I, like Hej, had a Hungarian cavalry officer as an instructor when I was very young. Poor man, teaching basic concepts to a bunch of pre and young teen girls on a bunch of pony club ponies. He mostly looked glum, but I remember his repeated requests to “ZEET ON YOUR ZEETING BONES”.
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Last weekend, when we were discussing me using my seat to drive at certain points in the canter stride, my trainer said it’s an internal core thing, much like pooping. And then proceeded to announce the timing as I rode “poop, poop, poop, poop!” I had tears rolling down my cheeks, but it was effective.
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My trainer during a lesson told me to “DO NOTHING” when approaching a fence on one of my horses. I guess I override sometimes. So the next week I asked, “Are we doing DO NOTHING again today?” He laughed. 
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Overheard to a little girl with a tendency to roach her back over fences: “Duck butt! DUCK BUTT!”
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The CD clinic I went to: “Slap the rider, pat the horse” (after rider messed up)
At a clinic, day 2 with a very intimidating instructor. She yells questions out as orders to fix things.
Instructor barks out, “Is she leaning?”.
Which my mare was, so i yell back “She’s leaning!”
Absolute silence.
Then “Well, at least you’re honest!”
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Pennywell Bay, I always wondered how guys handled that stuff… Hmmm…
As for funniest… while cantering down to a jump, the trainer shouting, “Dolly Parton, Dolly Parton!”
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Lol! Does the first one mean open your shoulders?
Still laughing at the second one.
I don’t think any of my trainers have been this colorful.
From my friend - she kept telling me to sit up straight and all I was doing (apparently) was pulling my chin back further into my neck “How many chins do you need?”
Old school instructor to little girl who kept looking down “what color is your horse’s neck?” Little girl “Brown.” This series was repeated several times until instructor finally shouted “His color has not changed! Why you still looking at his neck?”
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Exactly! She was actually wonderful at helping me to vizualize things, I was so lucky to have worked with her!
When I was little, my trainer told me the course and said then go up the outside…(as in outside line). Well I just…“went up the outside” and didn’t do any of the jumps. She turns to my mom and says does she do well in school?
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LOL!
“If you’re not playing with your crotch, why are your hands stuck in it???”
I was young, my horse was green - “One horse and passenger coming”…true at the time, I guess!
“Don’t give up the butt.”
crying :lol:
From a brief foray into saddleseat with a very fun trainer: “The tush and not the bush!” As in, what part of my anatomy should be in the saddle. Also helpful in converting my h/j habits to dressage!
I used to say that to a student of mine…slightly more age-appropriate than telling her to moon someone over the fence!
My trainer and I have a code for when I’m hunching over and riding like a prawn…all he has to say is Bubba Gump.
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Demidq - who was the Hungarian trainer ? I bet I still use some of his exercises!
I think a humorous approach always works better than abuse or yelling. If it’s funny - you remember it better. If I ever teach, I will be sure to use some of those. Bubba Gump, indeed (snort, snort)
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