[Melissa]

I feel very sorry for everyone who has gone through soooo much just to look like the perfect hunter or Equ. look. I hope the best for all of you. Those of you who havent done anything yet, why dont we help you start the right way! If anyone knows of any sites that are of good diet plans, ect… lets give some people some help and make sure they make the right decision in loosing weight, not the wrong one~

[Snowbird]

Right on Regalmeans,
They’re only purpose is to build self esteem in your accomplishments. They are a way of measuring progress. They are not an end in themselves.

So we have a rally! Go to http://www.ahsa.org
click on staff. Write your email and then send copies to everyone including Alan Balch

Go to http://www.nhjc.org
click on committees, and send your letters to everyone on your Zone Committee, and to their Licensed Officials Committee.

And, don’t stop, don’t get discouraged just all of you and all of your friends keep sending those emails. They will notice and they will have to act.

The first step change judging standards. At all clinics instruct the judges that skinny is not a valid criteria.

[Black_Market_Radio]

Ok Teddy, I agree with SOME of what you said, however, IT IS THE MINDSET THAT YOU HAVE THAT KEEPS US IN A RUT!!! We CAN fight it and FITNESS should be emphasized, but not by judges! A trainer for a highly competative person can recommend a work out schedual for strength and fitness, but not everyone is going to look like a runway model somehow wandered onto show grounds. MOST people are not stick skinny, I am very thin, I am only 5’3 and weigh about 103, but I wear a size 7! Why? Because I work out and I have a VERY strong stomach. Most people can’t believe I wear a 7, but they don’t think that is fat either! So to these girls who are saying “oh my gosh, I am 5’9 and wear a size 6, I am FAT!!!” I cannot sympathize with them. Instead of starving yourself, eat a well balanced, good diet and excercise. I got a few responses from some of those people I e-mailed at AHSA, and got some good responses to them. It may not be stoppes completely, but it can be slowed way down. Teddy, I am sorry but you are almost glorifying eating disorders in your first couple of paragraphs! This is a SERIOUS thing and it needs to be taken care of. I will use another analogy and maybe you will get it this time. If we went along with the mindset of “well, it’s not right but that’s the way it is” then SLAVERY would still be going on today! Don’t just follow the heard like a dumb cow, stand up and fight for what is right. You are giving up without even trying, and being that I am a Marine and we are taught to NEVER give up, I have to say that that kind of behavior is dishonerable and sad. To win the war you have to fight, if you want change you have to go after it. If you accept the way things are even if you don’t like it, that is terrible. If something is blatantly and morally wrong, then it SHOULD be questioned and bringing it to light WILL help change things a little, but that is not enough.

[Cozmo]

I certainly agree with all of you when you say that it is gross what girls will do to themselves to win! I’m jaust saying that judges like it- it is what wins, no matter what! If you weigh 135 and are 5 ft 8 in and you put in a good round you will probably be beat by a girl weighing 120 and 5 ft 8 in. I have seen it happen, I have expierenced it myself. The other week, I was called back in the medal in 2nd and I didn’t have that wonderful of a test (my horse doesn’t leave other horses when it’s my turn). But, the girl who was coming back in first was about 135 and 5 ft 4 in. She had a fine round, much better than mine, and she ended up second…later I found out that I won because I “fit my horse better”- that is what the judge said to my trainer. It happens… and until it stops happining nothing is going to change about the way riders view themselves…

[Louise]

Snowbird, I have tears in my eyes. What a perfect post, thank you.

[J_Turner]

Magical – thank you. People think that having money and a winning A3 hunter is everything. It’s not.

I’m a teacher, and I struggled with whether to work in the inner city, or not. Some of my master’s degree colleagues refused to work in a suburban/wealthy/or private school. My philosophy:

Mental pain knows no financial bounds.

There’s always a kid somewhere, anywhere who needs help.

[Black_Market_Radio]

You want an even better response? This was in my mailbox this morning!

are you perhaps confusing the riding world with the DRIVING world? We have
many “plump” men and women driving and happily competing, and I have only
recently heard on the carriage driving list that someone somewhere commented
on a driver’s weight. The ADS has no specs anywhere regarding the weight of
the people on the carriage. That the United States is obsessed with thinness
is a general, societal problem that seems to be ever influential, yet we are
still the most overwieght people in the world (myself included!).
I am not sure what I can do about this problem, but really, it doesn’t seem
to be one in ADS driving competitions.

Here’s my response:

I am talking about the hunter world mostly, especially the equitation
classes. My point was to raise awareness to everyone, because even
though it’s not our discipline doesn’t mean it’s not our problem. We as
a whole equestrian world need to stand up and put a halt to this. I
don’t even ride eq, I am a dressage rider, but I have seen how this type
of behavior from judges and trainers destroy people. Have you ever known
anyone with an eating disorder? One of my best friends has one and it’s
heartbreaking to see her go through it. Please don’t just ignore it and
say “It’s not my discipline so it’s not my problem.” I am sure you go to
the same meetings as the h/j people, maybe you and everyone else (I
e-mailed everyone in the AHSA who has an e-mail address with this same
letter) should discuss this issue. It is a huge problem and it needs to
be talked about instead of swept under the rug. Thank you for your time.

[Heather]

Sounds Good!

[Cozmo]

I talked to my trainer about what I overheard adn she apologized adn said that I was too skinny. But, I still feel fat! I’ve been taking diet pills also, adn I started on water pills- which make you pee out all of your water weight. I talked to another trainer and she said it would be a good idea if I lost weight for Devon.

[Snowbird]

One of the wonderful things about our sport is the right to individualism. Be what you can be!

I am so depressed reading about all of you and the “image”, that is just so wrong. Diet pills instead of food, and pounding your beautiful young bodies trying to fit a mold is very sad.

I speak from experience, I spent the first half of my life trying to gain weight and the now the last half thinking about losing weight.

Every human being has a body clock and it knows what you should weigh. It will do what it needs to do to try and make you survive. If you interfere you are gambling with your life.If you don’t eat it feeds on your body fat. When there is none you die. Did you know that it is fat that makes your brain work? Without it all those little brain cells can’t communicate. So you’ll look right and then be a miserable rider because you can’t think and have no reflexes.

1. Is a blue ribbon worth dying for?
2. Who even remembers who won the Medal and Maclay 5 years ago?
3. The fashion people (and I was one) will lie to you to get you to buy! 50 years ago a Size 10, was probably about what a size 2 is now. In cheap clothes it was a size 12, in expensive clothes it was a size 10, why? just to make you feel good and buy more. Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 not a 2, they lied about that too.

Who in the world decided that a skeleton looks better on a horse than a real person? What makes you listen to these stupid people who are probably nice and fat and round? How is it possible for clothes designed for women to look better hanging on a bag of bones? Who has ever convinced you that you can ride better, control a horse better or feel better if you are starved so much you are barely alive?

Stand up for yourselves, your body is a temple that should be cherished and not abused. Not one of you that I have read is even close to a weight problem. None of you sound like food addicts. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and did you ever think that maybe your father was happy to see you back to normal.

If God wanted everyone to be the same he would have skipped the whole birth thing and we would have started with clones. What a boring and uninteresting world this would be if we all looked exactly alike, and we all thought exactly alike and we did everything exactly the same. Individuality is the gift of life. Vanity is it’s downfall.

[Snowbird]

Maybe that is the secret. Look for the people whose faces are missing now and used to be at shows with you all the time. How many did we lose not just to eating problems but image problems?

You children are the victims of an advertising strategy designed to make you WANT! Those who practice this strategy don’t care about you or what happens to you. They just want your money.

The economy depends on selling you all sorts of supplements, vitamins, diets, diet foods new clothes and an assortment of creams an ointments to make you beautiful, skinny and healthy.

You need to assert your god given right to be an individual and be proud of who and what you are. When the image takes more importance than the talent the shallowness will drive you into other self punishing things like alcohol and drugs because they are a way to excape what you believe is your own ugliness.

Everyone is ugly to some people, and beautiful to some people. You just need to know that you have the privilege of being you. Square those shoulders and look the world back in the eye knowing that you are an individual and being different is a joy and not a punishment.

You ride for yourself, you ride to enjoy the sport and your horse. You ride to enjoy the sun and the wind in your face. If a judge’s opinion of about one minute of your life is so important than don’t show. You’re not ready. It is afterall just a progress report and not the final diploma.

[Cozmo]

All of the advice you guys have given me I’ve thought about for a really long time- thank you! I needed an awakening. But, I’m not saying that I’m going to start eating right entirely now… All of you trying to contact the ahsa have a very good idea, but until then, judges are probably still going to look at me and think I need to loose weight. It’s hard because I compete against people like Sara Willeman and Avery Dimmig and Georgina Bloomberg and Lourdes who have all basicly been placed first, second and third before they even walk into the ring- I’m not saying that they don’t have talent and that they don’t work hard- b/c they do- I’m friends w/ them adn I SEE how hard they work. I have to pick another way to stand out- In WEF people were saying how skinny I was and how they envied my body. My boyfriend- who is also affileated w/ the horse show world- told me that people were complementing him on how great I looked. Now, because I’m not walking and I have more time to eat and lots of other factors, I gained weight. People still think I look fine, but I don’t really think so anymore. I HAVE to stand out at Devon- in some way or antoher!!! I guess if the only way I can do that is to loose weight- then I’ll do it- I’ll do anything. I know you say wining isn’t everything- but it is to me. I’m basicly perfect- I know you’ll say that nobody is- but truthfully- all I need is to win at indoors and I’ll have everyithing I’ve ever wanted…

[N_B_T]

“First, we went to CVS and bought all of these cool vitamins. Then, she introduced me to the gym. I had never worked out before, and to me the gym was a foreign land with scary equipment and intense people, but she showed me the ropes and set up a routine, and I quickly got the hang of it. She supervised my eating, making me eat breakfast for the first time ever, cutting the caffeine out of my diet, and introducing me to the world of the mythical “balanced diet”. And then there was the water, oh god the water. I had to drink it 24-7. I also had to make sure I slept at least 6 hours every night. I felt so wonderful, AND I lost 5 pounds… all in good health!”

I think the last sentence is very important…usually, attention to fitness and healthy eating results in weight loss, as well as more strength. If, after that, you still want to reduce your body fat, you can reduce fats in your diet. It’s possible to lose weight AND be healthy AND gain strength without bulking up…or, bulk up, if you like. It’s certainly true that different body types and metabolisms will react differently to the same regime. Figure out what you need for your body and your activity level. Also, you may find that fitness alone is what suits you, and that you don’t need to strive for zero body fat! Finally, it truly is how you feel about yourself that counts in the final analysis, not your measurements.

Speaking of which, muscle mass vs. fat is going to determine weight. During one period of my life, I lost three sizes and only seven pounds (5’7") which just goes to show you.

To follow the regime above takes some time, attention, and discipline…but there are young women posting on this thread who say they will do anything to improve their competitiveness…if so, do the right thing, no shortcuts (bad for horses? bad for you, too!). And think very hard about what exactly it is that you think you need to be or appear to be before you take such shortcuts. The poster who suggested service as a means of gaining perspective makes a very good point.

(The quote is from two posts back, I think…)

[This message has been edited by Nancey Phillips Fisher (edited 04-09-2000).]