Thanks CTT - that means alot to me to hear (read?) you say (write?) that. Very very much - and thank you, I will.
Sarah
Continuing from the other thread –
Magical, your story is heartbreaking. Please try to remember that some good has come of it, and can come of it, because by telling your story you may help prevent others from going through the same anguish.
Heather, I agree with your comments, and I hope no one will think they were negative. This emphasis on being overly skinny that is apparently so strong in the hunter and eq world, thankfully doesn’t seem to be so in other areas of our sport. When I came back to riding 8 years ago, I started out eventing and now do jumpers, and I too hadn’t seen this problem in those disciplines. Also, it’s been a long time since I was a teenager, so I can’t claim any insight about what they are experiencing. Until reading these and other threads, I was not truly aware of how severe this problem is with the young women and girls in the Eq and hunter world. Sure, I’ve read a particular trainer’s comments in a national horse publication about how girls and women who looked fine to me in their photos would have to lose weight before they could be successful, but I thought they were just that – pissy comments from one overly perfectionistic male with no understanding of the female psyche or female body. But now I see the terrible pressure such comments, and the attitudes behind them, have generated.
The good news is, if the problem is peculiar to one area of the sport, we can better focus on it and do what is necessary to change it. Yes, this is part of a much larger societal problem. But there is no need to add to the problem through our sport when it quite demonstrably serves no purpose whatsoever. Being a size 2 versus a size 8, or 10, or whatever, really doesn’t make anyone ride better. Isn’t Eq supposed to be about proper riding form leading to effective function? What does how skinny your thigh is have to do with that? If the pressure is coming from girls being given the idea that “I can’t win unless I’m skinny,” then we need to make very sure the best rider is rewarded in the ring, not the skinniest, so the trainers and riders can see that things have changed and the best rider will win regardless of body size.
[This message has been edited by Portia (edited 04-12-2000).]
I am one who has personal experience with both worlds. I went to college for “fashion design” grew up with a hairdresser mother and so clothes and fashion were my world. I was 5’7" and with a waist that a waist cincher could pull in to 14". Man, and that was all the way around. I saved my wedding dress for my daughters and neither of them could get even close to zipping them up and they are by far not fat. Size 6 or 7 tops. They were devastated. I was the natural stick figure, no boobs and no butt.
Not only did I eat everything but I had spent my life being so skinny that everyone tried to stuff me with food. Gobs of butter, egg nogs with heavy cream and some awful goop made by Schenley that was supposed to be equal to a full meal six times a day. I couldn’t put on an ounce. I was so tired of being picked on for being too skinny. My doctor died before I ever made 115 pounds.
That lasted for years until I hit 45, maybe even 50 before it caught up with me. Then whatever it was that had kept me skinny shut down. Suddenly, I was never hungry and ate less than anyone you’ve ever known and the pounds kept creeping up. Even when I’ve bee sick from both ends (you know what I mean) for days I never lost an ounce.
So I’ve done skinny for 40 years and I guess the next 40 years I’ll learn about fat. Not obese, size 14-16 but definitely not skinny.
I will tell you what the posters have said is true. Those pictures are so retouched that when I modeled you could have a picture of me face to face on two pages and not know it was the same person. In fashion they liked the girls to like coat hangers. It was easy to pin up the back that didn’t show so that the front looked fine on the skinny model. Anyone with a bustline or hips was out, just for practical presentation reasons.
There is another thing to remember, the curves and lines of a feminine woman are not attractive to a lot of designers.They are afraid that a real female might be attractive at the wrong time and place. They like people who look like young boys. There are a lot of different ideas an motivation behind the images that are presented, especially in these days of diverse life styles and sexual preferences.
So what I say is yes be proud “I AM Woman”. I find incongruous that in these days of so-called feminine liberation we are allowing ourselves to be trapped by images created to satisfy the personal opinions of such unimportant people. You are a female and we are built differently and we should be proud of what makes us different.
My old riding instructor to get us to sit up straight and ride proud would say “OK! Now show me your trophies”. Girls are always going to be girls, why should you look like boys? If they want boys then let’s get boys to ride, and let’s not try to be a poor imitation of a boy.
[This message has been edited by Snowbird (edited 04-12-2000).]
Magical, thank you for posting. I was so very upset and worried for cozmo. I hope she knows how much we all care about her, even if we dont know who she is . I myself wont “try to figure it out”. It dosn’t really matter. All that does is tht she is open about her dilemma, that she and her family are getting help( yes it is a family issue) and that she will be backed and supported by loving friends. Perhaps one day she will be able to help other young women like herself. That will be a greatest blue ribbon she could ever win.
My 2 Cents…Eating disorders are a serious condition that often affect highly disciplined young women. Judges, trainers, etc., may encourage the continuation of the condition by indicating to the victim that a thin body is the ideal body on a horse.
In reality – my daughter was recently a successful equitation rider without an eating disorder. She is strong and healthy. Muscular and fit. Not tall and not skinny. Many of her peers, also successful equitation riders, are not skinny. They work hard and ride well.
My message is – don’t blame the sport. When I rode as a junior, I weighed more than I do now (not skinny). I was successful in equitation. At the end of my junior career, after winning an important class, a trainer called me (jokingly, I think) a “fat girl”. Not long after that, I developed an eating disorder. I worked my way out of it, hopefully before it shortened my lifespan too much, but it had nothing to do with the sport of riding. It had to do with all the psychological aspects that are now understood to contribute to this kind of problem – a need for control, self-esteem issues, discipline, etc.
If we want to help people with the problem, we have to stick to reality. People who are a healthy weight can and do, do well in hunters and equitation. Don’t blame the sport. But do, please, do get help. It’s there for you now.
Years ago, it wasn’t even recognized as a disorder. At least things have changed to where we can discuss the problem, and there are professionals that can really help.
[This message has been edited by Bertie (edited 04-15-2000).]
Unfortunantly these eating disorders are more prevelant in the hunter/eq world than in any other discipline as far as I have heard. I think in dressage we have people addicted to plastic surgery 
(TOTAL joke, but I have seen quite a few “plastic” DQ’s running around!)
CTT, I am so glad you are doing better! You are such an awesome person and I am so glad to have you on this board, you are a true inspiration!
Cozmo, if you are out there reading this, I am so glad you are getting help. You (and your body) will thank yourself in the future for stopping it early. Eating disorders are devastating and very sad. Because no matter HOW thin you get, when you look in the mirror you will always see that extra 5-10 pounds that you need to lose, even if it is not really there. Trust me, I know. I may have never had an eating disorder myself, but I grew up with an anorexic/bulemic mother, and she has in the last several years started to become comfortable with herself. She became that way because my Grandmother on my father’s side was always calling her a “heffer” or a “pudge” even at 85 pounds! My mother weighed a whopping 119 pounds at her heviest when she was pregnant with me! It’s terrible, and I hope you pull yourself through this. Just remember that no amount of therapy can help if you are not willing to change. Good luck and keep us updated on how you are doing!
Snowbird, I am with you!
CTT, You are AWESOME.
Ponykid, pony kids should look the way you describe yourself! Most kids have “baby fat”, its normal and is an issue that will resolve itself. Your body needs that protective layer to develop properly. As you mature through your teens that layer will disappear. There is no excuse for people making those comments about your current body shape. You’re obviously a young teen, or even pre-teen if you’re showing a pony, and that is much too young to start depriving your body of nutrients to fit into an ideal. I strongly encourage you to talk to your trainer and your parents, and NOT to do business with the trainers who made such remarks. Buy a horse from someone else- there are good people in this business and one of them must have a suitable mount for you! The worst thing we can do is condone this prevailing attitude that a woman’s worth is directly proportional to her weight by putting our dollars in the pockets of those who encourage this philoshophy.
