Honestly though? … Both current trainers have stated as much, maybe not as a first rule, but they actually maintain this and both tend to be fairly down to earth with fairly mellow clients. So I might have agreed at one time, but not now.
I’m late to the party, but I had to share mine, which have been repeated:
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“I don’t do drama/this is a drama-free barn.”
If you say any variation of the word “drama” within the first few minutes of our conversation, you have been red-flagged by me for life. -
Voluntarily referring to your horse as a “rescue” or telling me how your horse was “abused” in the past. Especially when this information was not solicited by anyone and isn’t relevant to the context of the conversation.
Me: “Nice to meet you. I hear you have horses?”
Person: “Yes! Dobbin is a rescue, he was abused by his previous owner and I saved him…”
Me: (flag goes up) :rolleyes:
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I was once hand walking my horse who had just had shoulder surgery. While walking down the drive, a trainer who was in the ring teaching a lesson, yelled at me “Do you realize your horse is lame?” Uh no, really? The shaved shoulder complete with sutures didn’t give it away? Mind your own business and teach your lesson.
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I’m amazed by people who can’t tell their horse is lame. I’ve pulled up to the barn and could see a poor horse lame. Took me a long time to learn to shut up…now…keep my mouth shut.
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LOL I hope you really answered that way. 
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I understand there are a lot of poor horses walking around dead lame and their owners are clueless. I’ve had to bite my tongue more than once at some of the stupidity I’ve seen. Depending on the situation/person, I might make a comment that “Donner looks a bit sore”. If the owner asks, I’ll tell them what I think I see and recommend they get their vet out (or whatever, depending on the situation). If they take my advice, fine, otherwise, I’ve learned to let it go.
I was just surprised a “professional trainer” felt the need to make a comment (loudly) to me, not one of her customers, while she was teaching. It was very obvious I was hand walking an injured horse, the sutures were impossible to miss, even from a distance.
I have multiple old, lame horses that are not rideable, but I’m able to keep pasture sound and happy. I keep them at home because I got so tired of people’s comments that I “ought to do something for that poor horse”.
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Yeah, mouth shut is usually best. Sigh. Friend had a horse that - to me - had been lame for YEARS. Mildly, off-and-on, but definitely lame. She’d go to shows, get moderate score TL/1st Level - mostly because he was a BIG WB, though not a particularly fancy mover. She’d been a Hunter Princess, so I usually braided for her before shows. One day I was hand grazing my horse and just COULDN’T NOT say something. I just said, “Does he feel a little uneven to you?” She admitted he did. Got off. Said she’d give him some bute. This was a Tuesday. On Friday, I asked if she still wanted him braided for her Sunday show, was he alright? Oh yes, he was fine. I braided, she went to show, judge (finally!) rang her out for unsoundness. She finally got him tended to (he was in his teens by then). Special shoeing, etc. Got him to about 90% sound. Gotta think we should have been more insistent sooner, but she wouldn’t listen. It had to finally be a judge to say it before she would admit it.
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Totally agree - sometimes people just make mistakes. I once showed up to a much-anticipated 4H clinic with my son, unloaded his pony, tacked up and…realized his bridle was 30 miles away at home. No one had a spare. We used his rope halter and looped the lead into reins. It worked out.
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It really irks me about a woman who boards her horse at the barn I board at. The horse has a very obvious head bob, she is off on right front. At first when I told her what I saw and suggested she have a vet check her out, she said I had to be crazy. I did politely tell her several more times when I noticed her riding her when she was obviously lame. She said, yeah, she does feel sort of uneven. So she called the farrier out who concurred, off on the right front. He suggested a vet see the horse. She declined.
And this week she asked if the horse could be used to give lessons on. Uh, no. The horse is lame. No way will I willingly put someone on the horse to ride it when it is obviously in pain. And she still refuses to have the vet out. She says the horse is just stiff and needs to be worked out of it every time you ride. Yet, everytime she rides her, she is just as lame at the end of the ride as in the beginning. I have finally stopped saying anything, because she just doesn’t care to address the issues. I feel horrible for the poor horse.
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:lol: We clearly have met the same person before.
My polite greeting to a new boarder is not an invitation to hear a diatribe about where the horse came from and How Much Better it is now that takes forever to get through. Bonus points for the person being the absenteeist of absentee owners, so the initial bragging about how they have such a soft touch and are a natural at bringing abused horses back!!! yeahhuh.
I guess that brings me around to another one (or two?) of my red flags.
I don’t really care about absenteeism so long as they’re paying to make sure the horse is taken care of - but the people who gush effusively about how much they love spending time with dobbin and adore riding him and then proceed to be completely absentee when I’m fully aware their circumstances permit them to come out to the barn and actually ride? Personal preference, but that’s a red flag and I try to avoid those people. Drives me crazy. (I don’t care if you have a perfectly sound horse you never do anything with! If that’s what you want to do, that’s great! But if you say you want one thing and then aggressively do everything possible to not actually do the thing…geesh.)
And then the “could you do me a favor-?” person. They are perfectly capable of the act they’re asking others to do and/or have the time, but simply can’t be bothered. Either schedule it ahead of time+pay for the privilege, or do it yourself. Don’t menace your barn acquaintances for favors every second of their lives just because you can’t be bothered. :rolleyes:
I feel like I know her. :lol: Ughhhhhh #puke
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This is one of my red flags in life in general!!!
Right up there with the person whose “favors” involve using all of your stuff.
Person: “Texarkana, I hate to bother you, but I just ran out of fly spray. Can I borrow some of yours?”
Me: “Sure!”
(5 minutes later)
Person: “Oh no, Dobbin has a new scrape! I saw some ointment in your tack box, do you mind if I use some?”
Me: “Sure.”
(10 minutes later)
Person: “Hey, I’m thinking of buying Dobbin the same bit you have. Can I try yours out really quickly?”
Me: “Uh, sure?”
(30 minutes later)
Person: “Oh, I have your sweat scraper! I couldn’t find mine anywhere! You always have everything!”
Me: …
Person: “I noticed you bought a new fly mask, too. Can I ask what you did with your old one? Dobbin lost his in the field yesterday, and I was thinking you don’t need 2, right?”
Me: :mad:
It’s not that I mind sharing, it’s just that it never ends with some people!
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Teenage me was horrible about that. Things I forgot to take to shows/lessons: saddle, bridle, show clothes (all nice in their bag left hanging on the door lol), lunge line, grain, probably others. Even with checklists things would just not quite make it into the car/trailer. Luckily I outgrew that. Also helped that as time went on I acquired more crap and thus had all my extras stored in the trailer when something happened (break a cheekpiece, break reins, etc).
Mine was the “I hope you don’t mind but I let my friend borrow your side reins” And the friend didn’t board at the same barn and she had just blithely given them to her to use.
Me: Yes I do mind. Please get them back. After hounding her for a couple of weeks, they returned.
Her: I hope you don’t mind but I let so and so ride your horse. Okay, so this gal was half-boarding with me but the contract clearly states no letting your friends ride.
Me: Yes I mind.
Her: I’m going to let my boyfriend (who is not a horseperson and doesn’t ride) ride my horse.
Me: (I put my foot down and said absolutely not) No way, no how, NO! This was a TB that I was retraining and didn’t need some wannabe cowboy yahooing around on my uber sensitive mare.
She got all pissy and mad at me because I wouldn’t let her friends and family use my horse like a dude string pony. Told her that our agreement was over, take your stuff and go.
Moral: Don’t half-board with anyone.
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I hate borrowers. I found a saddle mark on my 3-day Trakehner’s back…that was a noisy time at the barn. When I found what instructor “borrowed” my horse so their student could try out a trained horse…I charged them a month’s board for their theft. I showed up unexpectedly and someone was in my saddle for a lesson. Marched out, told them to get off, took my saddle off the horse and ripped the instructor a new one.
Best suggestion…lock up your stuff and show up at odd times at the barn…amazing what you may find. Even if they say it’s the first time they’ve borrowed/stolen etc. something…don’t believe them…a thief is a liar, never to be believed.
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Totally agree…although it sadly happens to middle aged women as well…it’s like high school all over again! I think the problem is that at a barn in a competitive environment people with insecurities just can’t deal! A funny observation is that the toxic types usually dress better than they ride. Instead of minding their own business and working hard to improve their riding they will often be seen wearing high end breeches, boots etc. that are supposed to somehow elevate their riding and status as rider. I think clinging to the trainer is also a way to feel self important. It seems like there is one in every barn.
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One thing remains the same. People can be horse crazy, and horse people are crazy.
Great stories all.
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All of the above! After 60 years around horses my litany of pet peeves
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People who don’t know what they think they do - and then become the barn know-it-all and advice giver.
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People who tell you about your horse, without knowing you or your horse for 5 minutes
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People who think they know when your older / ill horse should or should not be put down - and tell everyone how
wrong you are to (or not) put them down to end their suffering - but don’t know squat about what’s wrong with your horse. -
People who are not open to learning - or re-evaluating or adding to what they know, and think that what works in one instance will work in all instances… horses are all the same. And people who think they can manhandle a horse. I have learned that where knowledge ends, abuse begins.
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People who think it’s the horses’ fault. It’s never their fault. They either were not taught or were not asked correctly. Take responsibility for your horse and your knowledge to deal with them!
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Barn owners / managers who say “this is a no drama barn”. Rest assured, it’s probably the barn owner/manager who is the drama monger.
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People who think any horse is worthless unless they are going FEI level in a sport. Had one of those at a barn I was at and they didn’t even care if our worthless horses got fed… because they didn’t deserve it - they should be taken to the kill buyer auctions.
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People who have breed biases who don’t know anything about the breed they do / don’t like.
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People who think a pretty horse is a good horse. When I go to events and everyone tells me what a pretty horse I have, I reply, yes, thank you - she’s a very good horse. There is a difference. I want them to appreciate that - because I certainly do! Pretty is pretty. Good is priceless.
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And lastly, people who hang a professional shingle out who have no business doing so - they are craptastic and are prone to doing more damage than good.
Hmmm… that’s a long list - but it’s taken a lifetime of experiences to acquire.
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#10 is definitely my favorite. I see so much of it around here, preying on people who are too new, lacking knowledge and easily fooled. Unfortunately, it’s the horses and often children who pay the ultimate price.
I really wish there was some basic testing/licensing for trainers/instructors/barn managers. Wouldn’t get them all but might cull out the worst of them.
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1 - Trainers/professionals who openly gossip about their clients or other professionals.
2 - People who look down on those who ride school/lesson horses or disparage those horses’ quality.
3 - Those who ask to borrow something once, then take that as license to help themselves whenever they’d like without checking back in.
4 - Riders (mainly juniors but some young AAs/AOs too) who are rude to the parents bankrolling their hobby.
5 - Anyone who blows off sweeping/tidying up with “Oh, the groom/hand can just take care of it.”
6 - The self-qualified vet who has a diagnosis to offer for everything - but whose opinion is always unsolicited.
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