OP, your mare is gorgeous – I’d take her in a heartbeat! And you seem like a person I’d be proud to have as a friend.
[QUOTE=Alagirl;8090499]
Well, this reminds me of this old joke:
Two women meet. Woman number one caries on: My husband bought me a new jaguar!
the second woman answers : Well isn’t that nice.
Then he bought me a new house with 10 bedrooms!
Why isn’t that nice.
Then we got on a two week cruise in Europe.
Isn’t that nice
And he bought me a diamond ring with matching earings
Isn’t that nice.
What did your husband get you?
He send me to finishing school.
Finishing school?! Whatever for?
I learned to say ‘isn’t this nice’ instead of F U!
“Bless your heart” is a socially acceptable substitution for both though. 
[/QUOTE]
Or as my friends and I used to say: “Some folks jest ain’t got no 'cooth!”
Edit:
Now, let’s not drag my mare into this! :lol: (my mare’s name is Holly)
OP, as for the woman saying in essence, “I’m a bitch, that’s how I am.” and now she wants to be friends. Bear in mind that there is a difference between a friend, and a friendly acquaintance.
I would keep this gal firmly in the friendly acquaintance category. She has a lot of proving to do before she earns the Friend category.
So treat her politely; be a friendly acquaintance to her, but make sure you don’t tell her personal things. You never know what an acquaintance will do with the information.
deleted
Sparrowette:
Now, let’s not drag my mare into this! :lol: (my mare’s name is Holly)
Oh, no! this is a long-term specific cyber-troll wartess, who’s been kicked off more BBs than I’ve signed-up: Ever since the early 2000’s. That was just her first name. Most people recall her psychotic antics. I won’t post her old userID or last name. No, this is not ‘slick.’
[QUOTE=Howlin’Wolf;8096505]
This person’s name wouldn’t happen to be Holly, would it? ;)[/QUOTE]
Oh no! Don’t say the name! Who knows what you might conjure up!
[QUOTE=rockymouse;8090405]
And I just saw her photo. Wowee! She looks like a gorgeous machine![/QUOTE]
I agree. Nice mare.
Honestly, this girl will not last at your barn. Take the high road but keep the barn manager apprised if she is too nasty.
If she is on the young side, she very well might just not understand how to censor her words. I had a girl at a barn where I used to board who, every time I rode would say, “He looks off on his right hind” (left hind, right ear, dimple behind shoulder, you name it she could find something wrong). After awhile, I realized it was just her way of trying to start up a conversation. I chose to act like I didn’t hear her when she put her foot in her mouth, but was quick to acknowledge her when she shifted into more normal conversation. After awhile, she got the idea and stopped volunteering unsolicited advice.
That all being said, if your girl does continue to put her foot in her mouth, “that’s nice” has always worked well in my area. (That’s nice is short for Go F*** yourself)
Headphones are a great idea. If she starts talking, just yell back, “Sorry, I can’t hear with these on” … even if there’s no music on. I feel your pain. I have a co-worker from hell and am stuck with her 8 hrs a day of her trying to bully me and have tantrums over any little thing.
She’s by Skip to the Stone (Skip Trial) and out of Cafe’ Latte (Kipper Kelly). http://www.pedigreequery.com/dont+skip+the+cafe. I really like her lines, I’ve heard that the Skip Trial line is very sound and the Kipper Kellys make good sporthorses ^.^[/QUOTE]
Skip to the Stone stood at the farm next to me. He was a big, kind and handsome horse. I hauled him a few times and he was always a gentleman.
[QUOTE=arapaloosa_lady;8090596]
Snarky comments are fun to talk about, but they never lead to a productive relationship. It sounds like she’s feeling insecure & now feels badly about her comments. I’d just move on. Treat her with kindness & respect, tell her to please stop if she says anything nasty, and then go back to treating her with kindness & respect.[/QUOTE]
Not so much. Often this conversation, behind the back of the person they’ve crapped on, is just a form of manipulation, so people around her go “oh… she feel sooo badly. poor little dinkum.” And then no one ever calls these kinds of people on their bulllshit.
OP - you have no reason to make nice unless this person apologizes to you, especially if this is a clear behavior pattern.
[QUOTE=5;8095317]I would advise against this. what she will learn is how poorly she can treat you and get away with it.
Bowing down to bullies ‘Never’ works.[/QUOTE]
^^
this.
Alagirl, that joke is hilarious! I wish I knew it when I worked with a woman who actually did all those things - the at-work bragfests ranged from trips to her super perfect overachieving kids to even bringing in a diamond anniversary ring to boast about how her wonderful husband surprised her with the special setting he picked out just for her.
The thing is, all of us were hard working, juggling school and kids with work and horses and all of us would have been honestly happy for her if she hadn’t been such a tone-deaf smugmeister.
OP, you’ve got a similarly socially inept challenge with this fat-headed, outspoken ‘expert’ in your barn. I hope you will be able to nip it in the bud because people like her are a cancer in a barn.
